Ruaan straightened up immediately. He cleared his throat and fixed his uniform.
He looked at Harolin with the composed expression of a man who had absolutely not just been rolling on the floor crying for the last five minutes.
"There's nothing funny about it," he said.
Harolin stepped inside and let the door close behind him as he walked closer. "Are you sure?"
Ruaan thought about Cullen. The sound he made and his trembling legs.
He covered his mouth but the laugh came back out anyway, his whole body shaking with it. He grabbed onto the nearest solid thing to stop himself from hitting the floor again—
He pulled his hand back immediately as he stared at the wall.
Harolin looked down at where Ruaan's hand had just been and then looked at the wall too. He cleared his throat, pretending Ruaan didn't just grab his dick. "How many pills did you use?"
"Two," Ruaan said, still not looking at him.
"I said one."
"I thought two would be faster."
Harolin rubbed his face slowly. "Thanks to you, he'll be like that for four days."
Ruaan lost it again.
This time he bent forward with both hands on his knees, completely gone, tears running properly now.
Four days. Four whole days.
The most feared man in Blackmere was going to spend four days running to the toilet and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
He came back up and wiped his eyes.
"Thank you," he said, genuinely. He took a breath. "Now that the condition is done — are you going to help me rank up?"
Harolin looked at him. "The deal was to protect you from Cullen. Not help you in the games." He said it simply. "I'm still going to sabotage you every Thursday. Nothing's changed."
Ruaan already knew that.
He nodded. "That's enough."
Harolin frowned.
"That's—"
"It's enough," Ruaan said again smiling.
Harolin stared at him for a moment then he jerked his head toward the door. "Get out. This is Cullen's space."
Ruaan turned around, walked back to the table, and sat down. He picked up the chicken.
"This is also Cullen's chicken," he said, and bit into it. "He told me to eat everything."
Harolin stood there for three seconds.
Then he muttered something under his breath that Ruaan didn't catch and walked out.
Ruaan ate every single thing left on that table.
.
.
Seo was already waiting at the library entrance when Ruaan got there, leaning against the wall with a new comic, glasses slightly crooked, completely unbothered.
"You're four minutes late," Seo said.
"I was eating."
"Fair." He pushed off the wall and pushed the door open. "Welcome."
Ruaan stepped inside.
It was bigger than he expected. Much bigger. Shelves running floor to ceiling, actual sections with labels, and tables in the middle for sitting. He stood in the entrance and looked around and felt something loosen slightly in his chest that he hadn't noticed was tight.
Books. Just — books. Normal, quiet, existing books.
Seo was already gone.
Ruaan found him three rows in, already deep in the comic section, pulling things off shelves. He turned and held something out to Ruaan without looking up.
Ruaan looked at the cover.
Two women standing very close to each other with very little clothing.
He pushed it back down. "I don't want that."
"The art style is excellent—"
"Seo."
"Fine, fine." He put it back. "What do you want?"
"BL."
Seo turned around.
He looked at Ruaan with his head tilted, glasses catching the light, expression doing something unreadable. "Are you gay?"
Ruaan was already moving down the shelf, pulling covers out to check them and sliding them back. "Yes," he said, without looking up. "Why?"
Seo appeared at his elbow. "Just like that?"
"Just like what?"
"You didn't hesitate or make something up."
Ruaan pulled another book out, flipped to the back cover and put it back. "Why would I make something up? I've been gay since high school. My family knew. My friends knew." He glanced at Seo. "Is that surprising?"
Seo made a sound that was almost a squeak. "My family can't find out." He dropped his voice even though they were the only people in this section. "My father is Korean, very traditional. My mother was English. If she were alive, she would have—" He stopped.
The sentence sat unfinished between them.
Ruaan didn't push it.
Seo shook his head and grabbed a book from the shelf immediately, waving it at Ruaan with renewed energy. "This one. My highest recommendation. Read this one first."
Ruaan took it. It was a thick and good cover. He flipped through a few pages in the middle and his eyebrows went up slightly. "Does it have smut?"
"Substantial amounts."
Ruaan tucked it under his arm and reached for the next volume.
"Why are you specifically looking for smut?" Seo asked.
Ruaan picked up volume two. Then volume three.
He looked around the aisle. Nobody else is nearby. He picked up the books and held them in front of his face like he was reading the spine.
"I haven't done it before," he said, into the books.
Silence.
"...What?" Seo said.
"You heard me. Shut up."
"I absolutely heard you and I absolutely will not shut up — you mean you've never—"
"Seo."
"Not even once?"
"I said shut up." Ruaan lowered the books and grabbed the remaining volumes off the shelf without looking at him. "I'm just doing research. It's fine so drop it."
Seo was quiet for exactly four seconds which was clearly taking everything he had.
Then he pushed his glasses up, folded his hands in front of him and cleared his throat with the gravity of a man about to say something important.
"If you want help," he said, "I could assist."
Ruaan turned and looked at him slowly.
He pointed at Seo with one of the books. "Are you top or bottom?"
Seo's whole face lit up.
He pushed his glasses up one more time, ran a hand through his already chaotic hair, and grinned like he had been waiting his whole life for someone to ask him that question.
"Me?" He straightened to his full height.
"I can do both."