"Watch out!"
Gamer loaded in and was immediately shoved aside. Minnie tackled him and saved his cranium from a flying hammer. It whizzed by and shattered some blocky cave rocks behind them. Gamer and Minnie fell prone.
"Woah! Thanks, Minnie," Gamer patted her. She still had wings, but sweated from overexertion. She breathed heavily.
"You talked!" Minnie gasped happily.
"I talked?" Gamer didn't quite understand the response, and that's when he realized they were in a cave. More of an uneven tunnel, its linear path forward and backward were consumed by darkness. What little light shined came from Persica, who'd retaken her flare flower.
Gamer realized he skipped all the way into a battle. Persica stood as a staunch defense for the yosauri and carriage. She defended them from a duo of shellies. They wore green shells as normal, but also matching green shellmets. They jumped around on elevated ground, and hucked a myriad of hammers down at the group.
"We are the brothers two!" one hammer shellie yelled. His voice echoed across the cave system.
"Our hammers will flatten you!" his partner said. Cool, they rhyme with each other.
"Uh oh..." Gamer held no memory of what happened between the forest and the cave.
"Gamer!" Asterion yelled from within the carriage. He forced the door open and leaned his upper body out. Asterion was no longer red, but his right arm was now mechanical, attached at his amputated shoulder, "Why do I have a bionic arm?!"
"Uh oh..." Gamer started sweating.
"This is why you don't wanna skip!" Asterion shook his robot arm. His disappointment was immeasurable.
Ego tongued Asterion and brought him into its cheeks. A couple of hammers rained against the carriage. The yosauri spat Asterion out, and the two refocused on the hammer brothers.
"Hey, thanks, pal," Asterion petted Ego. The chonker saluted, ready to help his rider through thick and thin.
"Prepare to die, losers!" one hammer bro yelled.
"Beggars can't be choosers!" his twin followed up. They paused for a moment, since it didn't match context. The twin shrugged, "I-I didn't have anything else..."
"We need to work together! We can't keep playing the dodge game!" Persica said. She'd been blasting the hammers out of the air, and drained to exhaustion.
"Combo super!" Minnie called.
"Or..." Gamer's eyes glided to the skip button in the corner of his player screen.
"Gamer!" Asterion bolted towards the cheater. The minotaur reeled back his bionic fist to knock him out. The hammer brothers volleyed more hammers in his direction, and Ego gave chase to protect Asterion.
Gamer grinned like an online troll.
-SKIP-
The group stepped out of the Bluestone Caves. The scenery before them included all of Lord Shellie's land; a beach circled a dense forest that acted as a ring for staggering foothills, which all lead up to the central, huge volcano. Atop the volcano was an ashen grey structure; Lord Shellie's fortress. Smoke funneled out of the volcano summit. Rivers and waterfalls of lava segmented the volcano and different points. Hanging like a hood, and badass as hell, was a massive dragon head statue. Its upper maw hung over the fortress and protected it from any lava flow getting inside.
"We finally made it! Nice!" Gamer grinned. His quick travel trick worked successfully. Skipping the cutscenes saved so much time.
"Checking behind the waterfall turned out to be a good idea. I hadn't expected a tunnel to be there, let alone be a shortcut here," Persica praised Gamer. She stood by him without the flare flower.
"Oh, well, secrets behind waterfalls are a given. It's a secret to everybody," Gamer suavely played the genius role.
Asterion and Minnie were nearby. Minnie didn't have wings anymore, but she had a hammer, shell armor, and a shellmet. Asterion continued being a cyborg. He shot Gamer a death glare, "You'd best stop it..."
"It is what it is, brochacho. Come on, it was pretty funny cutting off that edgy guy's monologue. Plus, I don't see players anywhere around us," Gamer took the W.
A giant bomb added, "I say you guys have done swell so far."
Gamer and Asterion were spooked by the new person. Its round, bomb-like body stood next to Persica. It had spindly arms and legs, like tubes. Its head and torso were a single unit like the blushrooms, with a pair of tall eyes blinking at them. A fuse stuck out the top of its body like hair. Gamer grew concerned, "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm Bob," the bomb held a hand up. Bob spoke with a nasally voice, but had no mouth. No nose or ears, for that matter.
"Who the hell is Bob?" Gamer switched to Persica for clarity.
"You know, I was appreciating the quiet, cooperative Gamer. This amnesia game is an odd choice to break the peace," Persica sighed as if dealing with a toddler.
"Where are the yosauri and carriage?" Asterion noticed a glaring omission.
"Asterion has amnesia, too!" Minnie gasped. "Ego and the others sacrificed themselves in the battle against the Hammer Brothers. We would have perished if not for their bravery."
"Ego's dead?" the news broke Asterion's heart. He continued to glance about with frail hope. No yosauri, no carriage. They were, indeed, unceremoniously taken away by the cutscene skip.
"Hmm, maybe if we skip aga..." Gamer's thought earned him the wrathful grasp of the minotaur. Asterion hoisted Gamer up from the ground and choked him.
"You fuckin' try," Asterion seethed. "This is why you don't skip cutscenes, you fool!"
Gamer tried. He went to skip again, but suddenly the button disappeared. He gasped, and that's when Samira's text box appeared, "Hello, hello! |˶˙ᵕ˙ )ﾉﾞ Somebody's been abusing power. Sorry, dad, but I can't let you do that."
"Please, I'm gonna die..." Gamer gargled with a crushed throat.
Samira (•_•) "You mean just like our boy, Ego?"
Asterion threw Gamer into the side of the cliff where the cave mouth was. He crashed hard, and the enraged rider chased. He speared a kick, but Gamer dodge rolled away and popped to his feet. The kick embedded into the rock and dislodged a chunk of the cave mouth. Asterion punched the wall until another chunk of rock fell towards him. He caught it and lugged it at Gamer. Gamer abused the dodge roll mechanic and avoided disaster. Before Asterion could make a move, Persica, Minnie, and Bob jumped in front of Gamer.
"This violence is not necessary," Persica put a hand up to calm the bull. "I understand you're upset, but Ego and the others did what they did to save us. Do not disrespect their sacrifice."
"Please, Asterion, stop!" Minnie almost cried.
"Loud noises!" Bob inserted himself in the mix.
"It's fine, I won't kill the dumbass," Asterion snorted. "But I'm gonna get as close as possible. Actions have consequences!"
"Okay, alright! I get it, you boulder-punching bastard!" Gamer recoiled behind his allies. It was evident that Asterion was legitimately angry at him. He faced the choir, "I screwed up! I'm sorry! Just, quit blowing my back out!"
They could tell Asterion didn't want to let up. He took a deep, indignant breath, and then said, "Gamer, your antics can be funny, but you've got more responsibility now. You can't be silly and fuck around, or you'll find out. There's more to all this than just you. Ya hear?"
Gamer mimicked Asterion and sighed, and knew what he meant. Character deaths offscreen were always a touchy thing in any medium. Plus, Ego was loved, and Gamer took that away.
"Think on it. I need some air," Asterion logged out.
Persica, Minnie, and Bob relaxed, and the shellie said, "I hope he comes back."
Gamer accepted his drastic mistake and sighed in stupid defeat. He opened his inventory to see what he absentmindedly obtained. He still had his broom, the tanuki tail, the star mint, as well as a flare flower and red cap. The power ups were more than likely gifted from Persica. Even when they weren't mentally present, Persica and Minnie did all they could to help. He asked the princess, "Alright, whatever, where do we go from here?"
Persica composed and answered, "If we round the beach, we'll find a vacation spot Lord Shellie made for his troops. Near it is a go-kart complex, and it's the starting line of a long racetrack that spans the forest and volcano. We can grab a ride there and drive to the fortress."
"Is it a bad idea to try and scale the mountain without using the track?" Gamer considered an alternative, 'skippable' route.
"Perilous, I would say, but that's not my goal. I want Lord Shellie to see us coming. Once he knows I'm here, he'll roll out the red carpet."
"Because you're the princess?"
"Because he loves me."
The group descended from the cave mouth and officially entered Lord Shellie's domain. The sun seemed to burn hotter here, or perhaps it was the proximity to an active volcano that towered over everything. After the group hopscotched over some rocks, they made it to the beach. The sand, waters, and tree line were all so vibrant. If Gamer didn't know a tyrant ruled here, he'd consider it paradise.
While he trailed Persica and Minnie, a text came up from Samira, "Oooh (,,•o•,,) the beach! I deadass could use a vacation right now."
"After all that with Asterion, I agree," Gamer properly addressed his sister. "Anyway, how'd the doctor appointment go?"
"No cap, I don't want to talk about it (ᵕ–ᴗ–) too much stress. I just wanna hang out with you and have fun!"
"Have fun, huh?" Gamer scratched his chin. He went into character customization and changed into green swim trunks and a lightweight, unzipped hoodie. He declared, "Alright! We're at a resort, which means we have to play the obligatory mini-games and collect prizes! Let's play!"
"What about the Lord Shellie quest?"
"He's not going anywhere. Besides, isn't having a fun time what games are all about?" Gamer didn't mind some R&R.
"Yeet! ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)" Samira cheered. "Low key, I hope it'll be like your dating sims. We gotta get the munie and hunie!"
"So what's this resort place like? Is it fortified? Will there be a bunch of enemies?" Gamer imagined swarms of shellies.
"On the contrary, it's a great getaway," Minnie happily explained. "There's plenty of space for sunbathing, games and activities to partake in, and everybody is super friendly. Lord Shellie wanted a safe zone where our people could take a load off. There will be bobs, billies, shellies, chumps..."
"Hold up, hold up," Gamer stopped the listing. "Bobs and billies? Like Bob here?"
The sentient bomb nodded, "My kind have been taken in by Lord Shellie. Very few enjoy our company. He gives us purpose."
"Suicidal purpose," Persica contextualized.
"Ah, I can't wait to die," Bob said with a peaceful tone.
"Billies and bobs are part of a species known as Expludes. It's self-explanatory," Minnie shrugged.
"How does your species even exist?" Gamer asked Bob.
"Life is full of mysteries," Bob whimsically pointed out. "I wonder if death is just as mysterious. I can't wait to find out!"
"Bob, I suddenly have sniffles. I don't want you getting sick, so could you stand ten feet away from me at all times no exceptions for forever and all eternity?" Gamer asked after sniffling.
"Awe, sure thing, pal. Thanks for keeping me in mind," Bob trailed ten feet behind everybody.
"I've also heard you guys use bobs and billies as expletives. Is that the same?" Gamer asked.
"Explosive language," Minnie stated.
"Of course..."
"There it is," Persica alerted the group. Ahead, peeking around the bend of the tree line, was a large straw roof building on the shore. Gamer anticipated a den of evil, but found a whole heap of summer fun.
The main building was surrounded by shaded walkways that interconnected a large area filled with food stalls, vendors, activity centers, sport courts, and other buildings. Shellies populated the area, along with some aforementioned others. More bobs bobbed about and played with others. Billies were similar to bobs, but instead of bombs, they were cartoonish missiles. They all had sinister grins and hung in clustered groups.
All along the beach, shellies lounged on the sand or rocks and took in the sun's beating. They were enraptured by its rays, to the point that the nearest ones to the group paid no mind. Their shells were removed and set aside, which exposed their nudity, but none made a fuss. Minnie became eager to bask.
A few tall humanoids hung out in sparse spots, and they'd give Asterion a run for his money. They stood tall and broad with obsidian skin. They embraced emo aesthetics, with chains, spiked chokers and bracers, extra zippers, black hair, mascara, and leather clothes. They had sharp teeth like the babas. Most were pure muscles, but a few were rotund and chungie. Minnie informed Gamer that these were known as chumps. Docile, if undisturbed. They apparently like to pick fights, bite people, and be leashed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Persica dramatically extended a hand, "Welcome to Sunshine Resort."