I was broken.
Knowing that she'd done something wrong, Senne went to a corner of the room and stood facing the wall in silence.
The stream was going so well.
There were nearly fifty people when the stream started, and by the time THAT happened, the viewer count was nearing eighty, just stopping short at seventy-nine.
"What's wrong?"
I asked Senne, who suddenly stopped singing her silly demonic songs as the chat was getting lively, talking about how cool a 'trick' this was, theorizing what 'I' might be doing to prevent this 'ghost' from getting captured on camera.
'Where did she go?'
'What's happening?'
'Bring her back'
'Noooooo'
'Over so soon?'
The chat wanted her, for sure. And for tonight, I didn't really care that Senne was stealing the show—the whole stream was set up for her anyway. I didn't try to butt in, win the chat over, or make people laugh.
Overall, though somewhat sadly, it was possibly the best stream I'd ever done.
Then Senne just dropped the mic, literally.
"I'm done," she blurted out.
"What?"
"I'm not feeling it," she said.
"What the heck do you mean you are not 'feeling it'?"
"I just… feel nothing," she said, moving away from the camera and the PC.
I excused myself from the chat, telling them that I would be back soon with the 'ghost' again.
"Senne, you can't do this," I said to her, annoyed.
"Something isn't right. I'm just not feeling it."
"For God's sake! You are not a child! Take it seriously!" I yelled at her.
"I can't sing when I'm not feeling it."
"What the hell are you supposed to 'feel'? Stop saying that! I'm feeling good here, for a change!"
"I don't know. I just… you know what I mean."
With that, she just walked over to the window and started drawing circles on the glass surface with the tip of her finger.
"Come on! Get back here! Do it!"
I screamed at her as I saw the viewer count start to drop.
Senne said nothing and just looked up at the night sky. It was a cloudy night and there was no moon to be seen.
I knew then it was over. At least for tonight.
I didn't know what was wrong with this devil, but even if I got her back now she was in no state to be getting the crowd excited.
"I'm sorry, Chat. Something came up. See you on the next stream!"
I made the announcement and ended the stream.
As soon as I was done, I walked over and confronted the sulking devil.
"Listen, this isn't cool. What the hell do you think you are doing?"
Senne said nothing. She didn't even turn to look at me.
"Do you think this is some kind of a joke? Do you think I'm a joke? You do, don't you?"
"That's not what I—"
"Then what the fuck is wrong with you?!"
Senne clasped her hands in front of her chest, seemed to take a deep breath, then said,
"I'm just not feeling it. I'm sorry."
"You are USELESS!"
I shouted at her and pointed at the corner of the room.
At least she knew what she had done wrong. She walked over without a protest and faced the wall.
I had no intention of forgiving her. At least not while my fury was stronger than my curiosity.
"Bree, I hope you are not screaming at the chat," Brian said, walking into my room.
"I SAID, DON'T JUST COME INTO MY ROOM LIKE THAT!"
I screamed at Brian too. He just quickly glanced to check that I wasn't streaming. He seemed relieved, not caring how I was actually feeling at the moment. He simply nodded and walked out, closing the door quietly behind him.
No one cared.
Even Brian.
Deep down, he must be thinking this was just some phase that I was going through. That if he let me indulge for long enough, I'd eventually lose interest and give up.
Or maybe he was treating this like a Make-a-Wish kind of thing.
Doctors didn't say I would die any time soon, but it's always been a given that I wouldn't live long. And if anything happened and Brian wasn't around unlike the last time… I could die at any moment, alone, abandoned in my room.
So… it was all just pity, maybe.
Pity for his own sister.
He probably would feel relieved if I died eventually.
Mom probably would find some new Mike or Toby or Jim or Ed to move in.
All these people—and the devil—were useless.
None of them cared.
Sobbing, I put on my hoodie and headed outside.
"Where are you going, Bree? It's late," Brian asked when he saw me on the way out of the house.
"Wherever that's not here," I said before running out.
Yeah, wherever.
I really didn't care.