"I didn't believe Jiraiya when he kept bragging about how strong you were. But after today, my eyes are open. Your strength is monstrous."
"No wonder the old man wanted you to become the Sixth Hokage. You really do have the qualifications."
The second Akira heard the word Hokage, his head started to ache. He waved both hands at once. "Stop right there. Don't bring up Hokage around me. I'm allergic to the idea. Go talk to Naruto about that. Becoming Hokage is all he dreams about."
He genuinely had no desire to be Hokage. Sitting in an office all day stamping paperwork, needing permission just to leave the village. The thought alone was enough to make him despair.
Jiraiya swaggered over and patted Tsunade on the shoulder with a smug grin. "See? I told you this kid's a freak. Ninjutsu, taijutsu, medical ninjutsu, he's top-tier at all of it."
...
After the chaos of the fight in Tanzaku Town, everyone returned to the inn to recover.
Jiraiya, the shameless old letch, had already run off to enjoy himself.
Naruto was still in the back hills battling the Rasengan like his life depended on it.
Only Akira remained where he always was, holed up in his room like an old scholar in meditation, chewing through books every day.
Tsunade had given him a huge stack of rare medical ninjutsu texts. These were the sort of materials Konoha's library didn't even have, and Akira was completely absorbed in them.
That afternoon, the sunlight was warm and clear.
Akira was holding a volume titled On the Reconstruction of Somatic Cells, reading it with complete focus.
Creak.
The door was pushed open without the slightest courtesy.
Akira didn't even raise his head. He could tell who it was just from the mix of liquor and perfume that drifted in.
"You really are like some old man. Don't you get sick of shutting yourself up in this room every day?"
Tsunade dropped onto the tatami beside him, poured herself a cup of tea, and drained it in one go.
Akira turned a page, his eyes still glued to the text, and answered casually, "Tsunade-hime, don't you get tired of coming here every day?"
Leaning against the table, Tsunade looked at the boy who was completely lost in studying and let out a helpless sigh. "I should've known better than to give you those books. You've gone and read yourself stupid."
"You were quiet before, but not this boring."
Akira finally closed the book and looked up at the beautiful woman in front of him, smiling faintly.
"Tsunade-hime, don't complain. You should enjoy these last couple of vacation days while you still can."
"Once we're back in Konoha and that hat's on your head, you'll be the Fifth Hokage."
"At that point, paperwork alone will make your hands go numb. Want to drink? Want to gamble? Keep dreaming."
The moment she heard that, Tsunade's face fell. She grabbed the sake bottle and took a long swig, as if alcohol could numb the miserable future waiting for her.
Akira stretched lazily and teased, "If I were you, I'd be spending every remaining day losing money in every casino in Tanzaku Town. That way at least you'd leave with no regrets."
Tsunade went limp and leaned bonelessly against his arm.
A while ago, Akira would've turned red the second she got that close.
But after this happening day after day, he'd already trained himself into a shameless new level of tolerance.
Maybe that was what people meant by getting used to something.
Tsunade didn't seem to think the position was inappropriate at all. She shifted into an even more comfortable angle, nearly resting her chin on his shoulder as she looked at the book with him.
"What's so interesting about this thing? Hurry up and finish it, then come drink with me."
Akira glanced out the window. The sun was still hanging high overhead, bright enough to hurt the eyes.
He sighed. "My lady, what kind of person starts drinking at noon? Can't you drag Jiraiya-sama along instead?"
The second she heard his name, Tsunade slumped more dramatically across the table, her voice heavy with disgust. "What's the point of drinking with that old pervert? Just seeing him annoys me. It's easier with you around."
Akira couldn't help laughing. "Sounds to me like you just want an emotional trash can so you can vent to your heart's content."
The truth was, Akira knew exactly why Tsunade kept dragging him around.
Only in front of him could the future Fifth Hokage lower all her defenses and start rambling about old stories from the Second Great Ninja War.
Akira didn't really mind.
In fact, he found it fascinating.
Before coming here, he had only known the broad outline of the story. Listening to someone who had actually lived it made all the details come alive in a way the original narrative never could.
Whenever Tsunade sank into memory, Akira quietly played the role of listener.
Resting on the table, Tsunade turned her head and stared at him for a long time with her light brown eyes.
Then, very softly, she asked, "That genjutsu you used on me that day... if it had really happened in real life, what would you have done?"
Akira froze for a second before realizing what she meant.
He stopped moving and thought seriously for a few seconds.
Tsunade kept staring at him, and there was something almost expectant in her gaze.
Then Akira's mouth curved up into a smile with a trace of killing intent. "I'd probably turn Orochimaru into minced meat."
Tsunade nodded slowly. "That sounds about right. That is the kind of thing you'd do."
"Looking at it carefully, you're nothing like Nawaki. And nothing like Dan."
Akira raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
At that point Tsunade sat up straight, and the two of them were suddenly face-to-face, close enough to feel each other's breath.
Her expression was strangely serious.
"The reason Naruto feels familiar to me is because he really is like Nawaki and Dan. He's cut from the same cloth. But you're different. You don't have that same idiot streak."
Akira blinked twice. That was such an awkward thing to say that he didn't even know how to take it.
"Was that supposed to be praise or criticism? I'm honestly not sure."
Tsunade's beautiful eyes remained locked on his face. "Do you know why I fell for Dan in the first place?"
The moment she opened with that, Akira felt his head start to pound again. He spread his hands helplessly. "To be honest, I'm really not that interested in hearing ancient romance history."
Tsunade visibly froze.
Then her brows shot up, and she glared at him. "Hm? Feeling brave today?"
That single hum carried a long, rising note and all the threat in the world.
Akira instantly surrendered, raising both hands. "All right, all right, my mistake. I'm deeply interested. Please go on."
The truth was, he genuinely had no interest in why Tsunade had liked Dan.
More importantly, he already knew.
Even setting aside the original story, Tsunade had spent the past few days getting drunk and telling him the same story in loops until his ears were practically calloused.
Akira lowered his eyes back to the book, trying to use the words on the page as a way to drown out the inevitable flood of nostalgic rambling.
All of that had happened years ago.
How had she still not gotten over it?
Maybe that was just what happened as people got older. They became more and more likely to sink into the past and never fully come back out.
Tsunade didn't care whether he was listening or not. She smiled to herself and continued anyway. "The reason I fell for Dan was because he was too much like Nawaki. That stubborn obsession with becoming Hokage, it was exactly the same."
"And when it came to reforming the whole medical ninja system, he was the only one who supported me without hesitation. That was when I thought, This is a man worth trusting my life to."
Listening to this heavily aged love story, Akira's eyelids began drooping as sleepiness washed over him.
Was this woman deliberately casting some kind of sleep-inducing genjutsu on him?
Even though the sarcasm in his head was off the charts, he didn't dare show it. He could only force his eyes to remain on the text.
By the time Tsunade finally finished her speech, she noticed that the boy opposite her still hadn't given a single visible reaction. His eyes were practically glued to the book.
A little annoyed, she jabbed him in the side with her elbow.
Akira finally came back to himself, turned to look at her, and frowned slightly. "Finished?"
Tsunade smiled in a way that was just a little dangerous and nodded. "Finished. You didn't listen to a word of that, did you?"
Naturally, Akira couldn't admit it. He answered with solemn nonsense, "Of course I listened. Very carefully."
Tsunade's smile widened. The danger in her eyes did too. "Then repeat what I just said."
Akira fell silent.
He really could have done it.
Splitting his attention like that wasn't difficult for him.
But he had absolutely no desire to revisit those awkward romance stories in detail.
Seeing that he said nothing, Tsunade's face darkened instantly. "So you weren't listening!"
Akira sighed, set the book down, and said helplessly, "I listened. I just honestly think it's not very fair for you to treat me as a stand-in for your brother, or as some kind of emotional substitute."
"And I'm not enlightened enough to inherit your brother's or your lover's will. Naruto's suited for that. I'm not."
"I've never had the slightest desire to become Hokage. So I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed."
The truth was, Tsunade had gone around in a huge circle, but her real goal had been obvious from the start.
She wanted to nudge Akira into making "become Hokage" the purpose of his life.
But Akira truly had no ambition in that direction. A thankless job like that could go to whoever wanted it.
Tsunade waved a hand, looking somewhat disappointed. "Fine. I knew you'd say that. Forget it. I'm not going to force you."
Akira understood perfectly well that ever since he had revealed jonin-level strength and the fact that he was Kakashi's student, he'd been too conspicuous not to attract attention from Jiraiya and Tsunade.
The second he'd shown that kind of power, the Third Hokage had probably added him to a special list in his head.
That didn't bother Akira much.
Konoha was short on talent, and good young ninja were rare enough as it was.
Someone like Akira appearing out of nowhere naturally made the Third see a better option, so of course he kept a close eye on him.
But Jiraiya and Tsunade were simpler, and in a way more stubborn, than the Third.
They genuinely wanted to push Akira toward the Hokage's seat.
Jiraiya's reasoning was simple. Akira had the right background, the right values, overwhelming ability, and strength to match. Letting someone like that avoid being Hokage felt like a criminal waste.
Tsunade, on the other hand, was only slightly more complicated.
Part of it was the same as Jiraiya. She sincerely wanted to shape Akira into a successor.
The other part was simply that she genuinely liked him.
And since Akira was, at least in name, halfway her student already, that only made it easier to justify.
Unfortunately, it was a case of one side willing and the other entirely uninterested.
Seeing the topic had run itself into the ground, Akira smiled and reached for his book again. "Then I'll get back to reading?"
Before he could even finish, Tsunade snatched the book right out of his hands. "Reading, my foot. You've got the rest of your life to read. Right now, you're drinking with me."
Akira never touched alcohol, but every single time, Tsunade eventually steamrolled him into going anyway.
Before he could even nod or refuse properly, he'd already been hauled out the door by Tsunade's ridiculous strength.
Not long after, the two of them were once again walking into that familiar tavern.
By now Akira was completely used to the pattern.
Soon enough, it would go exactly the same way as always: drinking, stories, and then hauling an unconscious drunk back to the inn.
And sure enough, the moment the food and drinks arrived and a few cups of alcohol went down, Tsunade's mouth opened again, and the topic once more turned to all those stories from back then.
They drank until the middle of the night, right up until Tsunade finally lost consciousness and collapsed on the table.
Akira watched the scene and shook his head. "Every single time you drink yourself into this state. There really aren't many people like you."
Still, he didn't find it especially bothersome.
He'd been hungry anyway, so a free meal wasn't exactly a loss. The only issue was the late hour.
After paying the bill, Akira hoisted the dead-drunk Tsunade onto his back and slowly made his way back to the inn.
Once he got her into the room and laid her on the bed, he looked down at her tightly furrowed brow and could tell that she was drowning herself in drink because the memories still hurt too much.
To be honest, Tsunade's life really had been a bitter one.
Whether it was bad luck or just too much fate, no one could say. Her younger brother had been blown apart, and the man she had just fallen in love with had died right in front of her.
Akira's eyes drifted over her once, and he nodded silently to himself.
That figure really is one of a kind in the ninja world. Nobody else compares.
But that was as far as it went.
Looking was one thing.
Akira absolutely didn't dare entertain any improper thoughts.
Tsunade was out cold, yes, but if he actually dared take advantage of that, then when this tyrannosaur woke up, she'd tear him into spare parts.
He had no confidence whatsoever in beating Tsunade when she was truly enraged.
You only had to look at Jiraiya's past to know what kind of disaster that would be. The old lecher wasn't weaker than Tsunade. He just never dared fight back, and the result had been near-fatal injuries that almost sent him to the Pure Land.
Just as Akira pulled the blanket over her and turned to leave, a burning-hot hand suddenly clamped around his wrist.
The next morning, sunlight spilled across the balcony.
Akira stood by the railing with a green crystal necklace hanging from his fingers, the cold sweat on his back not fully dry yet.
"Last night almost went very, very wrong. Way too close."
"Good thing my self-control is apparently superhuman. I barely managed to slam on the brakes."
Still, the fact that Tsunade had forced this necklace into his hand left him feeling more than a little conflicted.
"This thing is not a lucky charm. Nawaki wore it and died within days. Dan wore it and didn't last long either."
"There's no way I'm putting this around my neck. My luck is decent, sure, but I'm not going to challenge some weird mystical curse head-on."
At that moment, Jiraiya wandered in from outside with a total bedhead disaster sitting on top of his skull, and the first thing he noticed was what Akira was holding.
He leaned in, looking nosy as ever. "Wait... isn't that Tsunade's necklace?"
Jiraiya knew exactly what that necklace meant to Tsunade.
It was one of the few things she treasured most.
Akira nodded without hiding it.
Jiraiya dropped into the chair beside him, curiosity written all over his face. "How did that end up in your hands?"
As far as he knew, Tsunade never let that necklace leave her person.
Akira answered casually, "She gave it to me. Said it was a thank-you gift for helping her get past her fear of blood."
That wasn't what had really happened at all.
The truth was that last night, when Akira had tried to slam the brakes on the situation and make a clean escape, Tsunade had shoved it into his hand by force.
At that point, her eyes had already been much clearer than she'd let on.
Akira had refused for quite a while, not because he didn't want it. The necklace was worth a fortune. If he sold it, he could probably buy several mountains' worth of gold.
Ninja had to eat too. Who in their right mind turned down money?
But this thing was cursed enough to send a chill down his spine. Every past owner except Tsunade had met a bad end, and later on, Naruto had nearly been killed more than once after wearing it too.
This was a walking death flag, and Akira truly didn't feel like accepting it.
But under Tsunade's stern, unquestionable stare, he eventually folded and took it.
Jiraiya still thought the explanation sounded a little thin, but he didn't press further.
Akira wrinkled his nose and said with open disgust, "No wonder you've never managed to catch Tsunade-hime. You smell like cheap perfume from head to toe. Were you in the red-light district again last night?"
The scent was strong enough that one sniff was all it took to know exactly where it had come from.
Jiraiya grinned, not embarrassed in the slightest. "What would a kid know? I was gathering intelligence. Places like that are the best information networks there are."
That, at least, Akira didn't argue with.
Though he knew full well that "gathering intelligence" wasn't the only thing Jiraiya was doing there. More likely, the old lecher had been collecting "writing material."
...
"Jiraiya-sama, you've been tracking the Akatsuki for a while now. What exactly are they after?"
Truthfully, even Jiraiya was still in the dark on that one.
"I don't know yet. Lately they've been keeping a much lower profile. Instead, they've started collecting all kinds of strange jutsus on a large scale. I've got a bad feeling they're planning something."
Akira let out a quiet laugh. "Isn't it obvious? If every member of the Akatsuki is elite jonin level or above, then their destructive potential is basically strategic-weapon territory."
"And since they're a mercenary organization, some major backer is obviously paying them to do dirty work."
Jiraiya nodded in agreement. "That's true enough. If the money's right, they'll take any job."
Akira was actually very interested in the Akatsuki, especially the secret jutsus held by each member. For someone obsessed with ninjutsu the way he was, that kind of thing was incredibly tempting.
At this point, his interest in researching jutsus was driven almost entirely by curiosity.
After chatting with Jiraiya about that for a while, the shameless old man smoothly slid right back into describing how stunning the women from the night before had been.
Akira's face filled with black lines. He could feel secondhand embarrassment trying to kill him.
Yes, his mental age was that of an adult, but was it really appropriate for this old man to be talking about that sort of thing with a thirteen-year-old boy?
Then again, none of this was entirely Jiraiya's fault.
The Third Hokage had been exactly the same with him.
The Third had been an old rogue too. Was the Telescope Jutsu really meant for serious business? No. It was basically divine-tier peeping magic for women's bathhouses.
It was just a shame that Jiraiya had spent his whole life chasing Tsunade's shadow, and every time things looked like they might go his way, something always went wrong.
Not long after Jiraiya left, Akira was standing there holding the necklace up to the sunlight, studying the patterns inside it, when he suddenly felt a familiar presence appear behind him.