This bird-man with round-framed glasses was probably so absorbed in his writing that he hadn't noticed Rhett and the others arriving at all.
To be fair, although this newspaper office only had a few people, every one of them was completely immersed in their own writing.
Rhett and his crew had kicked the door open, yet no one even looked at them.
When had Rhett ever had so little presence?
Just as Rhett was about to grab this fake editor bird, the man suddenly seemed to notice something.
He suddenly executed a sliding tackle, flapped his wings, turned around, and roared at his two subordinates:
"Big Breasts! How many times have I, the Chief Editor, told you?! News headlines need to be 'like a pipa player hiding half her face behind the instrument'!"
He snatched the draft his subordinate was writing and used the tip of his wing to point as he read aloud: "'Shocking! Captain of the Bloody Dawn Meets Secretly with Rayleigh for Three Hours' — Is that appropriate?! Is that appropriate!!! It's obscene!!!"
Laint raised his hand weakly: "B-but you said last time that headlines need to be explosive... Don't let Big Breasts learn bad habits from Big Truth; he used to write porn."
"Smack!" The down-and-out bird slapped his own head with his wing. "Explosive doesn't mean explicit! Watch and learn —"
He picked up a pen in his beak and rapidly rewrote:
Halfway through, he looked up.
"Do we have a back-view photo of the Blood Dawn Pirates?"
"Little Gu, Little Ying, go check quickly."
Two young boys frantically searched through piles of photos: "Yes, we do, President. The ones you brought back last time."
"Good!!!"
"Exclusive: An Unspoken Moonlit Conversation Between the Captain of a Certain Legendary Pirate Crew and a Retired Old Man (With Back-view Photo)."
Rhett: "..."
Tesoro: "..."
Enel: "What's the difference?!"
The down-and-out bird pushed up his glasses and said mysteriously: "The difference is — you let the readers fill in the blanks."
He waved his wing and gave a passionate speech: "When you see 'moonlit,' think 'romance'! When you see 'retired old man,' think '...'! When you see 'back-view photo,' think —"
"Think you're about to get struck by lightning." Enel's fingertips crackled with electricity.
The down-and-out bird suddenly realized that he might have just given Rhett and the others a perfect excuse.
"Why have you come to my newspaper office? Could it be that you admire my excellent talent? Ah hahahahaha."
"Need an autograph? Who knew that the autograph technique I've practiced day and night would finally come in handy today."
The down-and-out bird was daydreaming when Rhett's blood mist had already almost completely wrapped him up.
"Wait, wait, wait! I have other works!" The down-and-out bird had a sudden flash of inspiration and shouted to Big Breasts: "Quick, bring out the photos we took last week! You know, the ones —"
Laint tremblingly handed over a blurry telephoto shot: In the night, Rhett and Rayleigh could be vaguely seen standing outside the bar. Due to the angle, their shadows on the wall looked like...
He felt like his president was a bit dead.
Because those shadows looked like they were embracing passionately??????
The down-and-out bird smiled obsequiously: "You see, this kind of suggestive composition is what professional means..."
"Enel!!"
"200,000,000 Volts—"
"Help!!!"
After the down-and-out bird had been "comforted" for a while,
Rhett, his blood mist swirling around him, his gaze dangerous: "I finally found you, you damn bird—"
More froze, then slowly turned around. His eyes were filled with tears, which he stubbornly wiped away with his wing, refusing to let them fall.
"...Did you come looking for me specifically??? Are you appreciating me? I never thought I'd see the day when I was appreciated by a great pirate."
Rhett, sweating: "Actually, your people led us here."
More whipped his head around and stared at Jiang Ye, hard.
As if to say, "Yezi, you brought Rhett here!"
Jiang Ye looked at the sky and whistled: "The sky sure is sky-like."
The air froze.
Tesoro frowned: "Bird-Bird Fruit user, but you're not Morgans."
More fell to his knees with a thud, tears streaming down his face: "Big shot, spare me! My name is More. I'm a Mink Bird-Man, I'm just a down-and-out bird! I actually ate the Type-Type Fruit, I'm a typing bird. I've been impersonating Morgans for the sales!"
As he spoke, he even started singing: "We're all living with all our might..."
Rhett: "Enel!!!"
More: "Aaaaaaaaaah."
Rhett looked at his shabby newspaper office. Messy handwritten manuscripts were piled on the desks. In the corner, two people were trembling, hugging each other.
You really couldn't blame the intelligence agents. They never would have guessed that the organization impersonating the World News Company only had three people. They might have found the information but just ignored it.
"...There are only three of you?"
"There are eight! But we have a dream!" Seeing the mist dissipate, More hugged Rhett's leg. "Big shot! Take us in! We're very good at making things up! We're just undiscovered geniuses!! Big shot!!"
Enel: "Like 'The God Enel is actually the reincarnation of a News Coo'?"
More nodded frantically: "Yes! We published that! If Captain Rhett says yes, tomorrow's headline will be 'Bloody Dawn Conquers the Press, World Government Trembles'!"
"Aaaaaaaaaah!"
Enel, furious, shouted: "So it was you who wrote that! I've been looking everywhere for you."
More raised his trembling wing as if he'd just noticed something. He pointed at three men in suits who had just come upstairs and had no idea what was going on.
"Big shots, those are the other three writers: Big Truth, Big Banyan, Big Three. They participated too."
Enel gritted his teeth: "Good, good, good! It took four of you to write that crap. I'm so honored."
"What's going on—"
"Aaaaaaaaaah" x4
Rhett's mouth twitched. "...What can you do?"
Rhett figured that at the very least, he was a Devil Fruit user, and it was the Type-Type Fruit at that.
With his wealth, starting his own organization wasn't out of the question.
More instantly perked up. He led Rhett to a typesetting machine.
"Big shot Rhett, this is the spirit weapon I manifested after eating the fruit: the Typesetting Machine!"
Rhett's interest was piqued: "Show me your ability."
Before typing, More looked like he was on fire: "Ora ora ora ora."
"Big shot, look, the content I output can be printed directly as a newspaper. Isn't that convenient?"
Rhett was covered in sweat lines. He turned around and started to leave.
"No, big shot!" More desperately clung to his pants leg. "If you leave, we'll really starve! Look, my feathers are all falling out!"
Rhett tried to shake him off: "Let go!"
"I won't! Not unless you agree!"
Tesoro held his forehead: "Captain, why don't we just sink the island?"
The down-and-out bird screamed: "Wait! I, I still have value! I know clues about the real Morgans!"
Rhett narrowed his eyes: "Speak."
"Lately, he's been preparing a 'World Situation Newspaper.' It's said he's looking for people who could become the Emperors of the Sea..."
More lowered his voice, "But I'll only tell you in exchange for an exclusive interview with 'Bloody Dawn'!"
Rhett & Tesoro: "...? You never change, do you???"
Enel, enraged: "This bird is playing us?! This God will strike you down!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah." x8
In the end, when the farce was over, from Rhett's perspective as someone from the other world, this damn bird — to use terms from before he came to this world — was actually pretty good at clickbait marketing.
He had the same obsessive devotion to news as Morgans. Did all these bird-people have some kind of strange fetish for journalism?
There was no harm in seeing how he developed. Conquering a force was always... The ones you created yourself were the most loyal. Rhett didn't mind helping out a little. Just a bit of money. The question was whether this down-and-out bird could handle this sudden, overwhelming fortune.