This is Italy, a land of simple folkways, with its scorching sea breeze, golden beaches, azure ocean, delicious popsicles, and...
Stand users everywhere!
On the beach, a man with short golden hair was beating the stuffing out of a green-haired pineapple-head, elbowing him to the ground and then kicking him for all he was worth.
The blond man was named Prosciutto, his Stand 『Grateful Dead』, ability to age people. The green-haired pineapple-head was named Pesci, his Stand 『Beach Boy』, ability a special fishing hook with piercing power and the power to retrieve objects from a distance.
Both were members of the local mafia organization Passione, belonging to the same 『Assassination Team』, and partners.
Pesci, who was taking the beating, wailed, "Waaaaaah... Big Bro, please... please stop already! What are you even mad about?!"
"Pesci, Pesci, Pesci!" Prosciutto was furious at his lack of progress and put even more force into his kicks. "You still don't know why you're getting beaten even now, you clueless crybaby coward! Look at how you acted just now during the operation—you got so scared you couldn't even summon your Stand!"
"I had no choice! That bullet almost went into my brain!" Pesci's nose was running as he instinctively covered his head with both hands.
Seeing this, Prosciutto grabbed Pesci by the collar, hauled him upright, and earnestly lectured him: "Pesci, listen carefully! I'm angry because of your 『inner weakness』!"
"Pesci~~ Pesci~~ I trust you a lot. You're just lacking confidence because you've failed too many times in the past." Prosciutto suddenly changed tone, pressing his forehead against Pesci's to encourage him.
"R-really?"
"Of course. So right now you desperately need a victory to prove yourself." Prosciutto nodded and continued encouraging him, pointing at Diego in the distance who was licking a popsicle. "Go beat that guy up without using your Stand. The second I see that handsome face of his I get pissed off—it somehow makes me think of Fugo from Bucciarati's team."
"Yes!"
Big Bro is still too kind. He's just an ordinary person, yet he's using this method to help me regain my confidence...
Having regained his confidence, Pesci ran up to Diego and roared, "Hey, you over there!"
"Hm?" Diego, who was looking around for Takanashi Rikka, narrowed his eyes slightly.
"What are you looking at? Don't think just because you're handsome I won't—"
Two minutes later...
Having lost his confidence, Pesci returned to Prosciutto's side covered in lumps, even his walking unsteady, sniffling and crying.
"Big Bro, looks like I'm really not cut out for the mafia. I couldn't even handle an ordinary person!"
Vicious kicking...
"Useless, good-for-nothing, piece of trash!"
Pesci's pathetic performance earned him another thorough beating from Prosciutto.
Before long, Prosciutto, panting from exhaustion, lost the desire to keep hitting him and decided to step in personally to show his underling how it's done. While walking toward Diego he lectured:
"Pesci, if it were the other members of our team, even if they knew they couldn't win, they'd still bite a chunk of flesh out of the enemy before going down!"
"Even if their arms were broken and all three legs gone soft, same thing!"
"You might not really get it from me saying it, so watch carefully—how to deal with this kind of ordinary person without using a Stand."
A few seconds later...
Bang!
"Buga—!!!"
The instant Prosciutto approached Diego he was punched flying, crashing through several coconut trees in succession before finally landing at the feet of his underling Pesci.
"Big Bro————!!!" Pesci looked at the barely-breathing Prosciutto and wept bitterly, hurriedly hoisting him up and running toward the nearest hospital. "Hang on a little longer, I'll take you back to the organization!"
Big Bro didn't lie to me. Even knowing he'd get a vicious beating, he still risked being beaten to death just so that punk's fist would rebound a little.
"Pesci..., why didn't you tell me this blond brat... is such a street punk, ugh aah—" Prosciutto's head lolled to the side and he completely passed out.
"Big Bro————!!"
The moment he approached Diego while displaying hostility, Prosciutto didn't even feel the wind pressure—the massive fist was already in his face.
Is this really a human? That mountain-toppling, sea-overturning force, the piercing roar as it tore through the air, and that terrifying wind pressure...
That single punch caved his entire face in, knocked out nearly half his teeth, and broke several ribs as well. He only managed to finish that sentence through pure willpower.
Maybe I'm not cut out for the mafia either...
That was Prosciutto's final thought before he blacked out.
...
Crunch, crunch, crunch!
"Honestly, every now and then some blind pigeon will fly into a utility pole. Water Spirit, please clean the filth from my hand."
"As you wish..."
Elsewhere, Diego bit the popsicle in his hand to pieces in a few bites, then turned his head and stared in disgust at the blood on his fist. Under the wrapping of the flowing water it quickly became brand new.
"Although I, Dio, said before we set out that I would surpass you all, you people sure took your sweet time getting here, didn't you?" Diego looked toward the empty space beside him and spoke. "My loyal subordinates."
"Discovered by Dio! Could this be the Delusion-Piercing Eye that sees through everything from Chapter Three of the Dark Laws?!" Takanashi Rikka, hidden in the shadows, cried out in surprise.
"No, this is a dinosaur's dynamic vision." As he spoke, The World suddenly threw a punch at the sneaky Dekomori Sanae behind him.
Clang—!!
The World's iron fist smashed against the thunder hammer formed from her twin-tails.
"Ho, so you actually have the courage to stand against me, Dio?" Diego watched the thunder hammer right in front of him with interest. "In a hurry again to prove you have the strength to become my, Dio's, companion?"
"Kukuku, I am no longer the Dekomori Sanae of the past. Now I am the number one beneath the user of the Evil King's True Eye! Death!" The weather cleared and the rain stopped. Having been elected president of the high school student council, Dekomori Sanae felt she was back in form. Looking at Takanashi Rikka, her voice instantly softened. "Master, lift the illusion domain of the Evil King's True Eye. This is a trial that belongs solely to me, death!"
Takanashi Rikka nodded. "Alright. One must always earnestly accept trials, no matter when. Since it is the request of the Master of the Thunder Warhammer..."
The illusion brought by the Evil King's True Eye was lifted. Dekomori Sanae had actually voluntarily abandoned an environment beneficial to her!
"Wryyyyy! My underling got elected student council president before me?" The two hidden people revealed themselves. Diego's pupils dilated as he glared fiercely at Dekomori Sanae and issued an order. "The World, beat her up for me and make her learn her lesson properly! An underling should be as respectful as a flight attendant offering wine and caviar to a first-class passenger!"
"Muda!"
The World understood instantly, casually uprooted a coconut tree, and hurled it hard at Dekomori Sanae.
"Shine, Dekomori!"
Watching the coconut tree flying straight at her, Dekomori Sanae squatted down, summoned her Stand, and once again turned her hair into a giant thunder hammer, smashing it hard at the coconut tree in an attempt to stop it. "Kuku, here it comes? Watch how I catch—this—thing—"
Events did not develop as Dekomori Sanae imagined. The thunder hammer that had always been as fast as lightning could not move at all, faintly showing signs of being pushed back.
Bang!
"Uuuuuuuu—!!" Dekomori Sanae let out a miserable scream and was sent flying, leaving a long scrape mark on the beach.
Dekomori Sanae, unable to rise again!
Takanashi Rikka: "Dekomori... damn it, how could this..."
Diego curled his lips and raised one index finger. "You're next, Takanashi!"
Seeing this, Takanashi Rikka was filled with grief and indignation. She silently gritted her teeth, clenched her fists, and resolutely walked toward Diego step by step.
"Ho, walking toward me? Not running away, but approaching me, Dio, instead. Rare for your apostle to go all out trying to keep you from getting involved in the fight..."
Takanashi Rikka retorted, "If I don't get close, how can I prove that the Evil King's True Eye is above Scary Monsters?"
"Hoho, then come a little closer." Diego walked forward to meet her.
Whoosh whoosh...
Several beams of light waves came flying.
"Muda muda muda muda muda muda!" The World blocked them one by one. Diego grinned ferociously, and The World's golden fist shot out in an instant. "You die too, Takanashi!"
"Nani?!"
Bang!
Another "corpse" appeared on the beach.
"Hah, finally..." Diego sighed, narrowed his eyes, and twitched his ears. "But are those two really dead? Maybe they're playing dead to trick me. After all, they're my subordinates, so I'd better confirm..."
Their breathing... I can't hear it...
Lie down...
Diego displayed the wisdom of a law-school elite, pressing his ear to the sand to listen for the two's heartbeats.
On the other side, Dekomori Sanae broke out in a cold sweat and signaled with her eyes: "Master, the boss is too cautious. The plan failed. We can't hide our heartbeats!"
"No problem. Long before the battle started, Dio had already fallen into the illusion of the Evil King's True Eye. He can't hear anything." Takanashi Rikka replied with her eyes.
Just as expected, after carefully listening for five minutes, Diego walked over with a smile.
"Heartbeats stopped. Those two are completely dead. I overestimated them." Diego gently shook his head, then changed tone to intimidate, "But just in case, I'll still cut off their heads so I can be completely at ease."
Thud thud thud...
The footsteps grew louder and louder. The two could no longer hide the joy in their hearts and suddenly attacked the completely unguarded Diego.
"Thunder Warhammer!"
"Evil King's True Eye!"
Facing the two's attacks, Diego remained motionless as if under a body-binding talisman, taking the full force of the attacks.
Bang!
After that, the two's coordination flowed like clouds and water, suppressing Diego so thoroughly he couldn't lift his head. The injuries on his body increased more and more.
In the end, Diego could no longer withstand the offensive and gritted his teeth in admission of defeat: "I have no choice but to admit that right now you two are stronger!"
The two froze at his words, then clapped and cheered.
"Great! We finally beat Dio (the boss)!"
Meanwhile, in an open-air restaurant in the distance, Diego and Kitagawa Marin sat across from each other.
"Um... Dio-kun, what are Takanashi-san and little Dekomori doing?" Kitagawa Marin, who happened to be traveling in Italy with her father on a business trip, asked curiously. "Why are those two talking to an empty patch of ground, saying hot-blooded lines while standing completely still, then suddenly flying out for no reason, and now celebrating?"
As early as when the two were clumsily trying to hide their forms and sneakily attempt an ambush, Diego had already released a little dinosaur to escape, and asked the Spirit of Appearance to disguise the little dinosaur as Diego, and also had the Spirit of Speech imitate Diego's voice for the dubbing.
What does it mean that Diego Brando took second place in the Diego-dubbing contest?
In short, from beginning to end, Takanashi Rikka and Dekomori Sanae had only been playing a game with The World, which hadn't moved its body in a long time.
Diego silently finished the iced juice in his hand. After all, a qualified emperor occasionally had to provide emotional value to his underlings.
He paused for a moment, then replied to Kitagawa Marin's question: "Kitagawa, can't you see... ah—, those two are playing a game of 'even if you're a chuuni you still have to tata kai'."
Oh, right, this is the ordinary person's perspective. Kitagawa can't see Stands.
"Is that so? Like acting out the plot of some RPG games?" Kitagawa Marin recalled the 18+ games she had played.
"Yeah yeah, exactly, more or less that. Don't worry about it. Today I formally want to introduce someone to you." Diego grinned.
He stood up and enthusiastically welcomed a thirteen-year-old boy over. At the same time The World, having played enough, silently floated behind Kitagawa Marin and struck various poses.
"Kitagawa, allow me to formally introduce—this is my proud son!" Diego hooked an arm around Giorno's shoulder.
Huh?!
Kitagawa Marin's brain overloaded, the light in her eyes vanishing.
S-son?!
Dio-kun already has a son this big?!
Before Kitagawa Marin could recover, Diego extended a hand toward her again: "Come, Giorno, let me introduce you. This is..."
"Father, let me try guessing. I've always been good at reading people's expressions." Black-car driver Giorno was very confident.
A blond woman who looks very much to Father's taste! Plus that gaze full of affection directed at Father! And The World behind her constantly flexing its muscles—Father's Stand is so close to her!
There's only one possible answer, right?!
Thinking of the vampire DIO's behavior of spreading white cream all over little breads everywhere, Giorno understood everything. He bowed at a 90-degree angle and solemnly called out:
"Mom!"
"Eh?"
Kitagawa Marin, who had been quietly nursing her wounded feelings, didn't react for a moment. She only opened her mouth without managing to say a single word.
"..."
Giorno, what kind of expression-reading is that?!
Diego's mouth twitched. He desperately held back the urge to laugh, coughed lightly twice: "Haha, Giorno you... guessed correctly. As expected of my son! This is your mom!"
"Ehhh?!"
I skipped the falling-in-love, getting-married, and wedding-night steps and just got a kid?!
Even if Dio-kun is a band manager, isn't this a bit too rock-and-roll?!
...