"Honestly… you're being so difficult, My Lord. You'll catch a cold if you leave now, you know?"
Shirou tried to slip out of the bathroom, but failed.
Tomoe Gozen, a Mixed-Blood half-demon with superhuman strength, and Ushiwakamaru, renowned for her Agility.
There was no escaping the net the two of them had thrown around him.
Shirou sighed, then quickly resigned himself to his fate.
He turned his back to the two women wrapped in bath towels and put on an expression of grim resolve, like a condemned prisoner awaiting the executioner's blade.
"...Bring it on!"
"Mm."
Tomoe Gozen and Ushiwakamaru exchanged a glance, then slowly closed in on Shirou from behind.
Before long, the wet sound of a towel gliding across skin echoed through the steam-filled bathroom.
"Big Brother's back is so firm…"
Ushiwakamaru murmured in admiration as she scrubbed Shirou's back, her cheeks flushed.
"You think so?"
"Yes. You'd never guess it when he's dressed… It's incredible. This must be the result of all your daily training, Big Brother…"
Tomoe Gozen moved the towel in silence, her eyes fixed on Shirou's back, a deep "gulp" escaping her throat.
Ushiwakamaru glanced at her, puzzled. "Tomoe-dono, say something too, won't you? Why have you been so quiet all this time?"
"Huh? Ah! Y-yes! My Lord really does have a wonderful physique…" Tomoe Gozen stammered, her cheeks burning.
I never imagined he'd be this devastating.
Before stepping into the bathroom and seeing him bare, Tomoe Gozen had assumed Shirou was the slender, boyish type. After all, he had such a baby face.
She had even walked in with a bit of a "looking after a child" mindset.
And yet, though Shirou was only sixteen, there was no doubt he was already a real man.
His Magecraft and swordsmanship training, which he hadn't neglected for a single day since the age of eight, had granted Shirou a flawless warrior's build far beyond his years.
"...Gulp."
Tomoe Gozen was suddenly overcome with embarrassment.
Since Shirou-dono is already a fully grown man, doesn't that make my barging into the bathroom no different from what a nymphomaniac would do!?
Ushiwakamaru could still just barely pass as a child who hadn't awakened to such things, but I'm an adult… I'm a married woman, no less!!
To any outsider, I'm nothing but a widow flaunting herself, seducing a young boy…
Just as Tomoe Gozen's mind raced and her heart pounded, Ushiwakamaru stepped away from behind Shirou, went to the edge of the bathtub, and scooped up a ladleful of hot water.
"Big Brother, I'm going to rinse your back now."
"Mm-hmm, go ahead."
"Heave-ho!"
Ushiwakamaru poured the hot water over Shirou's head in one go.
With a splash, all the lather on the boy's back was washed clean away.
"...Gulp."
Tomoe Gozen swallowed again.
Shirou's vivid hair fell damp against his skin.
After being washed by the streaming water, the lean lines of muscle across his well-trained upper body and arms stood out even more sharply, giving off a particularly enticing air in Tomoe Gozen's eyes.
"...Gulp!"
She'd lost count of how many times she'd swallowed by now.
Tomoe Gozen felt a flame flickering and burning inside her.
This sensation was very much like the one from her battle with the Scorpion Man… the feeling from the first time she gave herself over to her Oni bloodline.
She realized that if this went on any longer, what little reason she had left might slip away entirely.
"Haa… haa… haa… ♡"
Tomoe Gozen parted her full lips, gasping for breath.
Thankfully, the back-washing was over.
If she lingered any longer, she would surely pounce on Shirou.
As a Demon-blooded. As a female.
She wanted to feed. She wanted to violate.
On both counts, hunger and lust alike, she wanted to sate herself.
"All right! Now then, time to wash the front~!" Ushiwakamaru announced brightly.
"Ahh?"
Shirou and Tomoe Gozen cried out in dismay at the same time.
"What are you two so shocked about? Isn't this only natural?"
"Wait, Ushiwaka… I can wash the front myself."
"No way~~ Big Brother has to be good and do as he's told. You can't quit halfway~~"
Shirou and Ushiwakamaru tugged at the towel, grappling all over the bathroom.
In the end, Shirou proved no match for Ushiwakamaru's stubbornness and had no choice but to sit still and behave.
"Tomoe-dono, what are you doing standing over there all frozen up?"
"Ah, r-right… coming."
Tomoe Gozen snapped out of her daze and knelt down before Shirou alongside Ushiwakamaru.
"..."
Shirou no longer had the faintest idea where to put his eyes.
Even wrapped in bath towels as they were, the view from below was far too provocative.
Tomoe Gozen's towel was pushed up high by her ample chest, exposing the round, full swells beneath, still hung with crystalline beads of water.
Ushiwakamaru might not have Tomoe Gozen's voluptuous curves, but her figure was shapely and blossoming in its own right, and her slender, long legs were especially eye-catching.
"Here we go."
The two began scrubbing Shirou's chest with their towels.
After the back-washing just now, their technique had improved considerably, the pressure just right.
"Hehehe, Big Brother's front looks amazing too~"
"Don't say unnecessary things."
"Aw, are you embarrassed?"
"Not in the slightest."
Shirou grumbled.
Since resistance was futile, he might as well enjoy it. Just as Shirou was thinking that…
"?"
Was he imagining things?
For a while now, Tomoe Gozen had been staring fixedly at his lower body, still wrapped in the bath towel…
No, no, no, it had to be his imagination. There was no way the dignified, gentle Tomoe would ever do something so improper.
That was the kind of thing only Iri and Professor would pull… No, she really is staring! Staring hard!
Now that he'd noticed, Shirou became acutely self-conscious, and then…
Watching that peculiar physiological phenomenon of "a towel tied around a man's waist rising up with no external force behind it," Tomoe Gozen let a coquettish, alluring smile spread across her face.
Tomoe Gozen: "My Lord has already become a splendid man, hasn't he? ♡"
Ushiwakamaru: "?"
Shirou: "..."
Because the scale of the bulge was so absurd, before long even Ushiwakamaru caught on that something was amiss.
Innocent and carefree as she was, she could still more or less grasp what it was.
Ushiwakamaru said nothing, sparing Shirou's dignity, but her face had long since flushed crimson.
Stealing glances at the shape outlined by the towel, the girl found herself thinking of the tricolor dango she'd had at lunch.
No, it was probably far bigger than that…
"That's enough. I'm getting out."
"Ah!"
Shirou shot to his feet, and Ushiwakamaru let out a strange yelp. The reason was that her hand had been holding onto a corner of Shirou's towel.
The instant the towel slid free, the two of them, still kneeling on the floor, froze solid.
"!?!?!?!?"
Ushiwakamaru's eyes went wide, while Tomoe Gozen wore the expression of a maiden untouched by the world, her shoulders trembling violently.
"M-Macuahuitl!?"
Overwhelmed with shock, the mixed-blood widow blurted out the name of the mighty weapon (the saw-toothed sword) favored by Quetzalcoatl.
...
"Huh-ha~… Morning, everyone."
Merlin came yawning down the stairs into the first-floor lobby of the embassy, greeting Ritsuka and Mash, who were already up, with a good morning.
Sitting around the dining table chatting like this, waiting for Siduri to arrive and hand out their assignments, had become the girls' familiar daily routine.
"By the way, who's on breakfast duty today…"
Just then, a voice shattered the embassy's morning quiet.
"Pardon the intrusion. So this is where you're staying? Pretty spacious, as far as a place to wait out the rain goes."
Everyone's jaws dropped.
King Gilgamesh had, of all things, come to visit the Chaldea Embassy in person.
"Do you really have that much free time?" Shirou stepped out of the kitchen.
"Of course not! I snuck out without Siduri noticing. More to the point, what's with that getup?"
Gilgamesh stared, dumbfounded, at Shirou in his apron.
"As you can see, I'm making breakfast… Shall I fix a portion for you as well?"
"I suppose sampling commoner fare for a change of pace wouldn't be so bad."
"So that's a 'yes,' then?"
"…Hmph."
Gilgamesh sat down at the table.
"Um… so… this morning… um… what is it you need?"
Mash stood nervously behind Gilgamesh. "To think the King would come to our barracks in person…"
Gilgamesh said with a smile, "In any case, you lot must be sick of being ordered around by Siduri by now, no?
So this time, I'll assign the work myself.
It's nothing much, certainly no backbreaking labor. Just a simple water-quality survey.
The cargo cart is already prepared. From here, you'll head south out of Uruk to the Persian Gulf.
Just bring back the bottles filled with seawater from the observation post set up on the Persian Gulf, and that's that."
"So it's hauling cargo? Understood. This job actually sounds pretty simple, Master!"
Having lived in Uruk for a month, Mash had grown fairly familiar with the surrounding area by now.
The road to the Persian Gulf was the one and only stretch even the Three Goddesses wouldn't attack, so this mission could be called extremely simple.
"Oh, right. This time Shirou, Merlin, and Ana needn't come along, since there are only two extra permits for the trip to the Persian Gulf."
"A long-overdue trip for just the two of us, Senpai?"
No sooner had Mash said this than Gilgamesh put on an utterly matter-of-fact expression and declared:
"As a supplement to your combat strength, I shall accompany you."
"You really are just bored, aren't you?"
Shirou quipped as he set breakfast down beside the King of Heroes.
"Fool! I am not the least bit bored!"
Gilgamesh flew into a rage.
"Let me make one thing clear: this is not because I'm worn out from work, nor because I'm after some kind of thrill… What in the world is this?"
Gilgamesh was left speechless, staring at "that thing" Shirou had set before him, the one giving off a sharp, foul stench.
"It's natto," Ritsuka explained.
"Hm? Your Majesty, the omniscient, omnipotent King who sees through the future of all creation. Don't tell me you don't even know what this is?"
Shirou wore a wicked grin, and Gilgamesh's face turned red.
"O-of course I know what this is! It's that, right? That stuff they call 'traditional Chinese medicine.' It tastes awful, but…"
"This is the King's breakfast."
"Something this rank!?"
In the end, under Shirou's relentless stare, Gilgamesh steeled himself and choked down an entire bowl of natto.
...
Whether or not it was payback for being made to eat the natto, the King handed Shirou an assignment of his own before leaving.
Gilgamesh: "Shirou, I'll entrust you with a rather important task."
Ritsuka: "Uh-oh, here comes the payback."
Mash: "The King… is surprisingly petty."
"I told you, it's not payback!"
Gilgamesh declared in a solemn voice, "This one's a search. Head to the city of Kutha and recover the Tablet of Destinies."
Ritsuka: "The city of Kutha? Isn't that the domain of the Goddess of the Underworld?"
Mash: "So it really is payback after all, isn't it, Senpai?"
"You two! No whispering!" Gilgamesh bellowed.
Merlin asked curiously, "My, now this is an unexpected job. The Tablet of Destinies is in Kutha?"
Gilgamesh nodded.
Not long ago, he had finally recalled where the Tablet of Destinies had been left behind. It was in that ruined city ruled by the Goddess of the Underworld.
"That Ereshkigal is a dangerous one, but we can't simply leave the Tablet of Destinies where it is.
Shirou, can I count on you? You're the only one among us who's had any contact with Ereshkigal."
The red-haired boy agreed without a second thought. "Understood. Leave it to me… I doubt she'll give me too hard a time."
Gilgamesh went on, "Also, gather some intelligence on Ishtar along the way. The route to Kutha passes through several ranches.
The ranchers have been filing reports for days now about losses caused by Ishtar. Go and dig up the details."
Shirou nodded.
Ishtar, huh… Good timing. It's about time I met that goddess for myself.
...
Recovering the Tablet of Destinies went even more smoothly than expected.
It took a mere two hours, less than a tenth of the travel time, and could hardly have been easier.
Was it because Ereshkigal was a shy, withdrawn goddess?
In all the time it took Shirou to locate the Tablet of Destinies in the city of Kutha, the Goddess of the Underworld never once appeared before him.
But…
"Mm, there's no mistaking it."
Shirou looked down at the tablet in his hand.
Faint though it was, it still bore a divine aura he knew all too well.
Did you send this over to me?
"Thank you, Ere."
With the Tablet of Destinies in hand, Shirou left the city of Kutha and made his way back to Uruk.
Oh, that's right. I need to stop by the ranch and ask about the damage.
Taking a slight detour, Shirou learned the recent situation straight from the ranch owner's mouth.
Over the past several days, the goddess Ishtar had been unleashing indiscriminate bombardments near the ranches, then tracking down the ranchers to extort their property once each attack was over.
"She's an absolute demon!" the ranchers protested.
Disrupting the ranches' operations, along with intimidating and extorting those who ran them.
On the surface, this was an undeniable fact, but Shirou understood it was most likely a front the goddess was putting on.
Not a single human had died from Ishtar's attacks to date, though the injured were plenty numerous…
In stark contrast to that fact, the number of Magical Beasts wiped out by Ishtar's saturation barrages of magical energy was already closing in on four digits.
Was she carrying out a goddess's duty in her own way, protecting the world of Mesopotamia?
Or else, just as King Gilgamesh had put it.
Perhaps the goddess Ishtar simply regarded the world itself as her own "property."
Come to think of it, so the goddess of beauty who presides over Venus is actually a miser…
The goddess Ishtar of the myths did indeed love to hoard treasure.
But those she extorted were usually beings of higher standing than herself, her father among them, and there were no tales of her stripping wealth from humans.
It couldn't be that she'd been swayed by the influence of her host… ahaha…
"!!"
Just then, a powerful surge of Mana came bearing down at high speed from the sky.
Shirou hadn't gone through it himself, but according to Ritsuka, she and the others had been put through the wringer by it.
This was none other than the goddess Ishtar's assault!
The next instant, magic bullets rained down from the sky like fireworks.
Shirou made no move to dodge.
Because if the locals' reports held true, Ishtar would never, under any circumstances, directly harm a human.
"..."
The magic bullets streaked past Shirou's body, blasting the ground wide open.
Through the billowing dust, a black-haired goddess whose whole body was decked in lavish jewels came descending menacingly before Shirou.
"Found you at last, you loathsome human!
I hear you've been going around grilling the ranch owners about me!
I've no idea what you're scheming, but… …huh?"
The goddess Ishtar's eyes went wide.
"Shi… Shirou…?"
The goddess of Venus stared at the boy's face, unable to speak.
How could this be?
Isn't this my husband, the one I never met but who died three months ago (a relationship the goddess confirmed entirely on her own)?
***
...
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