"I can't believe we're just letting him play. He isn't even a servant," whispered Acco to Hilda, who was sat beside her.
"Well, he's already got himself comfortable on that sixth seat. Plus, I don't think I've ever seen Sydell so passionate before—he really wants that kid to play," replied the Viking.
"So... How do you play Old Maid?" Taiga asked.
"Really?! You interrupt our private gaming session without even knowing the rules?!"
One would assume this violent outburst was Acco's doing, but, to everyone except Sydell's surprise, it was actually the petite Cindy raging from across the table. Almost no one there had ever heard her speak above 30 decibels, let alone shout.
'What a bitch,' Taiga thought to himself. 'Shit. What if she has some mind-reading Fraze? Hey! I know you're in here, and you're not allowed here without my consent, so get lost!'
"Who the hell even are you?! Barging in here with that stupid face of yours!" Her baseball cap was barely holding on to her scalp as she continued to slam the table with her soft, skinny arms while Marco failed to restrain her.
"Enough, Cindy," spoke Sydell.
'Well, at least she can't read minds.'
"I invited him to play, so treat him as an extension of me, nothing more and nothing less. Don't see him in that seat; see me. And, therefore, treat me with respect."
'Wow, this Sydell guy has some crazy clout amongst these servants. I'm guessing he's the group lead—'
"Shut up, you anorexic loser! Not everything revolves around you, old man!"
"Or not," Taiga accidentally spoke aloud as he began chuckling.
Cindy clicked her tongue before returning to her seat.
"Just explain the rules to him so we can get started." Cindy's voice had returned to her usual soft cadence.
"Alright," replied Hilda while lifting a card from the deck in front of her. "This here is the Old Maid."
It was a Queen of Spades. Someone had drawn a crude face on it—angry eyes, a frowning mouth, and a big red cross over its face.
"Quite the beauty," said Taiga.
"You can thank Marco," interjected Acco.
"Down with the system!" responded the revolutionary Marco, sticking his tongue out and raising his fist in the air.
Hilda ignored the boy before continuing.
"The rules are simple. We go around the table. On your turn, you draw a card from the person to your left. If it matches one in your hand, you discard the pair. If it doesn't, you keep it."
"And the Old Maid?"
"Can't be paired. You're stuck with her. Whoever's left holding her at the end loses and is eliminated. We keep playing until there's one winner."
Taiga nodded. "Seems easy enough."
Acco burst out guffawing from the bottom of her diaphragm.
"What's so funny?" asked Taiga. "Why do I already know it's gonna be some bullshit?"
"I'm sorry," she laughed while wiping her tears. "I couldn't hold it in anymore. I mean, here you are nodding your head off trying to act all cool, but your face is swollen beyond repair." She resumed her giggle session by slamming her fist on the table in pure, unadulterated ecstasy.
"Alright! Let's start the game," Taiga requested, hoping to divert the conversation from the swollen face he'd been gifted by Acco.
'What a mega bitch,' he thought while the cards were being dealt.
"And remember," spoke Cindy, "no Frazes."
"People use Frazes to cheat at card games?"
"You'd be surprised," replied Sydell, finally removing the cigarette from his mouth. "A win is a win in mine and many others' books."
Everyone picked up their starting hand of 8 and immediately began their search for pairs. Marco put down 4 of his cards, Acco 2 of hers, Hilda and Cindy 6 each, and Sydell 7. Taiga put down none.
'Shit!' he shouted in his brain. 'I'm screwed. My gambling dreams are over before they even began. I can't work with any of this. Well, at least I didn't get the Old Maid. I wonder who did?'
Taiga proceeded to turn his head to the left, only to be blessed with the image of Marco burying his face into his hands—all 4 of his cards strewn face-down in front of him.
"Crap!" His exclamation was partially muffled by his hands. "I never win when I get the Old Maid in the first round. Look at me, I'm such a failure. I can't even win a single round of this stupid game."
"Shut your trap and play!" shouted Cindy before slapping him on the back of the neck. "Go pick one of his cards."
"Yes, ma'am... Not that it matters. What's the point in living? We're all destined to be slaves to the rich anyways. Hell! We already are."
With his nihilistic tangent over, he blindly chose a card from Taiga's hand.
"Great! I didn't even get a pair. Good-for-nothing Marco at it again!" He proceeded to slump back into his seat, accidentally showing Cindy and Taiga where the Old Maid sat in his hand.
With that piece of information, everyone knew exactly where the Old Maid was. The rest of the round passed by in a blur, with every player desperately trying to dump their cards onto one another.
"PUNISHMENT TIME!" shouted everyone at the table besides Taiga.
"Please, no! You can't embarrass me like this in front of the new guy. What am I saying? This shouldn't be done no matter the context!" Marco exclaimed as he begrudgingly made his way to the edge of the room, leaning against the wall with his hands and bracing his core.
"What's his punishment?" Taiga asked.
"Wait and see!" Cindy responded, while excitedly bouncing up and down in her seat. Her initial animosity towards the boy having calmed down a bit.
From Taiga's seat, only Marco's torso was visible, so he got up and tried to get a better view.
Marco was leaning against the wall, clenching his teeth; Sydell was right behind the boy, holding an absurdly long samurai sword between his two hands. Taiga then looked at where Sydell was aiming and sat immediately back down.
'I'm surrounded by psychos,' he thought before immediately standing back up again.
"And I am no different. I have to see this!" he shouted before joining in with everyone else's cheers and applause.
Marco was about to get his bum sliced.
Marco's punishment came at the hands of Sydell's Fraze, No Matter How You Slice It. It gives him insane precision, accuracy, and control over any bladed object. This was fortunate for Marco, as Sydell could precisely slice the message "I Lost :)" onto his rear without seriously injuring him.
"3! 2! 1! Go!"
The sharp sounds of slashes filled the cramped room as the servants and Taiga cheered and laughed, while the unfortunate Marco screamed in embarrassment.
"Et voilà!" Sydell bowed to everyone once his masterpiece had finished.
"Et voilà indeed!" Cindy repeated, incorrectly pronouncing every letter of the French phrase.
"Now you have to wait 5 seconds, Marco. Don't go running off now," Hilda reminded the poor boy in between hearty laughs.
"Hahaha! Look at yourself!" Acco guffawed. "I wonder how the rest of the servants..." Her train of thought was interrupted by another onslaught of laughter.
"Unlucky, man," softly spoke Taiga. "Better you than me, though!" he said before pointing and laughing at his fellow player.
"...are going to see you after this!" Acco resumed before quickly continuing to slam the table in laughter.
"Yeah, laugh it up, you pervs!" Marco protested as he raised his pantaloons. "Just wait till it's your turn Sydell! All of you!"
"Yeah, it's hilarious, big brother Marco!" laughed Cindy, almost falling over her chair.
"I'm not your brother! I'm already embarrassed as it is. I don't need you infantilising me too."
"Yeah, yeah. Go take your seat in the corner and continue watching. Maybe you'll pick up a thing or two," suggested Sydell.
"What's the point of picking stuff up if you've got holes for hands." Marco said as he dragged his chair into the corner and sat down.
Round one, complete.