-Hey father in-law!
-I just realized it's a major holiday at school, is he coming back home?
-Didn't you get the messages I sent? We couldn't get in touch with the both of you. We are going out of the country a little.
-When?
-Tomorrow morning...we depart at around five.
-Can he wake up that early...
And that's where he lost me for a while, Blane was looking for something. I tried to get his attention but he was looking away from me.
"Babe!"
"Huh!"
He turned to look at me before looking at my hand that was a few centimeters from my ear. He signed for me to continue and came to sit beside me.
"You okay?"
He nodded and leaned on me for good measure, guess we'll get to look for whatever it was later on.
-...maybe find a way to make him more attentive to his sorroundings.
-I think it's just okay, no need for extra measures.
-Hasn't he had an episode yet?
They called that episodes? Him being antsy because of his sorroundings and lack of a way to release his emotions. I thought only his mom was awkward about his anxiety. With the way she'd talked like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop and maybe I'd leave.
Maybe I am not the type to lose it and bounce once the proverbial shoe decides it doesn't fit anymore. Looking around me, I was sorrounded by people others expected to see fall for one reason or the other and I don't think that will ever happen, not on my watch anyway. I am sure I am strong enough to hold a sky that now has to cover more than ten people if they all decide to permanently see others.
-I'll know what to do when things go wrong, but before that thanks I am sure I can manage.
I hung up and turn to look at Blane who was watching me.
"Is it time to come clean?"
"If you're okay with coming clean to me, I won't mind but I want you to be comfortable first."
"I am sure they already told you."
"Since when have I been listening to others and not to you? Whatever rumours spread around, unless I see them were never there in the first place."
"The psychiatrist talked about two personalities when I was a kid. One wants to protect me the other was pretty silent so the other would overpower it at times."
"Then what happened after?"
Because it seems to be a totally different thing now.
"We saw it as a simple thing so we tried keeping her away, which worked until I had the urge to go to school and meet other kids then it became my fault."
When he fought because someone said something about him, I understand that. How many times have I fought because someone said something wrong?
"They got me a body guard, he was okay at first and even became my best friend. He helped me let her out behind everyone's back which at that time was fun. With him around, I could be anything and do anything. He was there to smooth things over, clean up messes without getting anyone involved...our huge secret. Then everything fell apart...she didn't come out, I wanted her out so bad that day. It was the last time I saw her."
Was it when ... I'd always wanted to know how he as a kid then had been so sure he'd come out unscathed but it seemed he thought then that he had an ace up his sleeve. Maybe he thought she was invincible among everyone because of the fights he had let them in on, that was why.
"What happened?"
"I went to some underground ring, he came to help me out on time but then turned on me. Before he'd taught her to fight but that day she refused to come out no matter how hard I willed her to...I couldn't fight him off...."
"Hey...you don't have to..."
"I want to...i want to tell you my side."
It meant he was sure whatever they had told me was from a view they so much wanted to be true...I hate to be doing this...mostly now. It felt like he wanted validation from me. Was it the same validation he had gotten from that guy? I'd found his traces which means they had lied about a lot of things. This was the one thing they shouldn't have lied about, he hadn't even gone to jail that bastard... he'd assaulted a minor, their own kid.
Whichever twisted way they put it, they were not supposed to let someone off, someone who had hurt their own son like that. I hate seeing these tears in his eyes, and they had found him in a worse state yet had let it go just like that?
"She never came but something else did...a new coping mechanism they said."
He pulled me up and led me to the bedroom. His side of the closet has been something he keeps under lock and key when he thinks it isn't safe. Infact his clothes are in my closet, we had to get us a new wardrobe two weeks ago because my side was full and he loves clothes and shoes.
He took a key out before opening it...maybe I should just turn the room next door into a closet. When had he moved these here? I'd wondered whether Taffy had taken them that day when he came with that bag but it seems they had been moving in slowly through the weeks.
"You don't look shocked...you already knew, so Taffy was right."
"I was told about it weeks ago. I don't mind and I wanted you to come to me. Do you know how many times I've imagined seeing you in a dress...or skirt?"
I walked into the room next door and came out with a suitcase, it had been a tiny bag at the beginning but overtime became a whole ass suitcase, large enough to smuggle a grown human.
I input the codes and opened it before turning to him, I hope he likes them.
"I hate the idea of you binding yourself, it might be troublesome at the end of the day and bring health issues. I don't think I like the idea of people looking at your legs as well...even those two friends of yours."
He was passing his fingers over the garments not wanting to smudge them or maybe not believing what he was seeing. And I was rumbling because I didn't want him to know I was as nervous as maybe he'd been or more.
The hug knocked air out of my lungs and I smiled. He let go and tiptoed to place a peck on my lips.
"You don't have to worry, I am not like him, you don't have to trust me. You don't need to push yourself and if things get overwhelming, we'll take twenty steps back."
"You are bad!"
"What, what have I done?"
I haven't done a thing...I am sure if it. The hug was tighter and he was crying louder now...Have I done something unknowingly?
"Babe!"
"Don't look at me."
I tried to pry him off but it seemed to make him cry harder so I just stood with him in my arms there...unmoving, like a damn rock. A rock caressing his back in shooting circles as that was the only thing I could do.
"I love you. You and your cute smile, perky habits, lovely habits...even your scent. I love you a lot."
I think it'll take more than skirts to make me hate him...like lies, that can be damaging. Before anything, I need to go to R and get that guy from his hole and question him. I really need the full picture of what really happened that day. I had a lot of povs to look at when it came to it.
I'd sent a message to Red and he was sure he'd get him by the time we arrived. It seems I owe this man so much now. He was a family elder now but still I feel bad about using his links...they could get bloody anytime and with Blane now, I really was hoping to not go back to dirtying my hands.
"I love you too."
I smiled, there had to be a silver lining somewhere. I love silver linings, I should also get my fair share, no?
"There's a red dress there, can you put it on?"
Tsk! It led to a make out session and a hand job, guess taking risks pays off and we'd even forgotten he'd been looking for something.