SF Chapter 65: Friends Pilot II
Rachel sat between Ross and Daniel, without saying anything.
After a moment, Monica broke the awkward silence. "So, you want to tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?"
Rachel took a deep breath and began, "Oh, God. Well, it started about a half-hour before the wedding."
"I was in this room with all the presents… and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat."
"When all of a sudden… I realized…" She paused for a moment, "I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry."
"Well, technically it is used to make things moist…" Daniel pointed out, promptly receiving an elbow from Monica.
Rachel continued after shooting him a look. "Then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head."
Daniel ended up nudging Chandler. "Ross chances just dropped a few levels… He's basically a giant potato."
"I just didn't know where to go," Rachel finished her story.
She held Monica's hand even tighter. "I know you and I have drifted apart… but you're the only person I know in the city."
Monica added, somewhat ironically, "Who wasn't invited to the wedding."
"Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue."
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Later, the group was sprawled across the couch watching Survivor, while Rachel was pacing in the kitchen with the phone pressed to her ear.
"Come on, Daddy, listen to me! It's like all my life, everyone's always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!'"
She went on, "Then today I stopped and said, 'What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse? Or a hat?'"
The others looked at her strangely, until Chandler completely changed the subject. "If we were on Survivor, who would be the first to be eliminated?"
"Daniel," they all said almost at the same time.
"Ross," Phoebe was the only one who disagreed.
Dani, who had been sketching a few drafts for the sixth Wimpy Kid book, stopped and turned around. "Hey! Why me?"
"Because, man, you only know how to write, sing, woo girls, and make millions of dollars!" Chandler said sarcastically. "Not exactly the skill set for a deserted island..."
"I still think the correct answer would be Joey," Daniel argued. "He would eat all the reserved food, and... it's not like you need a Pinocchio performance on a deserted island."
Chandler laughed in agreement.
"Dani has some valid points," Monica nodded, smiling.
"Heyy!" Now it was Joey protesting, opening his arms.
"I would stay with Daniel. We'd make a good singing duo out there," Phoebe commented.
But they didn't continue, because Rachel raised her voice on the phone. "Look, Daddy, it's my life. Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica."
Seeing that everyone was looking at her, Monica remarked, "I guess we've established she's staying with Monica."
[Pheebe commentary]
Phoebe started looking around in every direction. "This is so nice. What is all this?" she asked. "It's like we're in another world," she rambled.
A frustrated voice replied, "Please, please, just focus on answering the questions."
"Alright," Phoebe continued in her usual way. "I sang yesterday with Daniel, harmonizing with his aura. It was very loud."
"But some people don't know how to appreciate it..." she added in a judgmental tone.
"It was six in the morning!" Monica's annoyed voice was heard.
[Commentary ends]
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Daniel said in an accusatory tone, "Wow, Monica, you're throwing your own kin, your favorite cousin-"
Monica interrupted, "That would be Claire."
"No way, Sis doesn't count. Anyway," he continued with a judgmental expression, "your own family, for a hot, beautiful blonde friend."
But soon his face changed completely. "I'm so proud of you, Monica," he smirked, pulling her into a hug.
She rolled her eyes but ended up saying, "Thank you for understanding. Rachel needs a place. And it's not like you're sleeping much here anyway..." Monica raised an eyebrow.
"The girl I'm seeing is a little bit loud," Daniel lied. Vivian was pretty normal in that category.
"At least you have some decency," Monica scoffed.
"Now I need to help my friend." She added.
Monica made Rachel sit down and handed her a paper bag. "Okay. Just breathe. Try to think of nice, calm things."
♪Raindrops on roses ♪ Phoebe started singing beside Rachel.
♪And whiskers on kittens
Doorbells and sleigh bells
And something with mitten
La la la something
With string ♪
Monica and Rachel stared at her in disbelief, until Rachel gently patted Phoebe's hand. "I'm all better now."
After she left, Monica turned back to her friend. "Look, this is probably for the best, you know? Independence. Taking control of your life."
"Independence? Taking control of your life?" Daniel asked. "Without money, she'll have to work… eugh."
"What are you doing?" Rachel looked at him strangely, since he had gone back to sketching.
"I'm working," he said with a smile.
The blonde blinked, still a little confused.
But before Monica or Daniel could clarify, the intercom buzzed. Chandler answered it and heard that it was some guy named Paul.
"Wait a minute. Your 'not a real date' is with Paul, the wine guy?" Ross asked his sister, surprised. "He finally asked you out?"
Monica tried to hide her smile. "Yes."
"Ooh. This is a 'Dear Diary' moment," Chandler said, stepping closer mockingly.
She made a face at him but turned to her friend. "Rach, I can cancel."
"Please, no. Go, I'll be fine."
Then she walked over to her brother. "Ross, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?"
"That'd be good." He looked down, a little dejected.
"Really?"
"No, go on!" Ross quickly shifted into supportive mode. "It's Paul, the wine guy."
Daniel announced, "Okay, I'm heading out too. See you later, guys." He gave his cousin a quick side hug. "Good luck on your date, Mon."
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Daniel was embracing Vivian from behind. From the way they looked, it was clear what had happened a little earlier.
"So, you're going to Europe next week?" he asked, lightly biting her ear while his hand wandered lazily over her body.
"Yes. London first, then Amsterdam," she confirmed. "Don't miss me too much," she teased, pressing her lower body against him.
"Huh, if I do, I'll just fly there and visit you," he dismissed. "Too bad Penny won't be able to come here this week..."
"You're really a greedy bastard," she mocked.
"What? We make a great trio. Especially now that we two know each other better," he smirked, already positioning himself for another round.
A scream was heard. "Is there someone in here?"
"Uh, let's finish this in my hotel room. The library is about to close," Daniel said, pulling up his pants as she adjusted herself.
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