"It's Wu Lei!" Clive Tyldesley shouted from the commentary gantry. "The Espanyol forward tracking all the way back to confront Theodore Bjorn!"
Theodore didn't break stride.
He locked eyes with the Espanyol forward, dropped his shoulder, and nudged the ball.
Wu Lei bought the feint and lunged. The ball rolled clean through his open legs.
A devastating nutmeg.
"Not today, mate!" a Villa fan roared from the front row.
@EuroScout: "Wu Lei trying to defend Bjorn is adorable but completely futile."
@Villan82: "Sent him to the shops! Shoot!"
@EPL_Talk: "This kid has zero respect for his elders. Filthy nutmeg."
Having bypassed the winger, Theodore didn't hesitate. He set his stance and unleashed a thundering strike.
The ball tore through the night air like a cannonball.
Espanyol goalkeeper Diego López stood rooted to the spot, entirely frozen.
Boom!
The ball ripped into the absolute top corner.
"WHAT A HIT!" Ally McCoist screamed into his microphone. "He makes a mockery of the defense and takes the net off its hinges!"
"A sensational strike from the Norwegian!" Tyldesley added. "He nutmegs Wu Lei and buries it from distance. Diego López had zero chance!"
Wu Lei watched the celebration unfold.
A mix of profound respect and sheer helplessness washed over him.
He was a solid professional, but he realized he was sharing the pitch with a generational freak of nature.
...
Espanyol restarted the match.
Down on the touchline, their manager, Abelardo, barked frantic orders. "Push up! Move the ball! Fight for it!"
The ball found its way to left-winger Matías Vargas. Before the Argentine could even turn, John McGinn arrived like a freight train.
The Scotsman lowered his shoulder and smashed into Vargas.
The winger hit the deck hard.
"Welcome to Villa Park, mate!" McGinn barked, stealing the loose ball.
McGinn fed Grealish down the left. The Villa captain whipped a dangerous cross toward Wesley in the box.
Espanyol center-backs Calero and Naldo sandwiched the Brazilian, killing the header.
Diego López gathered the ball and hurled it out to Wu Lei on the right flank to spark a counter.
Wu Lei scanned the pitch.
No options.
He put his head down and tried to drive forward.
Marvelous Nakamba closed the distance in a flash. Panicking under the intense pressure, Wu Lei tried to lay a pass off to Víctor Sánchez in the center.
The pass lacked pace.
Nakamba launched into a crunching slide tackle, sweeping the ball away.
"Not on my watch!" Nakamba shouted, scrambling to his feet.
"Caught in possession!" Tyldesley noted. "The Premier League intensity is just suffocating Espanyol right now!"
McGinn recovered the loose ball and threaded it straight back to Theodore in the center circle.
The exact same territory as his first goal.
Theodore wound up his right leg. Iturraspe, desperate to prevent another rocket, threw his body into the line of fire.
Fake shot.
Theodore dragged the ball past the sliding midfielder and initiated brutal physical contact.
Outmuscled and beaten, Iturraspe panicked.
He grabbed Theodore with both hands and dragged the teenager to the turf.
Peep!
The referee blew his whistle and brandished a yellow card.
"Cynical!" McCoist declared. "But he had to do it, Clive! Bjorn was about to pull the trigger again!"
The foul occurred twenty-six yards from goal.
Theodore claimed the ball.
He placed it on the grass, took a deep breath, and visualized the trajectory.
He stepped up and struck it pure.
The ball cleared the Espanyol wall, dipping with terrifying velocity. Diego López dove, stretching his frame to the absolute limit.
Thwack.
The ball nestled into the netting!
2-0.
Just fifteen minutes in, and Theodore had a brace!
"HE DOES IT AGAIN!" Tyldesley roared over the deafening stadium noise. "A free-kick of the absolute highest order! Theodore Bjorn is tearing Espanyol to pieces!"
"Look at the dip on that strike!" McCoist marveled. "You could put two goalkeepers in there and they still don't save it! The boy is unplayable!"
Down 2-0 inside a quarter of an hour, Abelardo threw his hands in the air.
The Espanyol manager abandoned his brave game plan. He screamed at his players to drop deep, pack the box, and pray.
The fight completely left the Spanish side.
...
Shortly after the restart, the Espanyol players retreated deep into their own half.
For the Spanish squad, avoiding a cricket score was the only objective left.
But the gulf in class was staggering.
In the 25th minute, the Villa machine struck again.
Theodore Bjorn controlled the ball in midfield. Surrounded by white shirts, the teenager exuded absolute ice-cold confidence.
He dropped his shoulder, faking a sweeping left-footed long pass.
The dummy drew Matías Vargas and Ander Iturraspe in like moths to a flame.
"Got him!" Vargas shouted, lunging forward to spring the trap.
But Theodore surged in the opposite direction.
While not blessed with blistering pace, his body feints created devastating separation. He left both midfielders grabbing at thin air.
Breaking free, he slid a pass out to John McGinn on the right flank.
Jack Grealish and Wesley had already parked themselves in the box.
"In the mixer!" McGinn roared, launching a booming cross toward the penalty spot.
The delivery traced a beautiful arc, presenting Wesley with a prime heading opportunity. However, the Brazilian striker lost the physical battle against Naldo.
The Espanyol center-back climbed higher, heading the danger away.
The clearance fell to the edge of the box.
Theodore arrived right on time to trap the loose ball. He didn't hesitate. He swung his right boot like a sledgehammer.
Boom!
The ball rocketed through the crowded penalty area like a tracer bullet. Diego López stood frozen, a mere spectator as the net bulged.
3-0.
"A HAT-TRICK FOR THE NORWEGIAN PRINCE!" Tyldesley screamed from the gantry. "He traps the rebound and unleashes absolute hell on the Espanyol goal!"
"Pure, unadulterated power," McCoist chimed in. "He makes the game look laughably simple. Diego López didn't even twitch!"
Theodore ran to the corner flag and threw his signature left hook right into the camera lens, roaring with the crowd.
That third goal broke Espanyol's spirit.
For the rest of the half, the visitors parked the bus. But with their confidence shattered, unforced errors crept into their game.
In the 40th minute, Theodore turned provider.
Vargas mishit a simple square pass.
Theodore pounced, intercepting the loose ball. With the Espanyol midfield out of position, he looked up.
"Jack, go!" Theodore commanded.
Thwack.
A raking, laser-guided long ball dropped right into the penalty area.
Grealish took it in his stride, chopped the ball onto his favored right foot, and lashed it past the keeper.
4-0.
The tie was dead and buried.
Espanyol managed one solitary threat before the break. In the 44th minute, Vargas launched a diagonal ball finding Wu Lei on the right.
The forward played a neat one-two with Facundo Ferreyra and found a sliver of space on the edge of the box.
He pulled the trigger, but leaning back, sent the shot sailing high into the Holte End stands.
...
At halftime, Dean Smith showed mercy.
He hooked Theodore Bjorn, sending Douglas Luiz into the fray.
With a commanding 4-0 lead in the bag, there was no need to risk the teenager's legs.
Even with their maestro resting on the bench, Villa dictated the tempo. The second half was a training exercise.
Villa punished the Spanish side three more times, finding the net in the 60th, 74th, and 89th minutes.
The referee mercifully blew the final whistle. 7-0.
A total demolition.
The second leg in Catalonia was a mere formality. Overturning a seven-goal deficit was pure fantasy.
Post-match, Wu Lei jogged over to the Villa bench to find Theodore.
"Unbelievable performance today, mate," Wu Lei smiled, offering his hand.
Despite the thrashing, the forward showed zero bitterness. He knew the gap in quality before kickoff.
Theodore had prepared a consoling remark, but seeing the genuine respect, he just grinned.
"Thanks. Good battle out there."
They swapped sweat-soaked jerseys to the applause of the lingering fans.
On Twitter, the global football community reacted to the massacre.
@EuroScout: "7-0. Villa didn't just beat Espanyol; they sent them to the shadow realm."
@Villan82: "Smart of Wu Lei to grab Theo's shirt. That's going to be a museum piece when the kid wins his first Ballon d'Or."
@EPL_Talk: "Bjorn played 45 minutes and dropped a 10/10 masterclass. He wasn't even sweating."
@FootballNerd: "If Villa keep this up, they are walking the Europa League. Nobody wants to draw them."
...
Aston Villa enjoyed zero rest.
Three days later, they traveled south to St Mary's Stadium for matchday 27 of the Premier League.
The Saints were dreading the fixture.
In their previous encounter at Villa Park, Villa had dismantled them 6-0, with Theodore bagging four goals and two assists.
Lightning struck twice.
Villa ripped Southampton apart from the opening whistle.
By the time the halftime whistle echoed around the stadium, Villa sat on a 3-0 cushion.
The scorer for all three goals? Theodore Bjorn.
Another devastating first-half hat-trick from him!
---------
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