Chapter 26: The Title is L*li Knight?
...
The topmost floor of Orario's great white tower. The Denatus convened on schedule.
Gods filled the circular chamber, assembled to deliberate on the individual who had become the most talked-about figure in divine circles this week — the adventurer who had defeated the Level 4 floor boss Goliath on the seventeenth floor as a Level 1, then advanced directly to Level 3 in a single bound. The adventurer named Kihara.
With only one title to discuss, the chairwoman Freya moved straight to business.
"The title submitted by Hestia on behalf of her Familia member is Hero of Light. The floor is open for commentary and alternative proposals."
The objections came immediately and from multiple directions.
The assembled gods had strong feelings about fairness. Their own Familia members had endured titles like Crimson Explosion-Head and Muscle Idiot — and now the newest arrival to Orario was being put forward for something that sounded genuinely respectable? The principle of the thing demanded intervention.
"I don't think a newcomer has earned Hero yet. What about Newcomer of Light? It acknowledges his advancement speed without overpromising."
"I heard he spends money like he's breathing. Adventurer of Inexplicable Wealth — self-explanatory."
Hestia's expression deteriorated with each proposal. Every single one of these gods was terrible. They all wanted to hang something embarrassing around her Kihara's neck for their own amusement.
She put her hands on her hips. "What has he ever done to any of you? Why are you all so determined to give him a ridiculous title?"
"Calm down, shorty. It's just a title."
The voice came from exactly the direction she expected. Loki sauntered over with the smile of someone who had arrived specifically to make things worse.
"Loki. I am warning you. Don't start something."
"My my~ New clothes, new attitude — what happened to the little goddess who couldn't afford lunch? Now you're handing out warnings?"
"I didn't threaten you. I stated a consequence. If your eyes have been squinted shut so long you can't tell the difference, that's a medical issue, not my problem."
The surrounding gods stopped their side conversations. There was something genuinely entertaining happening up here.
Loki's eyebrow went up. Hestia's verbal capabilities had developed considerably since the last Denatus. She filed this away and returned to the business of causing problems.
"Titles are meant to reflect an adventurer's record and character. Hero of Light doesn't match anything about him. Where exactly does the hero come from?"
A flicker of uncertainty crossed Hestia's face, quickly suppressed. "A hero is someone who accomplishes what should be impossible. He killed a Level 4 floor boss as a Level 1. If that doesn't qualify, what does?"
"That's one data point, not a pattern. Not remotely close to hero." Loki let the pause sit, then pivoted. "I also hear you've developed personal feelings for this Kihara."
"Yes. So?"
Hestia wasn't going to be embarrassed about this. She wanted every female entity in Orario to have this information, so they could adjust their behaviour accordingly. She raised her chin with full confidence.
"We're in a confirmed relationship."
There it is.
Loki's smile became the smile of someone whose trap has just closed.
"That gives me an idea for a much more fitting title. How about Knight of the Loli Goddess? You only have two people in your Familia — he must spend every day orbiting around you."
"You flat-chested, ironboard, couldn't-fill-a-thimble—"
The specific phrasing snapped the last functional thread of Loki's composure.
"DAIRY COW—"
"Washboard! Steel plate! Topographically challenged—!"
"AAAAAGH—"
They put their foreheads together and began pushing. Freya observed this with the patience of someone who had seen it many times, sighed, and decided to conduct the vote around them.
She had noticed Kihara herself, of course. The soul light she'd seen in him was buried under an impenetrable layer of shadow. Nothing about it interested her. She had standards.
"Discussion concluded. Voting is now open. Let's finish quickly — I'd like to get home and bathe."
The final count was decisive. Knight of the Loli Goddess took the majority by a comfortable margin, aided considerably by every god who had ever watched their own Familia member receive an undignified title and felt the vote was an opportunity for cosmic balance.
Hestia saw Loki's triumphant smile and delivered a straight right to her left eye with the commitment of someone who had made peace with the consequences. Then she gathered her skirts and left the chamber at a pace that communicated her feelings about everyone present.
Back at the Loki Familia, Loki recounted her victory to Finn and Riveria with the energy of someone describing a great military campaign.
Riveria applied ointment to the bruising around her eye with gentle fingers and a heavy sigh. "Loki. Do you really dislike Kihara that much? He's the contingency we identified for Aiz — this sort of antagonism isn't helpful."
"It's not that I dislike him—" Loki clicked her tongue "—it's that Aiz is apparently going to go out of her way to spend time with him, and she has never once done that for me. Not once. In all my years as her chief deity."
"Loki, Kihara is actually several years older than Aiz."
"He's going after someone younger?! The NERVE—"
Loki forgot entirely about the ointment and launched herself off the sofa toward the door with clear hostile intent, made it approximately two steps, and was pressed firmly back down by Riveria's hand. The gaze that accompanied it had genuine weight behind it.
"Sit. Down. Aiz has been going into the dungeon more frequently. Kihara and his connection to the spirit races is an important stabilising factor. Do not interfere."
"I... was just going to my room. To drink. In private. To process my feelings."
She looked away with the specific sheepishness of someone who has been completely seen through.
Then, at barely audible volume: "Riveria-mama really does worry too much. I know how to read a situation."
The gentle fingers applying ointment stopped moving.
Finn, who had been sitting in a chair with the absolute stillness of a man who had done nothing wrong and intended to keep it that way, stood up with quiet urgency.
"Training. I have training. Goodbye."
He was gone before the temperature in the room finished dropping.
Riveria was an elf. Elves were long-lived. Riveria was, on the subject of her own age, a person of strong feelings. Being called mama landed in approximately the same register as a formal accusation.
The gentle hand became a set of fingers locked around the top of Loki's skull with structural precision.
The killing intent that radiated outward was the specific variety that didn't announce itself — it simply arrived, cold and close, like something wet breathing on the back of your neck.
"K-k-k-k-k—" Loki's teeth were making contact at high frequency. She produced a smile that had no business being called a smile. "I'm... a good child. Hitting people is... wrong."
"I don't hit people," Riveria said, her eyes carrying no light whatsoever. "I use magic."
"Please don't — AH — AAAAAAAAAGH—"
The shriek that rose above the Loki Familia's compound carried far enough to reach the training ground, where Finn stood at the edge of the yard, bowed his head briefly, and made a small gesture of farewell.
Loki. I'll finish your wine collection in your memory. Rest well.
At approximately the same moment, Hestia had just finished telling Kihara his new official title.
.....
Thank you for reading.