SF Chapter 100: Great Expectations III
[Jay Commentary]
"All the grandkids are coming over for Jay's Night. Family tradition," Jay commented with a smile.
"Everybody wears p.j.'s, which they love. I make my famous Sloppy Jays, which are really just Sloppy Joes... but made by me, which they love."
"And then we all watch a movie together, which they don't really care about... except for Daniel, who always wants to spend forty minutes debating what movie we're going to watch," he finished grumpily.
[Commentary ends]
Jay was cooking his famous Sloppy Jays. Daniel was already dressed in his pajamas, talking on the phone, while Gloria was setting the table.
"Yeah, Lexi, like I told you, tonight is Dad's Night - a very long family tradition - and I've never missed a single one. One hundred percent attendance!" Dani remarked proudly.
"So we'll have to postpone watching that movie."
On the other end of the line, Lexi said, "It's okay."
Then she joked, "Your dad knows how to cook. How come you're completely useless in the kitchen?"
"Hey!" Dani sounded offended.
"When I get to his age..." He paused for a moment.
"...I'll probably still have no idea how to cook anything." He ended up admitting it.
But Dani defended himself. "I think all the adults gave me kitchen trauma when I was a kid. I was always getting scolded!"
"Dani, stay away from the stove..."
"Dani, you can't just throw everything into the blender..."
"Dani, why does every single fruit have a smiley face drawn on it?"
"Dani, why is Luke wearing a watermelon as a hat and using a carrot as a sword?"
"I wonder how I never saw your picture on a milk carton..." Lexi deadpanned.
He ignored her and told one last story. "And my personal favorite," Dani remarked. "A story from when I was eleven."
(Flashback - 1997)
Claire had just returned from a run and headed straight to the kitchen to prepare her post-workout snack.
She grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl.
Before taking a bite, she frowned when she noticed a sticker attached to it.
"Mine is bigger," she read aloud.
Claire picked up another banana.
"Mine is bigger."
Then another.
"Mine is bigger."
And another.
"Mine is bigger."
Her annoyance kept growing until she grabbed a particularly impressive banana.
"Mine is... oh, man!"
"Pfft-" Despite herself, she laughed.
A moment later, she composed herself, took a deep breath, looked around, and shouted:
"DANIEL!"
A few moments later, little Dani appeared. "Hey, sis. You're back," he said nonchalantly.
"Why are the bananas labeled like this?" she demanded, immediately grabbing his ear.
"Ouch! Ouch!" he complained. "I was measuring my palm against them!"
Claire just snorted and pulled his ear even harder.
Then a loud burst of laughter echoed through the kitchen.
The two of them turned and saw Phil standing there, laughing while reading the bananas.
Claire made a face that clearly said: "I am surrounded by idiots."
(Flashback Ends)
Lexi couldn't hold it and burst out laughing. "You're impossible!"
Jay simply glanced over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of his son.
[Jay Commentary]
"I remember that banana story," Jay commented.
"I even remember Daniel teaching it to his friends."
He paused for a moment. "He even had the foresight to say, 'Put the biggest banana toward the back of the basket, so it'll be one of the last ones people read.'"
"I don't know where he got all those ideas..." Jay muttered, shaking his head.
[Commentary ends]
Dani returned to the subject of Jay's Night. "But in terms of movies, I still prefer our movie nights. Dad always wants to watch Westerns."
"They all look exactly the same," he complained. "And what's worse, it's not even fair. He's usually asleep halfway through the movie."
Jay turned his head and glared at his son, while Lexi and even Gloria chuckled.
The Latina went to answer the door after the doorbell rang.
"We can watch the movie tomorrow in Malibu," Dani proposed.
"Okay, sounds like a plan. Oh, Mischa and I are going to Hilary's party too."
"Nice!" Dani smiled, he received the invitation this morning and texted Lexi about it before. "I'm thinking about bringing another girl with me."
"Okay," Lexi simply replied.
"You are no fun. It's my niece, Haley."
Dani could practically see her rolling her eyes.
"See you tomorrow then, Dani," Lexi said goodbye. "I need to take a shower now."
"Ah, Lexi, don't provoke me!" he whined before hanging up.
A moment later, he shivered. "Oh my God, what was that? Bad omens?"
Gloria appeared carrying Lily in her arms, singing incredibly badly, and continued for a while.
"So, Lily likes that... singing?" Jay finally asked.
Dani decided to stay out of it.
"Yes. It relaxes her," Gloria said with a smile.
The two men simply exchanged a look but said nothing.
A little while later, the rest of the family arrived.
"There's my little stinkers," Jay said with a smile.
Alex was the first one through the door. "Howdy."
"Hi, Grandpa," Luke gave him a hug.
"This is a pajama party. Where are your p.j.'s?" Jay asked, staring at Haley.
"Yeah, they're in my bag," Haley replied. "I need to talk to you about something."
But Alex immediately exposed her. "She wants to go to a party with Dylan, Grandpa."
"Shut up, Alex," Haley shot back.
"What?" Dani exclaimed, making a face after high-fiving his nephew.
"You're still thinking about that? The ultimate betrayal, Hay-Hay. Family comes first!"
Haley looked away for a moment before defending herself. "You went to way more parties than I do when you were my age, Dani."
"This isn't fair!" She pouted.
Dani leaned closer. "That's your excuse? And here I was, thinking about inviting you to a party this weekend. But I'm not taking a traitor with me!"
Haley's expression changed immediately. "Which party, Dani?" she asked, suddenly very curious.
She knew her uncle had access to the best ones.
"Hilary's Sweet Sixteen," he revealed.
Haley's eyes widened. "Hilary Duff?!"
"Yep. The blonde goody-two-shoes Disney princess."
She immediately jumped on him. "Oh my God! Oh my God!"
"I don't even-"
"I'll put on my p.j.'s!" Haley cut him off immediately. "You know family is everything to me, Dani," she said coyly.
"Yeah, judging by the way you're glued to our uncle, it's almost illegal," Alex remarked sarcastically.
"Shut up, Alex," Haley scoffed, still clinging to him. "I'll help you convince Grandpa to watch the movie you want," she proposed.
"Huh." Dani thought about it for a moment. "Not convince. You need to make it happen."
"Deal!"
She agreed, let go of him, and immediately ran toward her grandfather.
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Dylan ended up joining Jay's Night.
After everyone had eaten Jay's famous Sloppy Jays, played poker, and a few other card games, the evening came to an end with the whole family gathered on the couch watching Catch Me If You Can.
Jay had fallen asleep practically from the beginning of the movie.
Manny was the only one sulking, watching Haley and Dylan sitting so close together.
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Author's Note: For those who don't know, in October 2003, Hilary Duff was huge in popularity. She was on the same level as Lindsay Lohan. She also later starred in How I Met Your Father.
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