Chapter 69: Kaguya: We Are the Champions!
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Shameimaru Aya carried Reimu's plain bowl of tea-over-rice toward the judges' platform. Suddenly, a massive "BOOM!" explosion rang out from behind her. A dented, pitted iron shell fell from the sky and landed perfectly on the porcelain bowl in her hand, knocking it over.
Clang!
"Ah…"
Reimu, who had been looking relaxed until now, twitched at the corner of her eye. The next second, veins bulged on her forehead as she exploded in rage and charged at Marisa, whose hair had been blown into an explosive afro by her own Magic Automatic Stir-Fry Machine. She delivered a heartfelt "friendship-breaking face punch" straight to Marisa's face.
"You bastard!!! You knocked over my precious dish worth 100,000 yen that could have won me the championship! How are you going to compensate me?!"
Marisa didn't back down at all. She countered with an uppercut that sent Reimu flying, then rubbed her aching left cheek and shot back, "Stop putting gold on your own face! The tea leaves were the 100-yen tea cakes I gave you, and the water was just from the river near the Animal Path!"
"You're lying!"
"I'm not!"
When words failed, the two of them rolled up their sleeves and started brawling without caring about the Cooking King Championship anymore — punching, pulling hair, and yanking braids.
Not only were the spectators cheering, but even Shameimaru Aya — who was supposed to be maintaining order as the host — abandoned her duties and began commentating on their fight.
"Contestant Reimu with a beautiful German suplex! Can Contestant Marisa, who took such a heavy hit, still stand…? Ohhh! She's standing! She's standing!! She grabbed Mystia's leg and threw her whole body as a projectile!"
"Contestant Mystia collides with a cooking station and faints, losing her qualification!"
The fierce and chaotic scene made Shinjou Akane and the others break out in a cold sweat for their plan. Lili complained, "They haven't even drunk any alcohol, yet they're causing more trouble than drunk adventurers. Is this what Gensokyo is like?"
"Kihara said youkai love excitement and fun, so their behavior can be quite unexpected… Now I understand."
Turning a cooking competition into a boxing ring was something unthinkable anywhere else, but this was Gensokyo — anything was possible.
"I didn't expect it to come down to just me and Kaguya. But that shut-in probably can't make anything decent anyway…"
If it weren't for the countless cases of people celebrating victory too early only to crash and burn, Kihara would have wanted to outright trash-talk Kaguya. He took a deep breath to clear his mind and continued preparing his ingredients.
Two hours wasn't long, but it wasn't short either. Elaborate dishes were out of the question, so he settled for relatively simple dishes using high-quality ingredients from Pelican Town.
Pan-fried flatbread, grilled Stonefish, and crucian carp soup — these were the dishes he made. Considering Yuyuko was one of the judges, he made the portions as large as possible.
Golden Star-grade flour and Iridium Star-grade fish produced an aroma that made mouths water. The audience seats were filled with the sound of people swallowing saliva.
Even Shameimaru Aya, who had been passionately commentating the fistfight, was drawn in by the tempting scent. She followed the aroma to Kihara's station. Yukari took the opportunity to send the bruised and swollen Reimu and Marisa out of the competition area with her gaps.
"Contestant Kihara, this fish soup of yours… just the smell is already so fresh and delicious!"
"After all, these are top-tier ingredients from Pelican Town."
"Can I buy some?"
"The yield of Pelican Town ingredients isn't enough for external sales yet. Once the town develops further, I'll consider selling outside."
"You're making me want to come help speed up Pelican Town's development… Ahem, back to the topic. I see your dishes are almost ready. Could I…"
Before Shameimaru Aya could finish, Yukari's gap immediately snatched the three dishes from the station. She looked back at the judges' platform with resentment. "Can't the host even have a little taste?"
"I don't mind, but Yuyuko hasn't eaten for a long time. If she sees you eating… I can't guarantee what will happen."
Looking at Yuyuko, whose drool was flowing like a waterfall and whose pupils were glowing green, Shameimaru Aya immediately shut her mouth. She didn't want to end up like Youmu and get bitten until she passed out from pain.
Because the three dishes had generous portions, each judge received enough to fill an adult's stomach. Even Remilia, with her small bird-like appetite, finished everything cleanly.
"Wow! All three judges have cleaned their plates. Please give your scores for Contestant Kihara's dishes!"
Yukari raised the scorecard beside her. "The best ingredients often only need the simplest cooking methods. 9 points."
"9 points. The Scarlet Devil Mansion will designate Pelican Town as our number one ingredient supplier."
"9 points. Large portion and delicious!"
"Three 9s! Contestant Kihara's total score is 27 points! Though from the aroma alone, we could already tell the score wouldn't be low."
After announcing the result, Shameimaru Aya was about to declare Kihara the champion when she caught sight of Kaguya still playing on her phone. Only then did she remember there was still one contestant left. She swallowed the congratulatory words that had been on the tip of her tongue. "Now only Contestant Kaguya remains on the field. Um… you still haven't started cooking? There are only ten minutes left until the end of the competition. Are you really here to compete?"
Kaguya sneered coldly. "Hmph! Foolish humans!"
"I'm a crow tengu, not a human."
"..." Choked by the response, Kaguya jumped up from her deck chair, bent down, and pulled out a round packaged object from the cardboard box beside her that looked very familiar to Kihara.
"Holy shit!? You shut-in, where did you get so many cups of instant noodles?"
"Of course it's a secret!"
Kaguya didn't even turn her head as she spoke. With practiced movements, she tore open the packaging, ripped open the seasoning packet, and poured it into the cup. Then she added hot water.
One cup clearly wasn't enough for three judges. Her figure blurred for an instant, and suddenly every empty cooking station was filled with over a hundred steaming cups of instant noodles.
"Kihara, this is my trump card — the King of Instant Noodles!!!"
"You don't seriously think this can beat me, do you?"
"We'll see. Three minutes are up. Aya, hurry and deliver the noodles to the judges."
"Oh… this strange food smells pretty good…"
Her casual remark caused Kihara's face to change drastically. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. Instant noodles were indeed ordinary food to him, but for the youkai of Gensokyo, this was their first time seeing it.
Varied flavors, large portions, and almost no time required to prepare — in a sense, it was a dimensional downgrade strike against his dishes.
"I really like this tomato and egg flavor. 9 points."
"Hmm… The preparation steps aren't complicated, and you can eat it immediately when hungry. The convenience is excellent. 9 points."
"Delicious. Large portion. 10 points."
Kihara helplessly tilted his head back and sighed. "In the Cooking King Championship, I encountered an industrial crystallization. Large portion and filling, strong as a monster. Even giving my all, I couldn't win."
"Contestant Kaguya has completed a shocking comeback! Total score: 28 points!! I hereby declare the champion of the First Gensokyo Cooking King Championship is — from Eientei, Houraisan Kaguya!!!"
"Yay!! Akane, we are the champions!!"
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Thank you for reading.