"Bwahahahaha—!"
Opening the classroom door early that morning, Yoh Asakura was immediately stunned by the scene before him.
Inoue Orihime stood by the podium, her hands raised by her face like claws in what she clearly thought was a powerful pose. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was stretched open.
That "Bwahahahaha" had come from her—a full, booming laugh that echoed throughout the room, instantly drawing the attention of the entire class.
Yoh paused in his tracks.
"...Morning, Inoue."
He chose to ignore the spectacle and walked toward his seat with a deadpan expression.
"Eh!?" Inoue chased after him in a few quick steps, her expression switching from "Master Medium" to "Dejected Puppy."
"Don't you know about this, Asakura-kun? It's the most popular spirit medium show in the country right now!"
She blinked her eyes at him, filled with expectation.
'Asakura-kun is a Shaman, so he should be really interested in this kind of show, right?'
"I know it, I know it," Yoh replied without turning his head.
"That Don Kanonji guy, right?"
"Exactly!" Inoue's eyes lit up instantly.
"Not interested."
And the flame was extinguished.
Inoue's shoulders slumped, and she looked as if all the energy had been drained from her body.
"There, there."
An arm reached out from behind and hooked around Inoue's neck. Arisawa Tatsuki appeared out of nowhere, smiling as she spoke.
"If you want to play along, I'll do it with you. This guy isn't interested in TV shows."
She gestured toward Yoh with her chin as she spoke.
Yoh had already sat down, pulled a book from his bag, and put on his noise-canceling headphones, looking as if the rest of the world didn't exist.
The classroom was actually quite lively.
It wasn't just Inoue; several other students were mimicking that crossed-arm gesture. Some were even doing a decent impression, lowering their voices for dramatic effect and making those around them burst into laughter.
He remembered the promotional poster he had seen on the bulletin board this morning—that "Superstar" was coming to Karakura Town tonight to record his show. No wonder the whole school was talking about it.
'Don Kanonji, huh...'
Yoh sighed inwardly.
He remembered the character—a comedic figure from the original series who, while capable of seeing spirits, was pitifully weak.
However, the guy did have his moments of glory—like the time he attacked Aizen after he had merged with the Hogyoku, and Aizen didn't even dare to fight back. If Rangiku hadn't arrived in time, Ichigo and Kisuke Urahara might not have even been needed.
Of course, that was all just a joke.
'I'm definitely not going to tonight's show.'
Yoh swore to himself. If he ended up getting tangled with that mustachioed man like Ichigo did in the original story, it would be a huge pain. He had no desire to be treated as some "Master Medium's" apprentice and appear on TV every day.
"Why—!"
A blood-curdling scream erupted from another direction.
Yoh tilted his head and pulled off one side of his headphones. He saw Asano Keigo sprawled across Kurosaki Ichigo's desk, his face practically pressed against Ichigo's.
"Don't you understand?!" Keigo shouted, waving his hands so wildly that spit was flying everywhere.
"A nationwide superstar is coming to our town! This is a once-in-a-century opportunity! If you don't go, you might as well not be a resident of Karakura Town at all!"
He took a deep breath and announced in a judgmental tone:
"Starting tomorrow, your nickname will be 'The Guy Who Didn't Go'!"
Ichigo looked at him with a flat expression.
"I actually think that sounds a lot better than 'The Punk with the Aggressive Orange Hair'—"
Yoh interjected at just the right moment, a mischievous smirk on his face.
"Shut up," Ichigo glared at him. "What's the difference?"
"There's a huge difference!" Seeing that Ichigo was unmoved, Keigo immediately shifted targets and lunged toward Yoh's desk.
"Yoh! You tell Ichigo! He actually refuses to go to the recording with us tonight!"
He slammed his hands on the desk, and there were even exaggerated tears of frustration in his eyes.
"But I wasn't planning on going either."
Yoh's answer was light and airy.
"What—!?"
Keigo's face instantly crumbled. His legs went weak, and he dropped to his knees in front of Yoh's desk, looking as if he had been struck by lightning.
"By the way..." Yoh looked down at the student kneeling on the floor, his voice carrying a hint of sincere confusion.
"Are we really on a first-name basis already?"
The finishing blow.
A perfect finishing blow.
Keigo was completely petrified.
After several seconds, he looked up mechanically and asked in a trembling voice:
"You... you're joking, right? We always eat lunch together!"
His hands desperately gripped Yoh's pant leg as if grabbing a final lifeline.
"I suppose,"
Yoh thought about it seriously.
"But I only go because Ichigo invites me. At most, we're... friends of a friend?"
Keigo's lips quivered.
Then, he suddenly stood up, covered his face, and sprinted out of the classroom.
"Asakura Yoh, you jerk—!"
The long, drawn-out cry echoed through the hallway for a long time.
"Hey—Keigo, are you coming back for class?"
The homeroom teacher, who happened to be walking in, shouted at his retreating back. When there was no response, she didn't seem to care at all. She turned into the classroom and tossed the attendance book onto the podium.
"Well, with so many people cutting class anyway, one more won't hurt. Let's start morning study."
The students exchanged looks.
'Does it really not matter...'
Once again, everyone was shocked by their teacher's "don't-care" style of education.
...
When night fell—
On a temporarily constructed stage, a massive neon sign flashed the words: "Don Kanonji's Super Spirit Medium SHOW."
The area below was packed with enthusiastic spectators. Some held glow sticks, some wore T-shirts with Kanonji's face on them, and others had the iconic crossed-hand symbol painted on their faces.
In the crowd, several figures in school uniforms were particularly prominent.
"You two ended up coming after all!!"
Keigo pointed at the two people in front of him, his expression a mix of indignation at being lied to and a smug "I knew it."
Kojima Mizuiro stood beside him, hands on his hips with a "caught you" look.
Ichigo stared at them with a deadpan expression.
"Shut up, be quiet, or I'll kill you."
His voice was completely flat.
Standing beside him, Yoh lazily added:
"Keep making noise and I'll put an evil spirit in your house."
Keigo and Mizuiro both shivered simultaneously and instinctively took a step back.
"These two are terrifying..." Mizuiro whispered.
"One says he'll kill me, the other talks about evil spirits..." Keigo agreed.
The two looked at each other and suddenly held hands, acting like total drama queens as they began to whisper loudly with exaggerated sobs.
"Really, what is wrong with youth these days..."
"Exactly, and we were nice enough to invite them..."
Ichigo didn't bother with them, his eyes searching for something in the crowd.
He truly hated these kinds of shows involving ghosts.
He had to see those things every single day in real life, so who would want to watch them on TV too?
But he had no choice.
His dad and Yuzu were devoted fans of the show, and now—so was his mom.
Ever since Masaki Kurosaki had entered her Gigai, it was as if she were trying to make up for the six years she had lost, showing intense enthusiasm for everything new. This medium show was her latest obsession.
So tonight, Ichigo and Karin were forced to accompany them.
As for Yoh, his reason was similar. He had originally planned to spend the night playing a Souls-like game Yukio had recommended. Playing such games allowed him to have fun while also training his spiritual power—killing two birds with one stone.
However, he hadn't expected the five members of the Kurosaki family to show up at his house. Before he could even react, Isshin Kurosaki had hoisted him onto his shoulder and carried him here.
"Bwahahahaha—!"
A familiar laugh suddenly exploded from nearby.
Kuchiki Rukia appeared out of nowhere, wearing a brand-new outfit—specifically, a limited-edition T-shirt with Don Kanonji's face on it, with a miniature "Spirit Detector" hanging around her neck.
Her hands were crossed in the standard Kanonji pose, her face radiant with unprecedented enthusiasm.
"What is that outfit..." Ichigo's eye twitched.
"What do you think? Looks good, right?" Rukia spun around proudly.
"This is a limited edition! I stood in line for two hours to get it!"
'This girl...'
'She's surprisingly into this...'
Yoh couldn't help but comment inwardly at Rukia's excitement.
"Hey! Why are your expressions so serious!" Rukia leaned in and nudged Ichigo with her elbow.
"It's a rare live event, have some fun!"
"Shut up, I always look like this."
Ichigo looked away.
Just then, a hand suddenly grabbed the corner of Yoh's shirt from behind.
Before he could react, he was pulled into the shadows at the edge of the crowd.
"Tatsuki?"
Arisawa Tatsuki was crouching behind a takoyaki stall, making a "shh" gesture at him.
"Why are you here?" Yoh crouched down and asked in a low voice.
"I'm here with Orihime." Tatsuki gestured in another direction.
"Never mind that, look over there—"
She pointed toward a spot in the crowd.
Yoh followed her finger.
Isshin Kurosaki was standing by the barrier at the side of the stage, waving happily toward the stage. And standing beside him was a young woman with long hair wearing an elegant dress.
Kurosaki Masaki.
She seemed to have been swept up in the joyous atmosphere of the event, following the crowd's lead and raising her hand to wave gently.
Isshin leaned in to whisper something in her ear, and she turned her head, the two of them sharing a smile.
"That beautiful young woman standing next to Ichigo's dad," Tatsuki's voice whispered in Yoh's ear, sounding mysterious.
"What's her relationship with him? They seem pretty close..."
Her eyes darted back and forth between Isshin and Masaki, as if trying to discern something from their every movement.
"Could it be..."
"Could it be that that beautiful big sister is Kurosaki-kun's future mom?!"
An excited voice suddenly popped up between them.
Yoh jumped, and turning around, he saw that Inoue Orihime had crawled into their hidden corner at some point, her eyes shining as she stared at Masaki.
Furthermore, she had a pair of binoculars hanging around her neck.
Yoh watched the "flames of gossip" burning in the two girls' eyes, and his lip twitched.
How was he supposed to explain this?
Should he just tell them, "That's actually Ichigo's birth mother"?
That felt like it would only lead to a hundred more questions!
Just imagining those questions gave Yoh a headache.
'Sorry, Ichigo.'
He offered a silent apology to his childhood friend.
'You'll have to explain this to Tatsuki yourself when you get the chance...'
"Well, Uncle Isshin has indeed had it a bit rough these past few years..." he said vaguely.
"I suppose that's true." Tatsuki nodded thoughtfully, automatically interpreting his words as a hint.
"There are three kids in that family including Ichigo. It must be hard with just the dad."
She murmured softly, her tone carrying a hint of sympathy.
In reality, it wasn't quite like that—Yuzu Kurosaki handled all the housework. Laundry, cooking, cleaning—she was a pro at everything.
However, Isshin did have his own struggles, having to be both father and mother while playing the role of the "comedian" to keep his children happy.
"Yeah, yeah," Inoue agreed from the side, her binoculars still firmly locked on the target.
"And look, that sister... she looks a lot like Ichigo's mom, doesn't she?" Yoh added, trying to bring the topic to a quick close.
"*Gasp!*"
Tatsuki sucked in a breath.
She looked at Masaki's face again.
She hadn't noticed before, but looking closely now—
Those eyes, that hair color, and especially that smile...
"Now that you mention it..."
She murmured, her gaze becoming profound.
The two girls looked at each other, simultaneously falling into an intense brainstorming session.
Yoh silently took a step back.
The lights on the stage suddenly dimmed.
Exciting music blared, and a deep male voice echoed through the speakers across the venue:
"Ladies and gentlemen—! Let us give our warmest round of applause to the greatest spirit medium in history—Don Kanonji—!"
The lights flared back to life, and a spotlight hit the center of the stage.
A man wearing a golden robe and oversized sunglasses descended from above, landing firmly on the stage. He spread his arms wide, striking an extremely confident pose.
"Bwahahahaha—!"
The entire crowd erupted.
Yoh looked at the fans waving their arms wildly, then at the two girls still immersed in their gossip, and finally toward the Kurosaki family in the crowd.
Isshin was clapping vigorously, laughing like a child, while Masaki stood beside him with a gentle light in her eyes. Yuzu was jumping up and down excitedly, and while Karin kept a stoic face, the corners of her mouth were turned up slightly.
As for Ichigo—
He stood at the edge of the crowd, looking at the man performing on stage with a look of pure disdain. But his gaze would occasionally drift toward his parents, a faint, almost imperceptible smile touching his lips.
'Whatever.'
Yoh put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall behind him.
Getting dragged out to watch a silly show like this every once in a while didn't seem so bad.