The Old Madam summoned Lin Yue often.
Not for conversation or affection but for 'correction'.
"Your greeting lacks warmth." She would say.
"You hold your teacup too carefully."
"You pause before answering. Why?"
Her voice never rose, it never needed to, each word landed with quiet force.
She did not look at Lin Yue the way someone would look at a granddaughter. She observed her as one might inspect a flawed object, searching for weakness, pressing where it might give.
"Again," she would say.
Lin Yue would bow, rise, speak and turn.
"Wrong."
"Wrong."
"Wrong."
"You can't do something this simple right?"
The correction would come immediately. There was no moment where it was enough. No point at which she was allowed to succeed.
The rules changed without warning.
The Old Madam watched closely, waiting. Not for improvement, but for the smallest crack.
Something human. Something she could seize.
Lin Yue endured it all.
"Yes, Grandmother."
"I will improve."
"I am grateful for correction."
Her voice remained even, her movements clean.But inside, irritation coiled deep, pressing against her ribs like a living thing.
The Old Madam mistook her silence for submission.She couldnt see what was being built instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡
After leaving the Old Madam's hall, Lin Yue walked alone through the gardens.
Winter had stripped the trees bare. Their branches stretched into the pale sky, thin and still. The paths lay quiet beneath her steps, the air cold against her skin.
Lin Yue didn't hear the footsteps. She only felt the air change all of a sudden.
Hands grabbed her. They weren't gentle, they were like iron. She twisted, her silk sleeve tearing, she struck out wildly, her knuckles hitting a maid's shoulder.
But the world tilted and the frozen ground rushed up to meet her. Her palms hit the stone, it bit into her palms, smelling of damp earth.
"Still fighting?"
Shen Lian's voice was cold. She stepped into Lin Yue's vision, her silk robes shimmering like a snake's skin. "You never learn. You think because you've returned, you're something? You're a worm. You were born in the dirt, and you'll die in it."
Lian lifted her foot bringing it down on Lin yues hand.
*Crunch.*
*Scream,* the weak part of Lin Yue begged. *Cry. Show her it hurts so she'll stop.*
*No*, the cold part hissed back, fighting through the haze of agony.* If you scream, she wins. If you cry, you are exactly what she says you are. A worm.*
Lin Yue bit her tongue. She pressed her face into the cold dirt, her body going perfectly still. She didn't fight the weight.
Lian pressed harder, her heel twisting. "Nothing," she whispered, her voice thick with a twisted satisfaction. "You are nothing."
Then, the world exploded.
Lanru collided, with the maids holding LinYue down. A roar of bodies hitting, the sound of a heavy shove. The weight vanished from Lin Yue's hand so suddenly the blood rushed back in a agonizing pulse.
"Miss!" Lanru was there, her strong hands lifting Lin Yue from the dirt.
Behind them, Lian was screaming, a high pitched, ugly sound, but Lin Yue didn't look back. She couldn't. Holding her injured hand o herbody, the skin turning more red by the second and gray with dust.
*I didn't scream,* she thought, her heart hammering against her ribs.* I am still here. I still matter.*
~~~~~~~~♡
The walk back was a blur of gray stone and the pulse in her fingers.
By the time they were in the safety of the courtyard, Lin Yue's hand felt twice its size. The skin was red and bleeding.
Auntie Rong didn't ask what happened. She saw the dirt the ruined silk, and her face went as hard.
"Sit down."
Lin Yue sank into the chair, her legs feeling like water. Auntie Rong's hands were cool, but as she began to wash the grit from the wounds, the water felt like liquid fire.
*Stupid, weak, pathetic,* the voice in Lin Yue's head snarled.
*You let a girl like Lian put you in the dirt. You're a Master who needs a servant to save her.*
She looked at Lanru. The girls breath came in jagged hitches, her hands were trembling so hard she had to tuck them into her sleeves.
"You did well," Auntie Rong murmured.
Lanru didn't look up. "I... I pushed a daughter of the house. I could be killed for that."
*She risked her life for a worm*
The guilt twisted in Lin Yue's gut tighter than the pain in her hand.
*I don't deserve this. I don't deserve her.*
Auntie Rong finished the binding. Lin Yue flexed her fingers. The pain was raw, but she welcomed it. She used the ache to anchor herself and calm her chaotic thoughts.
*Lian showed her hand too early*, Lin Yue realized, her gaze cooling.* She thinks she broke me. She thinks she won because she saw me in the dirt.*
She looked at the bandages.
*Let her think it. Let her feel safe in her cruelty. Next time, I won't be the one looking up from the ground.*
"Lanru," Lin Yue said, her voice steadying. "Don't be afraid. You aren't just a servant anymore. You are mine. And I do not let my people be touched."
~~~~~~~~~~♡
Outside, Qing was moved quietly through the servant corridors. She shared tea, mended torn sleeves, paused where others stopped.
She listened more than she spoke, servants relaxed in her presence, their guard lowering without notice.Soon, whispers reached her.
"A winter poetry gathering will be held at Minister Cai's residence."
"All daughters of ranking households are invited."
"The Shen girls as well."
Qing returned that evening, her steps light, her eyes full of excitement.
"You are invited," she told Lin Yue.
Auntie Rong's nodded. "This is an opportunity."
"For poetry?" Lin Yue asked, her tone mild.
"For observation," Auntie Rong said shaking her head with a smile. "Perhaps for a husband."
Lin Yue's lips curved slightly. "Auntie worries too much."
"I worry exactly enough," Auntie Rong replied. "You must not stand alone forever."
Lin Yue's expression softened just a bit. She understood the concern. Lin Yue's gaze lowered slightly, thoughtful.
*I will stand on my own first.*