Back in my room, I sat blankly at my desk, replaying recent events over and over in my mind: Mom's nausea and vomiting, her inexplicable outbursts of anger, her telling Aunt Rong she needed to go to the hospital. The more I connected the dots, the more terrified I became.
If what I suspected was true, then I truly was worse than an animal.
Ever since she returned, Mom had locked herself in her room. Dinner was brought to her by Beibei.
In the past, I would have eagerly volunteered for such tasks, but now I was genuinely afraid to face her.
My bedroom was still occupied by Beibei, so I spent the night tossing and turning on the living room sofa, unable to sleep. The next day, I had no interest in studying, so I decided to go to An Nuo's house to fetch some clothes for her.
An Nuo had given me the key. When I opened the door, a damp, musty smell hit me.
Old houses left unoccupied and unventilated for days often ended up like this.
I didn't have the energy to complain. After rummaging through the wardrobe in her room for a few pieces of clothing, I was about to leave when I heard the sound of a key turning in the front door.
I froze. My first thought was that An Nuo had followed me here, but I quickly dismissed it. Her key was with me, and with her injured leg, if she could have come on her own, she would have.
A moment later, the door opened, and a man in his fifties walked in. He wore glasses and had a scruffy beard. When he saw me, he was taken aback, instinctively stepping back and glaring at me warily. He demanded sharply, "Who are you? How did you get in?"
"I opened the door," I said, shaking the key in my hand.
"Where did you get that key? No, who are you?"
"I'm..." I guessed this was An Nuo's uncle. I was about to tell the truth when it suddenly occurred to me that An Nuo had never mentioned whether her family on this side knew the whole story. If she hadn't told them and I spilled the beans, I'd be stirring up a hornet's nest.
"I'm asking you, who are you? Where did you get that key?" the man shouted.
"An Nuo gave it to me."
"An Nuo?" The man frowned, eyeing me suspiciously. "What's your relationship with An Nuo? Why would she give you the key?"
"I'm a friend of An Nuo's. Her leg is injured, so I came to get some clothes for her."
"Her leg is injured?" The man seemed surprised. "Where is she? Where is she now?"
Remembering the bruises on An Nuo's face, I felt a surge of disgust toward the man in front of me. I held up the bag of clothes. "I'm just here to get clothes for her. When I see her later, I'll have her call you back."
With that, I strode out, but the man quickly blocked my way, pushing me back with a hand. "Don't go," he said. "Let's get this straightened out first."
"I told you, she'll call you back later," I insisted, trying to push past him. He grabbed my shoulder and shouted, "I'm asking you, where is Anuo right now?"
I grew impatient too, glaring at him and raising my voice. "I don't know! Let go of me!"
"Hey, kid, what are you yelling for? You think you can hit someone?"
I ignored him, lowering my head and trying to force my way out. But he shoved me hard, and I stumbled back several steps. My temper flared, and I hurled the bag in my hand right at his face...
Half an hour later, we both found ourselves at the police station.
My face was bruised, but he hadn't come out unscathed either.
At first, I hadn't wanted to fight him, but the thought of the injuries on Anuo's face made my blood boil, and we ended up brawling. The man was older, but he fought fiercely—clearly no stranger to violence.
Later, a neighbor called the police, and we were taken to the station.
Not long after, my mother arrived, and I instinctively flinched, expecting the worst. Surprisingly, this time she didn't hit me.
With the mediation of the officers, we reached a settlement with Anuo's uncle.
Before leaving the station, Anuo's uncle asked about her whereabouts. My mother shot him a sidelong glance and replied, "I'll have Anuo contact you."
Once in the car, afraid of being scolded, I gingerly touched the sore spots on my face and groaned, "Ouch, that really hurts. That old guy didn't hold back."
My mother glanced at me but said nothing, starting the car instead. I chuckled and said, "Mom, you were so impressive back there. With just a few words, that old guy didn't dare make a peep."
She snorted coldly and scolded, "Did you enjoy fighting with him?"
"No, I didn't want to fight. He started it."
My mother fell silent, focusing on driving, her expression as cold as ever. My mind drifted back to recent events, and I couldn't help but ask, "Mom, where did you go the other day?"
Her brow furrowed slightly as she turned to look at me, her voice icy. "Why do you ask?"
"I'm just worried about you. You're not in good health, and I was afraid you might not be eating well outside, or that your stomach problems might flare up again."
"Worry about your own studies instead."
Chastened by her rebuke, I fell silent.
Our relationship had finally started to improve recently, but now it had soured again. The worst part was, I didn't even know why. If it really was what I suspected, things would be even worse.
I had thought about probing further, but then I realized—my mother was too proud. If my suspicions were true and I confronted her directly, it would humiliate her beyond measure. Repairing the rift between us would become nearly impossible.
Yes, whether it was true or not, I couldn't seek confirmation. I couldn't even let myself think about it.
Noticing my prolonged silence, my mother spoke up instead. "You've been quiet for a while. What's on your mind?"
Lost in guilt, I was startled by her question, my mind going blank for a moment. I quickly made up an excuse: "Dad's birthday is coming up. I was thinking about what to get him."
"Stop thinking about all these trivial things all day long. The best birthday gift for your father is for you to listen well and study hard."
I opened my mouth but couldn't find the words to say.
Mom added, "Stop dwelling on all these miscellaneous thoughts. Put your heart and soul into your studies."
"Oh," I replied, and fell silent.
After returning home, Mom called Annuo into her room, and I had no idea what they discussed.
Beibei noticed the bruises on my face and reached out to touch them. The pain made me hiss, and I glared at her fiercely. "Are you crazy?"
Beibei asked, "Did you get into another fight?"
I casually replied, "Yeah." Beibei chuckled, "You really can't stay out of trouble for a moment, can you? You went out for just a little while and already got into a fight. Did you get scolded? You're in your senior year of high school, and the college entrance exam is just around the corner. Can't you focus on something serious?"
"You're in high school too. Stop fooling around all day and start taking things seriously. Before you know it, you'll be taking the college entrance exam too."
"My grades are just fine. No need for you to worry."
I wasn't in the mood to argue with her and went back to my room alone.
Mom and Annuo talked for about ten minutes. I didn't know what they discussed, but I guessed it probably had something to do with her uncle and grandmother. They didn't say, and I didn't ask.
Beibei went back to school in the afternoon. With no one to fight over the room with, I didn't have to sleep on the sofa anymore.
But there was still a knot in my heart. Lying in bed at night, I tossed and turned like a pancake on a griddle, unable to fall asleep.
Because of a moment of indulgence, I had made such a huge mistake, bringing endless trouble. Thankfully, Mom was strong enough. If it were another woman, she might have already broken down.
I spent the whole night thinking about how to make up for my mistake and make Mom happy. By the next morning, I had finally made up my mind. Before leaving for school, I stood in front of Mom and said solemnly, "Mom, I've decided."
Mom looked puzzled and asked, "Decided what?"
I said, "I want to get into Tsinghua University."
Mom stared at me for a moment and said indifferently, "Then go for it."
I quickly added, "I'm serious. I want to get into Tsinghua. You've always said I have no ideals and no ambition. I've made up my mind. I want to get into Tsinghua, and I will get into Tsinghua."
"It's good to have ideals and drive, but don't aim too high. You need to be realistic about your own abilities."
Even though she said that, you never know how much you're capable of until you push yourself.
To be honest, I didn't particularly want to go to Tsinghua. I just wanted to use this as a way to show Mom my determination to repent.
From that day on, I started putting aside all distractions and threw myself wholeheartedly into studying and reviewing.
Mom's attitude toward me remained lukewarm, but I couldn't worry about that anymore. No amount of talking could mend the rift between us. Only by achieving good grades and getting into a good university could I prove my determination to repent.
I was serious about getting into Tsinghua.
Days flew by, and it was the weekend again. That day, I was reviewing in my room when I felt thirsty and reached for my water cup. To my surprise, I found Mom standing beside me.
"Mom, what are you doing here? You scared me." I must have been too absorbed in my studies to notice when she came in.
Mom stared at me for a moment and asked, "You have dark circles under your eyes. Haven't you been resting well?"
"It's okay. I'm not too tired." Lately, I really hadn't been getting enough sleep. Sometimes I went to bed at one in the morning and got up at five.
"Studying is important, but don't ruin your health over it. It's not worth it."
Over the past week, my mother and I had barely spoken. So when she suddenly showed concern, I was pleasantly surprised, scratching my head like a child and smiling as I said, "It's normal for young people to stay up late. Compared to pulling all-nighters gaming, this is nothing."
Mom didn't say anything, just stood there staring at me. I wanted to turn back to my studies but felt awkward, so I tentatively asked, "Mom, is there something you need?"
After a moment of silence, she said, "Didn't you say you wanted to study archaeology? I asked around, and the history and archaeology program at the provincial normal university is quite good."
"Hmm..."
Seeing me frown, Mom asked, "What's wrong?"
"I've thought it over carefully. I am quite interested in archaeology, but it's just one of my interests. I... I've decided to take your advice and study business administration instead."
"Why the change of heart?"
"Archaeology isn't just about burying yourself in old books—it's also about enduring wind and sun in the field. Right now, I'm interested, but what if that enthusiasm fades and I end up finding it boring? I've thought it through, and I'm just not cut out for academic research. I can't settle my mind enough for it."
Mom didn't seem upset by my words. Instead, she asked, "So why did you decide on business administration?"
"Maybe it's your influence. The way you handle things decisively at the company, commanding respect and getting things done, left a deep impression on me. I want to be a strong woman like you, Mom."
Mom seemed taken aback by this.
I quickly corrected myself, "No, no, I mean I want to be a high-level business professional like you—wearing a sharp suit, polished leather shoes, with a secretary carrying my bag and an 8848 phone in hand. So stylish."
Mom glared at me. "You're talking nonsense again."
Realizing my slip, I slapped my hand over my mouth, frowning and sighing, "Why can't I control this mouth of mine? Always spouting nonsense."
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