Chapter 182: Umaru: Classic Reversal
The next morning, Might Guy arrived at Ryū's door at precisely 10:01 AM.
So precise that Ryū couldn't even find a target for his morning grumpiness. He'd said before 10:00. It was now 10:01. Guy had measured it to the minute.
"RYŪ-SENSEI! GOOD MORNING ON THIS GLORIOUS BLOOD-PUMPING YOUTHFUL DAY!!"
Ryū opened the door mid-yawn and immediately turned his eyes to the sky. He'd managed a decent sleep for once, only to be blasted out of it by a bowl-cut at full volume. Nobody would enjoy that.
And what was this "blood-pumping youthful morning" business — was Guy reading too many hot-blooded manga lately? The second-hand embarrassment was almost physical. Good thing Ryū had spent enough time as a shut-in to have developed some immunity to that kind of thing.
He pushed the envelope into Guy's hands without ceremony.
"Two techniques in there. One's called Iron Body, the other's Tempest Kick. Look them over and try to learn them if you want — no guarantees you'll manage it, but there's no harm in trying."
He met Guy's eyes.
"Once you've memorised the contents, destroy the pages immediately. You can shoot a basic fireball, right? Good. And listen — without my explicit permission, you don't teach these to anyone. I mean anyone. Even if the Fourth Hokage himself asks you, you keep your mouth shut. Understood?"
His tone was flat. His expression was flat. He was still three-quarters asleep and radiating the energy of a man who had not yet fully rejoined the living.
And yet somehow an inexplicable pressure descended on Guy anyway.
He swallowed quietly. Took the envelope. Nodded.
"No problem, Ryū-sensei! I swear on my youth — even if the Hokage-sama himself demands I share these techniques, I won't say a single word. If I break this oath… I'll answer for it with my life!"
"Ah — it's really not that seri— you know what, fine. Do whatever you want."
Ryū had been about to walk back the severity, but the look on Guy's face stopped him. That absolute conviction. He let it go.
Guy's social wiring might be missing a few components, but there were things he simply didn't waver on. This was one of them. It wouldn't be Guy if he folded on something like this.
"Go somewhere far away to practice. Anywhere you want — just not where it'll bother me."
He turned around, stepped back inside, and closed the door.
"YES, RYŪSENSEI!!"
The bellow followed him anyway.
Ryū's eye twitched. Did this kid not understand the concept of an indoor voice? That shout alone was probably enough to inform every shinobi within earshot that Ryū had just taken on a student.
Not that Ryū was admitting any such thing. He'd handed over two techniques. That was all.
As for why Guy kept calling him "sensei" — clearly the kid had a short circuit somewhere.
Yes. That was it. That was the full explanation.
He tracked Guy's departure with Observation Haki until the signature faded into the distance, then stretched his neck and muttered, "Wonder what happens to the Naruto world now that Guy has the Six Powers. Probably nothing that'll involve me — his big fights are over a decade away. And by then, even Kaguya Ōtsutsuki showing up wouldn't be a concern for anyone at the level this world will be at."
At the rate he'd grown in barely half a year, give him another ten years and he'd probably be using planets as marbles.
Assuming he didn't hit some kind of ceiling and stall out.
Not impossible. But a problem for future-Ryū.
He settled in to idle in the Chat Group — no quests running, no Points to spend on Arena time, nothing else to do. Chat was his only entertainment.
Would he ever get bored of it? Did anyone get tired of eating rice?
My True Form Is Cola: H-hey… Eriri-chan, why does this female lead concept sketch look exactly like me?!
My True Form Is Cola: The school uniform is literally the same!!
Street-Corner Illustrator: [Image] Hm? It's really that similar? Umaru-chan, you said last night I could reference your design but only partly, so I incorporated about half your features.
My True Form Is Cola: Except for the size difference in one department, this is basically identical to me!!
Street-Corner Illustrator: It's a coincidence, absolutely a coincidence, trust me! Look — [Image] — this is female lead #4, based on myself. That's what a hundred percent reference looks like.
Street-Corner Illustrator: [Image] And here's the Admin's concept sketch! Isn't he cool?
RawrSoFierce: …Why do I look kind of soft?
Street-Corner Illustrator: Soft? Hmm, let me adjust — I'll make the eyebrows sharper.
My True Form Is Cola: Mine needs fixing too! At least change the hairstyle!
"…"
Ryū scrolled back through the chat history. Eriri had posted concept sketches for her new manga — five of them, based on Ryū, Yukari, Kaguya, Umaru, and Eriri herself.
Despite having declined Eriri's invitation yesterday, the others had apparently been worn down by her persistence overnight.
Hence: five character designs.
Not quite a hundred percent faithful to the originals, but close — maybe eighty.
The Umaru sketch that had just prompted the complaint: pale orange long hair, dark amber eyes, the sixteen-year-old proportions, roughly 160cm tall. One cup size larger than the real Umaru. The school uniform was basically right. The one visible difference: Eriri had drawn her in white thigh-highs instead of the canonical black.
Ryū looked more carefully at his own design.
The main issue was the general impression of… softness. Of yielding.
Since when did he look like that?
He needed at least a little edge. Something assertive.
The manga's plot didn't interest him — a series with zero chapters drawn wasn't even a seedling, let alone something worth following. His only real concern was that Eriri not use his image for anything that would end up in the wrong hands.
The mental image of a certain category of reader encountering a manga starring his likeness sent a genuine shiver through him.
Male readers especially. Absolutely not.
My True Form Is Cola: I said yes last night, but Eriri-chan, you have to revise it more! This looks way too much like me!
My True Form Is Cola: I'll die of second-hand embarrassment every time someone reads it!!
Street-Corner Illustrator: I'll buy you snacks every day!
My True Form Is Cola: No. You will not bribe adorable little Umaru.
Street-Corner Illustrator: And every yen this manga earns — ten percent, all of it, goes toward figures, manga volumes, and games, then sent to you as a red packet. Umaru-chan~
My True Form Is Cola: (w)e...
My True Form Is Cola: PLEASE give me a full hundred-percent faithful recreation in this manga!!!
My True Form Is Cola: I'm counting on you, Eriri-sensei!!
My True Form Is Cola: No take-backs!!!
Kaguya-sama: Classic reversal…
RawrSoFierce: Classic reversal…
Wandering Little Planet: Classic reversal…
"…"
Ryū's mouth curved slightly. He had to say — buying Umaru off was almost embarrassingly easy. Games, figures, snacks, manga — drop all four at once and she had no resistance whatsoever.
If anything, Eriri had overplayed her hand. If she'd only promised the figures, she'd have had three trump cards left in reserve for later use.
The true Noble Phantasm against Doma Umaru.
Eriri had spent them all in one shot. A slight miscalculation.
If it were Ryū, he'd have dangled them one at a time and stretched it out.
…Why did he suddenly sound like he had extensive experience luring teenage girls into things?
No. All a misunderstanding. Moving on.
"Right — I forgot to check in today. Maximum is a hundred Points, minimum is one, but something beats nothing. Even twenty Points means one Arena revival. Ever since the Arena opened, I've started caring about twenty Points. That place really does drain you dry."
He tapped the daily sign-in.
70 Points.
Not bad. His luck was holding.
Seventy meant three Arena revivals and change. A reasonable morning.
And then —
A notification window popped open.
☆☆☆
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