Chapter 30
And She Didn't Know A Thing
Elena
(Flashback_six months ago)
My head pounded in rhythmic beats that throbbed my senses as I slowly came to. I blinked my eyes, trying to adjust my eyes to the light.
Where was I? I looked up at the white ceiling, not moving. I couldn't even move if I wanted to, my entire body felt like it was weighed out of lead and my mind couldn't urge my body to move.
"Administer… first dose… second… fourth…"
I heard faint voices from around me but I could hardly keep my eyes open, talk more of to see who it was. A sudden wave of exhaustion crashed into me and my vision blurred as I sank into darkness again.
I don't know how long I was unconscious, I drifted in and out of consciousness, never staying too long on one side.
I heard faint voices of people time and time again but I couldn't say a word, I was like an onlooker, watching as events passed. Except I wasn't watching any events, just a white ceiling.
I groaned as I stirred, this time sensation had returned to me and the sounds around me felt clearer, more real.
I could hear a buzzing sound in my head and I winced, trying to tune it out even as the beeping sounds of the hospital equipment became stronger in my ears.
What happened? I wondered, flashes and images of a car crash appeared in my mind. The images were blurry and I couldn't seem to focus on any. They felt like a dusty memory of someone else and not mine.
I'd been holding someone, I blinked trying to focus as the image became clearer.
"Lily," I whispered unconsciously. Despite myself, I felt my cheeks become wet as tears dripped down from my eyes. I had a very dear feeling towards her, and the sight of her pale, unmoving face filled me with anguish.
Who was she? I wondered, the tears coming on even more. As I was deep in my reverie I didn't realize the hospital equipment I was strapped to had begun beeping erratically as it recorded the changes and spikes in my body conditions.
Who was she? I kept asking myself, a hidden will seemed to push me on. I felt like the answer was important to me, she was important.
Where was she? Lily...Lily...Lily… Lily
I didn't realize I was calling out the name repeatedly as my mind spun with thoughts. Where was she? I wondered, trying, and failing to sit up and look around.
"Patient's pulse rates are spiking… levels are low… administering in one… two… three…" I heard voices and I could see some vague shadows of people moving and talking inches away from me though their voices could've been speaking from miles away.
Almost immediately I felt a wave of fatigue sweep me away and my mind shut down.
And the world went dark.
***********************
I stirred slowly, the world slowly regaining its colors as I opened my eyes, I couldn't keep my eyes open as the bright lights stung my eyes.
"Pulse rate…breathing is steady…"
I opened my eyes slowly when I heard voices. A nurse in white scrubs stood just inches away from me, she held a clipboard in her hands and all her attention was fixed on the heart monitor.
"You're awake," she finally noticed my opened eyes. "How do you feel?" She asked softly, she had kind eyes.
I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out, my mouth felt parched and dry. I opened my mouth, and stared at the nurse, hoping she would understand.
It looked like she did, she disappeared for a moment before she came back with a glass of water, she'd thoughtfully put a straw inside.
"Here," she slowly helped me sit up before she held the straw to my mouth. It was then I finally saw the entire room, it was a small room, and I was the only one here.
"Lily," I muttered after I'd finished drinking, my voice sounded alien, foreign to me. "Where's Lily?" I stared at the nurse with pleading eyes.
"I…" the nurse hesitated for a moment. "I'll let the doctor know you're awake," she finally said. She turned on her heel and left before I could say a word.
I glanced around the room after she'd gone, my eyes following the pipe that'd connected the drip to my arm. The images of the crash flashed through my head like a nightmare, the only clear memory there was Lily.
I frowned, straining my mind as I tried to think. What had I been doing in that car? Where was I going to? Or coming from? I concentrated, trying to decipher the memories in my head but a stabbing pain hit me and I winced, relaxing immediately.
I couldn't remember. Nothing at all.
I felt a thread of panic unfurl within me at the thought. It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't know how I looked, what was my name? What was I doing here? What…
The door opened at that moment, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked over and a doctor walked in, a stethoscope hung around his neck.
"You're awake," he said, staring at me with concern. "How do you feel, miss…?" He trailed off, looking at me for help.
Miss? I shook my head slowly, and tears streamed down my face. I couldn't even remember my own name, the only name I had in my head was Lily.
A light filled my eyes and I stared at the doctor. "Lily?" my voice was a croak.
"Lily?" The doctor frowned and he shook his head. "No, of course not. That's your daughter's name," he explained before looking at me doubtfully. "You don't remember?"
But I wasn't listening, his words were like a thunderclap behind my ears. I had a daughter? The image of a pale face flashed through my mind and more tears surged forth.
"No," I finally whispered, staring at the doctor. "I don't remember anything."