The carriage, with its five occupants, continued moving forward.
Silence had fallen once again until Cassane decided to break it.
"What happens after this?" Her eyes were fixed on the only person who seemed to have the answers. "I feel like I don't understand anything, and I can't keep ignoring everything."
"Wasn't it to be expected?" a flat tone replied.
Cassian, with cold eyes devoid of any hint of affection, continued:
"If you expected things to turn out exactly as you thought, you are far too innocent. You are a 'queen' in an academy of an Empire among millions of others that must exist out there. Life moves on, Cassane."
Cassane clenched her fists on her lap until her knuckles turned white.
Her eyes, previously hesitant, now burned with a frozen fury as she held his gaze.
"Don't talk to me like I'm a child, Cassian," she snapped through gritted teeth. "I don't care how many millions of empires exist out there. In this one, my family name still means something, and what happened back there was not a 'natural progression' of life."
She leaned forward slightly, ignoring Morgana's mocking glares.
"People died, the heir to the throne looks like a vegetable, and you walk around as if you own everyone," she spat with rage. "You think you can just drop a cynical remark and expect me to stay quiet."
"Do my words bother you that much?" Cassian shrugged.
The gesture only seemed to annoy Cassane even more, and she completely ignored the others in the carriage.
"And shouldn't they? You knew I was awake that time, didn't you?"
So, her curiosity wasn't about what she had asked before; what she had been holding back had finally exploded.
"Is there anything wrong with what I said back then?" He looked at her seriously, stopping the games.
Cassane hesitated for a moment.
"We are betrothed," she whispered, before regaining her confidence and continuing.
"I am the daughter of a war marquess, I have a rare affinity, and I'm quite sure my face and body stand out compared to many other women. So... what am I missing? Is it because of the engagement?"
"There's nothing wrong with you," he replied. "It's just that I don't like you. And even if you don't realize it, I'm not usually very friendly toward people who try to take advantage of me, Cassane."
Fengyue looked like she was watching a movie while listening to them speak.
Morgana began to feel uncomfortable with the conversation and stopped her mocking glares, while Valeria looked at Cassane with concern.
"Besides, what did I do to make you suddenly so interested in getting close to me?" I continued. "Is it just because I'm not the 'useless' fool you first thought I was? Or was helping you a couple of times enough to melt your heart?"
The truth was that Cassane seemed to have feelings for me.
My life had become hedonistic enough that I didn't turn down female company, but her "queenly" attitude bored me.
She was just another person convinced the world owed her something—an arrogance I'd seen far too often and that only made me feel weary.
And definitely, the fact that she occasionally reminded me slightly of Xuehua didn't help.
Furthermore, what she was looking for in me wouldn't be so easily found; there's a reason why I avoid Rosalind, beyond whatever is going on with Margery.
And while I could get along with Adela and Elizabeth, or even Sylvia and Elara now, my relationship with them had started differently.
However, considering I just had a relationship with Seraphine—even if it wasn't "her" the whole time—maybe it really was time to consider what I wanted.
My cruelest side, the one I had learned the hard way, screamed at me to dominate her, to break her; but the voices of those I cherish kept appearing every now and then.
It was simply a matter of which side would win.
And lately, something inside me was telling me that I already knew the answer.
My words seemed to chill Cassane; it was as if a bucket of cold water had suddenly been dumped on her, making her realize I wouldn't give in so easily.
"If you are going to despise me for it, at least be honest about the reason."
Her words sought to challenge me, to shatter the mask of coldness I had been showing her.
Because of this, the trip—which was already awkward—became even worse.
Since all the women present already had an idea of my power, I made the decision that seemed most intelligent, even if it might look like I was running away: I vanished from that carriage, reappearing in the capital to throw myself onto my bed.
Adela didn't take long to arrive, excited after hearing noises in the room.
But seeing me like that, she decided it was better to remain silent.
She approached and looked at me with concern.
For a moment, looking at her, I felt that everything was fine; if Cassane reminded me of Xuehua, Adela was more like Siyin, or perhaps a blend of Yifei and Lanying.
I was exhausted.
"Adela, make sure no one knows I'm back until the others arrive," I ordered. "And call Elara; I could use some relief."
I figured if anyone could handle me in this mental state, it was that masochistic princess.
My maid frowned at my last words, but she obeyed without asking further questions.
…
Several days would pass after that, but it would take a few more to bring some clarity to my mind.
Fortunately, my thoughts cleared up quite a bit.
I had started a new life to move away from the things that, in a way, complicated my existence; if I kept doubting like this, everything would lose its meaning.
With this in mind, I finally got up and left the room.
With a specific place in mind, I headed there.
Perhaps I should have done this sooner, because Rosalind looked devastated.
Upon seeing me, her eyes filled with tears.
She bit her lips, holding back whatever she had been enduring, and rushed toward me to melt into an embrace.
"Stupid! Fool, heartless!" she sobbed. "If you came back, how could you not come to see either of us? Margery and I almost died of worry! And that maid of yours wouldn't let anyone see you... for a moment, I thought something had happened to you on that trip."
I lowered my head and apologized, feeling guilty.
"I'm sorry..." my voice sounded a bit hoarse.
With her in my arms, thinking about the people I had met here, I couldn't help but think: "this life really is good." I tightened my grip around Rosalind.
"Sister... no, Rosalind, I'm a lost cause," I confessed. "Not only do I tend to solve my problems by killing everything in my path, but I also enjoy drowning in desire and subjecting women to it, so they can't think of anything else."
I clenched my fist tighter, wrinkling her clothes between my fingers.
"I care about you, you know?" I said, my voice softer now. "You and Margery; you're important to me. I thought what you told me last time, accepting that I wasn't a good person, was enough, but the truth is I've already lost someone I loved before because of my behavior. Once you see the world, my world, you'll understand why I'm telling you this."
I broke the embrace to look at her with dead seriousness.
"One day I will destroy you, Rosalind. You, her, and everyone around me."
Rosalind looked at me as if she were listening to someone else, as if nothing I said made any sense to her.
But suddenly, her eyes softened —and believe me, I don't understand it; she and Margery seemed to have developed feelings for me in a way I never quite grasped—.
She placed her hand on my face as if everything I'd said were of no importance; she caressed me, smiled, and said:
"You can destroy me, Cassian. Margery and I would do anything for you."
I don't think she should have said it. If anything could shatter the doubt I had about her, it was what I was about to do next.