Chapter 166 — The Aesthetics of Leaving
After offering Ogemai a few more explanations and sending him away, Youngwoo called for So Cheollyong.
When he explained the situation from beginning to end, So Cheollyong offered the wisdom that was his alone.
"Their atrocities are severe, yes. But pretending not to see it and letting it pass is also one way…"
"That is true, but… I want to stop now. Still, I feel that would be discourteous to the people who trusted me and followed me here."
"What is there to do? We are soldiers of Goryeo. Until another order comes, we continue as we are. Do not think about us. Leave if you must. You suffered enough. Who would say anything? You are practically a Daoist fox now. Asking you to watch that mess and stay still makes no sense."
"Thank you."
He called Kim Yoon-gyeong and told him everything that had happened.
Kim Yoon-gyeong's brow creased at once.
"Ah, you dragged us all the way here…"
"I am sorry. I do not think I can do this any longer."
Kim Yoon-gyeong fell silent for a while.
Youngwoo was only a jungnangjang, but he stood at the center of the Goryeo advisory force of three hundred men.
They had lost their head.
Another leader could be appointed, yes.
But that would not be easy.
It would not run as well as before.
Youngwoo seemed ignorant, unlearned, and without leadership, yet the organization under him had run remarkably well.
The goal had been clear, and everyone had helped.
The Jurchens had treated the words of the Goryeo soldiers as precious rules and tried to do exactly as they were told.
At the center of that had been trust in Youngwoo.
Would things run the same without him?
"I have no confidence without you, Jungnangjang…"
"A country has been founded, and we have done enough. Could this not be the right time to withdraw?"
Kim Yoon-gyeong shouted.
"How can you slip out alone like that!"
Youngwoo looked at him for a moment, then spoke.
"I am sorry."
Kim Yoon-gyeong waved his hand.
"Just live roughly! Can you not simply say that is how things are and move on?"
Youngwoo lowered his head.
"That is how it should be. And I have lived that way until now… but from now on, I mean to stop."
Kim Yoon-gyeong looked at him once more, then turned away.
He said nothing more.
The door closed.
It became quiet.
Youngwoo stood there for a moment.
He steadied his breath once and sat down.
Slowly, he looked around.
Familiar things entered his eyes.
It was simple.
A field lodging on bare ground, ready to be left again at any time.
He sat for a moment and looked around.
Then Gyeongtaek came in.
"Do you need anything?"
Youngwoo raised his head.
"Hm. I am sorry to all of you."
Gyeongtaek smiled.
"Ah, why be sorry? Thanks to you, we had an interesting time for a good while."
Youngwoo rose from his seat.
"I will disappear quietly."
Gyeongtaek nodded.
"I have prepared three horses. You need only bring what you truly need."
"Even packing feels tiresome."
Gyeongtaek took a step back and said,
"I thought you would want to leave quietly. I tied them behind the ash tree."
Youngwoo nodded.
"Thank you."
Gyeongtaek straightened his back.
"Loyalty!"
Youngwoo reached out and pulled Gyeongtaek toward him.
Their armor struck together with a dull sound.
Their bodies met firmly.
A short breath passed between them.
Gyeongtaek called him quietly.
"Jungnangjang."
Youngwoo said nothing.
He tightened his hand once, then slowly let go.
The two separated.
Youngwoo picked up his spear.
He turned his wrist and checked its balance.
He tapped the edge of his shield.
He also checked the short cavalry shield.
Gyeongtaek stepped closer.
Without a word, he took them.
He arranged them one by one.
He pulled the straps tight.
He retied the loose places.
The preparations were finished.
When Youngwoo came outside, the entire Fifth Detachment was waiting.
In the early dawn, before the darkness had fully lifted, they stood in silence.
Their formation held firm, and not one of them stepped forward.
For the man leaving because his will had clashed with those above him, they had gathered without a word.
Their hearts had gathered into one without anyone teaching them how.
There were no words.
Their eyes reached him first.
They already knew.
They knew what kind of fight he had fought, and what he had endured to stand here.
The times they had endured through harsh days, striking against the world and resisting it, lay quietly piled in each heart.
Youngwoo met their eyes one by one.
When he offered his hand, that hand was taken without hesitation.
It was a hard hand.
A hand toughened by gripping blades and drawing bows.
He gripped each hand firmly and pulled each man into an embrace.
The moment was short, yet long years were held within it.
Someone spoke quietly.
"Loyalty."
That single word spread.
"Loyalty."
"Loyalty."
It grew louder.
Like breath long pressed down finally breaking free, it rose from the depths of their chests.
The dimness of dawn was heavy.
Youngwoo grasped the reins of the horses tied beneath the ash tree and drew them out.
He stowed the long weapon and checked the saddle.
It had been tied with remarkable care.
Two packhorses and one spare horse followed.
Slowly, he walked out of Buyeobu.
The military camp lay low and sunken in the dark.
A few embers were dying out, and smoke brushed the ground.
A sentry lifted his head.
Without a sound, he cried loyalty.
At the edge of the military camp, the air changed, and the scent of grass rose.
A man should not sit down and remain simply because he has nowhere to go.