Chapter 40: ...Little Aunt-Master
Sakura lay sprawled on the rooftop steps with her arms folded behind her head and one ankle crossed over the other knee, gazing absently up at the white clouds drifting across the sky.
A little over a month until the Chūnin Exams. Which meant a little over a month until Orochimaru's Konoha Crush.
Except this time, the situation was different from canon. The Land of Earth was a participating sponsor too.
Because Sakura's resource-control strategy from years back had worked so well — too well — that the Land of Earth had been forced to seek a thaw with Konoha just to secure what they needed.
Plenty of opportunists had tried to scoop themselves a piece of the pie during the buildup, but with Sakura's forward-looking economic theory backed up by the hard pressure of actual ninja and the support of the Daimyō, anyone trying anything funny had had their fingers chopped off, no exaggeration.
In the end, this was still a world of shinobi. The Daimyō nominally gave the orders, but no Daimyō in his right mind would ever truly ignore his ninja.
The only question was — from which angle would Orochimaru launch his Konoha Crush this time?
If he ran the same playbook as canon, fine. The thing she was actually worried about was if Orochimaru got it in his head to target Ōnoki — that crusty old back-pain sufferer up in the Hidden Stone.
Although honestly? That might actually be better. Ōnoki wasn't Rasa. Ōnoki was the kind of stubborn old goat who could still rage-mode at age seventy.
If Orochimaru really tried to mess with Ōnoki, he could go ahead and personally sample the Dust Release.
Sakura's thoughts drifted lazily — and then a sudden eruption of noise from the classroom below snapped her attention back. She vanished from the steps, landed flat against the wall outside the classroom window, and peered in at the two main characters of the disaster.
A blonde boy and a black-haired boy.
Lips. Pressed. Together.
The entire class was staring in absolute disbelief as the two of them kissed.
Time stopped.
Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other with eyes the size of dinner plates — and then, in perfect synchronized motion, both bent over to one side, gagging.
"Naruto, you bastard, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
The boy with the Uchiha crest on his back clutched his chest and continued to dry heave between fits of fury.
"You think I wanted that?!"
"My first kiss was for SAKURA!"
Naruto, face twisted in equal parts misery and nausea, fired back.
Sakura: ...
Yeah, gonna have to pass on that one, actually.
The amused little smile that had been on her face dropped right off.
Go find your Hinata.
Speaking of Hinata — over in the classroom, the poor girl was literally biting on a handkerchief in envy of Sasuke.
Sakura stopped paying attention to whatever else they were doing in there and ghosted back up to the rooftop.
So annoying...
Naruto really was going to keep this up forever, wasn't he. She needed to find an opportunity to make Hinata's feelings extremely clear to him.
Just as Sakura had returned to the rooftop and resumed staring at the sky, Iruka had walked into the classroom downstairs, restored order, and started reading off team assignments.
"Yo."
"What's our ANBU squad captain doing up here all by herself?"
A figure landed beside her.
Sakura cut her green eyes sideways at the newcomer.
"Excuse me. Watch the tone. And — by seniority — what should you be calling me?"
"..."
Kakashi stared down at the kid in front of him with the air of a man who had finally run out of places to hide.
He'd dodged. He'd dodged for years. It hadn't worked.
This girl's master was the Third Hokage. The Third's student was Jiraiya. Jiraiya's student was the Fourth. And Kakashi's master was the Fourth.
By generational reckoning, this girl was the same generation as Jiraiya.
Which meant Kakashi, technically, was supposed to call her Grand-Master.
"...Little Aunt-Master."
He should be saying Grand-Master. But Sakura had decided that sounded too clunky and bumped Kakashi up a generation in the family tree just to spare her own ears.
He really should be thanking her~~
Kakashi mumbled the title with his most magnificent dead-fish stare.
When Sakura had first met him, it was all Senpai Kakashi this and Senpai Kakashi that. Then, once they'd gotten comfortable with each other, she'd started weaponizing this seniority bit just to torment him.
"Good boy~~"
Sakura, smile curling, casually patted his white hair.
This was the other great perk of being Hiruzen's apprentice: instant generational rank-up.
Even Minato Namikaze himself would have to politely call her "Little Aunt-Master" if he were standing here.
"What's up?"
The Naruto-induced annoyance had faded a bit. She turned to him with a small smile.
"It's about the team assignments. What's your read on the situation?"
Kakashi was referring to Hiruzen's arrangement.
When he'd first found out he was going to be the jōnin sensei for Naruto and Sasuke, he had actually been planning to take it pretty seriously. Then he'd learned the third member of the team was Sakura.
At which point he had decided that maybe being the Team Seven sensei wasn't that important after all.
Exactly what it meant for someone to become an ANBU squad captain at twelve years old — Kakashi, after a decade in ANBU himself, knew better than just about anyone. Even Itachi Uchiha had only made squad captain at thirteen. And this girl had achieved the position with a Special Jōnin rank backing her up.
If Hiruzen weren't actively holding her back to keep her from advancing too quickly, Sakura would already have been a regular Jōnin — same rank as Kakashi himself.
And Kakashi had only made jōnin at twelve because of wartime emergency protocols. Sakura had earned her rank through ordinary peacetime service. The "weight" of her rank was, quite frankly, more legitimate than his.
If they ever actually fought — Sakura would just summon Katsuyu, and Kakashi genuinely wouldn't have a great answer. Throw in Enma, Enhanced Strength, and her medical ninjutsu...
To prep for the upcoming Chūnin Exams, this absolute monster of a kunoichi was being downgraded into a fresh genin disguise, and Kakashi had given up complaining about it to the Third.
"What about it?"
"Sensei Kakashi?"
Sakura put a particularly heavy emphasis on Sensei.
It wasn't just Kakashi who was unhappy. Sakura was deeply unhappy too.
I broke my back in ANBU for four years. They fire me, just like that, and afterward all I get back is the rank — not even the actual ANBU position. ANBU benefits are not on the same planet as a regular ninja's pay grade. I'm going to have to tighten my belt every month from here on.
Kakashi gave her his most soulless dead-fish look in return.
I have a feeling this is going to be a long stretch ahead of me.
"...What I mean is, the upcoming Chūnin Exams."
His tone shifted, getting more serious.
"According to intelligence, someone seems to be planning to use the exam as cover for something."
Hiruzen wasn't just parking Sakura at the exam to anchor the room. He was also positioning her to handle whatever sudden crises broke out during the exam itself.
The written portion would be fine. But the moment they hit the Forest of Death, anything could go sideways. With Sakura inside that exam, she would be the village's most powerful — and fastest — emergency response asset on the ground.
That was Hiruzen's actual goal.
The real mission was, as always: protect Naruto.