Chapter 274: Two New Members
He didn't need to upgrade the Devil Fruit right now. Ten days and nights of continuous combat had shown him exactly where his ceiling was — sustained high-output combat was draining in a way his constitution hadn't fully been able to handle. He'd been close to the edge by the end. A hundred more Void Beasts, maybe two hundred, and he'd have ended up in the same category as Sengoku — badly injured and needing Josuke's attention.
Before testing himself in the Arena, sleep came first.
The house cleaning could wait. He cracked a window for fresh air, opened his laptop on the nightstand, set a music playlist on shuffle, and dropped face-first onto the bed.
He was unconscious within five minutes.
What woke him wasn't the alarm clock. The battery had died at some point during the ten days away. What woke him was the Chat Group — two notification chimes in rapid succession pulling him out of sleep, leaving him blinking at the ceiling and suppressing a yawn.
The rest had done something. His energy was mostly back. His stomach, on the other hand, was making its own observations about the situation. Whether the Hokage Building dining hall was still an option at this hour seemed doubtful, and he had some remaining sense of shame about showing up uninvited past normal meal hours.
He checked the notifications.
Two new members.
"Another two at once. Which means — less than a year in and we're already breaking twenty members?"
He ran the calculation. Konoha was in November now. He'd joined the Chat Group in January. Eleven months, and if no one arrived next month, that would close out the year at twenty members. Three hundred and sixty-five days for twenty entries — not a blistering pace by any measure.
[Ding! "Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa" has joined the Dimensional Chat Group!]
[Ding! "Master Roshi" has joined the Dimensional Chat Group!]
Both handles made him pause.
"Miyaa" was recognizable immediately — the phonetic rendering of a Japanese honorific, specifically the one a particular character used when referring to her older sister. From Wataten: An Angel Flew Down to Me, the slice-of-life series about a shy college student and the elementary school girls in her life. The one character who said miyaa-nee constantly was Hoshino Hinata — an irrepressibly energetic elementary schooler with an older-sister obsession, and the only character in the entire series who used that phrase as a verbal tic.
He recalled that Wataten had no male characters whatsoever. Not even a crowd-scene background extra of ambiguous gender. Everything in that series was female. It sat comfortably in the yuri-adjacent category of slice-of-life, more committed to the bit than the overtly romantic genre, and probably more troubling for that.
Master Roshi, on the other hand, required no analysis. Anyone who had touched anime in any form knew that name. Dragon Ball. Three hundred-plus years old. Martial arts master. Goku's teacher. The Kamehameha.
If this was actually the Dragon Ball world's Master Roshi, that was a different scale of concern. Master Roshi going all out could destroy the Moon with a single technique. Even in his relaxed state, he was one of Earth's foundational martial artists.
The concern was timing. Early Dragon Ball Roshi versus Saiyan Saga Roshi were categorically different entities, because later Dragon Ball involved people using planets as casual props.
He turned his attention to the group chat, where the existing members were already welcoming the newcomers. Most of the heavier hitters had apparently taken their Points straight to the Arena after spending them — the active voices were the usual reliable socializers.
WolfKingOfQingQingGrasslands: @Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa @Master Roshi — welcome! For information about the Chat Group, please see the group announcement in the upper right corner. I am Wolffy, King of the Qingqing Grasslands — new members, please remember this face!
I'm Rolling In It: I am Tony Stark, majority shareholder of Stark Industries and the Marvel world's most attractive superhero. New member — if you have any interest in science, Uncle Tony is available to meet in person!
I'm Rolling In It: Wolffy and I together constitute the Chat Group's foremost intellectual firepower!
Eternally Seventeen: Excuse me. Are the two of you ignoring me? In terms of intellect I am not inferior to either of you.
I'm Rolling In It: Ahem, ahem — the three foremost intellects, slip of the tongue, slip of the tongue.
RawrSoFierce: Huh?!
I'm Rolling In It: …Fine. Four foremost intellects! Unbelievable. Once Uncle Tony builds a superior suit of armor, I will establish absolute dominance over all of you.
Kaguya-sama: Could someone give the new members a chance to actually speak?
Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa: …I must be dreaming. Why is there something so strange inside my head? Also the group announcement has a lot of things I don't really understand.
Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa: Are you… the kind of people in movies who kidnap children? I, I, I — my meat doesn't taste good, please don't sell me!
Eternally Seventeen: Ara? Is this new member a child? By the way that reads — nine to eleven at most?
Kaguya-sama: This calls for @Admin-sama, who knows all things!
RawrSoFierce: …If my guess is right, yes, a child.
RawrSoFierce: @Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa — is your name Hinata?
Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa: …H-how do you know my name?
Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa: N-no — wait — I'm not called Hinata. I'm called — I'm called — I'm called — I'm definitely not called Hoshino Hinata!
Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa: Don't come near me!!!
"…"
Ryū let out a helpless laugh. She'd decided the Chat Group was a child-trafficking operation and was doing her best to resist.
And in the process had just announced her family name.
From the tone and phrasing, Ryū was ninety percent certain this was Hoshino Hinata from Wataten. The age-appropriate reasoning, the absolute certainty that the group announcement was incomprehensible, the "miyaa" handle — it all added up.
She'd understand eventually. A few days in the Chat Group and even a child would figure it out. The group announcement was simple and direct by design.
The other new member, Master Roshi, had remained quiet. Probably working through the announcement with the kind of deliberate care an experienced martial artist might apply.
Which was, in fact, exactly what was happening.
In the Dragon Ball world, a very old man with a very white beard was staring into the middle distance with an expression of profound bewilderment, murmuring to himself.
"A Dimensional Chat Group… such a thing existing in this world. If everything this group announcement describes is true — this surpasses seven Dragon Balls. Seven Dragon Balls. I'm having trouble accepting this."
Master Roshi was many things on the surface — an old pervert, an eccentric hermit — but underneath that, he was several centuries of martial wisdom. A situation like this demanded clear thinking.
If the Chat Group was real, then the people speaking in it were all from different worlds.
Which meant his world was, to those other worlds, a fictional setting.
"Dimensional worlds — anime, manga, film… is my world a fictional world too? The logical conclusion is almost absurd. But the evidence is compelling — otherwise why would there be a Chat Group like this?"
He breathed slowly, steadied himself, and typed.
Master Roshi: Hello, everyone. I am Master Roshi — some call me the Turtle Hermit, others call me the World's Greatest Martial Arts Teacher. An aged Earth martial artist. I look forward to getting along.
Edward Newgate: Oh? A new member? Gurararara, welcome!
Edward Newgate: Right after using Points to upgrade, Sengoku decided he wanted to spar. The result: I beat him a good number of times in the Arena. Let that be a lesson about getting too confident. Gurararara!
Master Roshi: Beat… beaten?
Edward Newgate: The Arena doesn't allow permanent death — anyone who dies there comes back for some Points, and the next round starts fresh. I put Sengoku down about a dozen times.
Senbei Is So Tasty: Insufferable Whitebeard. I will challenge you again in six months.
Edward Newgate: Gurararara — however many times you want.
"…"
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