Chapter 13 Don't make it weird
The maids were a force of nature. Despite his protests, Rin was stripped of his baggy hoodie and unceremoniously stuffed into a gown that looked suspiciously familiar. It was a high-collared, structured dress in shades of slate gray and deep rose—a near-perfect replica of the "regal but sporty" aesthetic Fern favored.
When Rin finally managed to escape the dressing room, he marched back toward the study, his face a mask of silver-haired fury.
Finn, who had just finished a grueling debrief with a still-suspicious Fern, looked up as the door opened. He did a violent double take, his neck nearly snapping. For a split second, he thought his fiancé had magically dyed her hair and grown six inches.
"Rina?" Finn blinked, his gaze traveling over the fitted bodice and the elegant flair of the skirt. He cleared his throat, forcing his face into a mask of stoic, knightly approval. "That... is a highly efficient choice of attire for a consultant. It projects authority while maintaining the castle's formal standards. Well done."
Rin stopped in front of the desk, crossing his arms. "You learn fast," he said, genuinely impressed. "Normally, you would've said something accidentally flirtatious like, 'You look as radiant as the morning star,' but you kept it strictly business. Good job."
"Thanks," Finn replied, looking genuinely happy that he hadn't triggered a domestic explosion.
"Yeah... though your 'type' is definitely short women," Rin said, shaking his head as he looked at himself in a nearby mirror.
"What? No, it's not!" Finn countered immediately.
"Do you want me to go get Lady Fern so we can test that statement in front of a live audience?" Rin asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No... no, you don't have to do that," Finn said quietly, his shoulders dropping.
"So you admit it," Rin said smugly, leaning against the desk.
"Yes," Finn snapped, sounding annoyed. "But I'm too huge for them. My second fiancé once told me she wanted me to 'break her in half.' I've spent every day since then worried that I'll actually hurt someone. I'm a Saint of Steel, Rin. My physical output is terrifying."
Rin let out a genuine chuckle, the tension finally breaking. "Relax, dude. They'll be fine."
"So... I won't break them in half?" Finn asked, his blue eyes wide with a strangely innocent concern.
"They're Demi-humans, Finn. They have higher durability than normal humans. They can handle it," Rin said.
"Well, that's reassuring to hear," Finn sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I honestly thought I might crush them with my weight or my grip."
Rin paused. He stared at Finn's earnest, worried face for a long, silent beat. "Finn... you do know they aren't talking about your arms when they say 'break them in half'... right?"
Finn blinked, looking utterly lost. "They aren't? Then what are they talking about? My core output? My grappling technique?"
Rin let out a long, weary groan and covered his face with his hands. "You are a lost idiot," he said, shaking his head. "My other half student is literally a Shonen protagonist who hit his head on a brick."
"Oh? Is the Saint worried about his... potency?" Naga purred, leaning against the doorframe with a wicked grin. "Rin, move aside. I think the big guy needs a more 'hands-on' lesson in Demi-human anatomy."
Rin didn't even wait for Naga to finish her purr. With the practiced reflex of a tired parent, he reached out, snagged her spade-tipped tail, and yanked her backward so hard she nearly tripped over her own heels.
"Nope. Absolutely not. We are leaving. Right now," Rin hissed, dragging the pouting vampire toward the door.
"Oh, come on, Little Slime! The big guy is clearly suffering from a lack of... educational resources," Naga laughed, her eyes dancing with mischief as she tried to claw her way back toward the desk. "I was just going to explain the biological differences in stamina between a Saint and a High-Blood!"
"What's wrong with the lesson?" Finn asked, standing up from his chair with that terrifyingly innocent, helpful expression. "If there's a gap in my knowledge regarding Demi-human physiology that could prevent me from accidentally injuring someone, I should probably hear it."
Rin stopped at the doorway, his hand still firmly clamped on Naga's tail. He turned back to look at Finn—his "heroic" half, the man with the power of a god and the social awareness of a potato.
"It's not the kind of lesson you think it is, Finn," Rin replied, his voice flat. "She's talking about something... perverted. Deeply, shamelessly perverted."
Finn blinked, his brow furrowing in genuine confusion. "Perverted? But we were discussing physical durability and structural integrity. How does—"
"Don't ask! Just... stay in your office and read a book on bridge building or something," Rin groaned. He shoved Naga out into the hallway and followed her, slamming the heavy door shut before Finn could ask a follow-up question about "load-bearing capacity."
Once the door was closed, Naga doubled over, howling with laughter. "Oh, Rin... he really is a masterpiece, isn't he? He's like a mountain made of muscle and pure, unadulterated denseness. How did your soul split into 'Sarcastic' and 'Standard Shonen Protagonist'?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Rin muttered, leaning his back against the cool stone wall. "I just realized that if he ever actually gets married to Fern, he's going to spend the entire honeymoon trying to calculate the PSI of a hug so he doesn't break her ribs. And braking her in half how dose he not know what that means, no one would use that in a normal conversation."
"Well," Naga said, wiping a tear from her eye and straightening her collar. "At least he's 'too nice' to be a threat for now. But we still have a problem. The scouts are still buzzing around the perimeter, and Milim is currently in the kitchen trying to see if she can 'bless' a tray of cream puffs."
Rin sighed. "Great. A dense Saint, a horny Vampire, and a gluttonous Goddess. This 'vacation' is going great."