"Ethan, I'm begging you… please move Wade somewhere else," Pietro said, sounding like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. "If this continues, I'll have Wanda open a portal for me every day so I can go live in Attilan."
"Hey…" Deadpool sighed dramatically. "Pietro, I thought our conversations these past few days were wonderful. I never expected you to secretly resent me this much."
He wiped imaginary tears.
"I feel even worse than the time I was kissed to death by suffocation."
Pietro nearly exploded.
Wonderful conversations?
You've been talking nonstop while I was forced to listen!
Inside his mind, Pietro was screaming in frustration.
After a full week of Deadpool's relentless chatter, Pietro had developed massive dark circles under his eyes. Not only did he have to endure the constant noise, but every attempt to escape only triggered even more of Deadpool's verbal bombardment.
At this rate, if Deadpool stayed much longer, Pietro was certain he would eventually suffer a complete mental collapse.
Ethan rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
Finding a place for Deadpool to stay was indeed a problem.
Letting him live in a random hotel wasn't safe. Ethan wouldn't be surprised if Deadpool disappeared overnight and ended up somewhere completely ridiculous the next day.
After all, this was Deadpool.
No matter how bizarre the situation became, it would still feel perfectly normal for him.
The best solution would be to find someone to keep an eye on him.
Originally, Pietro seemed like the perfect candidate. But judging by his current state, that clearly wasn't going to work.
So who could handle Deadpool?
Very few people in the Marvel universe could survive a verbal battle with him.
Then an idea suddenly struck Ethan.
Fight fire with fire.
If Deadpool loved running his mouth so much, then he just needed another person who did the same.
Marvel had four famously talkative heroes: Deadpool, Spider-Man, Ant-Man, and Star-Lord.
Spider-Man was still just a kid. According to Wanda, Peter Parker was extremely quiet and socially withdrawn at the moment. His famous sarcastic personality hadn't developed yet.
Star-Lord wasn't even on Earth.
That left only one candidate.
Ant-Man.
At this point in time, Scott Lang should still be locked up in San Quentin State Prison.
Perfect.
Ethan immediately picked up his phone and dialed Phil Coulson.
"Ethan?" Coulson answered. "What can I do for you?"
Coulson understood Ethan very well. If Ethan contacted him directly, it meant the matter wasn't trivial.
Still, it usually wasn't anything too troublesome either.
"I do need your help with something," Ethan said.
"If it's within my power, consider it done."
"There's a man in San Quentin State Prison named Scott Lang," Ethan said. "I want to see him tonight."
Ever since HYDRA's exposure led to the collapse of S.H.I.E.L.D., most agents had been forced into early retirement.
Hawkeye had completely withdrawn from public life and was happily living with his wife and children behind a white picket fence. Maria Hill had joined Stark Industries. Nick Fury had quietly disappeared again, dragging Natasha into another mysterious operation.
But Coulson was different.
He had barely spent two or three days unemployed before being recruited by the U.S. National Security Agency. Now he served as the head of a special operations department with enormous authority.
In short, his career was flourishing.
"No problem," Coulson replied immediately.
He didn't even ask why.
Coulson knew that with Ethan's level of power, the fact that he still followed normal procedures and asked for help was already extremely considerate. Staying on good terms with Ethan was far more valuable than asking unnecessary questions.
"Alright," Ethan said. "I'll wait for your news."
He had just hung up when his phone rang again.
This time it was Tony.
Ethan hadn't even spoken yet when Tony's voice came through.
"Ethan, come to the lab," Tony said quickly. "The evolutionary serum is finished."
Then Tony immediately hung up without giving Ethan any chance to respond.
"What a jerk," Ethan muttered as he pocketed the phone.
He looked over at Pietro, who was currently sitting on the couch with a lifeless expression while Deadpool continued his endless chatter beside him.
"Pietro," Ethan said, "I found Wade a new roommate."
Pietro's eyes lit up instantly.
"So I'm finally free?!" he shouted with joy. "Thank you, Ethan! This is the second time I've ever thanked you like this. The first time was when you pulled me out from under that pile of rubble."
Clearly, Deadpool had tortured him beyond endurance.
"Wait, Pietro's leaving me?" Deadpool asked sadly. "That's heartbreaking. But who's my new roommate? I hope it's a beautiful woman. Preferably one with a big—"
"Shut up," Ethan said coldly. "Speak again and I deduct money."
Deadpool immediately fell silent.
They soon arrived at the laboratory.
"Ethan, who's this guy?" Tony asked curiously when he saw Deadpool.
Deadpool immediately straightened up.
"Tony Stark!" he declared proudly. "My name is Wade Winston Wilson Johnson, but most people call me Deadpool. Some people call me 'that annoying bastard,' but I actually like that nickname. It makes me feel kind of adorable."
"Shut up," Ethan said again. "Speak again and I deduct money."
Deadpool instantly zipped his mouth.
Ethan turned back to Tony.
"So, how did the serum turn out?"
The moment Tony heard the word serum, he completely ignored Deadpool's existence.
"It's incredible," Tony said excitedly. "We've already tested it on mice. Their strength, endurance, and immune systems all increased by dozens of times."
He paused dramatically.
"But the most unbelievable part is what you mentioned before—'Spider Sense.' The test subjects developed a predictive reaction that allows them to sense danger about three seconds in advance. There's absolutely no scientific explanation for it."
In the Marvel universe, there were countless things science couldn't explain.
Pym Particles were the perfect example. When objects shrank, their weight decreased but their strength remained the same. When they grew larger, both their weight and strength increased simultaneously.
From a scientific perspective, it was pure nonsense.
"Have you started human testing yet?" Ethan asked.
"Not yet," Tony replied.
Ethan rolled his eyes.
"Then why are you calling the serum finished?" he said irritably. "Next month is your wedding with Pepper. If something goes wrong with this project, I'll personally sabotage the ceremony and make sure Pepper divorces you immediately."
Tony nearly choked.
"That's a vicious curse," he complained.
Originally, Tony had declared he would marry Pepper that same weekend after resurrecting his parents.
But the schedule had been far too rushed. In the end, the wedding had been postponed until next month, although Tony and Pepper had already legally registered their marriage.
Interestingly, Tony hadn't signed a prenuptial agreement.
That meant if Pepper ever filed for divorce, she would instantly become the richest woman in the world.
Of course, that scenario would never happen.
"Listen," Tony said seriously, "the problem with human testing isn't technical. It's ethical."
He leaned back against the lab table.
"First there's the issue of legality. Then there's the problem of selecting human subjects. This serum is far stronger than we expected. Every successful trial could create a superhuman."
Tony crossed his arms thoughtfully.
"And once that happens, what do we do with them? We can't treat human test subjects the way we treat laboratory mice."
....
Join my P@treon and get 60+ advanced chapters.
Link: p*atreon.com/0LordSilvere0 (Remove the *)
Free members get 2 chapters free.
Join Right Now