Chapter 222: A Bunch of Trash Together Is Still Just Trash
Once the commotion finally settled, Kakashi and the others escorted Deidara out of the office.
Now only Sakura and Tobirama remained, along with the still-bubbling hot pot on the desk.
Sakura eyed the desk covered in scattered ingredients with visible distaste.
Even the mess her own clone had made bothered her a little.
Sure, her clone had a bit of a soft spot for food — but at least it always cleaned up afterward.
Today, Tobirama's sudden return had forced an abrupt shutdown before any cleanup could happen.
Sakura settled onto the sofa, leaning back against the cushions, and spoke with resigned patience.
"So — how'd the mission actually go?"
Tobirama didn't bother revisiting the earlier chaos. He sat down on the other end of the sofa, poured himself a glass of water, and began.
"As you saw — we captured one Akatsuki member."
He tossed an object toward Sakura.
She caught it.
A ring, engraved with the character "Blue."
Deidara's ring.
Akatsuki's Blue Dragon.
The ring wasn't just an identity marker — it also served as a critical communication tool between members.
"There's some kind of technique inscribed inside it. Channel chakra into it, and your consciousness can be projected across vast distances, appearing wherever the network connects."
"I was worried about tipping our hand, so I didn't use it."
Listening to Tobirama, Sakura turned the ring over in her fingers, speaking at an unhurried pace.
"Anything else?"
Tobirama's eyes cooled slightly.
"Deidara's partner, Sasori, was rescued by Orochimaru."
"And before we caught Deidara, I happened — through sheer coincidence — to exchange a few words with their leader, Pain."
"Their goal is to collect all nine Tailed Beasts and construct some kind of ultimate weapon, powerful enough to intimidate the entire world into abandoning war."
At this, a mocking smile crossed Sakura's lips.
"Decent plan. At least it sounds more coherent than Jiraiya's 'Child of Prophecy' theory."
Tobirama noticed the sharp edge in her smile and said nothing further.
He knew exactly who that mockery was aimed at.
"I recall telling you not to take prisoners."
"Is my Second Hokage defying the Hokage's direct order?"
Sakura had no interest in dwelling on that particular topic further, and instead brought up the matter of Deidara.
"Deidara is different from the rest of the Akatsuki. He's the Third Tsuchikage's own student."
"We can use him to negotiate for the Light Weight Rock and Heavy Weight Rock techniques from the Tsuchikage."
"Light Weight Rock would fill your last remaining gap. Heavy Weight Rock would further amplify your strength."
Tobirama's words caught Sakura somewhat off guard.
She hadn't expected the Second Hokage to be this genuinely considerate.
"Heh. Don't look at me like that."
"You're the Fifth Hokage now. Your strength IS Konoha's strength."
Tobirama claimed indifference, but the slight upward curl of his mouth gave him away.
"You're really something..."
Sakura wanted to say something, but instead settled on:
"Fine. I'll owe you one."
Tobirama didn't push the matter further. He simply stood.
"You're my great-granddaughter's student, in a manner of speaking. Whether you're Hokage or not, you're still my junior."
"Successors surpassing their predecessors — that's something worth celebrating. For me, and for our entire lineage."
Watching Tobirama shift into philosophical mode, Sakura nodded resignedly.
"Yeah, yeah~ You're absolutely right."
Seeing her resigned expression, Tobirama's smile deepened further. Then, under Sakura's puzzled gaze, he walked to the corner of the office, bent down, and picked up...
"A turtle?"
Sakura asked, confused.
Had Tobirama actually gone out and brought her back a turtle?
"I am NOT a turtle!"
"I AM THE THREE-TAILS!"
Before Tobirama could speak, the Three-Tails in his hands immediately protested.
"This is the Three-Tails. The Akatsuki drained most of its chakra, which is why it looks like this now."
Tobirama gestured at the basketball-sized Three-Tails in his grip, then set it on the coffee table in front of Sakura.
Looking at this miniature Three-Tails, Sakura couldn't help feeling a pang of genuine sympathy.
This beast had truly drawn the short straw.
First controlled by Obito's Sharingan for over a decade while still bound to Yagura. Then, three years ago, its jinchūriki led Kirigakure into war — and the Fourth Mizukage got punched clean through before he could even manage a proper transformation.
Now, finally revived, barely enjoying a couple days of freedom before Akatsuki caught it and drained its chakra — reducing it to this pathetic little turtle, dragged in by Tobirama.
Truly the most tragic story among all nine Tailed Beasts.
Enough to move anyone to tears.
"Here. It's yours. Keep it as a pet."
Tobirama gestured toward the Three-Tails on the table.
"You traveled all that way and brought me back a TURTLE?"
Sakura stared at Tobirama in disbelief.
"I AM A TORTOISE!"
"TORTOISE!"
The Three-Tails, hearing itself called a "turtle" once more, flared with indignation.
"Eh, same difference. It's all shell-dwellers anyway."
Sakura poked the Three-Tails' head, unbothered.
Feeling that finger rubbing against its head, the Three-Tails snapped its jaws toward it in fury — only for the finger to whip away at lightning speed.
"Feisty little thing."
Pinky studied the tiny turtle on her desk with genuine amusement.
"Alright. I'll take this thing. Go ahead and reach out to Iwagakure."
Sakura looked at the Three-Tails, now curled up in resentful defeat, all four limbs, head, and three tails tucked completely into its shell.
"Understood. I'll get started."
Tobirama nodded and prepared to draft the intelligence report to send via hawk to Iwagakure, requesting that Ōnoki send a representative.
But just as he stood, he paused, questioning his own existence.
Why does he keep handling everyone's problems so smoothly?
Shouldn't this be someone else's job?
"Wait. One more thing."
Before Tobirama could fully process his existential crisis, Sakura continued:
"How did Naruto perform on this mission?"
At this, Tobirama recalled the reckless boy. He'd meant to say something dismissive, but instead found himself saying:
"He did fine. Capturing Deidara — his contribution was indispensable."
Sakura was mildly surprised. She'd assumed Tobirama's temperament and Naruto's would clash badly, requiring some adjustment period. She hadn't expected this.
"High praise. Right, before you left, I promised Naruto that if he performed well, I'd have you teach him a jutsu. So — help him refine the Rasengan a bit."
"Also — Naruto's a single-nature Wind Release user. You might consider developing the Rasengan in that direction."
"I'll dig up Minato's old research materials on the Rasengan for you."
After all, Naruto had already achieved Sage Mode. It was time to develop the Wind Release Shuriken variant.
And with Tobirama's guidance, Sakura had no doubt it would come together effortlessly.
Minato had already laid the groundwork — Tobirama just needed to walk Naruto down the same path.
Hearing this, Tobirama felt his world grow noticeably darker.
So — after sending intelligence to Iwagakure, this old man is now expected to go tutor that troublesome brat?
You don't work a donkey this hard!
If I'd known this would happen, why did I even bother inventing Impure World Reincarnation...
"What's wrong?"
Sakura eyed Tobirama, standing motionless, with mild confusion.
"Nothing. Understood."
After Tobirama departed, Sakura mulled over her next steps.
The Akatsuki weren't fools. After this operation, they'd almost certainly suspect Konoha was actively targeting them.
Successfully capturing Deidara this time didn't guarantee similar success against other members going forward.
But the Three-Tails was currently the only Tailed Beast in the shinobi world without a settled home.
Beyond Konoha's Two-Tails, Seven-Tails, and Nine-Tails, the remaining One, Four, Five, Six, and Eight-Tails all had known, named hosts.
Especially the One, Six, and Eight — all sitting Kage of their respective villages.
Moving against them would inevitably create a massive commotion.
Sakura's guess was that the Akatsuki would likely target the Four or Five-Tails next.
The Four-Tails' host, Rōshi, was currently wandering the shinobi world unaffiliated. And the Five-Tails' host, Han — whom she'd briefly crossed paths with during the Snow Country mission — lived near Iwagakure but not within the village proper.
Both were the easiest targets available.
But considering that, in the original story, the Akatsuki had opened their campaign by brazenly storming Sunagakure to abduct Gaara himself while he was Kazekage, Sakura found herself hesitating.
They were a group of rogue ninja, after all. Trying to predict their exact logic wasn't something Sakura could fully manage.
Oh well. Mind your own business.
Whatever happened in Wind, Lightning, Water, or Earth Country was none of her concern.
As long as the Two-Tails, Seven-Tails, and Nine-Tails remained safely in Konoha, what did it matter if the entire Akatsuki came at once?
One at a time, one death at a time.
As for their nominal ally, Iwagakure — if they had the sense to trade the Light and Heavy Weight Rock techniques for Deidara, Sakura wouldn't mind graciously suggesting they keep a closer eye on their own jinchūriki.
Her emerald eyes flicked toward the motionless Three-Tails on the desk. She reached out and knocked lightly on its shell.
"What do you want?"
The Three-Tails' muffled voice echoed from inside its shell.
"Want to chat?"
"I have nothing to say to a human."
The Three-Tails pushed back firmly against Sakura's offer.
"That so~~~"
"Guess it's turtle soup, then~~~"
"I've had turtle soup before. Tortoise soup would be a first, though~~~"
Sakura rubbed her chin, sounding genuinely curious.
"I'LL TALK!"
"I'LL TALK!"
"What do you want to know?!"
At the mention of being turned into soup, the Three-Tails' head shot out of its shell, staring at the evil pink-haired girl in terror.
"Now that's more like it~~~"
Sakura beamed, reaching out to rub the Three-Tails' head.
Feeling the finger on its skull, the Three-Tails silently shed a tear inside.
Damned humans. Damned pinky. Threatening someone with SOUP.
I am the great Isobu, Three-Tails! Reduced to THIS!
"Come on, tell me — where's the Four-Tails right now?"
"And don't try to play dumb with me — I know you Tailed Beasts have your own shared communication space."
Sakura looked at the little turtle expectantly.
!!!
Wait—
How does this pinky know about the Tailed Beasts' shared communication space?
That damned Kurama — always acting all high and mighty, and he sold that intel out to humans too?
Isobu stared at Sakura in shock, immediately thinking of the Nine-Tails currently residing in Konoha.
He's the only one of us who normally can't speak in the Tailed Beast space — turns out he sold us out ANYWAY?
Kurama is a DISGRACE to all Tailed Beasts!
Wait, no — that's not right either!
The Two-Tails and Seven-Tails are ALSO in Konoha. No guarantee it wasn't one of THEM!
One of these three is DEFINITELY a traitor!
"Since you already know about the Tailed Beast space, why not just ask the Tailed Beasts already in Konoha directly?"
Isobu was determined to find out exactly which scoundrel had betrayed them.
Colluding with humans, selling out fellow Tailed Beasts — absolutely no honor among beasts!
"Don't worry about that. Just tell me — where's the Four-Tails?"
Sakura regarded the miniature Three-Tails with lively interest.
After a long silence, Isobu spoke words that even Sakura found genuinely surprising.
"Just... just turn me into soup."
He, Isobu of the Three-Tails, would rather die than betray a fellow beast!
Rather than give up the Four-Tails' location, he chose to be cooked.
The Three-Tails chose the soup pot.
"Now that's a loyal turtle."
Sakura looked at the tiny creature with something like admiration, then spoke.
"Someone."
At Sakura's summons, Isobu's heart leapt into his throat.
It's happening. It's really happening.
I'M going to be COOKED.
Waaaaaah!
To think — I, the mighty Isobu, once fought Hashirama Senju himself to a standstill, was captured, endured three successive jinchūriki hosts... and THIS is how it all ends?!
FOUR-TAILS!
SON GOKŪ, you damned monkey!
You OWE me a life debt!
WAAAAAH!
As Sakura's words fell, an ANBU with long purple hair materialized beside her.
"Lady Hokage."
Tenzō had already been reassigned to the Research Bureau by Sakura. Uzuki Yūgao had taken his place.
"Go find a fish tank for this thing. Big and sturdy."
"Set it up in my office."
Sakura poked the Three-Tails' head, a smile playing on her lips.
"Huh?"
"You're NOT going to eat me?!"
The Three-Tails stared at Sakura in astonishment.
"Eat what?"
"Look at all that shell. There's barely any meat on you."
"Probably two pounds total, one and a half of which is shell."
"And who even knows if you're poisonous."
Hearing this, Isobu's mood flipped instantly from despair to relief, nodding vigorously.
"That's right, that's right! Barely any meat on me at all!"
"Nothing but shell, top to bottom! Not one scrap of meat!"
"Oh, and I'm a freshwater turtle. Not poisonous."
Even though this pinky's tone made it clear she now considered him a pet, that still beat getting eaten.
Isobu immediately flipped onto his back, exposing his belly to Sakura — a gesture of total submission, proof that he was a good, obedient creature, perfectly suited for pet-hood and absolutely unsuitable as an ingredient.
Sakura found the Three-Tails' complete about-face genuinely funny.
Who knew this Three-Tails could be loyal to its friends AND read the room when it mattered.
A pet should look and act like a pet.
At least it was far more agreeable than that Nekomata Two-Tails.
As for the Seven-Tails...
Sakura wasn't a fan of keeping bugs.
Night
Amegakure, the central tower
A cluster of ghostly, translucent figures had once again converged in this place. Unlike previous gatherings, this one felt distinctly quieter.
The reason was simple: Deidara, usually the liveliest presence in the room, was absent.
"Heheheh. Looks like Deidara finally screwed up."
Kisame eyed the empty space beside Sasori with sinister amusement.
"Serves him right. Always fussing over his clay. Told him it wasn't reliable."
"And look what happened. Snatched right up by Konoha."
"Should've just followed Lord Jashin like me. Would've been better off."
"What a shame."
Hidan, always eager for a spectacle, chimed in gleefully.
"You're one to talk. Your own combat skill seems lower than Deidara's."
Kisame still remembered Hidan's earlier comment about his Water Release being inferior to Tobirama's.
"WHAT?!"
"You WANT to die?!"
"You want to be sacrificed to Lord Jashin?!"
Hidan flared with instant fury at Kisame's implied challenge to his skill.
"I'm just stating a fact."
Kisame remained perfectly composed in the face of Hidan's rage.
"You—"
"ENOUGH."
Hidan tried to fire back, but Pain's voice cut through from ahead.
Accompanied by the same eerily precise footsteps, Pain and Konan arrived at the gathering.
"We are all comrades. Infighting between comrades will never be tolerated."
Pain pulled aside the veil-like curtain hanging before him and spoke calmly.
"Tch..."
Hidan remained unconvinced, but under Pain's warning gaze, he clamped his mouth shut.
"This operation was both a success and a failure."
Seeing no one else speak, Pain nodded with quiet satisfaction.
"We successfully captured the Three-Tails. But we lost a comrade in the process."
"Sasori is currently without a partner."
"Obito — pair up with Sasori for now."
Pain's gaze settled on the man in the corner.
"Fine."
Obito regarded the figure standing under the dim light with an even expression.
"No objections from me."
Sasori glanced at Obito and said nothing further.
"Good."
"Though we've lost a comrade, our path must not stall because of it."
Pain's gaze remained calm as he laid out the plan he'd already worked through.
"After the Three-Tails, our next target is Sunagakure's One-Tail. To avoid a repeat of what happened this time, when the moment comes to capture the One-Tail—"
"Sasori, Obito, Kisame, and Itachi will move together, as a team of four."
"This way, even if we encounter formidable resistance, we'll retain the ability to withdraw."
"Sasori — this next one falls to you again."
By rights, Sasori and Deidara should have had a rest period after just capturing the Three-Tails. But since the One-Tail resided in Sunagakure, and Sasori himself was originally from the Hidden Sand, no one was better suited for this assignment.
"I'm fine."
Sasori replied evenly.
Pain seemed pleased with his attitude, then turned his attention to Obito and Itachi.
He'd long known these two didn't get along. But right now, Hidan and Kakuzu were still in the Land of Fire — reaching Wind Country in time would be difficult.
"How much longer will you two be staying in the Land of Fire?"
Pain addressed Kakuzu and Hidan.
"Huh?"
"I wanted to leave too, but Kakuzu here insisted on picking up some side money first."
"Says he's going after that Guardian Twelve member — what's his name, Jiroubou — at the Fire Temple."
"Apparently the bounty's pretty hefty."
Hidan responded.
"What do you know? Money is the single most beautiful thing in this world."
Kakuzu shot Hidan a glare, irritated that he was tattling in front of the boss.
"Yeah, yeah~~~"
Hidan was long since accustomed to Kakuzu's obsession with money.
"I see... Kakuzu, once you've secured Jiroubou, rendezvous with Hiruko. The three of you can then join Obito once the One-Tail operation concludes."
"At that point, the four of you will move together to capture the Four-Tails."
Hearing that Kakuzu was, on top of everything, actively earning money, Pain's tone softened somewhat.
Whatever anyone else's flaws, Kakuzu's contributions were undeniable.
"And Zetsu."
"Prioritize locating the Four-Tails' whereabouts."
Pain turned to Zetsu, who'd remained silent throughout.
"Understood."
Zetsu acknowledged.
"With that, we're—"
Before Pain could finish the word "adjourned," his expression shifted abruptly, his gaze fixing on a particular direction.
Not just Pain — everyone else instinctively turned to look as well.
A translucent silhouette materialized before them, and the figure was—
"Konoha's Fifth Hokage."
"Haruno Sakura."
Pain regarded the projection, his expression unreadable.
"Well, well, well. Took some real work figuring this thing out, but who knew I'd actually manage it?"
Pinky studied the assembled group with genuine interest.
Pain. Konan. Obito. Itachi. Sasori. Hidan. Kakuzu...
Not a single member missing. The whole roster, present and accounted for.
"Never expected the Fifth Hokage would grace us with her presence personally. Something you need?"
Pain's gaze fell on the ring in Pinky's projected hand — the one engraved with the character "Blue."
Deidara's ring.
Akatsuki's Blue Dragon.
"Can't I just drop by for no reason?"
"Let me see what kind of scheming you people have been cooking up behind everyone's backs."
The pink silhouette strolled toward the bearer of the Rinnegan, studying him with an unhurried, appraising eye.
The gesture made every member present tense visibly.
Especially Kakuzu and Sasori.
Both of them had crossed blades with this Hokage directly — and both had lost decisively.
Sasori had exhausted every trick in his arsenal, and lost every puppet in the process.
Kakuzu had been chased all the way from the Land of Rivers to the Land of Rain — and had been forced to abandon a prized, hard-won heart in the process.
"Looking at these eyes up close... they're really not so different from anyone else's, are they?"
The pink projection studied the man before her, her words dripping with deliberate provocation.
"Heh. Where does someone find the nerve to speak to a god like that?"
"Don't get too full of yourself."
At the sight of Pinky mocking his eyes, Pain's expression turned cold.
"Where did YOU find the nerve to talk to ME like that?"
"Is it those eyes of yours?"
Pinky sneered at Pain, then swept her gaze around the room.
"Nothing here but a swarm of scheming lowlifes."
"A bunch of trash together is still just trash."
Pinky's smirk landed pointedly on Obito, crouched silently in the corner.
???
Excuse me — I haven't said a WORD this entire meeting. What did I do to deserve THIS?
☆☆☆
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