She was gone. Elena.
I unconsciously wiped my tears with the sleeves of my white dress. My eyes were still leaking. My chest was still heavy.
For her, Elena—or for me? I wasn't sure.
It was then that I realized he was looking at me. Cael. Not with the bored, tired look he always wore. His look was lighter… but sad. Why sad?
Was he also sad for Elena, like I was?
My heart ached.
I realized I didn't want to see Cael's sad face. Maybe because I was used to his bored, tired-looking face.
I looked around the place. We were still in the middle of this gray nowhere. It was quiet here.
I usually talked when silence entered, but now I didn't feel like talking. I walked beside him and just stood there, doing nothing.
After a forever of silence, I asked him if I had passed.
He just nodded.
Then I asked again, "How is he? Is he okay?" Not a question—almost a statement. I sensed him look at me sideways. "Eric." My grandson.
I hadn't asked about going back. After confirming that I had passed, my first thought was Eric.
I walked in front of him and looked at him. "Is he—" I couldn't finish the sentence. He understood. He nodded. I exhaled.
I was content with that confirmation. I didn't expect a long answer from him, but he continued.
"His fever had broken. He was okay."
My shoulders dropped. My clenched hands relaxed.
Another silence entered.
Then it was me who asked again. Well, I guessed silence wouldn't be my friend.
"What happens to you," I said, "when I go back?"
He tilted his head—the way he did when I asked something he did not expect.
"Are you going back to that desk in that room again? Calling next after next?"
He didn't answer immediately. But it wasn't hesitation. He was looking at me like I was something he was still figuring out.
"Yes," he said finally. Like it was obvious.
I pushed. Not hard. Just—
"Do you want something different?"
He went quiet. Silence might not be my friend, but quiet was. Was there a difference?
"I didn't."
His voice was different. Not flat. Not his usual procedure voice. Just—
"Until recently."
Two words. He didn't elaborate. He didn't need to.
I didn't say anything.
I didn't make it into more than it was. I just looked at him. And I thought he understood what I didn't say.
The space changed. He moved, and I was startled a bit.
The light shifted. Or maybe it was the air—I really couldn't explain.
Cael went still.
Not his usual still. This was different. Like something inside him listened to something I couldn't hear.
He looked at me.
"It's time."
Time? For what? Another test?
But then I realized what he meant, and I nodded.
I didn't argue. Didn't ask if I could stay a little longer. I just nodded.
I thought that surprised him. The woman who always asked more questions. Who never stopped pushing.
But I didn't have a question right now.
I just had this.
I nodded.