Chapter 91: What Kind of Goose Is a Penguin?
Time slipped by, and the Group Event's allotted duration came to an end before anyone knew it.
Three days wasn't long, after all. Even at twenty-four hours a day, that was only seventy-two hours total.
Seventy-two hours wasn't even enough to finish a proper playthrough of a video game.
Three days had vanished in the blink of an eye.
* * *
When the scenery shifted once more and the familiar room materialized around him, Ryū exhaled slowly, running a finger across the desk—which had already accumulated a thin layer of dust.
He'd cleaned the place right before leaving for the One-Punch Man world.
And now, coming back… it looked like he'd have to clean it again.
The air in Konoha wasn't really any different from the air in the OPM world.
But being back in the Hidden Leaf gave him a vague sense of familiarity.
Probably because he'd been here for a while now.
He'd been living in Konohagakure for nearly two and a half months at this point.
From the clueless, freshly transmigrated newbie he'd been at the start, to what he'd call a reasonably qualified Dimensional Chat Group Admin now—even if "reasonably qualified" was a title he'd bestowed upon himself. But hey, a self-awarded qualification was still a qualification.
"Two and a half months since transmigrating into the Naruto world. Time really flies," Ryū murmured, then stopped dwelling on it.
Time was time. Once it was gone, it was gone.
With the Dimensional Chat Group in his life, he didn't really need to worry about lifespan issues.
And once the concern about lifespan was off the table, Ryū had gradually stopped paying attention to the concept of time altogether. His recent five-day, five-night gaming marathon without a single hour of sleep was proof enough of that.
He gave his room a quick once-over, sweeping up the bit of dust that had gathered. Fortunately, he'd only been gone three days this time—not like the last trip, which had lasted over ten.
The dust was minimal. No cobwebs.
Sweep the floor, wipe down the desk, and he was done.
* * *
Housekeeping complete, Ryū shifted his consciousness into the Dimensional Chat Group. As usual, the chat was lively.
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: @Green Grasslands Wolf King — This one has sent you several Gift Packages via PM. They contain alien technology. Go ahead and accept them.
Green Grasslands Wolf King: Can do—backroom deal complete! Let me send the Air Cannon to Old Man Whitebeard first.
Edward Newgate: Gurararara! Much obliged, Wolffy. Mutton's on me—all you can eat!
The Little Wandering Planet: The big shots and their backroom deals… bottom-tier combatant trembles.
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: @The Little Wandering Planet — Speaking of which, Little Planet, you've been rolling around for a while now. Are the humans on your surface and the mountains and everything really okay?
The Little Wandering Planet: No idea what the principle behind it is, but they genuinely seem to be completely fine.
The Little Wandering Planet: The humans on me appear to be alive and well.
Kaguya-sama: This is probably just the almighty power of the chat group at work.
Kaguya-sama: Oh, right… Little Planet, didn't you get an Event Gift Pack? Now that we're all back in our home worlds, you should be able to open it, right?
The Little Wandering Planet: Oh! Right! I almost forgot I had a Gift Pack.
The Little Wandering Planet: If Kaguya hadn't reminded me, I might have seriously forgotten about it.
The Little Wandering Planet: Hold on a sec, everyone. Let me see what's inside.
Crazy Diamond: Must be nice having an Event Gift Pack. Why couldn't my mom have had me four or five years later?
Kaguya-sama: Same—born four years too early. The pain is suffocating~
Edward Newgate: Gurararara! This old man was born several DECADES too early.
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: Sigh… This one was also born five years too early.
Kaguya-sama: Yukari-nee-sama, doesn't your conscience hurt when you say things like that…
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: Hmm? Cheek-pinch warning!
Kaguya-sama: Yukari-nee-sama is young and beautiful, forever seventeen! (voice cracking)
Green Grasslands Wolf King: Pfft… Kaguya Shinomiya's survival instincts are truly something else.
Crazy Diamond: Too real…
Edward Newgate: Gurararara! Kaguya really is adorable. How about becoming this old man's daughter?
Kaguya-sama: No. Nope. Refused. Triple refusal!
The Little Wandering Planet: Opened the Event Gift Pack—there's actually stuff inside!
* * *
The moment the Little Wandering Planet's message dropped, the chat went visibly silent for several seconds.
Everyone was curious about the Event Gift Pack, after all.
Even the usually aloof Sage of Youkai, Yukari Yakumo, was interested in what the pack contained.
Sure, at her age, there was zero chance of her ever qualifying for a Children's Day Gift Pack.
But watching someone else open one?
That was entertainment in its own right.
Good for killing time, at least.
If even Yukari was this invested, the other members hardly needed mentioning.
Whitebeard, Ying Zheng, Wolffy, Tatsumaki, Josuke, Kaguya—even Ryū, the Admin himself—were all waiting for the Planet's next message.
* * *
Ryū also had an Event Gift Pack of his own, as it happened. The chat group's age assessment apparently used his time since transmigration as the metric.
Which meant that in the system's eyes… Ryū was still a two-month-old "baby."
A "baby" who could beat up Jōnin. That was… a mildly terrifying mental image.
As for why the chat group used that particular age calculation, Ryū wasn't entirely sure.
But then again, the Little Wandering Planet had been "alive" for billions of years and still qualified for the Children's Day Gift Pack.
So him—a legitimate transmigrator who'd been around for a grand total of two months—getting one as well?
That wasn't exactly shocking.
The Little Wandering Planet: The Gift Pack contained three items!
The Little Wandering Planet: I thought there'd only be one thing inside.
Kaguya-sama: Three items? Hssss… That's terrifying. Envy is causing my cells to plasmolyze.
Crazy Diamond: Envy is causing my cells to plasmolyze…
We, Ying Zheng: Envy is causing my cells to plasmolyze…
RawrSoFierce: Envy is causing my cells to plasmolyze…
The Little Wandering Planet: Pfft… Why is everyone ganging up on me now? Don't you usually all envy Admin-dono and Little Kaguya's luck? Waaah~
The Little Wandering Planet: Bottom-tier chat group member, trembling.
RawrSoFierce: …If you actually trembled for real, all the humans on your surface would probably die.
RawrSoFierce: At most, a handful would survive. Maybe a dozen.
RawrSoFierce: Anyway—what were the three items? Curious.
Ryū was genuinely curious about what the Planet's Gift Pack contained.
He had one too, after all.
So he'd rather see what the Planet got first, use it as a reference, get his expectations calibrated—and then open his own.
Of course, he had absolutely no intention of revealing that he also had a Gift Pack.
In the group's collective imagination, Ryū was even older than Yukari.
If, under those circumstances, he announced that he'd received a Children's Day Gift Pack—
The resulting shockwave would be the equivalent of a magnitude-thirteen earthquake.
It would absolutely shatter everyone's worldview.
So Ryū decided to keep his mouth shut.
Telling them had no upside. Not telling them also had no upside.
Might as well just not bother.
* * *
The Little Wandering Planet: The three items from the Gift Pack are: Points, some kind of weird coupon, and a strange… thingy.
The Little Wandering Planet: It's kind of hard to explain in detail.
The Little Wandering Planet: Let me just send some screenshots.
The Little Wandering Planet: [Image] [Image] [Image] — These are the three items. Nothing else.
RawrSoFierce: Points, a coupon, and a collectible… Major gacha-game energy right there.
RawrSoFierce: Reminds me of a certain Penguin megacorporation.
Kaguya-sama: Penguin megacorporation… Hmm, I've never heard of it.
RawrSoFierce: Just think of it as a gaming company.
Crazy Diamond: I think what Admin-dono means is that the stuff Little Planet pulled looks like drops from a video game, right?
RawrSoFierce: Exactly. Full marks!
Kaguya-sama: I see… I thought it was a company that sold penguin meat…
We, Ying Zheng: What manner of goose is a 'penguin'? Is it palatable?
Kaguya-sama: Hmm, penguin meat… I've never tried it.
* * *
Inevitably, the group chat's topic had derailed once again.
Par for the course, really. One moment they'd be having a perfectly serious discussion; the next, everything would careen off into absurdity. It happened all the time.
At a certain point, you just got used to the chat group's rhythm.
Looking at the three screenshots the Planet had posted, Ryū murmured to himself:
"A straight-up 1,000 Points? This Gift Pack is looking pretty generous. 1,000 Points… that's enough to learn two beginner-tier Six Powers techniques."
Indeed—the Points haul from the Planet's pack was a full 1,000.
In chat group terms, 1,000 Points was no trivial amount.
Especially given that most group members had a tendency to spend their Points the moment their balance reached any meaningful threshold.
Even Ryū and Yukari, who'd participated in two quests each, were running on fumes.
So 1,000 Points was a genuinely significant windfall.
* * *
Ryū turned his attention to the other two screenshots.
Compared to the 1,000 Points, the remaining two items interested him far more.
[Free Dimensional Transfer Coupon ×1]
A free transfer coupon valued at 3,000 Points.
Allows random transfer to any world — including but not limited to
group members' home worlds — making it rarer than a standard
Dimensional Transfer.
WARNING: There is a significant chance of arriving in a
high-power-level world. Use with caution.
Destination is determined entirely by the user's luck.
After use, mentally recite "Return to home world" to return.
A free Dimensional Transfer coupon? The chat group even has things like this?
But after a moment's thought, it made sense.
Ryū might be the most senior member of the chat group—not in age, but in terms of how long he'd been a member—and even he'd only been in the group for just over two months.
There were bound to be plenty of hidden features he hadn't discovered yet.
Perfectly normal.
Surprising? Sure, a little. But nothing worth making a fuss over.
More notably, this coupon was worth even more than a standard Dimensional Transfer—meaning the first two items alone had a combined value of 4,000 Points. Unfortunately, the coupon didn't seem to be redeemable for Points.
As for the final item, Ryū glanced at it briefly, then moved on.
Because this one was basically useless.
Not even as useful as the free transfer coupon.
[Children's Day Group Event Commemorative Badge]
A commemorative badge crafted by the chat group system.
A rather fine collectible.
Special function: None.
Just a plain, ordinary commemorative badge with nothing special about it.
Well—it might have one minor distinction: the material it was made from was probably different from any regular badge.
But even if the material was unusual, so what? That didn't actually do anything.
If Ryū's guess was right, when he opened his own Gift Pack later…
He'd probably get a badge too.
The odds were pretty high.
After all, "commemorative badge" was the kind of item that screamed "guaranteed drop"—a 100% inclusion rate if ever there was one.
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