6.5
What is this?
For the first time in years, I came back to awareness.
Where…
At some point in the distant past, there had been a reason for my being. There might have even been some attractive reason, but those memories were far out of reach.
Voices…
voices…
voices?
I don't like this. I want to leave. I want to get out.
Stop talking.
Let me go.
Slowly, the pain leeched out of the darkness and into my mind. It seeped into every crack of my consciousness, and the pressure it built threatened to break it apart.
No matter how acute it was, it endured. A constant, black burn.
Ohh? Oh no. Shut up. Shut up!
SHUT UP. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
Whatever I could do to free myself from them. Anything.
Ohh.
The screams quieted.
Ahh. I wanted to live.
Why?
If this is life, then why would I want it?
The solution had appeared before me: all I had to do was die, and then I could escape my suffering.
However, something lingered deep in my subconscious.
Could it be… a desire to live?
A burning desire…
One that couldn't be extinguished.
What could be so good about this?
I clawed through the deepest recesses of my mind. It required every drop of willpower that I had remaining, but I needed to learn the answer.
Slowly, something trickled back to me.
Light.
It isn't just dark.
But it's worth it? Staying here for that?
If I had a breath, it would waver.
No. Nooo. No.
Stop.
Get out of my head.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!
…Hurt me…hurt me.
I don't want to do anything.
I won't do anything.
I can't do anything.
Just hurt me.
Punish me.
It's what I deserved.
Shoot me.
Kill me.
Look at me.