I was scared.
I was scared that Dad had disappeared, and scared that something had happened to him.
It reminded me of when that nameless woman, the one who had shown me a little of the affection Dad gave, died.
Just like then, I ran through the streets with the fear that the absurd concept called death might swallow Dad too.
Death was when someone precious was taken away by the flow of a world that could not be resisted.
It meant never being able to talk together again, never being able to laugh or cry together again, never being able to feel each other's warmth again.
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
I don't want to lose him.
Dad. He's my dad.
No one gets to take him from me.
Don't take him away. If you do, I'll never forgive you.
I won't forgive you. Not anyone.
Don't take Dad away from me. If you do, I'll become something even more terrifying than death.
I'll become something more frightening than death and tear everything apart in a rage. I'll pour out everything boiling in my chest and smash it all.
I'll hold everything responsible for failing to stop Dad's death.
I'll break it. I'll break it. I'll break it. I'll break it. I'll break it.
I'll smash everything until nothing is left in this world.
So don't take Dad away. Give him back.
Dad. Where are you? Give Dad back!
Dad.
Dad.
Dad.
A-
"E-Eto!?"
The magma surging through my head like a violent torrent finally settled at the sound of one person's voice.
My vision was blurry. Not because it was dark, but because of the clear water that had filled my eyes and lost its way. I had been relying on smell more than sight to find Dad, so I hadn't noticed.
When I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, Dad finally came into view. He looked shocked that I had appeared, his eyes wide and his mouth opening and closing soundlessly.
He looked like he hadn't escaped unscathed anywhere, with blood streaming from his split forehead and injuries all over his body. But he was alive. He was alive!
"Dad! Dad, Dad, Dad!!!"
Hug!!
I ran with all my strength and wrapped both arms around Dad with all my strength. I didn't remember him saying my strength was stronger than other people's, so I needed to hold back even in everyday life.
Right now, I just wanted to feel with my whole body that Dad was alive. Thanks to that, his eyeballs seemed to jump out of place for a moment.
A little later, I heard Dad trying to calm me down after he came to his senses, but my crying didn't stop.
That was when it happened. Dad suddenly pulled me into his arms and threw himself sideways.
KWA-BOOOOM!!!
"Ghhk...!!"
"Dad?!"
The relief I'd felt at reuniting with Dad was wiped away by his pained groan and the unpleasant presence that had suddenly crashed in.
Ignoring the wound on his arm, which had been scraped worse against the bare ground because he had shielded me, Dad pushed himself up. Then he stood behind me as if protecting me and glared at the man who had dropped down from the building in the alley.
He was wearing the police uniform I'd seen often on TV.
Even though it was torn in places and stained with blood, the moment I realized some of that blood was Dad's, something hot started flowing again inside my head.
The man's eyes were burning dark red-black, marked by the [Kakugan] that proved he was a Ghoul. It was the first time I had ever seen another Ghoul besides myself.
But the man's gaze had none of the warmth one would expect toward his own kind. What it held was ridicule and contempt.
"Your dad? When I heard you were raising a Ghoul, I thought that was bad enough, but seeing it in person is even more ridiculous."
"Say one more word about Eto, and I'll kill you."
Dad's voice was sharper than I'd ever heard it.
It was the first time I had seen him this angry. But the Ghoul didn't seem afraid of Dad at all; a sneer deepened on his face.
"Kill me? You got lucky and caught me off guard a few times, and now you've forgotten your place?"
WHAM!!!
"?!!"
The world in front of me changed in an instant.
Dad was suddenly shoved backward, and I fell on my butt. The Dad who had been in front of me vanished.
I turned my head quickly to find him. I saw Dad being hurled into a wall, the Ghoul's hand clamped around the back of his neck.
Again, a magma-like blaze surged through my brain.
KWAANG!!!
"Guh...!!"
A rough hand cut off both breath and blood flow at once, and then the merciless impact of a concrete wall slammed into my back.
The air in my lungs screamed to get out, but even that couldn't escape because my throat was blocked, and it felt like my internal organs, lungs included, were about to burst.
"This is what you'd call a rat in a trap. Ghoul Investigator or not, I hope you're the last human who makes killing this much trouble."
"Kkh...!!"
I tried to shake the bastard's hand off with both hands, but it didn't budge. So I changed tactics and stabbed one hand toward his eyes.
SNATCH!
That too ended in vain, with my wrist caught before it could do anything. His smile deepened, as if he was certain I had no more tricks left.
"Feel it well. This is what a Ghoul is, and this is what a human is."
CRACK!!
For a moment, I couldn't tell where the sound had come from.
A short, dry noise, like a dead branch snapping. And then the wrist he had been holding was bent in a direction it should never have bent.
My right wrist was broken.
So easily it made me wonder if my body was really this fragile.
"...!! ...!!"
I couldn't even scream.
As oxygen to my brain was cut off, darkness gradually began to swallow my vision. The pain faded along with it, but that was hardly a good thing.
"Humans and Ghouls are different. Humans can't raise Ghouls. Even if they try, the Ghoul will end up living in a world made for humans. There were a few Ghouls like that before. Ghouls taken in by human pity, who learned the weak ways of humans and went out into the world that way. What do you think happened to those Ghouls in the end?"
Darkness kept devouring everything.
Even so, the bastard's voice, which I didn't want to hear, reached my ears with cruel clarity.
I was angry at myself for having no choice but to listen, but I couldn't even express that anger.
"They all died. A bird raised in a cage can't survive even a moment once it steps outside. Do you think you're protecting that child? Not at all. You're just a cage. If that child can't fly, then that will be your fault and no one else's."
I wanted to argue.
I couldn't argue.
Was it because my throat was blocked? Because I was on the verge of losing consciousness? Or because some part of me thought those words were right?
The question that had tormented me endlessly while raising Eto.
"Am I really raising this child properly?"
I couldn't be sure I was raising her well.
Wouldn't Mr. Kuzen have done a better job?
If I weren't so weak, that child wouldn't need to feel responsible, and she wouldn't have to endure this Ghoul's contemptuous words and gaze.
The world is cruel. It does not allow someone to gain happiness through affection alone.
I am weak. I don't even have the minimum strength to protect that child from the waves of this world.
I can't fly. Far from flying, I was nothing more than a cage being corroded day by day by obsession with death and a gnawing anxiety, rusting away little by little.
In that condition, there was no way I could think of a rebuttal.
I couldn't even manage one last curse in a final struggle.
All that remained was a pitiful death swallowed by helplessness...
CRUNCH!!
"Kkh?!"
Suddenly, with a short cry from the Ghoul, the strength in his grip loosened all at once.
The blocked breath escaped, and blood flow rushed oxygen to my brain.
With the sudden gasp, my chest lurched upward, and by reflex I swung my foot and kicked the Ghoul square in the nose.
The Ghoul reeled from the impact and fell backward.
Near his calves, Eto, her face twisted in anger and her [Kakugan] showing in her right eye, was biting into the Ghoul like a small beast.
"Eto...?"
Shoving the fallen Ghoul aside, I stared blankly as Eto thrust her small body in front of me and shouted, "Don't you dare touch my dad!!!"