"And Alma said I disgusted her… told me to prove it. So I did, and then…"
"How exactly did you 'prove it'?" Robert leaned in.
"She asked me to kiss her."
"She asked you to kiss her… to prove she didn't disgust you?"
"Something like that."
"And that's it?"
"…Not exactly," I muttered, already feeling my face heat up.
"You slept with her?"
"Not exactly."
"Alan, for fuck's sake, just say it already!"
"I was drunk out of my mind, alright?" I snapped. "I barely understood what was going on. She… she told me to relax. To let her do whatever she wanted. And then…"
"And then?"
"That's it. I'm not talking about this anymore. This is embarrassing."
"A seven-year-old girl watched my entire sex life in detail," Robert shot back. "That's embarrassing. So what did Alma do?"
I hesitated.
"…She… got me off."
Robert didn't blink.
"…How?"
I swallowed.
"…With her mouth."
My face burned.
"And like a noble knight," Robert said slowly, "you immediately asked her out after that?"
"No. I just… fell asleep. She was gone in the morning. I didn't even see her again until Monday breakfast. Damn it, Robert, I don't even understand how this turned into… this."
"Yeah," he nodded, looking way too pleased with himself. "I get it."
"What do you mean, you get it?"
"Alma's experienced," he shrugged. "She knows exactly what a guy needs. And you? You're green as hell. I've noticed for a while she had her eye on you. She just took her chance and locked you down."
A pause.
"Good for her."
I groaned.
"So what do you think?"
"About Alma? She's… a good friend."
"A friend?" he raised an eyebrow. "So you weren't planning on dating her?"
"I wanted to talk to her. Apologize."
"Apologize?" he snorted. "For letting her wrap you around her finger?"
"…Something like that."
"Smart girl," Robert muttered. "You do realize half the academy already thinks you're 'dating'?"
I dropped my head into my hands.
"Please tell me you're joking."
"Nope. So just go with it for a bit. Get some experience. Then break it off."
"Experience…" I muttered.
"What, problem with that?"
"…Not exactly. Just… forget it. Let's go."
"Oh no, you don't. Finish it. We're friends—who else are you gonna talk to about this?" he grinned.
I hesitated.
"I don't even know how to explain it. Alma's beautiful. Fun. Smart. Sexy. But I'm just… not attracted to her. At all. You get it?"
Robert frowned.
"…I get it. And at the same time, I don't."
A pause.
"You got hard when she—" he gestured down.
I nodded.
"So physically, everything works," he said. "Maybe you're into older women?"
I shook my head.
"Have you ever… you know… without anyone doing anything?"
I hesitated.
Then nodded.
"…And it was?"
I covered my face.
"…Storik."
Silence.
Heavy.
I braced myself.
For laughter.
For disgust.
For anything.
"…Yeah," Robert said slowly. "That's… a problem."
We both went quiet.
I couldn't even look at him.
After a moment, he stood and headed for the door.
"You coming?"
I got up uncertainly.
"Problem," he repeated, then suddenly turned back. "Before you try seducing a teacher, maybe try someone more available."
A grin.
"What about Nick? He's been drooling over you for ages."
I froze.
"What? Let's go."
"I thought… you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore."
"Because you get hard for a guy?" he laughed. "I don't give a shit who you sleep with. As long as you actually enjoy it."
By the fourth class, I was done.
The pain didn't spike anymore—
it just sat there.
Constant.
Draining everything out of me.
"Holivan!"
Storik's voice cut through everything.
I flinched.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he growled, stepping right up to me.
Robert made a weird sound beside me and raised an eyebrow.
I flushed instantly.
"…I was in class," I muttered.
"That's exactly what I'm asking," he snapped. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Despite the tone, his grip on my shoulder was careful.
He turned me slightly.
"And what is this?" His frown deepened as he lifted his hand toward my face.
"Bathroom. Now."
I followed him.
Like a kid who'd just been caught.
He pushed open a stall and stepped aside.
"Take it off," he said, nodding at my shirt.
I hesitated—
then started unbuttoning.
Slow.
Awkward.
The bandages underneath were soaked through.
Blood.
"…Alan," he said, quieter now.
"Doing this won't make you stronger. You'll just make it worse. What happened out there wasn't your fault. You shouldn't have even been fighting. Stop pushing yourself like this."
"I'm not," I muttered. "But if I stayed in that room any longer, I would've lost my mind."
He exhaled.
"…Come on. I'm taking you to the infirmary."
No matter how much I protested—
he didn't care.
After the bandages were redone, he walked me back to the dorm.
We ran into Nick on the way.
He looked tense.
Too tense.
"Volkin," Andrew called. "You free?"
"Yes, Instructor," he said, glancing at me.
"Good. I'm handing this idiot over to you. Don't let him out of the dorm. He'll try to sneak back to class again."
"Of course."
Nick nodded.
"Come on."
I followed.
Too tired to argue.
"We could watch a movie," Nick said as we entered the dorm. "In my room."
"A movie? You've got a TV?"
"No. Laptop. And a bunch of discs," he smiled.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I perked up a little.
"Because I bought everything on Sunday. I wanted to surprise you… before I found out about you and Hwon."
He trailed off.
We stepped into his room.
"Are we alone?"
"There are three of us assigned here. The others only come here to sleep."
We picked a movie.
Set the laptop on the table.
Sat on his bed.
Too close.
Too quiet.
Too tense.
"Nick," I said, turning to him.
He looked at me.
"About Alma and me…"
"It's fine," he said with a strained smile. "She's beautiful. I get it."
"No. That's not it," I said quickly. "We're not actually dating. Something happened Sunday…"
I hesitated.
"…and she decided we are. I haven't even talked to her about it yet. But I never asked her out."