Chapter 210: New Year's Special
In the Hokage's office, Sakura looked at Homura Mitokado with a baffled expression.
"Isn't New Year's when everyone goes home to their own families?"
"What's it got to do with me? You'll be heading home too, won't you, Elder Homura?"
Homura pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and spoke with measured calm.
"That's true enough, but Sakura — don't forget, you're the Hokage now."
Sakura tilted her head, not understanding the connection.
What does being Hokage have to do with anything?
"Every year around this time, the village holds a fireworks festival, and Hiruzen always gave an address."
"So, well..."
The implication was clear.
???
"So what you're saying, Elder Homura, is that I have to WORK on New Year's?!"
Emerald eyes went wide. Sakura stared at Homura in utter disbelief.
"Ahem — you are the Hokage, after all. This is part of the job description."
Homura's gaze drifted subtly to one side.
Technically, the Hokage didn't have to appear. But Hiruzen had never missed a single one in decades, which meant the villagers had come to expect the Hokage's presence as a given.
And this being Sakura's first year in office, skipping it wouldn't look great.
What the—
No days off! Year-round!
And no overtime pay!
Heh — someone who works through New Year's must have saved up a lot of money, right?
Sakura was devastated.
"However, considering that Sakura is only sixteen, and a girl at that..."
Homura wasn't finished, and Sakura's eyes brightened with a glimmer of hope.
No work!
No work!
No work!
"I'd suggest not going with Hiruzen's stuffy old-man approach. Perhaps consult with Ino, Kushina, Naruto, and Sasuke about how to make your appearance."
Hope destroyed!
"Fine..."
Pinky slumped lifelessly across the desk.
Naruto's Place
"Pair of threes."
A pair of cards hit the table.
"I BOMB!"
Four fours flew from Naruto's hand. Ino's expression froze.
"...Pass."
"Pair of sevens."
"Pair of eights."
"BOMB AGAIN!"
Another four-of-a-kind — eights — sailed from Naruto's hand.
"Pass." ×3.
"Bomb!"
"Bomb!"
"BOMB!"
Three consecutive four-of-a-kinds from Naruto left everyone's faces looking distinctly unwell.
"I've only got two cards left, you know~~~"
The golden-haired boy smugly fanned his remaining cards at Ino, Sakura, and Kushina.
"Just play them already."
Sakura was not amused.
She'd played exactly three cards the entire game. The rest of her time had been spent watching Naruto's one-man show.
And it wasn't just her — Kushina and Ino had been equally helpless.
"Heheheh..."
Naruto's grin turned wicked.
"ROCKET!"
A pair of jokers slammed onto the table. All three girls' faces went rigid.
Damn it all!
Ten games!
All ten — Naruto just showing off by himself!
Are you KIDDING me?!
Kushina tossed her hand onto the table in disgust.
"I'm done!"
"Naruto's luck is insane!"
The golden-haired boy scratched his head with a dopey grin, then produced a black marker from beside the table and regarded the three girls with distinctly malicious intent.
"You can quit, but the penalty still applies."
By now, Sakura's, Ino's, and Kushina's faces had all been decorated into cat-face masterpieces by Naruto.
And Naruto showed absolutely zero mercy — the more ridiculous the doodle, the better.
Even the spot on Sakura's forehead where the Yin Seal sat hadn't been spared.
"Bahahaha hic — Sakura, you — you look hilarious!"
Naruto raised his marker and added a little mustache to Pinky's face.
Sakura looked at Naruto and twitched.
If I beat him up, it'll look like I'm a sore loser. But you are NOT walking out of here on your own two feet today.
"Anyway — seriously, help me brainstorm."
After a trip to the bathroom to scrub the ink off her face, Sakura looked at the three of them with weary resignation.
"Brainstorm?"
"Can't you just do what they've always done?"
Naruto didn't see the problem.
"That's so boring. I want to see a brand-new Sakura!"
Ino stroked her chin and began scheming.
The moment those words left Ino's mouth, Sakura's instincts screamed danger.
"Come to think of it — Sakura, haven't you always just worn standard ninja gear?"
"You don't look like a girl at all."
Kushina studied Sakura with a contemplative expression.
Sakura was already regretting this. The urge to flee was building rapidly.
"Ahaha, I just remembered — I've got some, uh, things to take care of. I'll just be going now~~~"
Face frozen in a stiff smile, Sakura prepared to make her escape.
If she stayed any longer, these three would cook up something truly terrible.
"Chotto matte!"
Ino's hand shot out and seized Sakura's wrist with lightning speed.
"You're not going ANYWHERE!"
Ino's smile was pure malice as she looked at the would-be escapee.
"I — I'm not running! It's just that the Hokage's duties are very demanding, and I really must return to handle some paperwork—"
Sakura kept a straight face and improvised shamelessly, projecting an air of righteous obligation.
"Huh?"
"But doesn't the Second Hokage Stone-Face Guy handle all the paperwork?"
The golden retriever scratched his head in confusion.
...
Naruto, if you can't contribute to the conversation, then SHUT UP!
Sakura stared flatly at the oblivious blond.
"Ehehe... you're not getting away, Sakura."
Ino closed in with a sinister grin, and Sakura felt a bead of cold sweat trickle down.
"Wh-what are you going to do?"
Pinky swallowed hard and eyed Ino nervously.
"Hehehe... I want to..."
Uchiha Residence
"Is this really how you spend New Year's?"
Uchiha Hikaru lay sprawled on the floor, flipping through a manga, one eye raised toward the kitchen where Sasuke was cooking.
"Is it that bad?"
The cool-tempered boy frowned at the rice ball he'd just shaped.
Bonito rice balls.
He'd even molded them into little cat heads.
How does that count as "phoning it in"?
"Aren't you supposed to make a whole table of food? And set off fireworks? And hand out red envelopes?"
The black-haired girl turned a page and responded without looking up.
"A whole table of food — we can't eat that much between the two of us."
"Red envelopes, though..."
As Sasuke spoke, a red envelope decorated with a lucky cat landed on top of Hikaru's manga.
Hikaru looked up to find Sasuke crouched in front of her.
"Red envelope."
Before, when it had been just him, Sasuke never bothered with red envelopes.
But now that there was a second person in the Uchiha household, he'd specially ordered one from the Ninja Cat clan.
Just one, though — which had earned him a dirty look from Granny Cat.
"At least you've got some manners, kid."
Hikaru took the envelope and sat up, opening it to find five thousand ryō inside.
"Since you went to the trouble of giving me a red envelope, I suppose I'll deign to cook dinner tonight."
She counted the bills, nodded with satisfaction, and spoke.
"Hm?"
"You can cook?"
Sasuke's voice went up half an octave.
He'd been her personal chef for three years!
And she could cook this whole time?!
"When did I ever say I couldn't?"
Hikaru looked at Sasuke as though he were the strange one.
Even Sasuke couldn't suppress a twitch. He sighed.
"Fine. I'll wait, then."
"What ingredients do you need? I'll go buy them."
But Hikaru raised an eyebrow and shot him a look of pure disdain.
"With your amateur-hour cooking skills, the ingredients you'd pick wouldn't be fit for anything decent."
"Wait here. I'll go buy them myself."
Without waiting for a response, she grabbed a jacket from the coat rack and headed for the door.
Sasuke watched her leave, hesitating.
The market... might already be closed...
Under Ino and Kushina's overwhelming offensive, Kushina physically dragged Sakura to the Senju compound.
The Senju — a thousand-year-old clan whose founder's daughter had married the Daimyo of the era — lacked for nothing.
And Kushina had once stumbled upon jewelry that had belonged to Tsunade's mother while rummaging through the compound.
If they told Tsunade their plan, she'd absolutely agree!
And enthusiastically join in!
Don't doubt it — Tsunade was basically an overgrown child.
In the Senju compound, Tsunade — who'd been drinking alone — looked up at Ino and Kushina hauling a reluctant Sakura through the door, with a rubbernecking Naruto trailing behind, and raised a fine eyebrow.
"What wind blew our Lady Hokage in here?"
"Tsunade-sensei!"
Kushina rushed over and whispered urgently in Tsunade's ear. As she listened, Tsunade's eyes began to sparkle.
If they could get the normally domineering Sakura to do this...
Ehehehehe...
A mischievous grin spread across Tsunade's face, and Sakura's mouth twitched.
Great. Another one who just wants to watch the world burn.
Damn you, Elder Homura — telling me to "consult with Ino and Kushina."
I'm done for.
A glorious new line item was about to be added to the illustrious Fifth Hokage Haruno Sakura's résumé — one she would never, ever want to discuss.
Under Tsunade's guidance, the group of five arrived at a long-sealed room that had clearly been regularly maintained.
"Here we are."
Tsunade pushed the door open, revealing a room that practically radiated the word exquisite.
"This is all my mother's things. Don't touch anything carelessly."
"I'll find what we need."
"Sakura — sit there."
Tsunade pointed at the vanity, then went rummaging through cabinets.
Sakura sat before the vanity with the expression of someone attending their own funeral. She exhaled deeply.
For the first time in history, the perpetually bare-faced Sakura — under the terrible scheming of Ino and Kushina — was about to be put in a pink cat-ear maid outfit.
Of course—
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
I am the HOKAGE!
I am NOT wearing something that indecent!
As Sakura shook her head vehemently, a triumphant smile crept across Ino's face — and the cat-ear maid outfit was swapped for... formal court dress.
"Sakura, you already rejected one option — you can't say no to the second one~~~"
Under Ino's pitiful-puppy-eyes assault, Sakura caved.
THIS was your real plan all along!
Tsunade quickly unearthed a pink court dress that happened to complement Sakura's hair perfectly.
"Here — try this!"
"Use whatever you want!"
Without hesitation, Tsunade yanked open a vanity drawer and dumped out an enormous collection of assorted jewelry.
What the...
What did I ever do to deserve this...
Sakura stared at the pile of accessories, scalp tingling.
"Now then, Sakura — let's begin..."
Ino extended her evil hands toward Sakura.
"Call me Lady Hokage, thanks."
"Sure thing, Sakura. No problem, Sakura~~~"
A cold wind blew. Uchiha Hikaru stared at the firmly shuttered market gates, frozen in place.
Dammit — I finally decide to cook ONE meal and this is what I get?!
She glared at the closed doors, brow furrowed tightly.
But fate always left a door open!
When she set her mind to something, failure was not an option!
Hikaru's eyes darted as a plan formed.
Pinky is the Hokage. Getting her to help buy a couple of vegetables should be no problem!
Surely the Hokage can manage to procure some groceries?
She was a woman of action. Hikaru never dithered.
Where's Pinky? Obviously the Hokage's office.
And so—
"Lady Hokage is not in today."
A helpful staff member on duty at the Hokage Building informed Hikaru.
Huh?
If Pinky isn't at the office, she's definitely at home!
Haruno Residence
"Big Sis isn't home yet~~~"
The little pink-head looked up at the pretty lady and answered in her tiny voice.
"Then where is Sakura?"
Looking at this little creature, Hikaru crouched down and poked her cheek.
"I dunno~~~"
Mirai grabbed the finger poking her cheek.
"Why don't you come in and wait? Sakura might be back soon."
Haruno Mebuki smiled warmly at the girl crouching by the door and playing with little Mirai.
Hikaru hesitated. Sasuke was waiting at home...
"Does the pretty lady want to come inside?"
Mirai tilted her head at Hikaru.
This...
That Haruno Sakura's little sister is kind of cute...
"Um, I probably shouldn't..."
Her mouth said one thing. Her feet carried her inside on their own.
"It's okay — Big Sis will be back really soon~~~"
"Wow!"
"Sakura! You look AMAZING!"
Ino's eyes lit up at the sight before her.
"Call me Lady Hokage, thanks."
The Sakura standing before them was no longer in her Hokage robes. She wore a pink court dress traced with golden thread in petal patterns, and her long pink hair had been styled and secured with a single jade hairpin.
Her makeup was minimal — Yang Release Body Technique meant Sakura's complexion needed almost nothing. Ino had merely applied a light touch.
"Yay yay yay — Lady Hokage, wear this tonight and hand out red envelopes at the fireworks festival!"
That was what the three of them had spent all this time planning: Sakura would attend the fireworks festival in full formal dress and distribute red envelopes to the villagers.
No speech. No reflections. No New Year's blessings. Skip all of it.
At most, say "Happy New Year" and call it done.
Actions spoke louder than words — and money spoke louder than actions.
Sakura wholeheartedly agreed with this philosophy. Though she'd have agreed even more wholeheartedly if they hadn't made her dress up.
Night
Brilliant fireworks erupted across the dark sky, blooming into dazzling flowers of light.
All of Konoha was decorated for the New Year, and countless families had come out to enjoy the rare fireworks festival.
But most villagers' attention wasn't on the fireworks — it was helplessly drawn to the pink figure moving through the crowd, steadily handing out red envelopes.
"Happy New Year."
Court-dress Sakura shouldered a pink sack and distributed red envelopes to passing villagers without pause.
Ugh...
I feel like a mascot...
Her smile was approaching rigor mortis levels.
"Ooh!"
"The Hokage lady is so pretty!"
Just as Sakura was internally complaining, two children came running up to her.
"It's Lady Hokage..."
The children's parents looked at Sakura apologetically.
"It's fine. 'Hokage lady' works."
Sakura shook her head, pulled two more envelopes from the sack, and handed them over with a smile.
"Thank you, Hokage lady!"
After the children left, Sakura continued her rounds.
"Well, this is a rare sight. I never thought you'd wear something like that."
A familiar voice came from behind her, and Sakura's expression stiffened.
That voice...
She turned. Sure enough — Uchiha Hikaru.
"Big Sis!"
Alongside the shout, little Mirai burst out from behind Hikaru and launched herself into Sakura's arms.
"Mirai?"
"Why are you with her?"
Sakura caught Mirai first, then looked at Hikaru with confusion.
"I asked the pretty lady to take me out to play~~~"
Mirai stuck out her tongue at Sakura.
Then a pale hand extended toward her.
Sakura stared at the hand. Three question marks materialized above her head.
"Where's mine?"
"Red envelope."
Hikaru looked at the stunningly dressed Pinky, felt her cheeks flush slightly, and turned her face away with studied nonchalance.
"Here~"
"Happy New Year~"
Sakura placed a red envelope in Hikaru's hand, smiling warmly.
"Tch... like I care..."
BOOM!
The fireworks reached their grand finale, and even Sakura looked up.
Hikaru gazed at the brilliant display overhead, momentarily lost in thought.
Was she forgetting something?
She glanced sideways at Sakura — big Pinky holding little Pinky.
Whatever...
Uchiha Residence
The black-haired boy sat in the dark, empty living room, watching the fireworks through the window as he bit into a cat-shaped bonito rice ball.
Hikaru...
Where is she...
"So in the end... it's just me again?"
The black-haired boy sighed — and suddenly, every light in the room blazed to life.
"Why are you sitting in the dark with no lights on?"
Sakura, still in her court dress and carrying Mirai, looked at Sasuke with bewilderment.
Behind her were Naruto, Hikaru, Ino, Kushina...
Everyone except Sakura was carrying bags upon bags of groceries.
"Oh, the lights just sort of... short-circuited earlier."
"I'm not really sure what happened."
Sasuke lied for the first time in his life.
"Sasuke's just hopeless! Watch me fix the lights!"
The golden retriever set down his groceries and marched toward the light switch.
"Idiot — don't touch anything. What if you break them for good?"
"You bastard Sasuke, are you looking down on me?!"
"Yes."
☆☆☆
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