The familiar path leading to their hidden sanctuary felt foreign under Chang Hao's trembling legs. Each step required immense effort, his vision blurring at the edges as memories of happier times flooded his mind. The secluded gorge, usually a source of solace and intimacy, now mocked him with echoes of laughter that would never fill its quiet depths again.
Upon reaching the moss-covered stones where they'd shared countless secrets, his stomach convulsed violently. He barely managed to lean over before emptying its contents onto the ground below. The bitter taste of bile coated his tongue as he collapsed onto his knees, panting heavily.
"Damn you," he rasped to the empty air around him. "Damn you for making me do this." His voice broke on the last word, hands gripping handfuls of grass while tears streamed down his face uncontrollably.His cries echoed against the gorge walls, raw and broken sounds torn from deep within his chest. "You selfish bastard! How could you let it come to this? Execution? Your own fucking wife?"
Chang Hao slammed his fists against the earth repeatedly, oblivious to the pain radiating through his knuckles. "I'm a monster! A pathetic coward who lets his whore of an Empress manipulate him into murdering the one person who ever mattered!"
He clawed at his own face angrily, leaving red scratches across his cheeks. "Look at you! Look what you've become! You're killing her because you're too weak to admit your mistakes!"
His breathing became erratic hyperventilating as rage mixed with overwhelming grief. "Tomorrow... tomorrow I'll watch them hang my Bella. My beautiful Bella who trusted me completely."
Chang Hao's breakdown intensified, his body shaking violently as he struggled to process the magnitude of his actions. "She trusted me!" he screamed at the empty sky above. "
She believed every word I whispered in her ear, every promise I made under these stars! And I repay her by sending her to die!"
He clawed at his own chest, as if trying to physically rip out the organ that had failed him so completely. "My heart is blackening! Do you hear me? It's turning to stone because I decreed her execution!"
His voice cracked further, dissolving into desperate sobs that echoed through the ravine. "Come back here, Bella! Come back and curse me properly! Call me the spineless worm I am!"
The sun dipped lower, casting long shadows across the gorge as Chang Hao's sobs gradually subsided into ragged gasps. He lay sprawled on the damp moss, his formal robes soaked with tears and vomit, hair disheveled from running frustrated hands through it repeatedly.
"I betrayed her," he whispered hoarsely to the wind rustling through nearby trees. "I swore I'd always protect her, that she was safe with me... and now I'm sending her to die."
His fingers dug into the soft earth beside him, clutching at dirt as if trying to anchor himself against drowning in guilt. "She looked at me... right before they dragged her away... like I'd already killed her myself."
Chang Hao pushed himself upright weakly, leaning against a large rock for support. His face was swollen and reddened from crying, eyes bloodshot and unfocused as they stared blankly toward the river flowing silently ahead.
Slowly, not being able to take it, he walks towards the river like a zombie. Drown your pathetic self. You are not worthy of love. You betrayed the one who truly loved you. Murder , Backstabber . The dark loud voices inside his voice ate at him, directing his steps towards the river.
The river flowed calmly, its surface reflecting the dying light of dusk. Chang Hao's footsteps were slow and deliberate as he approached the water's edge, his body moving on autopilot. The voices in his head grew louder, more insistent.
"Jump, you coward," they hissed. "End it all now. You don't deserve to live after what you've done."
He reached the bank and stopped, staring at his reflection distorted in the rippling current. A ghostly image of Bella smiled back at him mockingly from the water.
"Murderer," she whispered from the depths. "Backstabber."
His hands trembled as he unfastened his robe, letting it fall to the ground behind him. Step by step, he waded into the cold embrace of the river, each splash echoing loudly in the quiet gorge.
The current tugged at his legs gently at first before growing stronger, pulling him deeper into its embrace.
The frigid water rushed into Chang Hao's lungs, extinguishing the desperate gasps for air. His vision blurred, but amidst the swirling currents, Bella's face materialized before him.
Not the defiant, angry Bella from the throne room, but the one he remembered from quieter moments - laughing as they chased butterflies through the gardens, curled up asleep in his arms after passionate nights.
Her phantom lips curved into a gentle smile. "You finally came to find me," she murmured, her voice echoing through the water surrounding them.
His body went limp as consciousness faded. The river embraced him completely now, pulling him deeper into its silent embrace. Above on shore, moonlight cast silver patterns across his discarded clothes and abandoned crown lying forgotten on the riverbank.
Then suddenly, in his unconscious state . A voice , sounding angelic called out to him. "Don't sleep now. There is much to do. Wake up and right your wrongs. " His eyes flung open, like the dead who got resurrected. He raises from the water and gasp for air.
A brilliant light exploded behind Chang Hao's eyelids, forcing them open with a jolt. Air surged back into his burning lungs as he surfaced violently, coughing and sputtering river water. His body convulsed on the rocky shore, muscles seizing from the sudden revival.
"What in the gods' names..." he choked out hoarsely, scrambling backward from the water's edge. His eyes darted wildly around the gorge, searching for any sign of the celestial voice that had pulled him from death's grasp. But he found none.
He felt a surge of resolve. After catching his breath. He got dressed and marched out of the gorge, back into the palace through secret passages with only thing in mind. To recall the Court.