Chapter 315: Future-Tony's Problem
"Well? Understand now why I wanted them to go together?" the Ancient One asked, smiling at Banner.
Future-Banner swallowed hard without meaning to. This Ethan guy is unbelievable.
If this is what "Thanos" looks like in this universe, who even needs a whole team of superheroes to deal with him?
Ethan alone might as well BE our entire Avengers roster. Maybe an enraged Wanda could've matched him. Maybe Thor, back when he was actually Thor.
The moment Banner pictured his own timeline's current Thor — beer gut and all — he shook his head reflexively, banishing the thought.
Banner turned the whole situation over in his head, and it finally clicked: he understood exactly why the Ancient One had insisted on Ethan and Strange coming along together.
He'd been confused about the decision earlier, but now, it seemed like the smartest possible call.
"No problem, then — I'll go regroup with the rest of my team and wait for you two to arrive," future-Banner said, already itching to share the good news with Tony and the others.
They were probably feeling pretty grim right now, still empty-handed on the other Stones.
Banner would normally have used his comm device to relay this, but Strange had destroyed it earlier — so a trip back to find them in person it was.
With that, he said a quick goodbye to the Ancient One and Strange and headed off.
What Banner had no way of knowing was that his own team was currently dealing with a mess of its own.
"Tony, you sure this is where the Tesseract actually is? This place looks pretty grim. 'Hell's Kitchen' really does live up to the name." Future-Ant-Man scanned the surrounding street, taking in the scene.
Despite everything Ethan had done to improve the neighborhood, the shadow of war still hung heavy over it today. Every shop nearby had shuttered for the fighting; the streets stood completely empty, nothing but wind whistling past darkened windows and the occasional distant boom of an explosion.
"There's no mistake. I pulled the S.H.I.E.L.D. files myself — some guy named Ethan Cross took the Tesseract, and apparently caused a hell of a scene doing it," Tony said, his expression complicated.
With FRIDAY's help, Tony had hacked his way into this world's internet and pulled every scrap of relevant intel he could find.
What he'd read had left him genuinely stunned.
This universe was overflowing with superheroes and mutants that simply didn't exist back home — an entirely new, unfamiliar world, full of unknowns.
Even more shocking: this universe's Nick Fury was already dead.
Publicly, the story was that the Lord of Hell's Kitchen had killed him. But Tony's sharp instincts told him something didn't add up.
He suspected Fury's death was tangled up with HYDRA somehow.
That suspicion wasn't baseless, either. This world's current S.H.I.E.L.D. director — Pierce — was a known senior HYDRA operative back in Tony's own universe, and here, he held the exact same position: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Which meant Tony had every reason to suspect this world's S.H.I.E.L.D. had been infiltrated by HYDRA just the same.
With Fury dead, it made perfect sense to Tony that this world never assembled an Avengers team — after all, in his own universe, it had taken every ounce of Fury's scheming and manipulation just to barely pull that team together in the first place.
In its place stood something called the Illuminati — a handful of faces Tony recognized, though not many.
What actually stunned Tony the most, though, was learning that this world's version of himself already knew the truth about his parents' deaths, and had actually fought Captain America over it — even taken Bucky's body afterward.
And every bit of that, apparently, traced back to the Lord of Hell's Kitchen — Ethan.
Tony read through every scrap of intel on Ethan he could find, and discovered the man had gone from a complete unknown to the world-famous "Lord of Hell's Kitchen" in barely a year.
Tony genuinely couldn't wrap his head around how one man had pulled that off. If it were just about personal power, fine — but Hell's Kitchen's roster of superheroes alone was practically comparable in size to his own universe's entire Avengers.
Sure, in raw institutional strength, his own Avengers still had the edge for now — but give this Ethan guy another year, and he might well close that gap entirely.
Is there something wrong with this whole "Hell's Kitchen" setup, or is it this Ethan guy specifically?
It was well beyond anything Tony had a frame of reference for.
If he had any real choice in the matter, Tony genuinely wouldn't want to sneak into Hell's Kitchen chasing the Tesseract without better intel first. He was confident that, given enough prep time, he could pull it off regardless of how strong Hell's Kitchen or Ethan turned out to be.
But right now, they didn't have that luxury. They were out of Pym particles for another Quantum Tunnel jump. This was their one shot.
"You sure we're not gonna get spotted?" Ant-Man asked, drawing a sharp breath, heart hammering. He was terrified the Lord of Hell's Kitchen might just appear out of nowhere.
Ant-Man hadn't exactly missed the battle Hell's Kitchen's people had just fought, either — sure, he figured he could probably handle the weaker heroes in a pinch, but the rest were well outside his weight class. And that was before even factoring in the terrifyingly powerful Lord of Hell's Kitchen himself.
Future-Ant-Man was, frankly, scared he might never make it back to his own universe at all.
"Relax. The only reason I'm bothering to try this at all is BECAUSE Ethan's not here. We're here." Tony and Ant-Man finally arrived outside the Lucky Dragon.
The two of them approached cautiously, scanning their surroundings. The restaurant appeared completely empty — nothing inside but one particularly ugly dog standing guard by the door. Both of them let out a quiet breath of relief.
"Get in there, quick. I'll keep watch out here," Tony murmured to Ant-Man.
"Yeah, yeah, got it. I'm a superhero, you know — this sneaking-around-and-casing-the-joint stuff isn't exactly my speed. And what is UP with this Lord of Hell's Kitchen guy's taste — who keeps a mutt this ugly as a pet?" Despite the grumbling, Ant-Man shrank himself down at once, a tiny streak of light zipping straight into the restaurant.
The instant Ant-Man disappeared inside, Tony heard a voice call out behind him.
"Mr. Stark? Didn't expect you back at the restaurant so soon — I just saw you a minute ago. How's your Friend Point count looking today?"
Tony froze at being spotted — but recovered his composure fast.
He turned to find a young man standing there. Tony didn't recognize him at all.
But the familiar suit gave it away instantly — this had to be this world's own Spider-Man.
"Oh... yeah, not bad, I guess," Tony answered vaguely, silently praying Ant-Man would find the Tesseract and get out fast.
He knew full well: if any of these heroes figured out what they were actually here for, the consequences didn't bear thinking about.
Just as Tony was working up another vague deflection for the kid, he spotted more and more superheroes making their way toward the restaurant.
Tony's expression soured further. Thank god he was still in the suit — otherwise he'd have already blown his cover completely.
The kid, at least, seemed easy enough to fool. The rest of these heroes, though — Tony had zero confidence he could bluff his way past them.
Damn it. Is there some kind of superhero party going on here or something?
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