Chapter 354. Our Decision
For a long while, no one spoke inside the command tent.
No one wanted to be the first to break the silence.
It was the kind of matter where putting one's thoughts into words seemed liable to shatter the fragile balance that still remained.
Liaoyang was not merely a question of one city.
The name of Balhae, Jin's rule, Goryeo's guarantee, and the fate of the submitted soldiers were all entangled within it.
Youngwoo was the first to break the silence.
He slowly rose and bowed to those gathered.
"You have all worked hard. After such a great battle, your exhaustion must be deep. If it does not violate courtesy, I will take my leave first."
Without another word, Youngwoo stepped out of the command tent.
Cold wind struck his face.
Wine, anger, and exhaustion twisted together inside his chest.
He mounted his horse and held the reins loosely.
The horse kept turning its head, then finally began walking wherever it pleased.
Youngwoo let it.
What did it matter where they went?
Not everyone thinks as I do.
He had thought he could persuade them with words.
But men yielded easily before the fatigue and interests directly in front of them.
He had gone so far as to say he would resign, so someone would surely act.
And if they still refused to move in the end, then perhaps resigning really was the right thing to do.
The word kin kept returning to him.
One root.
Unification.
The same blood.
Yet those words had too often been nothing more than names and slogans raised by unjust power.
Unity is important, so obey me without question.
For the greater cause, do as you are told.
Such words had been used to silence people.
Unless those who oppressed their own kin in the name of kinship and unification were broken, there would be neither kinship nor unification for them.
His thoughts were harsh.
The horse walked slowly across the wide plain of Hubodagang beneath the winter wind.
He did not know how far he had gone when the sound of three or four horses approached from behind.
Thinking it might be an urgent military order, Youngwoo looked back.
It was Go Hoewon and his party.
Go Hoewon waved from a distance.
"Enough, man."
He rode closer and stopped beside Youngwoo.
Go Youngchang and Okjeong followed behind him.
Go Hoewon looked at Youngwoo's face and clicked his tongue.
"You pushed too hard. I am grateful for the feeling behind it, but this is not something that can be accomplished by determination alone."
Youngwoo answered quietly.
"I hated the people who simply sat there saying nothing more."
Go Hoewon instead tried to calm him.
"That is how the world usually works.
"First, they call you with fine words and recruit you.
"Once you have shed blood, they give you a reasonable share and tell you to step aside.
"If you ask for a little more, they say that they too are in difficult circumstances, that the time is not right, that you must endure for the greater cause."
Youngwoo lowered his head.
"I am sorry."
Go Hoewon shook his head.
"You have nothing to apologize for.
"Your words—that we should gather beneath the greater banner of destroying Liao—gave us a direction.
"Because of those words, we stood at Hubodagang.
"And those who survived today know what their blood was spent for."
Even hearing that praise did not ease Youngwoo's heart.
He understood the others' exhaustion.
They had suffered.
They were tired.
They wanted rest.
Because Liaoyang was not an immediate threat before their eyes, they wanted to put it off.
Even if a comrade were drowning and shouting for help, a man exhausted enough might still want to sit for just one moment before moving again.
Youngwoo did not fail to understand that feeling.
But then such men should not speak of kinship again.
They should speak of their exhaustion instead.
What right did they have to invoke kinship?
Youngwoo looked up at the sky.
Winter stars shone coldly overhead.
"We leave tomorrow."
Go Hoewon asked,
"How?"
Youngwoo raised one arm.
"I will go with you, even if it is only me. I am stronger than I look."
Go Youngchang asked with a grave expression,
"What should we do?"
Youngwoo answered immediately.
"Prepare your equipment.
"Check the horses and prepare fodder.
"Above all, armor.
"Repair your armor.
"Replace torn cords, change broken lamellar plates, and inspect your shields and spears again.
"We leave tomorrow morning.
"I want to depart quietly before dawn.
"Let us take Liaoyang back.
"Was that not the homeland of our ancestors long ago?"
Go Hoewon asked quietly,
"And the country?"
Youngwoo's expression hardened.
"I do not know.
"I know nothing about that sort of thing.
"Was it not trying to settle such questions first that ruined everything before?
"Later Balhae. Jeongan. Olja. Heungyo… there were surely others.
"Each must have had its own circumstances and reasons.
"But none ultimately achieved what they sought.
"If we follow the same road, we will likely end the same way.
"Before arguing over the name of a state and political power, we should first provide a city and military base where the Balhae soldiers can return and live.
"We should do what we can first."
Go Hoewon released a long breath.
"Haa…"
Youngwoo continued.
"We could even consider submitting to Goryeo instead.
"If we take Liaoyang and then offer it to Goryeo…"
Okjeong immediately replied,
"That would bring war with Jin."
Youngwoo gave a bitter smile.
"So we call ourselves one, yet in the end we are not one."
Go Hoewon answered heavily,
"That is so. We cannot merge so easily."
Youngwoo nodded.
He had already known the answer.
It was easy to say they had come from the same root.
Becoming one state was another matter.
Between the two stood command of armies, taxation, control of cities, and the ambitions of commanders.
People spoke of kinship, yet the moment a city or a body of troops was at stake, they first calculated their own share.
"For now, we will recover Liaodong.
"The negotiations can come afterward.
"Whether it becomes Jin, Balhae, or Goryeo, the men above us can decide the name.
"But they need somewhere to return to, do they not?"
Go Hoewon remained silent for a long time.
Then he looked at Youngwoo and slowly bowed his head.
"Thank you."
Youngwoo could not answer.
This was not something for which he deserved gratitude.
He was only trying to take responsibility for words he had already spoken.
The night wind swept across the plain.
Far away, the lights of the command tents flickered.
Beyond them, the direction of Liaoyang lay buried in darkness.
Okjeong spoke quietly.
"You said we leave at dawn tomorrow.
"You should go inside and rest."
Youngwoo gave a faint laugh.
"This is rest.
"If I stay inside the command tent, I have to keep meeting people.
"They are people I ought to be glad to see, but every time I speak with them, my heart grows heavier.
"Everyone has circumstances.
"Everyone has reasons.
"Everyone says something different.
"Listening to each of those words one by one tires me more than swinging a spear on the battlefield."
Okjeong watched him in silence for a while.
The flush of wine still remained on his face, and exhaustion lay deep around his eyes.
Yet whenever he spoke of Liaoyang, his voice became clear again.
He was a man who thought of his promises before his own body.
Okjeong said softly,
"I will not forget what is in your heart, Commander Yi."