"...So it is said that Young Master Jueyun Chili, in order to alleviate the hunger of the common people, did not hesitate to test a hundred flavors with his divine body! That hideous-looking Titan Giant Prawn, with a shell as hard as iron and pincers that could snap gold and stone, was something ordinary people would avoid at all costs. Yet the Lord, his expression unchanged, gave it a gentle snap, took out its crystal-clear and jade-like meat, tasted it carefully, and then nodded, saying: 'Though this creature is ugly, its meat is sweet and springy, containing the essence of the deep sea. It can be a delicacy for my people of Liyue!'..."
"Pfft—" A young man at the next table was listening so intently that, in his excitement, he almost spat out the mouthful of tea he had just gulped down, hurriedly covering his mouth. His eyes were bright as he finally managed to swallow the tea, whispering to his companion: "Cough... did you hear that! The Lord even tasted something that scary! And said it was delicious!"
His companion nodded repeatedly, his face full of admiration and gratitude: "Yeah, I used to only think the Lord was majestic. I didn't expect that for us to eat our fill, he would even... Sigh, thinking back to how I used to complain about sea fish being fishy, I really shouldn't have."
Zhongli silently placed his teacup back on the table, making a faint, soft sound.
At this moment, he finally understood why, while walking the streets of Liyue these past few days, he could always smell an unprecedentedly rich aroma of seafood wafting from every household. Even at the entrance of WangSheng Funeral Parlor, some mischievous child had placed a small, carefully arranged plate of steamed scallops with garlic and vermicelli.
So this was the root of the problem.
But, these stories... were all fake.
He, Morax, Rex Lapis, the God of Contracts, the thing he resisted most in this life was those sorts of living creatures and products with a strong, briny smell of the sea.
He detested the slimy texture and fishy smell of aquatic products.
Testing a hundred flavors with a divine body? Perhaps he had, but that absolutely, definitely did not include proactively tasting any "Titan Giant Prawn," let alone being full of praise for it.
As for teaching cooking methods in dreams... He looked up at the eloquent Storyteller on the stage, then glanced around at the tea patrons whose eyes were slightly red with emotion and who were nodding frequently, and for a moment, he was actually speechless.
Defend himself? To whom? And how? Should he announce to the world that Rex Lapis keeps most seafood at arm's length and that the bestseller is pure fiction?
Not to mention whether it would spoil everyone's fun, or whether they would actually believe him—just imagining the scene: He, Zhongli, the consultant of WangSheng Funeral Parlor, denying with a serious face that Rex Lapis had ever tested seafood with his divine body for the sake of Liyue's people... It was utterly absurd.
This Lovia had previously only added a bit of "lifestyle" polish to the stories of him and the Adeptus. Although there were slight deviations, it was still within an acceptable range. This volume, however, was a complete flight of imagination, creating history out of thin air and thoroughly portraying him as a "seafood enthusiast" and a "pioneer of culinary exploration."
Absurd, truly absurd.
A trace of helplessness flashed in his golden eyes.
The gratitude of the people was sincere, and the realization and emotion regarding another side of the ancient god's "care" sparked by the book were not false either.
They just... believed in the wrong details.
And this kind of affection and imitation based on incorrect details made him, the party involved, feel embarrassed.
"...Since then!" The Storyteller struck his gavel, his voice carrying just the right amount of choking emotion and reverence, "the methods of cooking seafood in Liyue Harbor began to spread! The Lord's grace is heavier than the mountains and as fine as the dust!"
The audience burst into warm applause and praise, with many people raising their hands to wipe the corners of their eyes.
Zhongli sighed softly in his heart.
This sentiment itself was real and precious, but the "vessel" carrying this sentiment was really... a bit troubling for him.
He picked up the tea, which had already turned slightly cool, and took a shallow sip, trying to use the elegant fragrance of the tea to dispel the terrifying images of those "offerings" surfacing in his mind.
Zhongli's gaze swept across the bustling street, seeing the long queue at the entrance of "Wanmin Restaurant" not far away, as well as the newly added "The Lord's Choice: Ancient Style Black-back Bass" on the sign.
Lovia... Could this Lovia be some immortal who knows the past, using a pseudonym to play in the mortal world?
Someone who knows he dislikes seafood... or... While he was lost in thought, the Storyteller struck his gavel, ending today's storytelling. The tea patrons dispersed, still wanting more, their discussions still centered around "The Lord and Seafood."
Zhongli pondered for a moment and finally decided to pay a visit to Sanyu Bookstore. He wanted to see for himself exactly what this "the dust journey of shi po, volume three" had written... Arriving at the bookstore, he saw a crowd of people, with Shopkeeper Sun and the Shop Assistant so busy they hardly had a moment to breathe. In a prominent position by the counter, there was a thick stack of new books with the large characters "the dust journey of shi po, volume three" on the cover, and a background where patterns of lobsters and waves were faintly visible.
Zhongli calmly picked up a copy, paid the Mora, walked to a quiet corner, and began to flip through it quickly.
The more he read, the tighter his brows furrowed.
The book not only described in detail how "Lord Zhongli" tasted various kinds of seafood, but even included some ridiculous "interactions" between him and the "seafood," such as having his finger pinched by a Crab (how could he be injured by a mundane Crab?), or turning pale after tasting some strange squid (he would never let such a thing enter his mouth!).
The writing was still humorous, the plot vivid, and it even came with small illustrations!
If the protagonist weren't himself, he would have almost been drawn in by this captivating story.
Closing the pages, Zhongli lightly pressed his temples.
It was just that the consequences triggered by this story... were really a bit hard for him to bear.
He looked up at the street; the air seemed to still be permeated with the aroma of seafood being cooked by various households.
The fish and shrimp offered before the divine statues, the joy on the people's faces when they talked about "The Lord's taste," the enthusiasm of the chefs researching "ancient methods"—all of this was built upon a fictional story.
Forget it.
He finally gave a soft sigh and put away the copy of "the dust journey of shi po, volume three."
The incense money of WangSheng Funeral Parlor lately would probably need to have a larger portion allocated for purchasing air-freshening items. And he himself would likely have to find an excuse to go to Jueyun Karst for a few days of peace to avoid this overly "enthusiastic" sea breeze permeating the entire city.
After thinking it over, Zhongli felt that he might need to find a time to have a proper "talk" with that author whose pen name was "Lovia."
At the very least, he hoped that in the next volume of the travelogue, the dietary preferences of that "Young Master Jueyun Chili" could... return to the right track toward something light and elegant.
Previously, he had just felt it was inconsequential, even watching with a bit of a bystander's leisure as mortals interpreted the stories of the gods in their own way. A few deviations were harmless and instead added a bit of vivid color to this mortal world.
However, this volume... Zhongli slowly walked out of Sanyu Bookstore, the travelogue in his hand carrying a searing temperature.
However, before going to find that author, he needed to first go to a quiet place like Jueyun Karst, to let the pure mountain wind and the crisp aura of the Adepti thoroughly cleanse this... invisible smell of the sea all over him.
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