"Hmm… something feels strange somehow."
Walking through the familiar streets of Lungmen and looking at the neon lights flashing in every color, Shirou could not shake the feeling that something was off.
"Did I forget to bring the souvenirs?"
After thinking it over repeatedly, Shirou decided that the most likely explanation was that he had left the souvenirs he brought from Rhodes Island in Blacksteel Worldwide's vehicle.
They were all food items, snacks and biscuits with flavors from different countries sold at the Rhodes Island convenience store.
So Shirou had specifically bought some that the Penguin Logistics group might enjoy eating, along with some for the Lungmen Guard Department and the Fuyuki shop.
"Hmm… they are all here. Nothing is missing. Or is it just because I have been away from Lungmen for too long, so coming back feels strange?"
Shirou opened the large suitcase he had borrowed from Rhodes Island and carefully checked the section filled with snacks for quite some time.
The suitcase only contained a few pieces of his own clothing. Everything else inside was meant for other people.
After confirming that everything was still with him, Shirou concluded that perhaps after returning from Rhodes Island, he had somehow become unaccustomed to Lungmen itself.
After all, he had spent most of his time indoors at Rhodes Island. It was normal to need some time to readjust… probably.
In the end, Shirou still could not figure out the reason.
"Now that I think about it… I only started feeling that something was wrong after seeing Lappland's meaningful expression before we parted ways."
"She is not planning to dig a trap for me to fall into, is she?"
Thinking about this, Shirou eventually arrived at the entrance to Penguin Logistics' dormitory.
As he took out the key and prepared to unlock the door, he unconsciously swallowed.
This seemed to be the first time he had been away for such a long period. He wondered whether the others had been taking proper care of themselves.
At that thought, Shirou shook his head and forcefully cast those thoughts aside.
"Sigh… after being called 'Mom' by this group all the time, I really feel like I am turning into a housewife. This cannot continue."
Muttering to himself, Shirou opened the door.
The only thing that greeted him was darkness.
Well, it could not exactly be called complete darkness, considering someone's halo was giving off a faint glow.
There was also a pair of glowing eyes staring at him.
"Why are you not turning on the lights? Did the power go out?"
Shirou could not understand why the four of them were all crowded around the table without turning on the lights. He reached out, intending to switch them on.
"Do not turn on the lights, Shirou! We need to talk!"
Apparently noticing his movement, Exusiai immediately shouted.
"Talk about what?"
Although Shirou did not really understand what they were trying to do, he quickly assumed they might be trying to surprise him.
They had done similar things before, though the atmosphere had never been this oppressive.
"Obviously about what happened while you were at Rhodes Island these past few days."
Texas spoke while holding her phone.
"I do not understand what you are talking abou—"
The moment Shirou heard Texas's words, realization instantly dawned on him.
His deal with Lappland had failed! That woman had not deleted the chat history at all. Instead, she had directly explained the nature of their transaction and then asked Texas to pretend not to notice it.
All of this flashed through Shirou's mind the instant he used his eyes to read the final few messages on Texas's phone.
At first, Shirou panicked somewhat, because Lappland's wording was extremely easy to misunderstand.
And then Lappland had emphasized the transactional nature of their relationship at the very end, which made Shirou panic even more.
However, after using analysis to observe the condition of the room itself, all traces of panic instantly vanished without a trace, replaced instead by an overwhelming urge… to hit someone.
"Before we discuss that, let us first talk about what exactly happened to this place!"
Reaching out to switch on the lights, Shirou spoke to the group with a faint smile on his face.
The moment the lights came on, everyone in the room was forced to shut their eyes because of the sudden brightness. Then they simply kept their eyes closed and turned their heads away, not daring to look in Shirou's direction.
The reason was simple.
The entire room was a complete mess. Garbage piled up in the corners like a declaration of just how degenerate and lazy their lifestyles had become over the past few days.
Inside the transparent garbage bags were all kinds of takeout containers and packaging.
There was also a huge pile of boxes stacked nearby, filled to the brim with bottles of drinks and beer.
And it was obvious at a glance that all of this had only just been cleaned up.
At first, Shirou had not felt much from simply looking at it, but after seeing it properly with his own eyes, he felt as though he could practically smell the odor already.
He had only been away for seven days. Strictly speaking, it had only been five or six days.
And yet the dormitory had turned into this?
Had these people really become incapable of basic living without him taking care of them?
"Cough, cough! Well, we did clean up a little!"
Looking at the smile on Shirou's face, Croissant felt that she might still have a chance to survive this ordeal.
It was her first time seeing Shirou make that kind of expression. How was he managing to smile while his eyes radiated pure killing intent?
Still, she really was telling the truth. They had originally thought Shirou would only return tomorrow, but Texas had suddenly received a message from Lappland earlier.
At first, they had only felt angry because Shirou had somehow managed to make even more enemies for them while away from home.
But after reading further, they realized that Shirou had actually learned to play dirty and had even started bribing people!
Initially, they had planned to fiercely condemn him. They had even already discussed how to deal with him afterward.
Then Exusiai stepped on an empty beer bottle lying on the floor and slipped again, and only then did the group realize that the dormitory living room seemed to be just a little messy.
Actually, not just the living room.
The entire dormitory was catastrophically messy.
The four of them hurriedly split up the work and cleaned as fast as possible, barely managing to pile everything into a corner before Shirou returned. If they had just a little more time, they definitely would have moved all the garbage upstairs first.
Unfortunately, reality did not allow that.
So they could only turn off the lights and attempt to suppress Shirou first by controlling the atmosphere.
The plan failed the moment it began.
"Ahhh! I forgot Shirou's eyes are basically a bug!"
At that moment, Exusiai was sitting against the wall in the living room, crying out in despair.
Still, she was not alone. The other three were sitting on the floor beside her as companions in suffering.
Standing before them, Shirou wore a mask projected through magic that covered his mouth and nose while he stared at them with completely emotionless eyes.
The living room was already terrible, but the kitchen was even worse.
The moment Shirou opened the kitchen door and saw the disaster inside, he froze.
It was fortunate that he had not eaten dinner yet. Otherwise, he probably would have vomited before eating another meal.
No, actually, he might have lost his appetite entirely.
Shirou did not even dare imagine how they had managed to turn the kitchen into that state.
"I only went away for a few days. How did you even manage to turn the house into this?"
Looking at the four sitting obediently in a row before him, none of whom dared meet his gaze, Shirou asked helplessly.
He had been somewhat mentally prepared before returning.
But this had already surpassed shock and entered the realm of horror.
Exusiai and Croissant were one thing, but how had even Sora and Texas fallen this far?
They normally helped clean up, at the very least!
They had definitely been led astray!
"..."
Faced with Shirou's deadly stare, none of the four dared look him in the eye. If Exusiai could control it, she truly wanted to turn off the halo above her head.
After all, Shirou had glanced at the halo above her head earlier, then looked at the ceiling afterward. His thoughts were already painfully obvious.
Meanwhile, Sora and Texas also looked extremely uneasy, cold sweat forming on their faces.
Because this kind of situation…
When the adult of the household leaves and a group of children are left at home alone, it is normal for the children to start causing chaos, right?
They had simply gotten carried away.
Normally, whenever Shirou was around, everything was arranged clearly and properly.
Although Shirou never forced them to follow his schedule, compared to the takeout food outside that they had already grown sick of, they were far more interested in Shirou's cooking.
So naturally, they had gradually adapted themselves to Shirou's routines: eating three proper meals a day, having afternoon tea on schedule, and even needing to ask Shirou for permission before going to parties with the Boss so that he would not end up cooking meals only for them not to come home.
Wasting food was bad behavior, after all.
After several months, not only Sora and Texas, but even Croissant and Exusiai were starting to show signs of being reformed.
Then, without warning, Shirou suddenly took a long leave and ran off by himself, claiming he wanted a short vacation and needed to undergo a physical examination.
In reality, he was obviously trying to avoid facing the incident where he nearly wiped out the entire Lungmen Guard Department with the suction-cup arrow.
They had originally planned to take time off and accompany him to Rhodes Island together, but Shirou's sudden move completely ruined all of their plans.
And once Penguin Logistics accepted a job, they could not simply back out. Doing so would damage Penguin Logistics' reputation, and the Boss would definitely dock their pay afterward.
Shirou, meanwhile, had gone through all the proper procedures and taken legitimate leave, so he had no such problem.
But if they dared skip work, they would be in serious trouble.
Thus, with nobody at home to supervise them and with lingering resentment toward Shirou's actions, they had completely trashed the dormitory over the past few days.
The living room had at least been cleaned in time.
The kitchen, however, had been impossible to salvage before Shirou returned.
Not to mention the rest of the dormitory.
At the very least, they still had enough sanity left not to destroy Shirou's room too. Otherwise, Shirou would probably already be holding a knife while settling accounts with them.
"In any case, go clean everything up first. We can discuss everything else afterward."
Seeing the group remain silent, Shirou ultimately could only sigh and order them to clean the dormitory first.
Whoever made the mess would clean it themselves. Shirou refused to compromise on that point.
At least this time, Shirou was absolutely not going to help them.
They needed to learn their lesson properly.
"Understood!"
The moment they received permission to leave, the four immediately jumped to their feet. Then they pulled cleaning tools out from beneath the sofa and quickly divided the work among themselves before rushing off to clean.
"..."
When Shirou saw them taking tools out from under the sofa, the corner of his mouth twitched slightly beneath the mask.
These people had hidden everything quite carefully just to avoid exposing any clues to him.
Still, it bought Shirou a bit of time to think about how he should deal with them afterward. Fortunately, he had managed to overwhelm them with sheer pressure earlier, so they had not immediately cornered him to question him about everything.
As for Lappland, Shirou planned to find time later to have a very thorough conversation with her.
A transaction?
She had not handled things properly at all. In fact, she had made everything even worse. Shirou absolutely refused to acknowledge this deal.
If he encountered Lappland again, he would definitely tie her up and hang her outside the Fuyuki shop before chopping onions underneath her.
Holding onto that rather malicious thought, Shirou carried all of his belongings into his room first.
Looking at the messy state of his bed, Shirou realized that even his room had been ravaged, though fortunately not nearly as badly as the rest of the dormitory.
At the very least, none of his projected items had been touched. Perhaps they deserved a little praise for that?
After changing the bedsheets and blanket covers, Shirou went to wash up.
By the time he finished, the others had mostly completed the cleaning outside. All the garbage had already been taken out. Compared to before, the place was perhaps sixty percent clean now.
Still, Shirou did not force them to restore everything perfectly. The fact that they had managed to salvage the place from what was essentially a disaster zone was already more than he could reasonably ask for.
"Report! The living room, kitchen, and changing room have all been cleaned! And the blanket covers you carried out earlier have already been put into the washing machine!"
Noticing Shirou walking out, Croissant immediately straightened her posture and held her mop upright while speaking to him with a serious expression.
"That is fine. Have you all eaten dinner yet?"
Looking at how miserable the group appeared, Shirou ultimately decided to let them off the hook.
At least they had not completely given up on everything. They still knew enough to clean up afterward.
In response to Shirou's question, the four shook their heads.
"Then go take a bath first. I will go… order takeout. What do you want to eat?"
Originally, Shirou had intended to say he would cook something himself, but after thinking about it, there were probably no ingredients left. And after remembering the horrifying state of the kitchen earlier, he truly did not dare step inside again tonight.
The kitchen problem could be left to tomorrow's Shirou!
Good luck, tomorrow's Shirou!
"Whatever you decide is fine, Shirou! We will eat anything!"
After leaving behind those words, all four of them rushed straight into the changing room.
Earlier, in order to clean the dormitory as quickly as possible, they had practically thrown themselves into the task with all their strength. Not only were they sweaty and sticky now, but the lingering smell of garbage clinging to them also made them feel awful.
Especially Texas. Even with a mask on, she could still clearly smell everything. It was making her miserable.
"...Alright."
Listening to the sounds of the group fooling around inside the changing room, Shirou accepted reality.
Without thinking for very long, Shirou directly ordered from the fried food shop they frequented most often.
Because it was Thursday, and there was a special discount event today.
Also, this room desperately needed something with a stronger smell to purify the air, even if it was only the smell of fried food.
At the very least, it smelled far better than whatever had been lingering here before. Texas would probably feel a little better afterward too.
Quite some time later, the group finally emerged from the changing room.
After washing up, their moods had clearly improved significantly. And the moment they smelled that familiar aroma, all four of them became even more energized.
Was there anything better than cola and fried food?
Of course there was.
Cola and fried food after hard labor. And in extra-large portions, no less!
In an instant, everyone completely forgot how terrifying Shirou's expression had been earlier. All they remembered now was how kind and gentle Shirou looked while calling them over to eat.
Long live Mama Emiya!