Chapter 185: Or He's Gay
"What are those little black dots? They look like they're falling out of the formation… don't tell me that's the 'Undead Legion' from the quest description."
Umaru had made it downstairs and was standing outside her building, staring up at the magic formation hanging in the middle distance. Her expression was one of pure shock.
"If those really are undead soldiers, there are way too many of them. That's already a few thousand, isn't it?"
While she was still processing this, a familiar voice came from her right.
"Uma — Umaru-chan? Umaru-chan?!"
The first call didn't register. The second snapped her back.
She turned.
A girl was standing a few metres away to her right — somewhere between 153 and 158 centimetres, Umaru estimated, with reddish-brown hair and a cheerful, youthful look about her. She had a certain notable physical attribute that was one or two sizes ahead of Umaru in that department, and it seemed to sway slightly as she turned.
Umaru felt briefly dizzy.
Wait — why am I noticing that? I'm a girl. And this is absolutely not the time for this.
She pulled herself together. "Ebina?!"
Ebina Nana was one of Umaru's small handful of genuine friends. They lived in the same building — Ebina on the first floor, Umaru on the second — and were in the same class at school.
"Umaru-chan, you've been standing here for a while… did something happen?"
Ebina had barely finished asking when her peripheral vision caught something. Her cute face went completely blank. She looked up at the formation in the air, unable to believe what she was seeing.
"Wh… what is that?!"
Umaru was glad Ebina was her friend. She was glad to see her, genuinely. But at this exact moment her expression was stiff, because the Admin and the others had just said they were crossing over, and if they arrived now—
She trusted Ebina to keep a secret. That wasn't the issue. It was just that the timing was awkward.
At least the surrounding area seemed to be empty apart from the two of them. Small mercies.
And then Umaru's vision went dark.
Something covered her eyes — a pair of hands, slender and cool to the touch. Not cold enough to be unpleasant. Actually, somehow, exactly comfortable. The skin that brushed against her face was impossibly smooth.
Before Umaru could react, someone leaned close to her ear.
She could feel warm breath against it.
Her earlobe went red instantly. A small involuntary shiver ran through her.
Then a voice — clear and musical, with a lazy, honeyed quality — came from right beside her ear:
"Guess who, little Umaru-chan~"
Unmistakably female. And somehow, Umaru recognised even the faint perfume.
Because it was a girl's voice, and because she recognised it, Umaru didn't struggle. She stood still for a few seconds, thinking.
A flash of realisation.
"Yukari-senpai! That's you, isn't it? You got here so fast!"
Yukari released her hands and looked at Umaru as she turned around. She smoothed a strand of golden hair back with one finger, then lightly tapped Umaru's forehead.
"Ahh~ you figured it out right away. This is our first time meeting in the real world, little Umaru-chan — before it's always been the Arena."
It really was her! And the speed—
Umaru felt a swell of joy, mixed with a thread of worry. Because Ebina had clearly just seen all of that.
The Admin won't mind, will he?
"I know what you're thinking," Yukari said lightly. "If I were worried about being seen, do you think I'd appear in plain sight? Relax." Her gaze drifted past Umaru to Ebina, settling on a particular region of Ebina's person with undisguised interest. Then it shifted briefly to the corresponding region of Umaru's person.
Yukari placed a hand on Umaru's shoulder with the weight of someone imparting great wisdom.
"Umaru-chan, you need to work on developing your assets. The Admin has no interest in the flat-chested — why else do you think Little Kaguya has been throwing herself at him this whole time with zero results? Either he's indifferent to that type, or he's gay."
Umaru: "…Yukari-senpai, could we perhaps be serious for a moment."
She was suddenly reminded that the Admin had not been wrong about this.
Yukari-senpai truly had no restraint whatsoever.
"By the way — I can hear all of that." Ryū's voice came from behind Yukari. "You're standing in front of someone else and saying this kind of thing. Is there any part of you that considers moderation, even occasionally?"
Yukari blinked. Then recovered with a bright laugh. "Ahaha! The weather today is really… it really is… mmm, it's very green, isn't it!"
She looked up at the eerie jade-tinted sky and produced this observation as her best available subject change.
Ryū gave her a flat look. "Was that genuinely the best deflection you could come up with?"
"Yohohohohoho — the old man's here too! So that's the undead formation, is it? Quite a lot of strange things falling out of it — I must admit it's a little frightening~"
Kizaru's unhurried voice floated over from nearby. Somehow, at some point, his over-three-metre frame had materialised a few metres from Ryū, White Marine Justice cloak and all, pinstriped suit making his height look even more towering than usual.
He'd apparently just crossed over.
"A-Admin, hello! Kizaru-senpai, hello! It's — it's nice to meet you in person — please take care of me!"
Umaru startled badly at their sudden appearance, then hurriedly composed herself enough to bow.
Both of them were high-tier combat members of the Chat Group. Her seniors, both of them. She needed to make a decent impression.
"Wait — where's Tatsumaki-senpai? I don't see her."
Yukari pointed straight up.
"Little Tornado is flying. She looks standoffish but she's all bark — classic tsundere, soft on the inside. If you use the right approach, getting through to her is easy~"
Umaru: "…Yukari-senpai, please stop making that kind of joke."
Umaru was Chat Group enough to hold herself together now that the others had arrived. She was managing.
Ebina Nana, standing a short distance away, was not managing.
She stared at Yukari. Stared at Ryū. Stared at Kizaru. Then craned her neck back to look at the figure flying several dozen metres in the air.
Ebina became quietly convinced she was dreaming.
Because people did not fly without equipment.
Because normal people were not over three metres tall.
Because strangers did not simply materialise out of nowhere without warning, as if by teleportation.
Ryū and the others had appeared with no precursor whatsoever — one moment absent, next moment present.
And then there was whatever that enormous green ring in the sky was.
This could only happen in a dream. Surely.
Ebina pinched her own arm.
Ow.
It hurt.
It hurt, which meant—
"Umaru-chan," she said, in a very small voice, because the extremely tall man was giving off a pressure that made speaking loudly feel inadvisable. "I know this might not be the best timing for this question, but… are these all people you know?"
Umaru nodded without hesitation. "Yes. They're people I know. They have important things to deal with right now." She held Ebina's gaze. "Ebina — what happens today. Can you promise me you won't tell anyone?"
Ebina blinked. Then nodded slowly. "…O-okay."
At that moment, Ryū clapped his hands once. A clean, quiet sound.
"The undead have finished descending. Time to harvest."
Yukari nodded, smile still in place. "No more chat then."
"Ahh, a fight already — this old man needs to stretch his joints a bit~"
Kizaru rolled his wrists. His knuckles cracked softly.
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