"Oh God, the shame! The absolute shame!" Egrer lamented, sluggishly banging his head against the steel door of the brig on the military cruiser. He could have never imagined that he would one day visit such an airship.
Especially as a prisoner...
However, was he worried about the uncertainty of his own fate? Was he concerned that he had been mistaken for a dangerous criminal? Was he afraid that the Atlesians would dig up something on him, and his comfortable life at Beacon would be replaced by a prison sentence? Or that they would actually search Weiss and find his letters? Was he perhaps at least worried about missing his speech on the importance of reviving the music club?
No. Not once.
Right now, Egrer was preoccupied with a much more complex and burning issue. Who cares about the future, criminals, and prisons when he couldn't even stop thinking about his present problems?
Right now, Egrer felt shame. A very intense shame.
"Noble rogue, my ass... how could I even blurt out something like that? I'd rather have been stabbed in the tower, honest to Light God..."
An unprecedented level of shame seized every cell in his body. Literally everything turned red, even the things that fundamentally couldn't blush. If he had anything to do in this one-by-one meter closet, he definitely wouldn't be engaging in self-flagellation. But there aren't that many ways to escape haunting thoughts in the brig. There was simply nowhere to run.
Places like this are built precisely so criminals can think about their behavior before their trial begins. Except Egrer hadn't committed any crimes in the Headmaster's tower, so he could only think about his other screw-ups...
"Such a fucking disgrace!" Another headbang against the steel door.
He passionately wanted to rewind time and rip his past self's tongue out. To blurt out something like that... it was definitely the punch's fault. Had Egrer been more sober, he would've never said such a thing. On the other hand, he wouldn't have asked Weiss out either...
Honestly, he didn't really understand what he felt for her himself. He simply lacked the right words to describe these emotions. Only one thing could be said for certain - they had crossed the "Just Friends" line quite a while ago, only realizing it recently. But at the same time, it was a long way from any lofty feelings.
Did he like Weiss? Definitely. She had charm and charisma; there was always something to talk about with her. Not to mention that for two such different personalities, they had surprisingly much in common. It would've been weird if he wasn't attracted to her.
But if you compared it to what they usually show in movies... actually, better not. If you were to make such a comparison, they fit the mold of a stereotypical hysterical couple whose purpose is to highlight the relationship of the main characters. And something told him the main characters were Jaune and Pyrrha. Now those two definitely wouldn't have any problems.
Another knock of his head against the door. This time, he got an answer from the other side.
"Stop knocking already." Egrer paid zero attention to the voice of the soldier guarding him. Because he had remembered the epilogue of his confession - how he kissed Weiss's hand.
"AAAAAA!!!!" The scream of his soul was accompanied by the resonant clanging of iron, as his head repeatedly tried to cave the door in.
Egrer had never experienced such intense embarrassment.
"Alright, Eg, calm down. Are you a man or not?!" He thumped his chest. "A man! And that means - you grab her by the waist, pull her close, and tell her she's yours now. And stop fucking whining, you wimp!"
Autosuggestion didn't help much. But talking to himself allowed him to get distracted from all these thoughts for a second.
"You're a male, you're an alpha! Hit her over the head with a club, dragged her into a cave! Actually, no, it's more likely she'll stab me with a stick... But still, who do girls like more: insecure wimps who are even too shy to hold hands, or bold and proactive alphas?!"
"Hey, kid, settle down..."
"If you're ashamed - do it in spite of the shame! If you're shy - it means it's a solid idea, all the more reason to do it! You're a man! I'M A MAN! Just get up and go!"
The steel door of the brig stood in Egrer's way. He sat down, and the newly appeared enthusiasm instantly died out...
"And how did my life come to this?.."
Even though they didn't resist arrest, he and Ruby were dragged here and locked in these tiny cells. With low ceilings to boot. You couldn't even stand up straight in here, and the exit door was only two hand-spans from your face. In such a cramped space, it was no wonder one could develop claustrophobia.
Weiss got luckier; she was simply put "under house arrest pending investigation." After all, not even the general would want to cross her father.
Egrer banged his head against the door again, wondering where he had stumbled on the thorny path of his own life.
Maybe when he decided to go after Ruby with Weiss? Or when he wanted to help his former foster parents? Or maybe back then, in the favela, he shouldn't have helped two suspicious criminals? There were too many variables to unequivocally isolate the reason for his being here...
'What did they lock me in this tiny cage for? Am I some kind of super-dangerous mobster?!'
Perhaps he had just been a bit too actively screaming that it wasn't him who infiltrated a guarded facility at night, beating up all the soldiers guarding it in the process. To the logical question of what he was doing at a guarded facility with beaten soldiers at night then, Egrer couldn't think of anything more fitting than to honestly blurt out, "Just passing by."
But he really was just passing by... Yet they only started treating him with even more suspicion.
Or maybe it was because his attempts to help the investigation were too pushy, making the general completely certain that he had a juvenile delinquent in front of him.
And they treated him accordingly. Despite the fact that Egrer didn't resist at all, they marched him with his arms twisted behind his back, as if he were capable of causing a massacre right on the Atlas flagship. And when the metal detector found lockpicks hidden in his underwear, the soldiers' behavior became even rougher. Ignoring his embarrassed screams, they didn't hesitate to pull down his underwear and confiscate the not-so-legal items.
Right in front of Ruby.
Egrer was ready to die of shame at that moment. The only slight comfort was that she had turned away. But even so, just remembering it made him flush red. He was humiliated, stripped practically naked right in the middle of the hallway.
Another headbang. This time, to knock the embarrassing memories out of his head. And to distract himself somehow, Egrer took up his favorite activity - singing.
"The laws of prison are cruel and bleak
Not just anyone can understand,
If you're a beast in this life, so to speak,
Then a stall awaits you, hero grand!"
Egrer's raspy voice suited this song surprisingly well. He even made it raspier, feeling that it was better that way.
"Oh, how many youngsters have done time,
And how many youngsters are doing it now!
But about freedom, time after time
Every soul aches, wondering how!"
He tried to sing as loudly as possible, either testing the cell's soundproofing or just pouring all his frustrations out.
"A heavy cross has fallen to my lot:
Prison took all my happiness away,
The cops took my health, left me to rot,
My family forgot me, gone astray."
The song made it a bit easier to endure the stress. Egrer had been sitting in this cramped cell for hours already, and he couldn't even sit or lie down normally in it. An absolute instrument of torture.
"He who has never been deprived of freedom -
Does not know its price..."
"Shut up already!" A soldier knocked on the door.
"Animals! Inhumans! Monsters!" Egrer yelled back, starting to punch the wall.
It seemed a nervous breakdown was slowly creeping up on him. The general had made a terrible mistake by locking a teenager with a tendency to overthink in a cramped cell.
First, he mulled over the shameful things he spat out after his confession. Then he remembered the search. Now it was time for everything else... Egrer literally had no other choice but to sit hunched over and serially recall the most shameful moments of his life.
But who said he wanted to? Right now, he wanted only one thing - to run as far away from these thoughts as possible. But there was nowhere to go.
"How much longer are you gonna keep me here?! Director Ozpin stands up for his own, he'll tear your whole mob a new one! Your general is gonna apologize to me!"
"Quiet! Or I'll consider this a refusal to cooperate."
And that was when Egrer's nerves truly gave out.
"I'm the one fucking refusing to cooperate?! Name at least one time I was insubordinate! When you dragged me into your holding cell, I couldn't shut up, I told you EVERYTHING!"
Almost everything. But no one could see his goofy smile right now, so a slight distortion of the truth wouldn't hurt.
"I'm an honest citizen with absolutely nothing to hide, a future Huntsman! And when everything gets sorted out, you'll be demoted to janitor! Pray to the Twin Gods, because only they can help you now."
"I'll add threats and insults to your file. Keep talking and you'll earn yourself a decent sentence."
"Go to Grimm!" Egrer started kicking the door with all his might. The lightbulb in the cage flickered. "Let me out! I didn't do anything! At least give me a cell with a bed!"
"Settle down, I said. Do you realize your behavior can be classified as an attempted escape?"
"Cop brutality! Locking people up for nothing! Monsters! Give me a lawyer! Faunus have rights too, you fucking racists!"
The breakdown didn't last long; after a couple of minutes of fruitless attempts to kick through the steel door, Egrer abruptly fell silent and curled into a ball on the floor. A pleasant emptiness settled in his head.
'This is much better,' he thought. 'It's better not to think at all than to think.'
For a second, this thought seemed so brilliant that Egrer wanted to award himself a prize in philosophy.
But suddenly he heard a familiar voice from somewhere far away. He pressed his ear against the door and strained all his auditory receptors as much as possible.
"James, your paranoia knows no bounds." The female voice seemed to belong to Goodwitch. At least, Egrer clearly heard the familiar strict tone.
"I will apologize." Some man. He couldn't recognize him by voice alone.
"You arrested three innocent students who were apprehending a criminal. And you even shot one of them!"
"Those were non-lethal rounds, Glynda. His health was not in danger. Besides, he ignored the order to get on the ground, so I had every reason to fire."
It was hard to gauge the distance they were talking at. The sound was as if coming from underwater.
"At ease, soldier."
Suddenly, the door opened, and Egrer tumbled right at the feet of General Ironwood. The boy raised his head and met the gaze of a two-meter-tall, muscular man with a square jaw, who also happened to command an entire army, while simultaneously being an experienced Huntsman and the Headmaster of his own academy.
It was scary.
"I didn't hear anything," Egrer swore with a goofy smile. "I swear on my mo... swear on my dad, I wasn't eavesdropping on your conversation."
Goodwitch's eye twitched at the mention of this certain dad, while the General immediately made it clear he didn't believe a single word from the juvenile delinquent by raising an eyebrow. And right above that eyebrow was a small metal plate, most likely some kind of implant.
Egrer's robophobia suddenly flared up with new colors; cyborgs turned out to be just as scary as giant killer robots. He slowly crawled back into his cell, from which he had been trying to bash his way out just a couple of minutes ago.
Miss Goodwitch gave the general a pointed look. He sighed.
"Mr. Peleni," he began formally, "I want to apologize for your detainment. As the wounded soldiers reported, they were attacked by a woman in black, not you. I was hasty."
'A real, actual fucking general is apologizing to me. If I tell anyone, they won't believe me.'
"Were you treated well?" Goodwitch asked, satisfied with the general's speech.
Egrer carefully climbed out of his cage and then hid behind her back, just in case. After which he poured out all his grievances.
"They marched me with my arms twisted even though I wasn't resisting, during the search they pulled my underwear down right in front of Ruby, and then locked me in a cramped cell where you can only sit with your legs tucked and your back bent."
"James!"
"In my defense, I will say that I had valid reasons to do so, which you are well aware of. Moreover, he was carrying lockpicks in his underwear. Admit it, that is suspicious."
"Your cells have electronic locks!"
"And is that a worthy reason to leave a suspect with such an item?"
"No, it's a reason to conduct a search according to all standards and the letter of the law. Why do you think prisoners' rights were invented? Although, what am I saying, you probably haven't even heard of them."
It was very strange to see the forever strict and cold Goodwitch so emotional. And even stranger was that right now, standing next to her, he felt safe. And that was absolute nonsense.
Egrer felt like a small child hiding behind his mother's leg. And if anyone dared touch her baby, the offender would face an unenviable fate of being sent to their closest relatives in pieces.
That was what Neo would have done. Goodwitch, something told him, would too.
"And also this one," Egrer pointed a finger at the soldier guarding him, "mocked me. He threatened me with life in prison and kept telling me to shut up, even though I was just quietly singing to myself to calm down."
No one saw his unnatural smile right now, as all eyes focused on the designated soldier.
"You... I..."
"I will personally issue you a reprimand later, soldier," the general said strictly.
Still peeking from behind Goodwitch's back, Egrer continued to take his revenge on the soldier.
"And he also threatened me with a 'rectal exam', like what if I'm hiding lockpicks somewhere else. Swear on my dad, it's all true! He's a pervert, a rapist, and a pedophile; I'm only seventeen!"
"Sir, that is blatant slander," the soldier replied in an even voice. "I was merely fulfilling my official duties, nothing more, nothing less." He looked at Egrer. "And the age of consent, by the way, is sixteen."
"No, just listen to him, he's even making excuses! And who said I consented?!"
Goodwitch pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Mr. Peleni, stop this circus, unless you want to return to the brig." For some reason, Egrer felt this wasn't an empty threat. "You too, soldier."
The Atlesian saluted and, with the general's permission, left.
"I hope your thugs treated Miss Rose more delicately?" Goodwitch asked as they walked to another cell. She really didn't like Ironwood's silence. "James?"
Apparently, even the Atlas general is afraid of Beacon's Iron Lady. It almost made Egrer proud!
"James, don't pretend you're deaf."
"I got distracted then," he finally replied. "So I can't say for sure."
The guard soldier saluted at the sight of the general and opened the door. From inside, a cloud of rose petals immediately burst out, stopped nearby, and scattered across the floor. Right in the middle of the scarlet carpet, Ruby sprawled out in a starfish pose, ignoring the muzzles of assault rifles pointing at her.
"I can stretch out!" she yelled. "My back... what bliss..."
Goodwitch clearly wanted to hit the general, possibly even with her riding crop. But, unfortunately, she held back the impulse.
"Lower your weapons," Ironwood ordered. "All charges against her are dropped."
Ruby immediately turned her head towards them and instantly stood at attention. Her eyes sparkled with joy just at the sight of their savior - Glynda Goodwitch.
"You came to get us out of here?"
"Exactly."
"Soldier, return their confiscated belongings and escort them to the hangar," Ironwood ordered.
The man in uniform saluted and jerked his head at the teenagers, signaling them to follow him.
"Miss Goodwitch? Aren't you coming with us?"
"I still have matters to discuss with the esteemed general. Get a good night's sleep and rest; you are expected in the Headmaster's office tomorrow morning right after breakfast. It is important."
Ruby and Egrer nodded. They had already managed to feel the full importance of the unfolding events on their own skin.
***
"Goodwitch is so cool..." Ruby whispered as they moved through the steel corridors of a real military vessel.
"Tell me about it," Egrer nodded in agreement. "Even the general himself is afraid of her. With a teacher like that, we'll be fine."
"I wanna be that cool when I grow up..."
The Atlesian let them into a spacious room where their belongings lay on white tables. Egrer immediately grabbed his Needle-Shooter and the Puppeteer's mask. That very mask had almost become another nail in his coffin. After all, why would an honest citizen hide his face? No one even believed it belonged to the criminal.
Then they were escorted to the Atlesian Bullheads, which looked much more beautiful than the Vale ones. At least they didn't have such violently protruding engines, which gave Bullheads their name in the first place.
"Eg," Ruby asked suddenly, "I know this is a super personal question, so you don't have to answer if you don't want to~"
Egrer sighed heavily. He knew he wouldn't be able to hide it, but he hadn't expected interrogations just a couple of hours later!
"Yes, I started dating Weiss. No, I wasn't planning on asking her to dance, it happened by accident. And no, we didn't kiss."
"O-o-oh... got it... But I meant something else. Why do you... well..." She blushed brightly, but couldn't hold back her curiosity, "keep lockpicks in your underwear?"
"Gods, you really should've asked about Weiss..."
"Ruby, Eg!" Weiss met them by the Bullhead. Apparently, she had also been brought here to return to Beacon.
"Weiss!" Egrer yelled back. Except there was no joy or happiness in his voice, only anger and irritation. "I get it, you were fighting a criminal back then, all that stuff... but why my jacket?!"
She just waved it off, as if this problem wasn't worth any attention at all.
"At the first opportunity, we'll go to a tailor shop. They will tailor a jacket for you that you could never afford yourself. At my expense, of course." Egrer mentally held her to her word. "You better tell me, are you both okay? They pinned you down so hard they could have sprained something."
"Everything worked out," Ruby smiled. Suddenly, she shot a brief glance at her brother in misfortune. "Well, almost everything."
"What did those donkeys do?"
"Let's not talk about it," Egrer requested. "I already managed to complain to Miss Goodwitch, so the general is in for some tough times, don't worry. Let's fly back to Beacon already, I'm dying to sleep."
"Let's not? You were shot!"
"Well, the general said the rounds were non-lethal."
"Did they at least bring a doctor? Your eyes are still damaged."
"Aura will heal it, I'll be good as new tomorrow," Egrer brushed it off, climbing aboard the Bullhead. "Spots are still dancing in front of my eyes, but nothing serious."
"I am extremely disappointed in the general's actions," Weiss grumbled, stepping onto the ship after him and Ruby. Soon, the massive shutters of the Atlas flagship slid apart, and the Bullhead flew out of the hangar. "How could he possibly suspect that WE caused that mayhem? My presence alone should have erased any suspicions!"
"We were standing in the middle of a wrecked room," Ruby timidly reminded her. "Alone and armed. It would've been weird if they hadn't said anything."
Weiss cooled down a bit from the realization that the general did have reasonable grounds for such behavior. But only a bit; not a second passed before she started grumbling and waving her arms again.
"I am still deeply outraged by the method of detainment! No investigations, just 'Face on the floor,' as they say."
"Guess that's the norm in Atlas," Egrer chuckled, rubbing the bump on his forehead. He'd hit his head far too many times in the last few hours... "Shoot first, ask questions later. By the way," he leaned in slightly towards Weiss and whispered so Ruby wouldn't hear, "How are the letters?"
Weiss tapped a finger against her purse and gave a thumbs up.
This made Egrer exhale all his accumulated stress and melt blissfully into the bench. He relaxed so much that he could have even fallen asleep, if not for the slight jolt of the Bullhead and the pilot's voice announcing the landing.
By the time they returned to Beacon, the party was already over. And the most offensive part was that their teams weren't even aware of what happened and were already peacefully snoozing in their beds. But that was only at first glance...
When Egrer returned to his room, the light suddenly flipped on. He immediately took a step back and shielded his eyes with his hand, hissing slightly from the sharp pain.
"Spill it," Magenta ordered with a wide smile. "With every single detail!"
"Better without details," Yort objected, lying on his bed. "Or better yet, don't ask him anything at all. Back off the man."
Hearing such a high compliment as "man" from him was a very rare occurrence. Usually, Yort only called his acquaintances from the heavy lifting club that.
"I'm interested too," Illmond said, backing Magenta's impulse. "So spill it."
Egrer breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. His team had noticed his absence after all and was very worried.
"Well, it all started when Weiss and I went after Ruby, who was chasing someone. We got to the Headmaster's tower and BAM! A soldier is lying there unconscious. We immediately armed ourselves, went inside, and it was a total mess in there~"
"Wait, wait." Magenta waved her hands. "What are you talking about?"
"What do you mean, what about? About where we disappeared to for so long. Wasn't that what you wanted to know?"
"Nothing but disappointment," Illmond sighed.
Egrer scratched the back of his head in confusion, and Yort decided to explain everything. In his signature manner.
"They thought you went into the bushes to fuck."
"What?!" Egrer exclaimed indignantly, blushing either from anger or embarrassment. Sure, Illmond prying with questions like that made sense, but what happened to Magenta? "It just physically hurt to listen to that non-music! So we decided to take a walk in the fresh air."
"And I fuckin' told 'em he wouldn't be bangin' outside," Yort started parodying his raspy voice. "'It's unhygienic and dirty!'"
"But your Semblance gave a whole sixty-nine percent!" Magenta yelled.
"How much?!!"
'You mean if it wasn't for Ruby, Weiss and I would've... right there on that bench...'
Egrer was experiencing very conflicting feelings right now. He was simultaneously disappointed and not disappointed. Although, mostly disappointed...
"But it ain't ninety-nine," Yort shrugged. "And even then there's a one percent chance the prediction won't come true. Long story short, stop bustin' my balls, I ain't no fairytale Genie."
"Still, Eg, you're a total tsundere," Illmond shook his head. "You were afraid to tell us you liked Weiss, and decided to hide behind helping Jaune. We were guiding him to her this whole time, but in the end, you hijacked all our hard work. How did you even manage to pull off such a 5D chess move?"
"There was no 5D chess move! Well, actually there was, but not on my part! I'm the victim here!"
"And on top of that, you didn't even get any hentai action with your waifu at the end of the route..." Illmond continued, ignoring his protests. "That's definitely a bad ending. I'm disappointed in you."
"Madge, kill the lights," Yort requested. "I wanna sleep."
"You're not even gonna ask about my health?!" Magenta flipped the switch, and the room was plunged into darkness again. "I almost lost my eyes out there! And then the three of us were mistaken for criminals and dragged into a cell! I sat for three hours in a one-by-one meter brig on the Atlas flagship! A general shot at me!"
"Since they let you go back to your room, it means you didn't suffer much," Illmond noted, poking at his Scroll. The conversation no longer interested him.
"And you call yourselves friends..." Egrer grumbled, changing into his sleepwear.
***
In reality, many people would give their right arm to become a person of significance. Of course, no one would admit it so easily, because that's akin to slapping a sign on your back that says "I'm a vain braggart, kick me." It just so happened in this world that modesty is considered an exclusively positive trait. And most importantly - modesty is the lot of heroes.
And what are Huntsmen, if not heroes?
In short, Egrer would have given his right arm precisely NOT to be a person of significance. At least significant in the sense that he was now the boyfriend of the Weiss Schnee.
His naive dreams that no one would pay attention to their dance and subsequent exit to the garden were ruthlessly crushed. So ruthlessly that even the Puppeteer would envy such unprecedented cruelty. Although, forget Her; probably even the Grimm wouldn't act so terribly.
They wouldn't let Egrer into the cafeteria. He was deprived of food. Absolutely immoral and inhumane behavior.
A good half of Beacon had ambushed him on the way to the cafeteria and was now asking idiotic questions. Idiotic, embarrassing, blush-inducing questions. How are you supposed to answer "What does Weiss smell like?" What, did he sniff her? No, of course he was familiar with her perfume, like anyone who came within three steps of her, but these freakish fetishists were interested in her other scent.
And that was them keeping themselves within the bounds of decency. More or less.
Simps, in a word. Fans of Weiss's art who didn't even dare to approach their idol, and then Egrer showed up, who was supposedly on their level in the social hierarchy. With him, they didn't have to worry about their hearts leaping out of their chests, while at the same time finding out more about their beloved idol.
This was the main reason the poor guy was stuck here. He flat-out refused to share such information (mostly because he didn't know the answers to their questions), and the simps flat-out refused to go do something useful. So this standoff had been going on for about ten minutes. And the clock was ticking; breakfast wouldn't last until curfew.
Egrer was even a little jealous of Weiss; he too wanted to someday acquire such an unhinged fanbase.
Surprisingly, the situation was saved by Jaune. The moment he appeared in sight, practically all attention switched to him.
After all, he was the boyfriend of the Pyrrha Nikos, who had even more fans at the academy than Weiss. The title of four-time champion sounded much cooler to the combative folks of Beacon than the title of a famous singer. To the great regret and envy of the latter.
Mentally thanking Jaune for his sacrifice, Egrer headed to the serving counter.
Whatever those shippers said, the purest and most sublime love is the love for food. Food doesn't care what you look like, it doesn't care what kind of apartment, car, or brand of clothing you have, it doesn't care about anything at all; it just needs you to eat it. And most importantly, it isn't demanding or picky when choosing a partner.
The best life partner of all possible options.
When Egrer loaded up two full trays of food and headed for his team's table, Blake caught him. She grabbed his elbow and jerked him aside, dragging him off in the opposite direction.
"Achoo!"
Egrer barely managed not to drop the trays. His love let out a displeased clatter of clinking plates and splashing cocoa, but not a single crumb or drop fell to the floor.
Blake led him to the farthest table in the corner of the cafeteria, where Sun was already eating. No one else was around.
"Weiss told me you fought some woman in the Headmaster's tower," Blake whispered when they sat down.
"Listen, can't this wait until the big break? I already wasted a ton of time fending off a crowd of crazy fans, so I just want to eat. I still have to go to the Headmaster's office after breakfast."
"By the way, Blake, it wouldn't hurt you to grab a bite either," Sun said. "Yesterday's incident showed that you aren't in the best shape."
"Wait, did you guys fight Roman?"
"Tell us about that woman first," Blake cut in.
"Fine," Egrer sighed, setting his spoon aside.
He pulled from his pocket the very mask he had managed to remove with a well-aimed shot from the Needle-Shooter yesterday. Then he immediately hid it back. Who knows, the Puppeteer might be watching them right now.
"This is all we managed to get. We didn't see Her face, because She heated up Her swords so intensely that I almost went blind. She probably has some kind of glass-manipulation Semblance."
"Lame," Sun scratched his head. "I thought she had some kind of mind-control or something. You know, something more sinister."
"You know, that was definitely the Puppeteer. We got destroyed like children; we only hit Her once."
"Distinguishing marks?" Blake asked thoughtfully. "Eye color, hair, height, breast size."
"You think I had any desire to stare at Her chest?" Egrer snorted. "And as for colors - it was dark. You of all people should know that in the dark we see everything in black and white. The most I can say is Her hair is dark. And height... well, She's about a head taller than Ruby. Roughly your height."
"It's a start."
"What are we gonna do with the mask?" Sun asked. "We're not just gonna walk up to random people and ask, 'Did you drop this?' Or are we?"
"We aren't," Egrer replied. "If we had a dog, we could track her down by scent. Can't just throw an opportunity like that in the trash, honestly."
"If only it were that easy to sneak an animal in here..." Blake shook her head.
"My team sneaked an octopus in a bag into Beacon, hooking a rope onto the landing skid of an airship. And we weren't even students yet back then, just flying to Initiation."
"Holy shit," Sun drawled in surprise.
Blake, meanwhile, blinked slowly and tilted her head slightly.
"You know, for some reason, I'm not surprised. In any case, your own scent has probably overpowered the Puppeteer's scent by now."
Egrer slapped his forehead.
"Damn, didn't think of that. I need to stash it somewhere. What if the scent is still there?" Blake shrugged; she was already indifferent. "Alright, now it's your turn to share information. Who was Torchwick waiting for if the Puppeteer was here?"
Egrer started eating quickly, since he was no longer required to say anything. His mouth was finally occupied with what it was originally intended for - grinding food.
"Dude, you won't believe what was there!~"
"Sun," Blake interrupted him, "keep your voice down."
"Ahem, sorry." He leaned slightly over the table and continued in a conspiratorial whisper. "Adam Taurus showed up with a convoy of a dozen trucks loaded with Paladins."
Goosebumps ran down Egrer's body. He remembered all too clearly what just one such machine was capable of, and he really didn't like that the terrorists now had so many of them.
"We couldn't get close enough to eavesdrop on their conversation right away, but when they were saying goodbye, they wished each other, quote: to drop dead on the Bitch's next errand. End quote. After that, they parted ways."
"So they have a warehouse in that spot?" Egrer guessed, downing a glass of pink compote in one gulp.
"No," Blake replied. "Just a transfer point; they changed the trucks' license plates there. We managed to hitch a ride on the undercarriage of one of the vans and track where they were going. The southern gates of Vale. Most likely, they were heading to that very hideout to the southeast outside the city. It seems Torchwick bribed the guards at the exit, so they were let through without inspection."
"Wait, wait, wait, you rode all the way to their hideout?"
"Of course not. We left as soon as we realized they were going to leave the city."
"Almost left," Sun added, earning a displeased huff from her. "If someone slept more, they wouldn't have crashed into a lamppost."
Egrer involuntarily snorted into his fist. Over time, his quiet chuckling grew into full-blown laughter, and Blake's menacing glare only made the situation funnier. Although, of course, there was nothing funny here. The two of them could have been seriously hurt there, or even died. But... a lamppost! How could anyone screw up that badly?
Soon Sun caught the giggles too and started snickering, clearly recalling that incident in full detail. Through barely suppressed laughter, he continued:
"Pfft-hee-hee, you should've seen it, Eg! Blake is sneaking around all serious, hah, looks left, then right, and then... hee-hee-hee... it's just... Aha-ha-ha, I can't! I hear this 'Bink!' I turn toward the sound, and she's rubbing her forehead, and then... Aha-ha-ha! Then the shooting started... Torchwick goes 'Catch those idiots!' and we just hauled ass! Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
"Yeah, yeah, very funny," Blake grumbled. "Had your laugh? That's enough."
"You guys pulled off a whole spy movie over there," Egrer wheezed through tears. His stomach hurt from laughing so hard.
"And you had an action-packed blockbuster." Sun punched him on the shoulder. "Clashed with the main villain, and even took a trophy."
"It was more of a thriller or a horror movie. Think about it, we were walking at night into a locked-down building, and on the way, an unconscious soldier's body fell under our feet. Inside, there were like a dozen of those poor guys. The only thing missing to complete the vibe was puddles of blood and the groans of the dying, but, it seems, the Puppeteer prefers to work without unnecessary casualties."
"More likely," Blake chimed in, "it's because someone's death would be treated much more seriously than a simple beating. Since it is, nothing irreparable or terrible happened. Everyone will be on guard, but not nearly as much as if someone had been stabbed. By the way, Egrer, I know asking is probably pointless, but do you know why the Puppeteer broke into the CCTS?"
"Not the slightest clue. But whatever She was plotting then, we stopped Her from doing it. Today we can celebrate our victory~"
"Mr. Schnee." Someone suddenly tapped Egrer on the shoulder. Turning around, a lush bouquet of flowers was shoved in his face. "Mr. Schnee, please convey our most sincere congratulations to your future spouse. You'll invite your best friends to the wedding, won't you, Mr. Schnee?"
"Mr. Schnee?" Blake asked quietly, not understanding a thing.
"Mr. Schnee! Used to be Tarzan - became Mr. Schnee!"
"Hat!" Egrer grabbed the bouquet and threw it on the floor. "Vanish! Be gone! Go to hell! And you too, beanpole!"
"Oh come on, Mr. Schnee." Joker, standing nearby, raised his hands placatingly. The piercings on his face threatened to tear his whole mug apart, so hard was he trying to suppress a smile and maintain seriousness. "We're saying it from the bottom of our hearts. We're happy for you!"
"By the way, Mr. Schnee, you made the front page." Hat pointed a finger at the right spot on the newspaper, although it was clearly an unnecessary gesture. It was very hard to miss the headline taking up a quarter of the page: "LOVE HEXAGON RESOLVED???"
Egrer sighed. It was the longest, most drawn-out, and despair-filled sigh of his entire eventful life. Surprisingly, he felt nothing but exhaustion right now. Instead of tearing the newspaper into tiny pieces, only one thought was in his head: 'Who's the sixth?'
Reading the article, he quickly realized that the insane shippers sitting at the printing presses of the student newspaper had equated Weiss and Magenta's innocent dance as an act of true love and the addition of a dark horse to this intrigue. The editor seemed to have been drooling while writing the text, making the article so disjointed and chaotic. He had simply stitched together all the facts he had with white thread, invented motivations, and made assumptions about things so far-fetched that it was just stupid.
For example, the question of who would take whose last name when (not if, but exactly when, as if it was already a decided fact) Egrer and Weiss got married. He didn't even have to read this part; from the way Hat and Joker addressed him, the article's conclusions were already clear.
Egrer didn't really read deeply into the text anyway, but the sheer volume of three columns harping purely on this topic thoroughly impressed him. In a bad way.
Furthermore, Weiss was called a Faunus-phile several times. After all, she had only danced with two people the entire evening, and both were Faunus. Naturally, what else could it be but some kind of Faunus-philia?
Hope she doesn't get into trouble with her father because of this...
Praise the Twin Gods that no one saw Egrer's dance with Neo, otherwise things would have been much, much worse. And even more praise to the Twins that the newspapermen hadn't found out that behind Jaune stood Egrer himself and Illmond, and behind Pyrrha—Nora and Ren. Extrapolating further, one could even assume that Weiss also had her own secret support group.
"Ugh... And who wrote this garbage?"
"Me!" Joker answered proudly, thumping his chest. "I'm one of the editors of the student newspaper, and I'm exactly the one in charge of such topics."
"Kill yourself, please," Egrer requested emotionlessly. "Just fucking die. Jump from the Headmaster's tower without Aura and splatter yourself to Grimm, drown in a pond, drink poison, blow up in the arena, choke on a fish bone, break your neck on the stairs, get cancer, die on a mission..."
"What does it even say in there?" Sun inquired, and Hat immediately handed him another newspaper. Blake cast a sidelong glance and started reading too. "Oh, Neptune's in the paper! My bro."
"Eg, so this is where you've been hiding!" Yang approached them. Egrer buried his face in his hands; he wanted to cry from despair. He could practically feel her desire to share a couple of new dirty jokes through his skin. And considering he hadn't managed to drag Blake to the ball, she definitely wasn't going to hold back. "And cheating on her with Blake again, too. Tsk-tsk-tsk, how does Weisscream put up with such an unfaithful guy like you?"
"Cheating?" Joker immediately perked up, running an appraising eye over Blake. She practically hissed, perfectly understanding what that look meant. "So it was a love HEPTAGON all this time?!!!" Egrer sighed again, his head landing on the tabletop with a thud. He started repeating all his death wishes. "Alright, alright, alright, let's recap who fell in love with who! So Weiss - Eg or Magenta, Eg - Weiss, Magenta - Weiss, Jaune - Pyrrha or Weiss, Pyrrha - Jaune, Neptune - Weiss, Blake - Eg."
"Spot on," Hat nodded. "Interesting fact - almost everything is tied to Snow White."
"How could I have missed this?! I urgently need to publish a new article with a detailed chart of who feels what for whom! Otherwise, the readers will just get confused! Have there ever been relationships this tangled in history?"
"Someone, kill me..." Egrer groaned. And then a bright idea flashed in his head. "It's time for me to go to the Headmaster! I'll be in deep trouble if I'm late! Out of the way, move it!"
He fled, shoving everyone and everything out of his path. Disappointed, Yang decided to take it out on another victim, but Blake suddenly dissolved into thin air. Then she turned to Sun, but he, using his tail as a third arm, jumped onto the chandelier.
"Sigh, no one appreciates my sparkling humor..."
"I'll appreciate it," the fourth-year with piercings all over his face said. "If there's one thing I know, it's good humor, believe me. But first, sweetheart, tell me more about that cheating thing?.."