[Prenatal Clinic]
Haley lay back on the examination table with Jack beside her, his hand wrapped around hers. Claire and Sarah had come with them for Haley's first prenatal appointment, and both mothers watched closely as the doctor prepared the ultrasound.
The doctor lifted Haley's shirt enough to expose her stomach before squeezing gel across her skin. Haley flinched slightly at the cold sensation while Jack stayed beside her, watching the monitor.
As the doctor began moving the transducer across Haley's stomach, she glanced toward her. "Haley, have you been taking your prenatal vitamins?"
"I'll make sure she does from now on," Claire and Sarah said at the same time.
Jack and Haley immediately looked toward their respective mothers.
"Calm down, Mom," they said together.
Haley looked between Claire and Sarah. "I can remember to take a pill every day."
Claire raised her eyebrows. "Can you?"
Haley gave her mother a look, but before she could respond, a rapid thudding sound suddenly filled the examination room.
The doctor looked toward the monitor. "There's the heartbeat."
Haley's attention immediately shifted away from Claire. She squeezed Jack's hand tightly as she listened to the rapid rhythm filling the room. "Oh, it... it sounds so fast," She said, looking worriedly between Jack and the monitor. "Is everything okay?"
Jack kept his eyes on the screen. "Relax. Everything's okay. That's the way a baby's heart should sound."
The doctor nodded. "He's right. It's the sound of a very healthy... oh!"
Jack and Haley immediately looked at her.
"What?" they asked together.
Well, Jack had a rough idea what's gonna happen next. But still, he's gonna be a dad, and he's got these weird instincts lately when it comes to taking care of Haley. Like, he is getting too protective. At that moment, he forgot all the plots and storyline. His focus was on the screen.
The doctor moved the transducer slightly across Haley's stomach as another rapid thudding became audible.
"There's a second heartbeat."
Haley's eyes widened instantly. "A baby with two hearts? I didn't know I was pregnant when I ate that cherry pie and a jar of orange juice! I didn't..."
"No, H-Haley, breathe," the doctor said, stopping her panic before it could build any further. "You're having twins."
Haley stared at her for a moment before an incredulous laugh escaped her. "That's impossible. It's a mistake. Turn it off and turn it back on again."
"It's not," the doctor replied. "I'm pretty good at this, and the machine is working just fine."
Jack leaned closer to the monitor and pointed toward the screen. "She's right. You can see them right here."
Haley stared at the screen before looking back at Jack. "I can't have twins. That's twice as many babies as we were expecting."
Jack squeezed her hand. "Everything's gonna be alright. We'll get through this together."
Haley's thoughts were already racing too quickly for the reassurance to slow them down. "How are they gonna fit in our place?" She imagined the basement.
She stopped abruptly as the answer occurred to her.
"Wait! We have a big house."
Her relief lasted only a moment before she looked down at her stomach and panic returned.
"How are they gonna fit in my body? Look at me. I am so cute and petite." Haley began laughing nervously as the reality continued crashing down on her. "One is always going to be awake. I'll never sleep again. And those double strollers are so wide, I can say goodbye to ever shopping in a boutique."
Claire moved closer to her daughter. "Haley, everything's gonna be okay."
Haley looked at her. "You don't know that."
"I do!"
"I'm in way over my head, Mom, I..."
Claire took her hand. "But you're not alone."
Jack nodded beside her. "Yeah, I'll be here."
"Yeah, he'll be here, but I meant me," Claire said, keeping her attention on Haley. "I'll be here. But as you're about to find out, being a mom is very complicated. Luckily, there are these instincts that kick in, especially when your kid's in trouble."
Haley listened quietly as Claire held her hand.
"So if you're ever overwhelmed," Claire continued, "I am right over your shoulder on the wings of a hummingbird."
...
...
[Mitch and Cam's House] [A Few Hours Later]
Cam lowered his phone slowly, staring at the screen with a smile that had been growing steadily throughout the last minute of his conversation with Claire.
Mitchell noticed from across the living room while sorting through a stack of mail. He watched Cam silently for several seconds before finally putting the envelopes down. "Alright, what did you do? You have your 'I just bought a vintage carousel horse' face on."
Cam pressed the phone dramatically against his chest. "Mitchell, I am currently bursting with news so monumental, so deeply moving, that my heart is literally doing a pas de bourrée."
Mitchell's expression tightened. "How much did it cost?"
"Why must you immediately weaponize my joy? I am a vessel of pure light right now!"
"Because I'm the one who does our taxes, Cam."
Cam ignored that and crossed the room, already struggling to contain himself. "Claire just called me from Haley's prenatal appointment."
Mitchell immediately became more attentive. "Oh God, is everything okay? Is it the baby? Did Claire offend a nurse?"
"Everything is wonderful." Cam clasped both hands together as his eyes began to shine. "Our sweet, delicate Haley and Jack are not just having a baby."
Mitchell stared at him. "Cam, why are you talking like you're presenting an Oscar?"
Cam raised two fingers between them. "They're having twins!"
Mitchell's mouth dropped open. "Twins?"
"Twins, Mitchell!" Cam repeated as he grabbed Mitchell's shoulders. "Two tiny babies arriving together! Two little bassinets, two sets of booties, matching Halloween costumes, coordinated birthday parties!"
Mitchell blinked several times while processing the news. "Wow. Okay. Haley... is in charge of two human lives. Simultaneously."
Cam's excitement softened as emotion began creeping into his face. "Can you imagine how overwhelmed she must be? She's nineteen, she's only just found out she's pregnant, and suddenly the universe hands her two babies at once."
Mitchell nodded, his own smile appearing. "Yeah, but she's got Jack, Claire, Phil, Sarah, Richard, and approximately forty other relatives who won't understand the meaning of personal boundaries once those babies arrive."
From the floor, Lily looked up from the picture she was drawing. "They get two babies?"
Cam turned toward her with a warm smile. "Yes, sweetheart. Haley and Jack are going to have twins."
Lily considered this information for several seconds before returning to her drawing. "And you guys can't even get a cat."
Mitchell's smile disappeared.
Cam's mouth slowly fell open.
Lily continued coloring as though she hadn't just driven a knife directly through both their egos.
Mitchell stared at her before turning toward Cam. "I'm getting my keys."
Cam immediately nodded with complete seriousness. "I'll start the car."
Lily looked up again. "We're getting Larry?"
Mitchell grabbed his keys from the table while Cam reached for his jacket. "We're being shamed into pet ownership."
Lily abandoned her crayons and hurried toward the door. "Larry needs a blue collar."
Cam followed her with renewed determination. "Larry will have a collar studded with sapphires if it repairs our image in this house."
Mitchell sighed as he opened the door. "No, we can't afford that."
..
[Pritchett House] [A Few Hours Later]
Jay sat at the kitchen table with the newspaper spread open in front of him, reading through the sports section while Stella slept beneath his chair. The patio doors were open, letting a warm breeze drift through the house.
Gloria came around the corner with her phone pressed against her ear. "Yes, Claire! Yes! Okay, call me later! And tell Haley I am lighting a candle for her!"
She ended the call and stood completely still.
Jay lowered the newspaper slightly. "What happened?"
Gloria stared at him with enormous eyes. "Jay! Haley and Jack are having twins!"
Jay slowly folded the newspaper. "Twins? As in, two of 'em?"
"Two babies, Jay!" Gloria hurried toward the table and held up two fingers. "They went to see the doctor, and there were two heartbeats. Haley was already terrified about having one baby, and now there are two babies inside her!"
Jay leaned back as the news settled in. "Well, that'll wake you up in the morning."
Gloria smacked his shoulder. "Ay, Jay! Be serious!"
"What? I'm just saying! They're healthy, right? The babies?"
"Claire says the doctor says everything is perfect."
Jay nodded, visibly relaxing. "Then that's all that matters. End of story."
Gloria sat beside him, still looking overwhelmed. "Haley is only nineteen. And Jack is also nineteen. Two babies at nineteen is a lot."
"Yeah, it's a lot." Jay looked toward the newspaper before deciding he wasn't going to get any more reading done. "Look, if it was any other nineteen-year-old punk, I'd be out back digging a hole. I'd be waiting for him to cut and run, or move into the basement."
Gloria watched him quietly.
Jay shrugged. "But Jack's a good kid. Works his tail off. Bought his own house, takes care of Haley, treats her right, and when they found out she was pregnant, he didn't head for the hills. He stepped up, put a ring on her finger and took it like a man."
Gloria smiled. "Ay, Jay... you like him."
"Let's not get crazy. I'm not knitting him a sweater."
"You loooove him."
Jay sighed. "Alright, fine. He's not the worst. He's responsible. They've got each other, and with Claire, Phil, and the rest of this family constantly breathing down their necks, those kids aren't gonna have a second to themselves anyway."
Gloria's smile widened as she rested a hand over her own stomach.
Jay picked up his newspaper again. "They'll be fine."
Gloria leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You're becoming soft, Jay."
Jay opened the paper with a grunt. "I'm having a baby at sixty-five. I'm not soft, I'm just too tired to be angry."
...
...
[Dunphy House] [Later That Afternoon]
Phil stood in the kitchen trying to balance a spoon on the end of his nose when the front door opened. Alex sat at the dining table with her laptop and several books spread around her, while Luke was on the floor trying to build something from two flashlights, duct tape, and a tennis racket.
Claire entered first, followed closely by Haley.
Phil immediately caught the spoon and hurried toward them. "There are my girls! Give it to me. How was it? Good? Baby healthy? Mama healthy? Did you get a picture of the little lima bean?"
"Everything is perfectly healthy," Claire sighed, dropping her purse like it weighed fifty pounds.
Phil's shoulders visibly relaxed. "Oh, thank God. That's all I needed. My heart rate can finally go down."
Haley stood near the door with her purse hanging from one shoulder. She looked strangely overwhelmed, caught somewhere between wanting to laugh and wanting to panic all over again.
Alex noticed immediately and lowered her laptop screen. "Why does Haley look like someone just tried to explain the Electoral College to her?"
Haley frowned. "I know what a college is, Alex."
"You thought 'Ivy League' was a Batman villain."
"Poison Ivy is literally made of leaves! It made sense!"
Phil looked between Haley and Claire. "Okay, clearly I'm missing something. What's the headline, Claire?"
Claire glanced at Haley, leaving the announcement to her.
Haley drew in a breath. "So, during the ultrasound, we heard the baby's heartbeat."
Phil's face softened into an enormous smile. "You heard the thump-thumps?"
Haley nodded, already smiling herself. "Yeah. It was really fast, and I freaked out for a second because I thought something was wrong."
Claire folded her arms. "Then the doctor found another heartbeat."
Alex's eyebrows pulled together.
Luke stopped wrapping duct tape around the tennis racket.
Phil's smile slowly disappeared as his brain caught up. "Another heartbeat?"
Haley held up two fingers. "Dad. Jack and I are having twins."
For several seconds, nobody moved.
Phil's mouth fell open. "Two babies?"
"That's usually what twins means," Alex replied, although she was staring at Haley with genuine shock.
Phil suddenly crossed the room and wrapped Haley in a hug. "TWO GRANDBABIES!"
Haley laughed as he squeezed her. "Dad, careful. They're still very small."
Phil immediately released her and looked horrified. "Did I squish them?"
Claire stared at him. "Phil, she's pregnant; she's not packing material."
"Right. Anatomy. They're protected."
Luke finally stood, his expression brightening as another implication occurred to him. "Wait, if there are two of them, does that mean I get to be Uncle Luke twice?"
Alex closed her eyes. "That's not how being an uncle works."
"It should be. I'm going to have to do double the cool uncle stuff."
Haley pointed toward him. "You haven't done any work. Ever."
"I'm preparing."
Phil was already emotional again. He placed both hands on Haley's shoulders and smiled at her. "Twins. Wow. Your mom and I used to joke about having twins."
Claire looked at him. "You used to joke about it. I used to threaten you whenever you mentioned it."
Alex got up and hugged Haley, surprising her. "Congratulations. Statistically speaking, your likelihood of a nervous breakdown just went up by two hundred percent... but I'm happy for you."
Haley hugged her back. "Thank you for making that terrifying."
Luke joined the hug from the side. "Can I teach them sword fighting?"
"No," Haley, Claire, and Alex answered together.
Phil smiled at the pile of his children before joining them.
Claire watched for a moment and shook her head affectionately. "Jack went with Sarah to tell Richard in person."
Phil nodded, still holding Haley. "Good. Because news this big deserves to be delivered face-to-face."
Luke looked up. "Because there are two of them? Two babies, two faces?"
Alex groaned. "We're going to need a smarter uncle."
--
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