In a land far, far away…
There lived a king.
Not just any king.
A hero king.
Vanquisher of evil.
Slayer of monsters.
Lover of women.
He was none other than the mighty—
Kirian Zennon.
His castle was built of gold, diamonds, and pure swagger. His throne sat atop a glowing hill, bathed in eternal sunset. Around him stood his harem of one hundred beautiful wives—each one somehow resembling a magical idol.
"I'm off," the king declared, shirt unbuttoned and glittering with heroic sparkles. "The fairest maiden in the land is in danger!"
There was no time to waste.
He mounted his noble steed—who, incidentally, had cheekbones sculpted by artisan angels—and galloped across deserts, stormy seas, and at least one floating island made entirely of cheese.
At last, the dragon's lair.
The beast towered before him. Scales black as night. Fangs like swords. Eyes burning ruby red.
"You foul beast!" Kirian shouted. "I, Kirian Zennon, shall vanquish thee!"
He drew his mighty blade—Excalibur!—and charged.
CLANG!
CRASH!
SMASH!
Steel flashed. Smoke rose. Dramatic poses were struck.
Kirian emerged victorious.
His hair looked amazing.
He turned to the rescued maiden—long shimmering hair, star-filled eyes, eternal gratitude written across her face.
"Let us seal this rescue with a kiss," he said, puckering up.
Then—
"GGGKKHHKKHHH!!"
Her arms snapped around his neck.
"I—I can't—breathe!" Kirian wheezed.
And then he woke up.
Still couldn't breathe.
Liliana had latched onto him in her sleep like a baby octopus, arms locked tight around his neck. Her face was peaceful.
His was… blue.
With great effort, he wriggled free—only to be immediately kicked off the bed. He hit the floor with a yelp.
Liliana rolled over and continued sleeping.
Peaceful.
Dreaming.
Probably of cake.
Meanwhile… inside a much sweeter world…
The sky rained sprinkles.
Rivers flowed with soda pop.
Clouds were made of cotton candy.
Unicorns roamed freely, eating rainbows and pooping butterflies.
At the center of it all sat Liliana Zennon—wearing a candy crown, surrounded by talking cookies, locked in a biscuit-eating contest with a GIANT teddy bear.
"Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!"
The bear growled, crumbs flying everywhere—but Liliana showed no fear. Her cheeks puffed like marshmallows, eyes blazing with sugar-powered resolve.
The candyland narrator cried out,
"She's tiny, but she eats like a dragon! How does she do it?!"
At last, the teddy bear collapsed.
"The winner is… Lilianaaaa!"
"Woooohooo!" she cheered, hugging her opponent. "Thanks, Teddy!"
Except…
It wasn't Teddy.
In the real world, it was Kirian.
Still half-asleep.
Still being smothered.
Elsewhere… in a realm of high stakes and dim lighting…
Silence hung heavy.
A single light hovered over a massive poker table. Four players. Four hands. One dream.
Three faceless figures.
And one smug elf.
"Player one," a voice growled. "I fold."
"Player two. All in."
"Player three. All in."
Emilia Alfeihn leaned back with flair.
"Well then," she said, slamming her cards down. "I'm ALL IN TOO. ROYAL FLUSH, BABY!"
Coins and chips exploded across the table.
"Yes! I'm unstoppable! Queen of the table! Bring it in, losers!"
She danced, clutching her winnings like treasured children.
Then… a shadow fell.
The casino owner stepped forward, slow-clapping.
"Well done, Emilia. You've won."
She grinned. "Obviously."
"Now," he continued, "about your debts."
Her smile twitched.
"…Debts?"
Enforcers emerged from the darkness.
"No—no no no WAIT—those are my coins!"
The table was swept clean. Emilia dove, clutching a single coin from the floor.
"At least… I still have you."
SQUEAK!
A rat snatched it from her hand and vanished into the walls.
Emilia froze.
Then turned to stone.
And so, morning came.
Some awoke with dreams of victory.
Others with bruised egos.
Missing coins.
Or a foot to the face.
Either way, the day had begun.
And adventure?
It was always just around the corner.