Whoosh!! Splash!!
Inside the castle. Outside the delivery room.
Tesoro paced back and forth in the hallway, muttering nonstop. "Why isn't it done yet... why isn't it done yet... Captain, you need to focus. Captain, is this something you're familiar with?"
Rhett's attention was also completely focused on the door. The moment anything went wrong, he would flood the room with his vast life force.
"I know, I know, Boss Tesoro. If you keep pacing, you'll wear through the floor. Wait, what do you mean 'familiar'? I've never given birth."
Tesoro spun around. His blonde hair practically stood on end. "Captain! It's been half an hour! Is that normal?!"
Kureha's voice came from inside the delivery room. "Stop your shouting! Childbirth is never that fast! If you keep yelling, get out!"
"Stella wasn't nervous at all, but you two managed to make her nervous with your yelling. Shut up, both of you."
Tesoro & Rhett: "..." (Instantly deflated.)
There was no helping it. The last time Rhett watched TV dramas, the doctor always ran out and asked, "Do you want to save the mother or the child?" It was like those little ads. You forget about them over time, but when something similar happens, bam — they pop right back into your head.
Rhett decided to distract himself by looking at the three little ones.
Big mistake.
He would have been better off not looking. Exhibit A:
Perona was holding Laboon and Chopper tightly. The three little ones were huddled in a corner, trembling, comforting each other in broken whispers.
Perona's voice trembled. "It's okay! Dr. Kureha is the 'Witch'! She can even fix Lord Moria's zombies! Delivering a baby should be no problem for her! Right, Laboon, Chopper?"
Chopper was teary-eyed. "B-But Sister Stella sounds like she's in so much pain! Should I go help? B-But I'm not a doctor yet..."
Laboon shook its head frantically. "Woo! Woo! (No! Kureha will kill us!)"
Perona's logic suddenly broke down. "Oh, I know! We can pray! Pray to who? I don't care — 'Mist Lord' Lord Rhett! Lord Rhett! Crimson Mist! Blood Mist! Whoever you are, please protect them!"
Chopper joined in, confused. "A-And Dr. Hiluluk's miracle medicine! It causes stomach problems, but maybe it would help—"
Laboon slapped the ground with its fin. "Woo!! (Should we plan an escape route?! What if the baby is a bomb?!)"
Rhett's blood mist paused for a moment. "What nonsense are those three little idiots talking about?"
Moria crouched in front of the three little ones and grinned. "Kishishishi... Don't worry. There are so many strong people here. Nothing will go wrong. And even if something did, I could bring anyone back as a zombie!"
The three little ones' pupils shook. "...??!!"
Perona screamed. "Nooo!! Lord Moria, stop talking!!"
Chopper broke down. "A zombie newborn is way too scary!!"
Laboon grabbed the other two with its mouth, threw them onto its head, and ran. "Woo!! (Run for your lives—!!)"
Moria was very pleased that he had scared the three little ones away. "Little ones are so much fun."
"You old one is also very fun!!" x2
"Phantom World."
Rhett pressed the mute button on the world.
Moria slowly turned his head. Two JoJo faces were staring at him.
"Golden Punishment: Dragon God's Prison!"
"Mist God Style: Nine Dragons Carrying the Coffin!"
Moria: "Huh?"
A square box made of blood mist locked Moria inside. Nine blood dragons wrapped themselves tightly around the box. Then Tesoro's golden dragon flew off with the box.
"If you can't talk right, shut up! Moria, fly!"
Moria flew into the distance, becoming a golden shooting star.
The three little ones watched the golden trail and wiped the cold sweat from their foreheads.
"Brother Moria, if even we three ran away, doesn't that tell you something?"
"Light a candle for Brother Moria." x3
Enel picked his ear, looking disgusted. "Tch. Too noisy."
He raised his hand and snapped his fingers.
"CRACK!"
A small bolt of lightning struck the floor in front of the three little ones.
They immediately stood at attention. "..."
Enel snorted. "Keep making noise, and I'll turn you into roasted reindeer, roasted whale, and roasted ghost."
Perona muttered quietly. "W-We were being quiet..."
Chopper was so scared his tears froze. "Big Brother Laboon... I smell something burning..."
Laboon looked serious. "Woo. (We have no choice. That move. 1, 2, 3!)"
The three little ones each pulled down one of their lower eyelids with one hand, stuck out their tongues, and spat. "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah."
Enel scratched his head and focused on watching the area around the castle.
---
When the baby's cry finally rang out —
Tesoro froze in place. Tears streamed down his face. "S-She's here..."
Rhett shot to his feet. The blood mist exploded and he had to force it back down. Tesoro's golden armor started to form. He was about to rush inside. Rhett grabbed him.
The door opened. Kureha walked out holding a baby wrapped in a gold blanket. A rare, gentle smile was on her face. "Congratulations. It's a healthy girl."
Tesoro took the baby with trembling hands. "Thank goodness... thank goodness..."
Rhett came closer. His crimson eyes were uncharacteristically soft. "She's cute. A little wrinkly..."
Kureha tapped his head with her pipe. "You were much uglier when you were born."
Rhett: "Wrong."
"What?"
"Oh, nothing." Rhett answered.
Inside his mind:
JoJo Rhett: "I was never born. That already beats 100% of native One Piece residents."
Rhett poked the baby's face. "Have you decided on a name?"
Tesoro and Stella looked at each other and smiled. "Her name is Rati. Gild Rati. It combines parts of Tesoro and Stella. She is the fruit of our love."
Moria clicked his tongue. "Kishishishi... How romantic."
The three little ones saw Moria, completely unharmed. They were very surprised. "So fast!!! Amazing!!"
Rhett suddenly smiled. "Perfect. From now on, she's the little princess of the Mist Lord Pirates."
His blood mist swirled and produced a miniature blood-red captain's hat. He gently placed it on Rati's head. "A welcome gift. In a few days, when you're all plump and round, your uncle will give you a big surprise."
Tesoro: "...Captain, she was born five minutes ago."
"So what? So what? She doesn't know anything yet! That makes it more special!"
Rhett was completely unashamed. "So what? My niece is going to be a pirate someday anyway. How could a child raised in a pirate den become a Marine? Then again, she doesn't have to be a Marine. She can do whatever she wants."
Kureha: "...There's no saving these idiots."
Perona burst into tears. "Sniff. I'm so glad she's not a zombie..."
Chopper was sniffling. "I want to become the greatest doctor in the world... so no one has to be scared anymore..."
Laboon collapsed into a whale puddle. "Woo... (I'm exhausted...)"
Rhett walked over and used his blood mist to pick up the three little ones and shake them. "Alright, go take a closer look."
Tesoro placed the baby in the prepared crib. He wanted to share this joy with his whole family.
The three little ones leaned over the crib, looking at the sleeping Rati. Suddenly, they felt —
Perona whispered, "It was worth it."
Chopper was so happy he was seeing flowers. "She's so small and soft..."
Laboon gently touched Rati's hand with the tip of its fin. "Woo (Your big brother will protect you)"