Looking at this unit, I want it. Not just because I slept with someone in the circle, or was friends with someone who's seeing someone in the circle. But because I was welcomed here by the person I wanted to see me.
That doesn't seem to be happening soon which means I have to find a way to extricate myself. Mom had said not to think much about it and do what my heart wanted. That was after i'd gone through a series of scolding from her. My heart wanted to stay though, to get hurt some more.
"Been looking for you."
"I want to go back."
"Okay, tomorrow morning..."
"No, I wasn't talking about both of us, just me. You stay and do your duty, I..."
"I won't let you leave."
"Barnard?"
He sighed before sitting beside me by the pool. Pulling me to him which I against my brains antics leaned in.
"Your mom's slap nearly got me a broken tooth."
"What?"
"It was a good thing your dad was home. I hadn't been told you were already here, I'd missed you, not having seen you for more than a week, braved myself and went home only to meet mom and dad."
Is he serious right now? My parents don't know how he looks so unless his introduction...
"What did you tell them?"
"Long story but along the lines of I won't let you leave and I'll try to love you as much."
This bastard, now I was a blushing mess. Why had he gone there? There's a reason people own phones.
"I don't love you."
"I know! I'll love you for the two of us."
"What if I don't want you to?"
"Then this is the first huddle for us, we'll work it out though."
I got my phone out and sent a message to my mom. A minute or so later she replied and I clicked. I thought she didn't like him, even got angry about it.
"What did you give my mom?"
"Nothing, I assure you, I wasn't even aware they'd be home."
That one to me was a lie but I couldn't just say it was because I knew Riley would have found it out for him.
I didn't know he was really saying the truth. He and the others had not been in touch during that period. They knew where he was but didn't go looking for him. I was just a trap to get him to come here and it worked.
To get to my home, he'd run off from whatever retreat he'd been to and for the umpteenth time his name had been scraped off by them. Only way Riley had known someone was coming over was the lady calling and telling him never to let the guy come again.
He was told it was reliance, he was relying on Taffy to learn the meaning of what he was looking for. At the end of the day, he could hurt Taffy or hurt himself by persisting. They just didn't know when with Taffy, he felt different, more than when he'd been with her. It was the reason he was choosing to rely on Taffy.
"He might be stupid, falling for someone who doesn't know the meaning of love..."
"Taffy loves me?"
"You didn't know? That boy didn't just sleep with you and leave, he slept with you and still came back for seconds."
Seconds? Right, like the day I'd pretended to be drunk. Like the many times I brought him to my place. He'd been coming back even though he knew he'd be hurt.
"At the end of the day he'll learn not to go back, I hope before then you'll learn what place he holds so none of you gets hurt."
For now, I know what place I want him at. Where I would be seeing him everyday, where I'd try to show him I could also stay. I want to stay for him, not because he could be the therapy I need but because I wanted from my core to stay with him.
"Can we not have sex everytime we're alone?"
"You...why?"
He seemed to really not get it, I love his legs without clothes on, I also loved them able to stand by my side. It was the reason I'd let him use my floor while I slept in Kristoff's the past few days we've been here.
"Twice a week?"
I thought he didn't want to stay, and now he's talking about twice a week?
"You don't..."
"I do, but not here, I feel like we're doing it in our parents house."
"They wouldn't mind."
True, with the sound proofing and bullet proofing done if someone heard or disturbed it meant they just wanted to be in your face.
"Let's go upstairs."
"The pool seems fine."
I assure you he isn't drunk, I also don't know what he's up to, sitting on my lap rubbing himself like this when I have less patience. I don't think I could ever live Riley's life.
"Taffy, I'm not into voyeurism. And I seriously don't want people seeing you, however much of a family we are."
"The pool..."
"Is as clear as glass right now."
And I know someone who loves to swim at night, also the time used for cleaning I'll have to do to wipe off the evidence was best used wrapping him in my arms.
"Fine! Carry me back... Barnard!"
"Yeah!"
"I'm seriously horny, don't try to take off like the other day."
"I won't."
"I don't want to use my hands when you can do it just fine."
Yeap! This was the reason I was shocked when his mom said he loved me. Each time we're together all he thinks of is what position would satiate him better.
If his dad is right and he's using sex to not think about his feelings, then we have a pretty long way to go...the both of us.
"My parents don't talk for me, if I want to leave I will."
"I'll just look for you and bring you back."
Though I don't want him to run, I wouldn't put it past him to do so. Me not wanting him to run won't keep him by my side, it meant I had to put in the work.
From Kristoff's balcony stood two people watching them as they went into the house.
"Thought you stopped smoking."
"Same goes to you, I found you at it."
"There are times when I can't stop myself from taking a drag or two. Can't sleep?"
"There's work to be done, just needed fresh air and a smoke."
"I couldn't hide that huh!"
"Nope!"
"Your uncle..."
"Don't get there, I don't want to know whatever Riley had you look into."
"Fine! Let's game then, I have a film to edit after, help me get into the mood."
"Same rule goes, my face isn't going into your video."
"Don't worry, just a little game to keep me excited enough to work on that boring film they had me do."
"If it's poor just tell them."
"I don't want to work with them again, I'll do my job and let them work it from there."