The next day felt… quiet.
Too quiet.
I woke up and just laid there.
Staring at the ceiling.
For a few seconds, I forgot everything.
Then it came back.
Andrew.
I sat up slowly.
My chest already felt tight.
Like something was sitting on it.
I went downstairs.
My mom was already there.
Waiting.
"Sit," she said.
I did.
"There's something we need to talk about."
I didn't respond.
I already knew.
"You won't be going back to school."
Just like that.
I looked at her.
"What?"
"You'll be studying from home,I will get you tutors."
I frowned.
"For how long?"
"For now."
I let out a small breath.
"So I'm just… staying here?"
"Yes."
That didn't feel real.
None of this did.
"And your records will be updated," she added.
I looked up again.
"Updated how?"
She didn't look away this time.
"With your new identity."
My stomach dropped.
"Your name will be Andrew."
I stayed quiet.
"And your gender will be listed as male."
For a second…
everything went quiet.
Even my thoughts.
"You already changed it?" I asked.
"It's in progress."
"I didn't agree to that."
My voice came out smaller than I wanted.
"This is necessary," she said.
Calm.
Like she had said it a hundred times already.
Necessary.
That word again.
I shook my head slightly.
"This is too much," I muttered.
She didn't argue.
She just continued.
"You'll also be starting sessions tomorrow."
I frowned.
"What sessions?"
"With a trainer."
A pause.
"Actually… two."
I stared at her.
"You're serious."
"Yes."
"One will help you with behavior," she said.
"How you carry yourself. How people see you."
She paused slightly.
"The other will focus on your physique."
I let out a small, dry laugh.
"You mean… change how I look too?"
"It will help," she said.
"I don't need that," I replied.
"You do.
The room went quiet again.
But my head didn't.
Everything felt… too loud.
Even the silence.
My thoughts kept repeating.
Andrew.
Male.
Trainer.
Again and again.
I pressed my fingers lightly against my temple.
Trying to calm down.
But it didn't help.
"You'll understand later," she said..
"I don't think I will," I replied quietly.
"You heard them yesterday," she continued.
"People already see you as a boy."
I looked away.
"That doesn't mean I am one."
She didn't respond immediately.
Then—
"It will be easier if everyone only knows you as Andrew."
That sentence stayed in my head.
Like it got stuck there.
My phone buzzed on the table.
I glanced at it.
Sarah.
"Are you at school?"
I stared at the message.
Then typed—
"No."
Almost instantly—
"Why?"
My fingers hovered.
"I'm staying home."
There was a pause.
Then—
"Oh."
That was it.
I frowned slightly.
That wasn't like her.
Not at all.
"You should eat," my mom said.
I hadn't touched anything.
"I'm not hungry."
She didn't push.
She just stood up.
"We start tomorrow," she said.
Then walked away.
I stayed there.
Staring at nothing.
My chest still felt tight.
Worse now.
I tried to take a deep breath.
But it didn't go in properly.
Like my body forgot how to.
Everything felt… distant.
Like I wasn't fully there.
Like I was watching everything happen from far away.
No school.
No normal life.
No control.
Just…
Andrew.
And for the first time…
it didn't feel temporary anymore...