"Ladies and gentlemen!" a thunderous voice boomed from above. A holographic display revealed Gamer's mug, his munie bounty, and his hunie high score. The voice continued, "Now that all the contestants have entered the area, and per the request rules, we shall shortly begin the Gamer Raid. Please standby!"
"That sounds like Nathaniel," Asterion recognized the voice.
"What's a raid?" Minnie cocked her head.
"It's an MMO, or Massively Multiplayer Online, term," Gamer had time to explain. "In raids, a large number of players target one area or boss, and work together to succeed. I guess the Game Masters weren't confident that a few individuals would be able to beat me."
"They turned you into a raid boss," Asterion smirked.
"I wouldn't blame you for switching sides. A 1:100 ratio is pretty steep," Gamer said to Asterion.
The minotaur replied by stepping up next to Gamer. He secured his red sash and scarf, "You're a chaotic prick. You can piss me off all you want, but I made a promise...and lost a gambit."
Minnie equipped her boxing shells and jumped in front of the two men, "I'm your shield! I'll never switch sides!"
Gamer grinned and readied himself for battle, "I love you, guys."
A shimmering barrier formed a dome around the players. It spread across the beach, waters, and foothills. The raid included an Out of Bounds barrier.
Minnie shivered, "Bad memories..."
Asterion quipped, "Let's not get thrown into it, then."
"Ladies, stay back. This might get ugly!" Gamer held a hand up to bar the Vtubers. However, when he checked on them, they were playing extreme volleyball on the beach.
"Vtubers are notorious for goofing off when they are around each other," Samira explained.
The countdown began. It started at ten and worked its way down. The ring of players around the trio took out items from their inventories, shouted to amp themselves up, or counted down with the announcer, Nathaniel. When it reached zero, only half of the players ran forward. The rest stayed put.
"( ╹ -╹)? Are they lagging?" Samira asked.
"They're waiting..." Gamer noticed that none of the players who rushed forward were any of the notable ones.
Shade snarled at his team, "Plebeians rushing to their deaths like lemmings off a cliff. However, I doubt a cheater with a single digit I.Q. will last too long against the swarms of mediocrity. We must strike not too late, lest our glory be stolen."
"Patience is a virtue, dude," Talis said.
"I shall descend on them all like a vulture fulfilling its nature!" Shade dramatically extended her arms out.
"You hear that, chat? It's like Talis doesn't know I'm no pause, all play. Oh, thanks for the bits, UrlBurl. I don't mind giving them a head start. Makes it more thrilling," Sonia wiggled her eyebrows.
"Please, let me analyze Gamer and his people first," Talis suggested.
"Eternal punishment!" Shade grinned wildly.
"I'm beggin', bros!! |߹𖥦߹|"
"Live and learn, I guess. Mmm, great point in the chat – the more points Gamer earns, the greater the reward," Sonia trusted her navigator and continued to interact with the chat. The chat started to mention Gamer's minotaur friend, and Sonia immediately perked up. She saw Asterion, and her pupils expanded, "Hmm, that's right...who's Gamer's hairy companion?"
"I was wondering that, too. I did a little digging, and you won't believe this |ㆁ△ㆁ|," Talis brought up the minotaur's profile. "It's Asterion! The guy behind the 'Tennis for Two' movement. He may have a rather meager high score, but he's notoriously capable!"
"He started that? Damn, so he's anti-association. I wonder if that's why he's helping Gamer," Sonia put respect to the name.
"From the game logs, it looks like he tried to take out Gamer | •̀ - • | but for whatever reason is teaming up with him now."
"Traitors automatically welcome the veil of death. I am the shadows cast by its hellfire. By the bite of my metal, they will know fear," Shade recited what he believed was metal as fuck. He finished by pulling out his favorite magnum.
"Cool your jets, Shade!" Talis warned. "Remember your training; safe routes and deathless runs earn you more points. It's not always about speed. Right, Sonia?"
Sonia's eyes were transfixed on the upcoming car crash of all the amateur players. Talis decided to leave her be, to let her focus. However, in virtuality, Sonia's eyes were taking in the masculine form of Asterion. She lustfully watched him, and in her mind she repeated, 'I need his nut. I need his nut. I need his nut..."
The collection of amateur players who fast approached were made up of ninjas, wrestlers, anime princesses, dinosaur men, cyclops, and 8-bit warriors.
"Let's get ready to rumble!" Asterion slammed his fists together. The trio split up, with Asterion heading backwards. He positioned himself behind the destroyed kiosk and activated his Super, "Atomic Clothesline!"
He struck the wrecked building, and like an actual nuke, the attack scattershot blasted it across the beach towards the players. The fast-pitched debris slammed into a majority of the amateurs. Most were instantly killed by the weight of a flying building, while the rest were greatly hindered.
Gamer and Minnie were caught in the rain of ruination, but they used it to their advantage. Minnie dove forward and retracted into her shell. Gamer pulled out her green shell and tossed it forward. He jumped on and surfed it like a board. While Minnie volleyed enemies in her path, Gamer kickflipped his shell into the bedazzled players.
One of the cyclops picked up a long chunk of wood and swung it at Gamer. It claimed the green shell, but Gamer bounded from it and landed behind the giant. Minnie popped out of her shell in front of the cyclops and threw her newly obtained hammers to clock it in the face. It avoided the attacks and laughed, but Gamer caught the hammers. He spiraled into the backside of the cyclops's knee and nailed it with the hammers. It caused the cyclops to fall to its knees. Lowered, Minnie equipped her boxing shells and gave the player a mighty uppercut.
The punch knocked the cyclops onto its back. However, something grasped its legs. Asterion command grabbed it. He spun the giant around by his ankles, and the giant's size made him a meaty tornado of pain. The hurricane attack took out another swath of players.
"They're a balanced team," Chaffe checked his equipment strapped to his belt and hip.
"Teamwork makes the dream work! Ha ha!" Captain Vulcan was glad he stayed back.
Shade picked up on the stirring crowd. Their amusement dug beneath his skin. He revved his hoverboard, to Talis's dismay.
"My clairvoyance is activated! Behold, Gamer, the power of American Express Platinum!" Shade belted, and thus caught the attention of the players who stayed back. They recognized the dark racer and anticipated something good. He regaled the field with some hardcore, edgy words, "For I am thine doom given flesh. With a thousand successes and five hundred dollars worth of perks and special day sale items, I will reign down a carnage unspeakable by the tongue of mortals!"
"Shade, wait!" Talis tried.
Shade blasted forward on his hoverboard and officially entered the fray. Some players threw up their hands or shrugged when Shade entered.
Talis mini-panicked, "|๑•̀ᗝ•́|૭ Sonia, do something!"
Sonia stared forward speechless. Talis couldn't blame her, since Shade's actions were so irrational. Yet, her eyes remained on Asterion, and her mind remained on, 'I need his nut. I need his nut. I need his nut...'
After punching a pirate lady's shin, Minnie slid along the sand in her red shell. She saw Gamer being swarmed by a group of tarnished medieval dudes wielding greatswords in each hand and dodge rolling insistently. She called out, "Shell Shock!"
Her boxing shells jetted across the battlefield and volleyed a line of players. Asterion, a few yards away, took the lofted people as a challenge. He roundhouse kicked or delivered uppercuts to nearby enemies, and sent them towards the airborne enemies. Like a round of skeet shooting. The combo attack exploded each airborne player into digitized oblivion. Minnie rapidly spun up to her feet and used her hammers to target more players.
Minnie's boxing shells reached Gamer, and slipped between the legs of the warriors. He bent over and let the boxing shells slide onto his hands. He used them on the remaining melee players near him. The shells helped deflect any weapon, and gave all of Gamer's attacks a walloping impact. Once he dealt a final blow to a sorcerer trying to touch him with some Smurf-colored magic, Gamer cartwheeled next to Asterion. He used the cartwheel to catapult the boxing shells back to Minnie. She took them and landed between her partners. Together, with martial prowess, they whacked assholes and cracked skulls.
Intense, orchestral music began playing. Gamer raised an eyebrow, "Yo, why is there boss music playing?"
The next surprise was a boss health bar and name appearing at the top of the screen. It read "Shade, Loathsome Disaster of Scrubs."
"Not just any player. The only way you can get a boss title card and music is through a loot box," Asterion informed.
"( ಠ_ಠ) looks like we have ourselves a whale!" Samira angrily sent. Gamer braced himself for a new level of pity.
"GAMER!!" a manic voice yelled. Gamer turned to its origins and saw a blurry Shade, who moved at incredible speeds. He fired his magnum at the same time Minnie interposed.
"Perfect guard!" she timed it wrong. It was too late, and the projectile pegged her shell and knocked her from her stance. She passed Gamer, and Shade immediately aimed his Desert Eagle at Gamer once he was within flu-spreading distance.
In that moment, Shade grinned in victory and pulled the trigger, "Embrace eternity!"
"Perfect guard!" Gamer brought the back of his forearm up as the trigger was pulled. Minnie's failure helped Gamer see the timing. The parry deflected the bullet back. It punctured the hand, disarmed the speeding man, and Gamer caught the magnum. Shade tumbled from the hoverboard and crashed near Gamer and Asterion. The hoverboard sank into the sand with a heavy thud, just like its owner. Shade screamed at his maimed hand, which only had three digits now. Gamer twirled the magnum around and fired behind his shoulder. He scored a headshot on Shade, and the boss health bar at the top of the screen instantly depleted. The Loathsome Disaster of Scrubs was slain.
"Yes!" Asterion cheered, proud of the technique. Minnie laughed, relieved that Gamer didn't die. Samira sent ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )
Gamer didn't just steal Shade's Desert Eagle, he stole the rest of the player base's breath. The deafening silence that followed blanketed the battlefield. Most were too shocked or frightened to say anything, with gawked eyes and emotes. Many held back stifled laughter at the absurd level of disrespect.
Regardless of the reaction, the threat level of the raid boss became very clear.