"Alright, alright! Hey, pops~ the game's over! Your boss is caught, and you guys have been utterly defeated, or so I'm told!"
Looking down at the numerous yakuza members sprawled across the floor, bruised and battered, Satoru Gojo waved his finger playfully while chatting with excitement.
"From now on, you have the right to hire a lawyer, or remain silent during unfavorable statements... uh, what was it again? Anyway! You can't exercise the Marinda Principle when the cops get here! You got that~?!"
Suguru Geto, who was busy tying up the fallen punks with rope behind him, sighed and corrected him.
"It's the Miranda Warning, Satoru."
"Ah, that's the one!"
However, despite Gojo's leisurely mockery, the yakuza executives who hadn't lost consciousness yet began to scream with veins popping in their necks.
"Shut up, you brats! Our Chairman will surely return!!"
"She is a great person who will devour not just Kansai, but the entire archipelago!"
"One Man, One Hundred Kills! The living Gokudo! The cruelest flower blooming from the extreme path! That is our great Gokudo Flower!!"
"Ugh, seriously, they're so damn loud!"
Gojo picked his ear at the yakuza's shouting, which sounded like the screams of cult fanatics.
"Hey, Suguru~ You've got plenty of Cursed Spirits. Don't you have one that can shut these old guys up? Just pull one out."
"No."
Geto shook his head firmly.
"If they were sorcerers, maybe, but if I recklessly use sleep or silence-type Cursed Spirits on ordinary non-sorcerers who have zero resistance to Cursed Energy, they might never wake up and end up in a vegetative state. Clean-up becomes a pain if we kill them, so just bear with it."
"Haaaaaah~~."
Gojo let out a groan and plopped down onto the ground.
"What's taking that Zenin kid so long? And when are the Windows and the police we requested supposed to get here? I'm tired already~!"
The night was filled with the messy mixture of the yakuza's howling praise and Gojo's whining, echoing through the parking lot.
At that exact moment, from the entrance of the pitch-black parking lot, the sound of steady, dignified footsteps began to approach.
Thump! CRASH—!!
In the freight truck parking lot where loud noises and shouts were being exchanged.
Suddenly, the sound of something heavy landing on top of a massive truck container in the middle of the lot rang out.
"...Huh?"
"W-What was that sound!"
The eyes of the thousands of yakuza, either kneeling or lying on the ground, and the trio (Gojo, Geto, and Shoko), who had been watching them in boredom, all snapped toward the top of the container at once.
And the scene unfolded there was, quite literally, enough to make everyone's jaw hit the floor.
"...."
Framed against the dark night sky,
There was the white-haired yakuza boss, Gokudo Flower, kneeling in her underwear.
And standing behind her, holding a chillingly glinting blade pressed against the nape of her neck, was me—Hachiro.
"...What the hell is he doing up there?"
Suguru Geto couldn't close his mouth in sheer bewilderment. Shoko Ieiri held her forehead as if she'd lost all words, and Gojo lowered his sunglasses to rub his eyes.
"Ch-Chairman...!!"
"Th-This can't be! Gokudo Flower-sama...!!"
The crowd of yakuza below began to tremble in horror at the shocking sight of their supreme leader being humiliated and forced to her knees in a half-naked state.
*
'...Shit, how did it end up like this?'
Receiving the shock-filled gazes from below, I felt like crying tears of blood, wishing I could crawl into a mouse hole or a dog flap—anywhere to hide.
I swear on my life, this wasn't my original plan.
I just wanted to pull off a cool historical drama-style performance—forcing the criminal to their knees and shouting at the top of my lungs, "I have captured the enemy general!!"
But just before we climbed onto this container from the net cafe...
"Hey. A historical drama scene? If you want it to look realistic, shouldn't you be tied up in ropes or take off your clothes? That's the real deal!"
"...What? Hey, are you crazy?!"
"Should I just strip it all off?"
This crazy woman suddenly started burning with an artistic soul(?) and began tossing off her tank top and pants!!
"Ah, damn it! Please don't strip!! Stop at the underwear! Please, just stop there!!"
After I turned pale and desperately dissuaded her, we barely managed to stop at her being in her underwear... but, ah, seriously, all the immersion, the 'coolness,' everything went down the drain. I'm never doing this again out of sheer embarrassment.
As I stood there blankly, stuck in a mid-life crisis and unable to say a word, Gokudo Flower, who was kneeling, tilted her head back slightly and whispered to me.
"Hey, what are you doing? Say the line, hurry up."
"...Haaa, fine. I'll do it, I'll do it."
Resigned to my fate, I took a deep breath and squeezed out my voice toward the bottom of the container.
"I... I have captured... the enemy general!!!"
My voice cracked slightly at the end.
"That's it. It's over, so please, just put your clothes back on, you psycho."
As I withdrew my sword and shouted with a bright red face, Gokudo Flower giggled and picked up her tank top from the floor to put it back on.
"Hmm~ I've heard rumors about how the Zenin men handle women, but you're completely different. You're so modest and such an innocent prude~? Aww, how cute."
"Ah, geez... I really should have just decapitated you at the net cafe."
"Kukuku. If the word gets out that the future head of the Zenin clan is such an innocent prude that his face turns beet red just from seeing a woman's underwear, the Jujutsu world will be turned upside down. It'll be a sight to behold."
Despite her words, I could clearly see the tips of Gokudo Flower's own ears were blushing deep red.
"Hey!! Your yakuza subordinates are still watching from below, you know?! Get your facial expressions under control before your 'boss' image is completely ruined!!"
I barked at her and leaped down from the container, and Gokudo Flower roughly threw her clothes back on before following me with a light landing. As soon as the two of us stepped onto the parking lot floor, Satoru Gojo, who had been watching us like he was eating popcorn from afar, came running over.
"Yo~ Hachiro! Is that the Gokudo Flower?"
"Yeah, that's her. I had a 1v1 PvP match at the net cafe and settled things completely before bringing her here," I replied, sounding exhausted.
But then, Satoru Gojo suddenly glanced around once, slung his arm over my shoulder, and began to whisper into my ear secretly.
"Ahem, ahem. Hey, Hachiro, but you know..."
"What, what is it?"
Gojo lowered his sunglasses slightly, staring intensely into my eyes with an expression that was half-mischievous and half-horrified.
"I know it's a rule between the Three Great Families... that old-fashioned, archaic custom where the loser dedicates everything to the winner, and the winner takes the loser, their wife, children, and everything else like spoils of war. That custom was abolished in my family decades ago, you know?"
"...Huh?"
"But man, I guess the Zenin clan is still going strong, huh? Even so, to pull off such 'hardcore play'—stripping the poor girl's clothes and forcing her to yield in front of ten thousand people...
Ahem, ahem! You're my friend, but damn, your tastes are seriously hardcore. I'll give you that."
Gojo nudged my chest and gave me a big thumbs up.
Geto and Shoko were also staring at me from a distance with cold eyes, as if they were looking at a total piece of human garbage.
In an instant, the thread of my sanity snapped.
"THAT'S NOT IT, YOU BASTAAAAAARDS!!!!"
My scream, steeped in agonizing injustice, echoed pathetically into the Kyoto night sky.