Pepsi-Man's P.O.V.
Holding the hand of your love when you lack nerve endings is a very specific kind of agony.
I stood at the edge of the crater, my silver fingers wrapped around Mary's hand. There was no pulse or warmth. Just the cold, dead friction of a metallic alloy pressing against human skin. My mind, desperate for comfort, hallucinated her body heat.
It had been a hell of a day.
Few months ago, I was a corporate punchline. A prisoner permanently welded inside a silver cage, choking on silence while handing out sugar water in war zones. A faceless cog bound to the whims of a beverage company.
Now, I was standing under a rebuilt sky, holding hands with a superhuman mother of two, watching Master John rewrite the cosmic landscape with a dragon the size of a planet.
The mental whiplash left me feeling hollowed out.
Just this morning I had ridden shotgun across the multiverse with Master and saw him do one absurd thing after another. I watched him kill the literal concept of hunger just by bouncing its own attack back at it. I stood there while he rage-baited that brooding Bat-hero from the world of heroes. We jumped through dozens of worlds doing exactly that kind of thing.
And then came the drop back on Earth.
The memory was still fresh, burned into my mind. The metallic tang of blood in the air and the sight of my first true friend, Sir Sebas, lying in the dirt as a mangled, half-eaten torso.
I remembered the suffocating weight of the cursed energy when I used Master's knighting chain. I remembered the sickening sound of my own metallic ribs buckling and snapping as I forcibly fused my shell with the Divine General Mahoraga. I turned myself into a cursed abomination just so I could physically cave Battle Beast's skull in. I finally remembered the wet crunch of the Sword of Extermination driving through his brain, painting the crater in red ash.
I took my revenge for Sir Sebas, harvested the drop of blood, and clocked right back in to work.
I limped back to the States to fight an alien armada alongside Mary. Truth be told, she did the actual fighting. Powered by that Super-Cola, she flew through the sky like a comet, punching Viltrumite warships out of the atmosphere like they were made of wet cardboard. And I…I was happy playing ground control.
All this was deeply surreal.
I never thought the terrified woman and her two kids I saved in a dingy Chicago alleyway would become the center of my universe.
Mary was the only blessing in this accursed existence. She stuck by me despite the featureless steel plate covering my face. She went on dates with a man who could only physically vocalize a trademarked brand.
And here I was, who couldn't even tell her she looked beautiful or ask about her day.
But she understood me anyway. She read the subtle tilts of my heavy head, the gentle way I tried to hold her hand, and saw the drowning man buried beneath the metal.
And her kids, Sam and Dean? They were rays of sunshine in a dark, bloody world of aliens and monsters. It took time for them to warm up to a towering mascot who only spoke his own brand name, but they eventually did.
Their over-the-top pranks endeared them to me. They treated me like a normal guy. They didn't care about my terrifying exterior or be affected by my 'Nice Guy' trait. To them, I was just the shiny guy who brought their mom home safely and always had a cold drink ready.
I was happy. Against all odds, the bleeding hole in my chest felt patched.
I had accepted that I was going to live out the rest of my days as a mute, silver freak because the people who mattered most didn't care about the shell. I made my peace with the prison and couldn't ask for anything more.
Or so I thought.
"I'm good," Master John said, pulling me abruptly out of my thoughts.
He casually stuffed his hands into his pockets. The infinitly crushing gravity of his aura was fully suppressed beneath his skin. He looked like just another tired kid who wanted to go home.
"The rightful recipient of the third wish is standing right there."
Master raised his finger and pointed directly at my silver chest.
The ambient, humming gravity of Shenron's presence faded into white noise as the world came to a halt.
I froze.
I slowly raised a trembling, metallic finger and pointed it at myself.
"Pepsi?" I rasped. My voice glitched, releasing a harsh burst of static.
I looked up at the golden dragon blotting out the sky, looked at Mary, who was staring at John with wide, shocked eyes. Then I looked back at Master.
"It's true, Pepsi-Man," Master smiled. His eyes were warm, devoid of the crushing exhaustion that usually haunted them. "I don't need the wish. I've got everything I need. And honestly? I can't think of anyone more deserving of it than you."
A cold spike of dread drove itself directly into my chest.
My self-doubt flared up like an infected wound.
I was just a gag summon! A Bronze-tier mistake! A walking vending machine who had accidentally stumbled his way into a pantheon of gods and monsters. I was a copyright-infringing liability.
Taking the ultimate reward from a cosmic deity felt like theft.
"Pepsi!" I shouted frantically.
I shook my heavy head, waving my hands, and pointed desperately at the rest of my found family. They were the heavy hitters. They were the ones who actually mattered.
I pointed at Sebas, my old friend.
The Butler elegantly adjusted his torn coat, now soaked in dried purple blood. His hands were slightly trembling from what I can only guess his own failures, but his posture remained flawless.
"I must decline, my friend," Sebas said softly bowing his head in deep shame. "My weakness necessitated your sacrifice. I am the catalyst that ignited this brutal war with both Alien factions. I am entirely unworthy of such an honor. The wish belongs to you."
I frantically shook my head and pointed at Neel.
The corporate shark adjusted his tie.
"I am a simple businessman, Sir Pepsi," Neel smirked, waving the wish away like a bad stock tip. "Magical, reality-warping handouts aren't my style. It completely kills the grind as the CEO of Chaos Corp. It's all yours."
I spun around and pointed at Meruem.
The Ant King crossed his arms over his chest, scoffing proudly. His segmented tail swished behind him, cracking against the restored bedrock.
"A true King does not beg a glowing lizard for boons," Meruem declared. His violet eyes flashed with arrogant pride. "I am not petty enough to ask a god for what I can conquer with my own two hands. I will reach 'her' once again on my own merit. Take your prize, warrior."
I looked around the crater frantically. The cola running through my veins was burning me up from inside. My eyes landed on Jason.
"I mean, look, if nobody else wants it, I could totally use a—" Jason started, stepping forward with a greedy, opportunistic grin, rubbing his hands together.
WHAM.
Sebas, Neel, and Meruem moved in synchronized steps as all three of them simply lashed out and kicked the Greek hero directly in the testicles at the exact same time.
The wet, meaty impact echoed through the crater like a gunshot.
Jason's eyes bulged, nearly popping out of his skull. The color drained from his face. He let out a breathless, high-pitched squeak as his knees buckled, and he collapsed in a fetal postion into the dirt, groaning in visceral agony.
"As we were saying," Sebas added politely, delicately stepping over Jason's twitching, whimpering body. "The wish remains yours."
I took a nervous step back, my metallic joints locking up.
Nakime stepped forward.
The Demon Queen held the Holy Cow under one arm and gently cradled Ship in the other. Her beautiful pink eyes looked at me with deep empathy.
"I may be the first summon of the Master," Nakime said softly, her voice carrying a musical cadence over the gentle wind. "But Master has already found the answer to my prayers. He freed me from the sun. He gave us a home, a family. And you my friend you? You fought for us. You bled for us. Yet you remain trapped in the guilt of your own curse, punishing yourself for a mistake you made in a past life."
She offered a small, encouraging smile, nodding her head toward the woman beside me.
"It is time to break out, friend. If you cannot find the selfish desire to do it for yourself... then do it for Mary."
I slowly turned my head as soon as I heard my name.
Mary was standing a few feet away. She had reverted to her human form, her glowing white mane was replaced by her blonde ponytail.
She was trembling. Her hands were clasped tightly over her mouth, and tears freely streamed down her cheeks. She wasn't moving or uttering a single word.
I knew exactly why. She was terrified that if she spoke, I would take her advice as a burden or an obligation. She loved me as a monster, and she refused to make me feel like I wasn't enough for her exactly as I was.
But I could see it. I could see the desperate, agonizing hope shining in her green eyes.
[A/N]:
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