"Nanami... did you know? The truth is, the Earth is flat...! The whole 'the Earth is round' thing is just one giant conspiracy..."
"Haaah..."
The patients were a complete disaster. K and Kyoko Kirigiri were burning up with fever, yet still clinging to each other in a delirious embrace. Owari had burst into tears because a leaf fell off one of the potted plants in the room. And Komaeda just kept spewing incomprehensible nonsense without pause.
Ibuki, at least, wasn't causing trouble and was staying relatively quiet... but that didn't change the fact that she was just as sick as the rest of them.
I'd just stepped out of Komaeda's hospital room, sighing for what felt like the hundredth time, when suddenly a furious shout exploded from somewhere in the distance.
"Y-you crazy bastards!! You're still high school students, damn it!!"
My heart lurched. Worried something had happened, I ran over in a panic—only to find Kuzuryu, face blazing red, screaming at Kyoko Kirigiri and K, who were lying on the bed, wrapped around each other and shamelessly kissing with their tongues tangled together.
"Hm...? No... we're adults, though...? I mean, sure, our physical age is high school level, but still..."
"What kind of deranged bullshit is that!?"
"Young master... please calm yourself. It may be better to simply leave them be..."
Beside him, Pekoyama was sweating bullets as she tried to restrain him.
"Hmm... by the way, you two don't do this kind of thing?"
"W-what did you just say?"
"Why not? You've spent your whole lives together, haven't you? You grew up seeing everything there was to see, so surely at least once..."
"....."
At that, both Kuzuryu and Pekoyama's faces turned bright red. Wait... were they really that close?
"It hasn't even... been ten minutes yet..."
Slurp.
"Hngh..."
The moment the two fever-addled lovebirds resumed their nauseating public display, Kuzuryu and Pekoyama gave up with utterly exhausted expressions and headed downstairs.
I had zero intention of standing there and watching that romantic catastrophe unfold, so I shook my head and started down after them—then spotted Tsumiki in the distance.
I still hadn't been taught the nursing rules yet, so I figured I'd ask her about them and check on her condition while I was at it. But as I approached, something felt... off.
"Huff... huuuhhhhhh..."
"Tsumiki-san?"
"Huuuh..."
"What's wrong!? Tsumiki-san!?"
Something was definitely wrong with her. Her breathing was ragged, her face was flushed bright red, and her whole body was trembling. Wait... could it be...?
"T-Tsumiki-san... don't tell me you've caught the Despair Disease..."
"K... K..."
"Huh?"
"K... K-san... K-saaaan...! Huuuhhhhhh..."
Ah. Thank god. It didn't look like the Despair Disease after all. She'd just seen that outrageously indecent scene and gone into full-blown panic.
"Tsumiki-san... calm down first, and then the nursing rules—"
"I-I..."
"...?"
"I DON'T KNOOOOOOWWWWW!!"
With a completely shattered, panicked expression, Tsumiki bolted downstairs. Judging by the startled voices of Kuzuryu and Pekoyama shouting after her, asking where she was going, it sounded like she'd run straight out of the hospital.
'This difficulty level is... way too high...'
Wearing the expression of someone who had already transcended earthly suffering, I started chasing after the fleeing Tsumiki.
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"Ugh... gross... we're really going to stay in a dump like this?"
"Saionji... just bear with it a little. We all decided on this together, remember...?"
"...Tch."
"My, what an atmosphere. It feels exactly like the kind of motel you'd find in a detective novel. Usually, a place like this has at least one murderer lurking somewhere insi—"
"S-Sonia! Please don't say such ominous things...!"
Once we arrived at the motel, we started unpacking and checking the place over. And honestly, the condition of the motel wasn't exactly great.
Togami swept his gaze across the building, then ran a finger along the window frame. When he saw the dust that came away on his fingertip, he frowned and muttered under his breath.
"Hm... this motel is in a rather unsanitary state. If we're going to stay here, we'll need to give it a thorough cleaning first."
A moment later, Togami gathered all of us together and made his declaration in a firm, commanding voice.
"This is a leader's order. From this point on, we divide the work and clean this motel. Every single person will participate. No exceptions."
After that, everyone began splitting up the tasks. As for me, I ended up taking the most ordinary job possible: sweeping the floor.
'If it's just sweeping, I should be able to manage as well as everyone else...'
I rolled up my sleeves and headed for the cleaning supply closet—only for someone to suddenly grab my shoulder.
"Yo, protagonist!"
"M-me? You're talking to me?"
"Yeah! You!"
The one grabbing my shoulder was Souda. He flashed me a bright grin and immediately launched into his request.
"The motel's pipes and faucets are busted... and Sonia says she wants to fix them herself. But there's no way I can let the princess of an entire kingdom get her hands dirty with something like that! So c'mon, help me out!"
"Okay. What do you need me to do?"
"First, move this toolbox over there... and while I'm working on the repairs, stand next to me and hand me whatever tool I ask for!"
"That much, I can do..."
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.
.
"Thanks, Hinata! You made this way easier! Sonia, what did you think of— huh? Where'd she go...?"
"She was watching us fix things earlier, but then she saw one of Tanaka's hamsters running around and her eyes lit up. She chased after it..."
"Grrrgh...!! Tanaakaaa!!!"
Leaving Souda behind as he tore at his hair in frustration, I headed back to my assigned area to finally sweep the floor—only for Saionji to stop me this time.
"Hinata big bro, got a minute?"
"Hm...?"
"If you don't have anything to do, can you help me? I need to clean the windows, but I can't reach..."
Saionji stuck out her lips in a pout and grumbled. Considering how short she was, I guess it really would be hard for her—but I had my own job to do.
"Uh... I'm supposed to be sweeping the floor right now..."
"Useless bastard... no wonder girls don't like you..."
"W-what did you say!?"
"Nothing... I was just talking to myself. Heehee..."
There was no way I was going to let that kind of provocation slide. I snatched the rag out of Saionji's hands and marched over to the window.
"Yep... so easy... I guess I'll use you as a substitute for K big bro for a while."
Ignoring whatever she was muttering behind me, I started scrubbing the windows with the grim determination to prove her wrong.
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"Thanks~!! Wow, Hinata big bro, so you really are useful for something after all?"
"...That was supposed to be a compliment, right?"
Now that I thought about it, I was pretty sure Saionji had just used me. And I still hadn't finished my own task. If I didn't hurry up and sweep the floor, Togami was definitely going to chew me out...
"Hinata! Help me out!"
"What is it this time...?"
"The kitchen on the first island is kind of far from here... and there's no dining area inside the motel either... so I want to set up a simple outdoor kitchen and dining space..."
"Sorry, I still haven't even finished my own work. Ask someone else..."
"I did. Every single other person said they were busy..."
"I'm busy too!!"
"Really? I just assumed you were free, since you kept helping everyone else... what a shame. If you'd helped me, I was going to reward you with a special dish that's great for stamina..."
"So what exactly do you need help with, Hanamura?"
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"Done...! Now I can whip up delicious food on the spot! Thanks, Hinata!"
"Whew... I'm exhausted..."
Setting up the makeshift kitchen had been way harder than I'd expected. I was completely drained, practically melting into a puddle, when Hanamura leaned toward me with a suspiciously lewd grin.
"But still... you don't look like the type, yet you seem awfully concerned about your stamina... hm?"
"Ah... hahaha... well..."
"Of course, it's because of that gamer gi—"
"What are you talking about!? I've just been feeling run-down lately, that's all! Don't get weird ideas!"
"Eheheh... such a forceful denial is basically an admission..."
Leaving Hanamura behind—somehow already bleeding from the nose—I finally tried to go sweep the floor for real this time, only for someone to suddenly call out my name.
"Hinata-kun!! Help!!"
"Please, enough already!! I'm not public property!!"
"H-Hinata-kun...?"
I snapped and shouted at the top of my lungs, but then I realized that voice was familiar. A second later, it hit me—that was Nanami's voice. I hurriedly turned toward the sound, already trying to explain myself, but—
"N-Nanami...! This is a misunderstanding—!"
"H-Hinata-kun! Watch out...!"
"Huuuuuhhh!!"
"Uh... uaaah!?"
Thud!!
Tsumiki, sprinting at full speed with her eyes shut and head lowered, slammed straight into me. The next thing I knew, both of us were tumbling across the ground.
"H-hyaah!?"
"...Ghk!"
If things went badly, Tsumiki could've been seriously hurt, so I wrapped my arms around her and twisted mid-fall, taking as much of the impact onto myself as I could while we rolled.
"Ow... that hurts..."
"H-Hinata-san... th-thank youuu..."
My clothes and Tsumiki's had both been torn in several places, but at least she seemed unharmed. I let out a relieved breath—only for Tsumiki to suddenly blush bright red and mumble:
"U-um... if you could... let go now..."
"Huh...?"
"Ah...! S-s-sorryyy!! How dare someone like me even say that...! You can keep holding me if you want... hehe..."
Come to think of it, from an outside perspective, this looked catastrophically bad. To a third party, it probably looked like I had Tsumiki pinned underneath me by force while hugging her. And our clothes were torn too— ah. I saw something I absolutely was not supposed to see.
My face went scarlet. I immediately let go of Tsumiki, scrambled to my feet, and put some distance between us. It hadn't been intentional, but I'd caught a glimpse of her underwear, and once my face turned red, there was no sign it was going back to normal anytime soon.
I was desperately trying to cool off and force my expression back into something neutral when Nanami's voice rang out again.
"H-Hinata-kun!"
"Hm? What's wrong...?"
"C-could you talk with me for a little while...?"
"Huh? But I'm supposed to be cleaning the floor right now..."
"It'll only take a minute...! Just come with me for a little bit...!"
Nanami looked visibly anxious, and there was a pleading urgency in her voice. Seeing her like that made my resolve crumble. In the end, I decided to follow her.
"Tsumiki-san... I think it'd be best if you went back to the hospital now."
"Y-yes... yesss... I'm sorryyy..."
Nanami watched Tsumiki stumble off toward the hospital for a moment, then turned and led me somewhere else.
At this rate... was I ever going to get around to sweeping that floor today?
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"What, you're back? Where'd you run off to in such a hurry earlier...?"
"Did something urgent happen?"
"P-please stop talking about that alreadyyy!!"
Face burning red, Tsumiki cried out before finally starting to explain the nursing rules to Kuzuryu and Pekoyama.
"...I see. Understood. As expected of an [Ultimate Nurse]."
"If we do it exactly like this... yeah, it should definitely work."
"T-th-thank you for the praiseee... then... haaawn..."
"Hm? Tsumiki? What's wrong?"
"Ah... s-sorryyy... I'm suddenly... so sleepy..."
"Well, you were running around like crazy earlier... so I guess that makes sense."
"I'm reallyyy sorry...! But this isn't by my own will... hwaaawn..."
Kuzuryu and Pekoyama watched her rub her eyes and yawn over and over, then exchanged a sigh before speaking.
"In that condition, your nursing will suffer... so get some sleep for now. Once you've properly shaken off the drowsiness, we'll switch out."
"B-but..."
"If it's only for a little while, the two of us can handle it. To begin with, we never intended to leave all the nursing to you alone."
"T-then... ten minutes... I'll sleep for just... ten minutes... and then come back... to nurse them..."
Sleeping was forbidden inside the hospital, so Tsumiki staggered off toward the lodgings.
Kuzuryu and Pekoyama watched her go with strained smiles, then headed upstairs to take care of the others.
"Just ten minutes... only ten minutes... then I'll wake up..."
Meanwhile, as Tsumiki muttered to herself and made her way back toward the lodgings, she suddenly stopped walking. And in that instant, her voice turned glacial.
"I guess I need to decide who to kill."
She stood there for a long moment, frozen in place with a chilling expression on her face. Then, just as suddenly, confusion overtook her features.
"Huh...? What did I just say..."
After scratching her head for a moment, Tsumiki let out a huge yawn and started walking toward her cottage again.