"The custom team uniforms have arrived. You two go try them on and see if they fit."
After the scrim ended, Xing Xing handed the brand-new clothes to Shen Kuangye.
"Alright."
After saying that, Shen Kuangye took the clothes and went upstairs.
---
Lu Xiangyang was lying on the bed, kicking his legs in the air while scrolling through his phone when a question suddenly caught his attention.
[What should I do if I fall in love with someone of the same sex?]
Lu Xiangyang's first reaction—
Same sex?
Does that mean someone with the same surname?
Are people with the same surname not allowed to be together?
Or is this some kind of abstract joke?
And this post had an unusually high number of likes.
Unable to suppress his curiosity, he clicked into it.
Then he felt like a whole new world had opened up.
So it wasn't the "surname" xing.
It was the gender "sex."
---
Post:
[Here's the situation. I recently fell in love with a boy. He's my roommate. He's straight, but he hugs me to sleep every day and treats me really well. Being with him makes me feel very safe. I think I've started to like him. What should I do?]
The comment section was full of people stirring things up.
[What? Are you sure he's straight?]
[Maybe customs are different where you live. Straight guys here don't hug their roommates to sleep.]
[Seriously, trust me. Straight guys don't do this. You should confess to him—maybe he'll agree.]
[You two aren't together yet??]
[Waiting for the update where you get together.]
---
After reading everything, Lu Xiangyang was stunned.
After processing it again and again, he thought blankly:
So this kind of feeling exists in the world?
Boys… can also like boys?
Since he was young, everything he had been taught was that boys could only like girls.
Even in middle school, he occasionally saw shy boys and girls secretly holding hands in their school uniforms.
Some even kissed if they were bold enough.
But Lu Xiangyang had never reacted to it at all.
When everyone else was experiencing their first stirrings of romance, he only cared about things like:
When class would end
What he would eat for lunch
Which character badge he would grind for in the game that night
As for dating, he had never even thought about it.
---
Besides the cheering comments, there were also many opposing opinions.
[Isn't this just homosexuality? You already said he's straight. If he finds out you like him, you probably won't even be able to stay roommates anymore.]
[Yeah. And if he's a worse person, he might spread your sexual orientation everywhere. The school is small—you'd have no life left.]
[OP should calm down.]
Someone even posted ways to tell whether you're gay.
1. Think about being alone with him.
2. You like his touch and the smell of his body.
3. You want to kiss him, or do more intimate things.
4. His body is attractive to you, and you feel possessive toward him.
...
For some reason, when Lu Xiangyang read these lines, Shen Kuangye's face instantly appeared in his mind.
He suddenly snapped back to reality.
Lu Xiangyang, what were you just thinking?!
---
Click.
The door opened.
Lu Xiangyang jumped.
The moment Shen Kuangye entered, he saw the person on the bed sit up abruptly and hurriedly shove his phone under the pillow.
Lu Xiangyang's eyes darted everywhere, clearly feeling guilty.
"What's wrong?"
Shen Kuangye glanced at the pillow and asked calmly.
Thinking of what he had just read, Lu Xiangyang's cheeks heated again.
"Nothing."
The way he lied was painfully obvious.
Impossible not to notice.
Since he said that, it meant there was a little secret he couldn't let Shen Kuangye know.
Shen Kuangye thought quietly.
For some reason, he felt a little annoyed.
---
He handed the clothes to Lu Xiangyang.
"Try the size. If it doesn't fit we'll change it."
The team uniform included:
a summer shirt
pants
a jacket
Lu Xiangyang took them.
Just as he was about to run to the bathroom to change—
He suddenly saw Shen Kuangye taking off his shirt right in front of him.
His expression was calm, as if he didn't care at all that someone else was in the room.
Shen Kuangye grabbed the hem of his shirt and easily pulled off the white T-shirt.
It was a young, powerful body.
The muscles in his arms moved slightly with the motion—firm and strong.
The lines of his back were smooth like a leopard's, stretching down to a narrow waist.
Every contour looked like a perfect sculpture carved by a master.
Attractive.
Sexy.
---
Lu Xiangyang suddenly remembered the description he had read earlier.
He instinctively lowered his eyes.
"His body is attractive to you."
Was Shen Kuangye's body attractive to him?
What even counted as attractive?
Lu Xiangyang couldn't resist secretly glancing again.
Unfortunately, Shen Kuangye dressed too quickly.
By the time he looked up again, the shirt was already on.
For some reason, he felt a small sense of regret.
---
Shen Kuangye didn't notice his little movements.
After trying on the clothes, the size seemed fine.
Just as he was about to take them off, he realized Lu Xiangyang hadn't moved.
"Doesn't it fit?"
It shouldn't be wrong.
Lu Xiangyang's clothing size was something Shen Kuangye had measured with his hands while holding him at night.
Lu Xiangyang quickly shook his head.
"It fits."
He stood up hurriedly.
"I'll go change inside."
Before Shen Kuangye could say anything, he had already run into the bathroom and closed the door.
---
Only then did Shen Kuangye realize.
Ah.
Someone was feeling shy.
He almost laughed.
Which part of Lu Xiangyang's body hadn't he already seen?
---
Shen Kuangye sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling on his phone while waiting.
Lu Xiangyang's stash of snacks was almost gone.
He planned to buy him more.
Greasy and salty food wouldn't do—maybe some beef jerky.
When he opened the shopping app homepage, it recommended a DM skin CDK.
Shen Kuangye knew Lu Xiangyang loved this skin.
It was just too expensive for him to buy before.
And now the skin was limited edition.
The CDK price had become terrifying.
Shen Kuangye glanced at it.
It cost half his monthly salary.
Right now he didn't have enough money.
He would have to wait until payday to buy it for Lu Xiangyang.
Shen Kuangye wasn't usually someone who made impulsive purchases.
But if it was for something Lu Xiangyang liked, he felt it was worth it.
No matter how much it cost.
He had already planned things out.
Half of his salary in the future would go to buying things for Lu Xiangyang.
The other half would go toward paying Lu Ning's fees.
If there was anything left, he would save it.
Once the amount became large enough, he would give the card to Lu Xiangyang.
That way, even after he left one day, Lu Xiangyang could still live using that money.
---
"I'm done changing."
Lu Xiangyang slowly opened the door and walked out.
The shirt fit him perfectly.
Shen Kuangye put down his phone and handed him the pants.
"Try these too."
Lu Xiangyang had very long legs, so the length of the pants mattered.
The leg measurements had also been taken by Shen Kuangye.
Though when he measured them before, Lu Xiangyang had been half-asleep in his arms and murmured that it tickled.
So Shen Kuangye stopped measuring.
Lu Xiangyang obediently went back to change.
When he came out again, Shen Kuangye looked him over from head to toe.
Satisfied.
The black uniform collar was slightly loose on Lu Xiangyang, revealing a small section of pale neck that almost seemed to glow.
Seeing Shen Kuangye silent for so long, Lu Xiangyang became nervous.
"Is… is it okay?"
Shen Kuangye nodded.
"Looks good."
EAR's uniform colors were black and red—a combination so terrible it almost felt creatively ugly.
At first Shen Kuangye couldn't accept it.
But now, seeing it on Lu Xiangyang, it somehow looked very pleasing.
His dislike for the uniform even faded.
Lu Xiangyang finally relaxed.
He had always thought his sense of style was bad.
Since childhood he just wore whatever he had.
He never knew what counted as "good-looking."
But if Shen Kuangye liked it, then it must be fine.
---
When Lu Xiangyang suddenly realized what he had just been thinking, his face turned pale.
What's wrong with me?
What was I just thinking?
Lu Xiangyang had always been slow at understanding emotions.
But the post he read earlier kept circling through his mind.
Could he really be gay?
And if he was…
Would Shen Kuangye hate him?
Lu Xiangyang realized he cared much more about the second question.
---
The thought stuck in his heart like a thorn.
That entire evening he was distracted.
After scrims ended, he quietly left the club alone.
Not long after leaving, he received a message from Shen Kuangye.
[Where are you?]
Lu Xiangyang walked beside the lake in a daze, feeling the night breeze.
When he saw Shen Kuangye's message, his eyes felt hot.
[I'm a bit full. Came out for a walk. I'll go back soon.]
After replying, he sat on the grass by the lake and stared at the dark water.
His thoughts drifted.
All afternoon he had secretly searched through many posts.
Now he finally understood.
He liked Shen Kuangye.
Maybe he had liked him from the moment they first met.
But he also knew that most people rejected homosexuality.
Very strongly.
A sudden wave of disgust rose in his heart.
Shen Kuangye treats you so well. How can you think something like this?
Lu Xiangyang, you're disgusting.
And if one day Shen Kuangye discovered these shameful thoughts?
Fear suddenly filled his heart.
Would he hate him?
Would he think he was disgusting?
Would he regret meeting him?
Would he… abandon him?
Lu Xiangyang closed his eyes painfully.
What should he do?
Can homosexuality be cured?
---
Just as he was on the verge of breaking down, something heavy suddenly settled on his shoulders.
Lu Xiangyang looked up.
It was a black jacket.
The familiar scent—
Shen Kuangye's.
Shen Kuangye had noticed something wrong with him since evening, but held back from asking.
Yet at night Lu Xiangyang had sneaked out alone.
How could he not worry?
So he followed behind him the whole time.
Quietly watching him wander along the road in a daze.
Then curl up alone on the grass.
Looking pitiful.
---
"Brother Kuangye, why are you here?"
Lu Xiangyang blinked quickly, trying to disperse the mist in his eyes.
"Looking for someone," Shen Kuangye said.
As for who, they both knew.
Shen Kuangye glanced at him.
"Did something happen?"
Lu Xiangyang slowly shook his head.
"I just wanted to feel the breeze."
Shen Kuangye looked at him for a few seconds, then nodded.
"Yeah. The summer night wind is nice."
At that moment, the park speakers began playing Summer Wind.
A low, gentle female voice sang softly:
"I will always remember the summer wind, clearly telling me you love me…"
Neither of them spoke.
They simply listened quietly until the song ended.
---
Lu Xiangyang secretly glanced at Shen Kuangye.
The night breeze lifted the loose hair on the boy's forehead.
His side profile looked like it had been carefully carved by a god.
Sharp yet gentle lines.
His tall nose cast a faint shadow under the streetlight, making his profile even more distinct.
A very handsome face.
Lu Xiangyang felt his heart pounding wildly.
He was absolutely certain now.
He really had fallen in love with Shen Kuangye.
Very much.
But he also knew clearly—
Shen Kuangye would never like him.
Shen Kuangye treated him well only because he happened to resemble his deceased younger brother.
And because Shen Kuangye was simply a very kind person.
None of his kindness contained the feelings Lu Xiangyang hoped for.
He was just a good person.
That was all.
Lu Xiangyang knew better than anyone how ordinary he was.
Ordinary looks.
Ordinary background.
Ordinary in everything.
Even if Shen Kuangye liked men—
He would never like someone like him.
He shouldn't indulge in such hopeless fantasies.
---
When the song ended, Lu Xiangyang forced down the bitterness in his heart and smiled.
"Brother Kuangye, let's go back."
His smile was beautiful.
But Shen Kuangye felt it wasn't real happiness.
"Okay."
---
Back at the club, Shen Kuangye was still changing his shoes at the entrance when Lu Xiangyang headed straight to the training room.
"It's almost midnight," Shen Kuangye said.
Lu Xiangyang scratched his head.
"I know. I just want to practice a bit more. You go sleep first."
The lie was obvious.
Shen Kuangye didn't stop him.
"Don't stay too late."
"Got it. Just a bit."
But this "bit" lasted until 2 a.m.
When Lu Xiangyang finally returned to the room, Shen Kuangye was still awake.
In the darkness, he watched Lu Xiangyang slowly climb into bed.
Just as he was about to lie down, he hesitated.
Then he moved the pillow to the other end of the bed and curled up near the edge.
A position where Shen Kuangye could no longer hug him.
---
After lying down, Lu Xiangyang felt his nose sting.
He silently said sorry in his heart.
It was just a different sleeping direction.
The blanket was warm.
Yet he felt so cold.
Without Shen Kuangye holding him, it was this cold?
Why?
He had always been used to sleeping alone before.
Lu Xiangyang knew clearly that after tonight, these things should disappear.
He needed to distance himself from Shen Kuangye.
He couldn't let those feelings show.
Absolutely not.
If possible, he would bury them in his heart forever.
As he thought about it, the pillow became soaked with tears.
---
Then suddenly, the bed shifted.
Behind him came the faint sound of a pillow being placed down.
Shen Kuangye's voice was low.
"I can't sleep. Can I hold you while sleeping?"
Lu Xiangyang's heart pounded violently.
He softly hummed in agreement.
His silent permission made Shen Kuangye even bolder.
He pulled Lu Xiangyang directly into his arms.
Lu Xiangyang could clearly feel his back pressed against Shen Kuangye's chest.
It was burning hot.
Shen Kuangye inhaled the familiar scent of Lu Xiangyang's hair and said slowly:
"Don't worry. Even if you don't play well, I'm here."
After thinking about it all night, Shen Kuangye concluded that Lu Xiangyang must have become nervous about the upcoming regular season after seeing the team uniform.
He remembered feeling the same before his first professional match.
He had been so nervous he couldn't sleep.
So he understood.
Back then, he had been alone.
But now it was different.
He would always be there to catch Lu Xiangyang if he fell.
Lu Xiangyang bit down hard to suppress his sobs and softly answered.
"Mm."
He had tried so obviously to distance himself from Shen Kuangye.
So why was Shen Kuangye still treating him this well?
If Shen Kuangye knew his real feelings…
Would he hate him?