Chapter 31: Why Is the Breastplate Like That.
...
Hestia's proclamation at the Hostess of Fertility had the immediate effect of confirming Chloe's unusual hobby as established fact across Orario's adventuring community, and the secondary effect of saddling Hestia herself with the informal title Guardian of the Posterior for a period of time that she found deeply unreasonable. The only silver lining was that she rarely left the Familia's home base, which meant she could simply wait for the whole thing to die down. Afterward, Kihara added a single new clause to the Familia's internal regulations: Hestia is not permitted to drink alcohol in public.
"Lady Hestia, the Lucky Pervert Development Ability doesn't seem to have activated at any point. Do we actually need to keep adding conditions to the screening system?"
"Hmm... it's a passive ability. Could there be a specific trigger?"
"What if we just — the two of us — worked together to make Lord Kihara so completely focused on us that other women simply stopped registering?"
"That sounds like something only Freya would actually do..."
Lili was marshalling additional arguments for the two slices of bread around one piece of cheese strategy when the front door opened.
"I'm home."
"Lord Kihara—!"
"Kihara-kun!"
Hestia's chest connected with Lili's face at a velocity that left the smaller woman briefly unable to establish which direction was up, and bare feet carried Hestia to the entryway in first place.
She arrived, looked at the figure standing behind Kihara, and her smile froze with the quality of something struck by unexpected winter.
"Lady Hestia, that was completely underhanded — using your chest as a battering ram—"
Lili came running out of the living room mid-complaint, registered the golden-haired figure in the entryway, and screamed.
"THE SWORD PRINCESS—"
Aiz's brow furrowed slightly. Her gold eyes filled with what appeared to be genuine confusion. She turned to Kihara.
"Am I frightening?"
"Not frightening, exactly. They're just surprised you came back with me."
Before he could explain further, Hestia's voice rose to operational volume.
"Lili-kun — I'll form the head!"
"Yes, Lady Hestia!"
From Aiz's perspective, what happened next required a moment to process. The shorter of the two women — the one with the chest that would constitute a genuine combat liability at close quarters — pressed Kihara's face into the relevant area with both hands. Simultaneously, the other one transformed into a silver-haired wolf girl, wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, and locked her legs around his thighs. Both of them glared at Aiz from their respective positions.
A brief pause in Aiz's cognition.
"Is this some form of punishment you're applying to Kihara?"
Hestia produced a sound at a frequency that suggested a cat whose tail had been stood on. "You just called him by his name — you terrible sneaky person, who gave you permission to be that familiar—"
Aiz found the wall of suspicion genuinely puzzling. She was talking to someone at Loki's level. She maintained patience.
"Isn't that how friends address each other?"
Lili was already preparing strategic advice when Kihara settled the matter himself. One hand found each of them at the waist and delivered a targeted tickle. Both women produced sounds that had no business being public, flushed scarlet, reflexively released their grip to catch the offending hand, and found themselves tucked under his arms getting their hair patted before they'd fully processed the transition.
"Enough, both of you. No one's being replaced. Aiz is here about dungeon exploration."
"Lord Kihara, are you abandoning Lili to go party up with this expressionless Sword Princess?!"
Perfect. Work with this — get Sword-whatever out of here.
Hestia gave Lili an approving look.
"I didn't say that. Don't invent problems."
He blew gently into Lili's wolf ear. She yelped and clapped both hands over the offended appendage, and he took the opening to continue.
"Aiz has been pushing her parameters toward their limit. She saw I'd hit Level 3 recently and thought a joint expedition might be mutually useful."
"The Loki Familia has plenty of high-level adventurers. Bert, and the Hiryute sisters—"
Aiz answered the implied question directly.
"They have existing commitments. And Vice-Captain Riveria asked me to come. The Denatus incident — Loki disrupting the vote and affecting Kihara's—"
"Mister Kihara, please add Mister—"
"...affecting Mr. Kihara's title. The Vice-Captain felt the Loki Familia owed some form of apology, and a joint expedition was the suggested form."
"You're doing this on purpose to annoy me."
Lili, who had less emotional investment in the territorial question than in the financial one, had been running numbers. She was now the Familia's acting treasurer as well as its tactical adviser. A Level 5 adventurer joining their dungeon runs meant substantially better drop rates, faster floor clearing, and a material improvement in income. Aiz also meant a built-in monitoring capability for anyone concerned about Kihara's interactions with her.
She laid this out for Hestia in concise terms.
Hestia conceded, with visible reluctance.
"Sword-whatever — you are not to engage in any behaviour toward Kihara-kun that could be described as inappropriate. Lili will be watching your every move and filing a full report upon return."
"The person that speech should probably be directed at is me," Kihara observed.
"Are you saying you have designs on Sword-whatever?"
Hestia's expression immediately became dangerous.
"In complete honesty — I have a specific interest in her breastplate."
"Her breastplate?"
Both Hestia and Lili turned to look. They looked for a moment. Their expressions became difficult to categorise. Lili, with considerable delicacy, addressed the subject.
"Miss Sword Princess — is the design of that breastplate a personal preference?"
"No. Is there something strange about it?"
The three of them were struggling to explain how to characterise a right-side chest guard that featured a gap along the lower panel — specifically sized, in Lili's assessment, to accommodate an adult hand — which bore a strong resemblance to certain items she had observed in the black market, marketed under a different category entirely.
Aiz, reading the silence, provided additional context.
"Loki specified the design to the smith. I kept using it because it's lighter than the alternatives."
Removing a structural piece of metal and replacing it with a gap did tend to reduce the overall weight. This was technically accurate.
That explains why people say she's hard to talk to, Lili thought. Her reasoning is perfectly internally consistent and completely removed from how anyone else thinks.
.....
Thank you for reading.